The characters don't belong to me. The ideas do.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm not going."

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"It's a simple statement. I'm not going."

"It's important."

"It's not."

"It's part of my job."

"I'm tired of having to dress up for you."

"But you look so nice."

"I feel like a frakkin' trophy."

"You're not a trophy. Believe me you're not a trophy."

"You keep dragging me to these things that I have no interest in. Every freaking night!"

"They're a part of my job."

"I don't understand anything those people are talking about."

"Well, whose fault is that?"

"They don't have the same interests as me."

"You might try paying a little more attention."

"I see no reason to pay any attention that stuff. It doesn't mean anything to me."

"It's important to me. That should be enough."

"Well, I think it's time we started talking about children."

"I'm not there yet."

"When will you be?"

"Aren't you happy with the house? It's got a white picket fence just like you wanted."

"It's not enough."

"Well, maybe it's time you thought about getting a different job."

"I'm waiting for the right opportunity."

"And in the meantime you're living off me."

"We're married. That's what's supposed to happen."

"I'm not so sure that's right. Now get dressed."

"You never do anything I want to do."

"I have work. I have a career to pay attention to."

"The last time I had an event you didn't even show up."

"That was just a night out with your friends."

"You used to enjoy that."

"You know damn well I had to prepare for work the next day."

"You know, I'm starting to regret saying yes to you."

"Not half as much as I regret proposing to you."

Penny walked out of the room and called her sister.

"He's doing it again."

"Maybe you need to finally do something about it."

"You're right."

"The limo's here. I'll call you later."

When Penny got out to the limo she took out her cell and punched 73 on speed dial.

"Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper."

"Hi, sweetie."

"Hello, Penny."

"Doing anything?"

"Is he being a child again?"


"And you were wondering if I was available."

"If Amy doesn't mind."

"That's not a problem anymore."

"What happened?"

"Apparently Amy doesn't appreciate the social aspects of me being a Nobel Prize recipient as much as she thought she would. Or the travel. She doesn't like leaving her monkeys. She dumped me."

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Solitude is the burden of genius."

"Well, can I interrupt your solitude for the evening?"


"I'll be there in a few. Excuse me, driver, we need to make a stop."

Knock. Knock. Knock. Sheldon.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Sheldon.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Sheldon.

"Hello, Penny. You look very nice."

"So do you. I think maybe I married the wrong physicist."

"At the time I was taken."

"Yeah. Sheldon, is there anything you can do for Leonard? He's been driving me crazy since they fired him."

"I tried to convince the university that I no longer held a grudge but they felt very strongly that his manipulation of my original results in the Arctic was endemic of other possible academic misbehavior and preferred to not have someone like him on the faculty."

"He's not handling my success very well either. He can't understand why I don't want to just stay home and have his kids."

"Penny, you finally have the success you always sought. You've worked very hard. You're on a successful television program. You're making films. You're doing commercials. You are achieving your dreams just as I am. You know Leonard never really believed any of that would happen."

"Yeah. I should have realized he was really only interested in what he wanted. I should never have gotten back together with him."

"Why did you?"

"Partly it was because I was drinking a lot. Partly it was because I kept falling for his puppy dog please fuck me look."

"But if I recall the coitus wasn't even that good."

"I know. I was such an idiot."

"I believe there may be something I can do for him."


"There is a research project at the South Pole. It would be just him, alone for a year, but afterwards he would likely be able to garner a teaching position somewhere."

"You'd do that?"

"Only if you promise to do what you should have done a long time ago."

"You've been speaking to my sister."

"We have something very important in common."

"Okay. You do what you need to do. I'll start the ball rolling on my end."

"Alright. Now let's be off to the premiere of The Silmarillion."

A few days later

"I got a job offer."

"Great, sweetie."

"You might not like it."


"I'll be away for a year."

"That's nice."

"That's nice?"

"I have a going away present for you."

"You knew I was leaving?"

"I had a feeling something would come up."

"What's my present?"

"The house is now in your name."

"That's very nice of you. Does that mean you're finally going to have my children and let me be the man of the house."

"Hey, you're welcome to be the man of the house. I just won't be in it. I'm divorcing you."

"You can't do that."

"I've already spoken to my lawyer. It's essentially done. And according to our pre-nup you get exactly what I decide to give you. That's the house. I've arranged for it to be maintained while you're gone. When you get back, it's on you."

"Where are you going?"

"We bought a place that's more appropriate to my career and needs."

"I knew you were cheating on me."

"I wasn't, Leonard. Not ever. That's more your style."

"Then who is that "we" you're talking about."

"Sheldon and I will be sharing a house. At the moment that's all we're sharing but we both hope that in time, when we've both gotten past the toxic relationships we've been stuck in, that we'll find room for each other. Goodbye, Leonard."

A/N: Just something that popped into my head. I always thought that Leonard's fragile ego would never be able to handle Penny's success if she achieved it, especially if it dwarfed his. Enjoy and trust that I am still working on the other stories I promised.

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