Disclaimer: Neither of the authors own or make any claim whatsoever upon Yu Yu Hakusho and the events and characters of the aforementioned series. This is a non-profit endeavor and is in no way, shape, or form associated with or endorsed by the copyright holders.  Additionally, we do not own (or claim to own) the website mentioned in this story.  If we did own it we would make sure that the management understood how to run the site without offending the users.

The Hypocrite Hunter

Co-written by Rose Thorne and Yamino Tora

"Oi, Urameshi, check this out!" Kuwabara yelled, heedless of the fact that the person the statement was directed at was less than three meters away from him.

"What now, baka?" Yuusuke demanded, moving so he could see the computer's screen over Kuwabara's shoulder. Kuwabara pointed at a line of text at the top of whatever page he was at.

"Look, they've got a dictionary now!"

Kurama looked up from the book he was reading. "Who's got a dictionary?"

"That one fanfiction site that Kuwabara's always on," Yuusuke said. "The one that has the instant messenger feature."

"Used to have the instant messaging feature. They just removed it," Kuwabara muttered. "It never worked properly anyways."

"They removed the IM?" Kurama asked, putting his book aside and joining Yuusuke in leaning over Kuwabara's shoulder. "What's their excuse for that?"

"Limited resources that they want to use on developing core services, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean," Yuusuke said. Kurama frowned.

"Having a dictionary on the site really doesn't seem like a core service," he said, brushing a strand of hair from his face. "After all, there're plenty of dictionary sites online."

"Well, maybe this one's better than the rest. It's got a thesaurus too, so it must be good!" Kuwabara declared, clicking the link with an air of determination.


Half an hour and approximately fifteen searches of the wondrous dictionary later, Kuwabara was irate. "How on Earth can they not have kisama in there? Or teme yarou? Or even baka?"

Kurama sighed. "The site's in English, Kuwabara-kun. Maybe if you try searching for something in English instead of Japanese it'll come up with something."

"Why don't you try 'huggle,' Kuwabara?" Yuusuke said, leering at the larger teen suggestively.

"URAMESHI!" Kuwabara yelled, turning a shade of red neither of the other two had ever seen on a human before. Yuusuke shrugged, and Kuwabara entered the word.

"It's probably not even in there, considering I've never heard anyone but you use it. Speaking of which, did you ever get a chance to 'huggle' with Yukina?"


"Guess not," Yuusuke muttered, causing Kuwabara to flush again.

"Um, guys? It would seem that 'huggle' is really a word according to this dictionary," Kurama said, pointing to the line of text that stated the word's definition.

"'To hug'? Jeez, I bet that took a lot of effort to figure out," Yuusuke said. "Hey, what are you looking up now?"

"Fuck," Kuwabara said.

"Now that was entirely uncalled for, Kuwabara," Yuusuke said, looking totally affronted.

"You asked what I was looking up, Urameshi!" Kuwabara said, highlighting the word he had just entered. Yuusuke looked sheepish, and Kurama simply sighed.

"Kuwabara, it's unlikely that word is going to be--what the hell? It's in there?" the kitsune-turned-ningen demanded, staring at the screen in disbelief. "And there's thirty-two synonyms listed? Absolutely unbelievable. And this is provided by the people who want to remove all NC-17 stories from their site."

"So you're saying that they're hippogriffs?" Kuwabara asked, brow furrowed in concentration.

"The word is 'hypocrites,' Kuwabara," Yuusuke interjected.

"Whatever," the other teen muttered, typing in something else. "Hey, Kurama, here's something for you and Hiei!"

Kurama quirked an eyebrow at him. "Kuwabara, I doubt I need to know the definition of homosexual."

"Probably not, but there's a ton of other words that mean the same thing listed!" Kuwabara pointed to the list at the bottom of the page, and Kurama's eyes narrowed dangerously as he read it.

"Butch? Chicken? Dyke? Faggot? Fairy? Fruit? Pansy? Where the hell did they get all of these?"

"Where did who get all of what?" Hiei's unmistakable voice asked from the general vicinity of Kurama's elbow.

"That one fanfiction site has a dictionary now, and Kurama's steamed about the list of synonyms for homosexual," Yuusuke explained. Hiei frowned slightly.

"What's wrong with calling someone homosexual if they are?"

Kurama sighed and pointed to the list. "Nothing, but this particular site seems to be saying that calling someone who is gay a fairy, pansy, or faggot is acceptable."

Hiei glowered. "Stupid ningens. Never can figure out what they mean."

