Actual fans of the book series should keep walking to your next fic, because you probably aren't going to like this one. This is not Twilight as written by a fan, it is Twilight as written by someone who loathes the series and pretty much everything in it. It's the result of a bet with a friend that I could take the basic concept of Twilight, horrible as it is, and make it more interesting. Whether I succeeded or not… well, that's for others to judge.

This may or may not be continued, depending on how many death threats I get for the statement about hating Twilight. Blame the late hour and my extreme tiredness for throwing this up.

Disclaimer: Nothing but nothing belongs to me. And thank god, because I don't think I could take being responsible for writing what's in these books. I mean seriously. I feel dirty.


"Hi, good to meet you, I'm Isabella Swan."

The bedroom that the seventeen year old girl stood in was dark, save for the light from the computer monitor that illuminated her slim form as she stood in front of the mirror attached to the back of the closed door. Her hair was dark and fell just past her shoulders, and she wore only a robe.

After considering what she had said for a moment, the girl shook her head and changed her tone slightly, sounding less average and more like a stereotypical valley girl.

"So like, hey there, my name's Isabella. But they call me Isa, like, you can only say half my name? What's up with that?"

Her eyes rolled and she made a face, correcting her tone again to sound much more shy and demure. Her eyes kept flicking between the mirror and the floor, as though she was having trouble holding eye contact with the person she was talking. "Umm… Isabella. I… th-that's my name, I mean. I'm Isabella Swan. Um, I'm supposed to go here."

A thoughtful look crossed the girl's eyes and she filed that one away as a possible. Yet it still wasn't quite perfect. There was something off about it, and this, all of it, had to be perfect. It was the role of a lifetime, a role she could afford absolutely no mistakes on. There would be no second chances.

Her brown eyes flicked toward the desk where the laptop was set up, and an almost imperceptible swallow escaped the girl. She stepped that way, drawn almost reluctantly toward the newspaper there. Her hand reached out and gently brushed the picture on the front page, the photo of the smiling man with the mustache.

The headline screamed, 'FORKS CHIEF OF POLICE SLAIN IN ANIMAL ATTACK'. It was dated two months earlier, before she had convinced her mother that they had to move out here, to where her father had lived, to where he had died. Her mother had argued, but when she put her mind to something, she usually ended up getting it.

She had put her mind toward a goal that was so far out of reach as to be completely absurd. But she was going to reach it. Somehow, someway, she would do what she had to.

Breathing out, Isabella reached out to touch the laptop's trackpad. She flicked the cursor toward the already open video and tapped it.

Her father appeared on the screen, looking much more distressed than he did in the newspaper photo. He was clearly sweating, and appeared to have taken the video while sitting fully clothed in his empty bathtub. "Hey Izzy, it's me again." Charlie Swan seemed to flinch at a noise off camera, and stared off into the distance for a long moment before he went on. "It's me. I don't know if they've realized how much I know yet. They could be… they could be on their way here. They could be here. I don't… I can't… I'm sending you these messages to warn you, Izzy-baby, I know we don't see each other much, but you've gotta know. These creatures, these things, you have to stay away from them. You have to know how to recognize them, if you can-"

She had seen all of this before. Isabella moved the time on the video forward. When she stopped, her father had moved the camera even closer to himself. His voice was a harsh whisper, "Volturi, they're the ones that enforce the secret. There's five of them, five of their royal court. Five of the worst god damn monsters-"

She fast forwarded again, passing what she'd seen over and over again. Finally, she reached the very end of the video.

"I want to get rid of them, they need to die." Charlie Swan looked tired, and oh so defeated. "But I don't think I can. I don't think anyone can. They know I know something, and it's only a matter of time before they do something about it. Only a matter of time. But you have to know, I have to tell you. Stay away from them. Stay away from them, baby. I told you what to look out for, and now you just stay away. I did what I could, but nothing can kill these things, they're invincible. I think-"

Isabella stopped the video. Her eyes closed, and a tear fell, staining her cheek. "Dad…" She said out loud, a shudder running through her. Fifteen, sixteen times she had watched this, and it never failed to make her cry. He had so wanted to keep her safe, even when he was so close to being killed, murdered, he had done everything he could to warn her about what he had seen.

She stood still for several minutes, hugging herself as tears fell and her shoulders shook. Finally, she breathed in, then out again before straightening. Her eyes stared at the screen, at her father's face.

Then she turned away from the laptop and faced the mirror once more. A smile appeared, looking perfectly natural. "Isabella…" She trailed off. No. If she was going to do this, if she was going to become what she needed to become to pull this off, then she couldn't be Isabella. Isabella was an actress, a comedian, lover of life and everything in it.

No. That would do nothing to help her cause now; nothing to make sure her father's killers got what was coming to them. She had to change herself.

Her eyes closed just a little, and she let her body language sag. Not enough to be defined as lazy, but just enough not to be proper posture. The expression on her face dulled. First she frowned, then she smiled, then she found a neutral and completely unremarkable halfway point. She showed no emotion, she looked half dead, like nothing in the world mattered, like she didn't care.

When she spoke, her voice was dull. Not bored, just… emotionless, as if she was reading from a script. Correction, as if she was a terrible actress who cared absolutely nothing about what she was doing, reading from a script. "Hey. I'm Bella."

She repeated this several times, until she was certain that she had the tone and the inflection right. She had to give no emotion, no actual personality of her own. She had to let nothing of who she actual was shine through, so that her eventual target could easily 'paste' whatever personality they preferred into the blank slate that she left their imagination. She had to leave herself devoid of actual substance so that whichever of the creatures she found first could believe that they saw exactly what they wanted to see in her. She would be blank clay.

"I'm Bella." She said again, staring through the mirror with half lidded eyes. She didn't look bored so much as she looked boring. Utterly and completely boring. Perfect.

Turning away from the mirror, she walked back to the computer and pressed play once more, to hear her father's last words.

"I think the only thing that could kill them would be another one of their own kind. The only thing that can kill a vampire… is another vampire. And that, well, that just ain't gonna happen." He paused, staring into the camera for a moment before speaking even more softly. "I love you, Bells. If I never get to say it again, I love you."

He hadn't gotten to say it again. He had never had another chance. They hadn't given him one. Whoever, whichever of those things that had killed him for knowing too much hadn't let him say another word to his daughter.

She played a few specific seconds over one more time, while staring intently at her father's image.

"The only thing that can kill a vampire… is another vampire. And that, well, that just ain't gonna happen."

If the only thing that could kill a vampire was another vampire, then she would make it happen. She would make all of them pay, every last one of those monsters, those things that had killed her daddy.

Even if she had to completely reinvent herself, become the kind of blank slate that any one of these vampires could latch onto. Even if she had to pretend to love them, pretend to worship and adore them for months, or if it came down to it, years. She would do anything, absolutely anything, if it meant that one day, that vampire lover that believed he held so much control over her, that he actually knew her, let his guard down and made her into one of them.

She didn't care how long it took, or what she had to do. Eventually, someday, it would happen. It would happen because she was a very, very good actress. And then, once she was one of their kind, one of the vampires?

Again, she played that part of the video.

"The only thing that can kill a vampire… is another vampire."

They had killed her father, and in exchange, she would kill every last one of them.