Disclaimer: Tonks, with all her melancholy and tragic love belongs to the lovely Ms. Rowling. Remus too. And the Wizarding World. Basically everything.
The roof was hard. Each shingle stabbed cuttingly into her back as she lay upon them, staring up at the night sky. The autumn air nipped at her bare arms and drifted in swirls over her slipper clad feet. Her hair was resolutely brown, refusing to absorb any sort of life. Above her the moon shone, full and bright, taunting her as it so often did.
Unlike the others she knew, the celestial orb did not bring her peace, it did not make her think of happiness and beauty, but instead of sorrow and pain. Each glance reminded her of the one she was staying awake for.
For somewhere, deep in the forest, surrounded by a pack of bloodthirsty werewolves, he was hurting. And she could surely loose a night of sleep to be with him, if only in spirit.
She hadn't seen him in months. Hadn't felt his warm touch brushing across her cheek. Hadn't heard his voice, its gentle cadence which could so easily encompass her. Hadn't seen his smile, only growing past a smirk when he saw her. And she missed him far too much.
It was hard to think of the day he left, and yet at every moment it seemed to be at the forefront of her mind.
"You can't do this." She pushed down hard on the lid of his suitcase causing it to fall closed instantly.
"I have to." He replied emotionlessly, pushing the lid back up, "I'm the only one that can."
Tonks stared at him, trying to look at his eyes, hidden under his sandy fringe as he busied himself with his packing. "It's not essential that you do this. We've gotten on just fine without you there so far."
"But we had no reason to expect anything was going on before. Now we do. And I am going to investigate and see what's really happening. Perhaps I'll even be able to bring a few of them onto our side."
"Remus you and I both know how unlikely that is."
His eyes snapped up, and for the first time in week Tonks thought she saw a little bit of fire in them, "How unlikely what is? A dark creature siding on the side of good? Or just me actually being competent at a job for once?"
"That isn't what I meant." She snapped back.
"It's what everyone means. Whether they know it or not." Remus turned away and snatched another set of shabby robes from the bed and began to fold them neatly into his suitcase. His room at Grimmauld place was rapidly being condensed into a single suitcase. Tomorrow it would be set in the Burrow's attic along with anything else Remus might own before he departed on his mission.
She fought with herself for a moment before deciding what to say next, "why do you have to go? Really, not just because Dumbledore's told you to."
"He didn't tell me to. I volunteered."
That caught her off guard, "but why?"
"Because it makes sense. It would be helpful to the Order, I'd not have to worry about finding a new place to stay, and I haven't got any reason not to."
"What about me Remus? Am I not a good enough reason to stay?"
With a heavy click his suitcase was pushed closed with ease. He straightened and looked at her straight in the eyes. "You are not a reason I should stay. Just a reason I want to. You have to get over me Tonks; I'm not good for you. You deserve better."
She looked up at him imploringly, "Maybe I don't want better. I just want you."
"Sorry, I have to go meet Dumbledore," he said stiffly breaking her gaze and heading out the door. "I'll see you again, Nymphadora."
His last word to her had been that hated name he was so fond of using. At first when he said it she'd thought it was a joke. A way to rile her up and cause a reaction. Though as she grew to know h she discovered that was more of Sirius' forte than Remus'. Remus seemed to actually like her name. It rolled of his tongue with such ease and grace. When he said it she found herself hating it less. She might even go so far as to say that she liked it.
But now he was gone. No one at Order meetings called her Nymphadora anymore. Now she was just Tonks. That had always been enough for her. Yet, somehow, it wasn't anymore. She wanted to be more than just Tonks to someone. She didn't want to be alone anymore. She sighed up at the moon thinking of loneliness.
It shone down on her. Bathing her and the rest of the world in its brilliant light. Its light was a mere reflection of the sun's brilliant rays. Without the sun the moon would fade into nothingness. Useless and barren. Tonks could sympathize with that moon, for without her sun she too was colorless and dull.
AN: Another story I found in my files and thought I would polish up and publish. I love me some good Remus/Tonks angst. But really, who doesn't? Now, before you go, leave me one of those lovely reviews. I need them in order to survive.