"And there it goes, the mighty hypocrite! Native to fanfiction sites worldwide, it has a nasty habit of lurking in the shadows and jumping up to bite you in the arse when you least expect it!" Yuusuke declared, doing his best to speak with an Australian accent.

Kuwabara frowned, clicking on a drop-down menu and scrolling down when the page loaded. "I thought so . . . They're violating their own Terms of Service. That thesaurus is defamatory against gays and lesbians." The ningen paused. "You know . . . just for shits and giggles . . ." The others leaned closer as he clicked back to the dictionary and began to type in another word.

"Heterosexual?" Yuusuke frowned. "Why are you looking that up?"

"To see if it's the same case as homosexual, with all the derisive synonyms." He clicked enter and they waited for the screen to load. "Carnal, epicurean, erogenous . . . What the heck are all these??"

Kurama frowned. "It looks like they're all synonyms for sensual . . . How are homosexuals NOT sensual??"

Kuwabara made a face. "Too much information . . ."

He was promptly punched by Hiei. "That's not what he meant, moron. He meant that it's weird that heterosexuals are considered sensual, which is a positive term, while homosexuals are considered 'queens', which is a negative term that borders on insulting. This shows quite a bit of bias on the part of the people running this fanfiction site."

Yuusuke nodded. "That IS weird. And notice how bisexual is considered an antonym for homosexual, but is also in the synonyms list. That's hypocritical in itself!"

Kurama scowled. "What makes me even angrier is that one of the synonyms is 'invert'! As in 'reverse'. That's very insulting. I certainly didn't reverse any sort of feelings!"

Hiei frowned and put a hand on his lover's shoulder. He stiffened slightly as Kurama hugged him, unused to showing affection in public, but quickly relaxed. "Calm down, Fox. Getting worked up about it isn't going to help. Maybe we should send an email."

"Won't work," Kuwabara mumbled, clicking another link. "That's weird . . . gunsel has no definition . . . and all it says under punk about sexually related things is that a punk is a prostitute . . ."

"What?!" Hiei glared at the computer screen and moved from Kurama's arms. "Are they TRYING to alienate half of their users??"

Yuusuke glanced at him. "What do you mean?"

Hiei glanced at Kurama, who answered for him. "From what we can tell, a good portion of the people who write fanfiction ARE homosexual, bisexual, or at least supportive of same-sex relationships."

Yuusuke stared at the two. "You guys did a STUDY??"

Hiei scowled. "Not really. Just look at all the yaoi and shonen ai fanfiction out there, and the lack of anti-yaoi sentiment . . . Well, almost all anti-yaoi sentiment. There was an incident a while back with an anti-yaoi spammer, but that seems to happen only every so often, and with the number of people who responded in support of yaoi, it's obvious that there's a lot of tolerance and acceptance in the fanfiction world. If people don't read or like it, they at least respect other people's right to write, read, and like it."

Kuwabara unglued his eyes from the computer screen. "I'd have to agree there. Heck, shonen ai fanfiction can be pretty good, sometimes. I was actually kinda homophobic before I read fanfiction, but now I'm fine with it. I really think these synonyms are very insulting. I'm tempted to stop visiting this site and go elsewhere."

Kurama scowled, his expression mirroring Hiei's. "Well, I USED to go there, but maybe I won't anymore."

"Hn. I wouldn't do that." The others glanced at him in surprise. Hiei regarded them impassively. "If we give in, they win. They'll have succeeded in silencing the dissenters."

Yuusuke nodded thoughtfully, then smirked. "Never give up! Never surrender!"

Hiei scowled. "Quit it. The 'Crocodile Hunter' impression was bad enough without the 'Galaxy Quest' quote."

Kuwabara stared. "Since when are you pop-culture literate?"

"Since I started dragging him to movies," Kurama said lightly. "And we have cable at home."

"Oh . . ."

Yuusuke shot the lovers an envious look. "Lucky. Cable's one thing that I haven't been able to convince Mom to get. Her soaps are all on the local channels, so she doesn't care."

Kuwabara grinned, logging offline and shutting down the computer. "Speaking of movies, do you guys wanna hit the matinee? There should be SOMETHING good playing."

Kurama smiled. "Sounds good. Guy night?"

"Hn." Hiei shrugged. "Fine by me.

Yuusuke grinned. "Cool! Let's go!"

And the four friends left together.


Authors' notes:  The views and opinions expressed within this story are a reflection of the authors'.  We are in no way saying that our personal opinions are right, but we are saying that everyone has a right to express their own opinions without fear of being censored.  We do not agree with a number of policies that the mentioned website has, and we are using this as a means of making our disagreement with them known.  Also, we would like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read this story and listen to our opinions.