MickDunD here with my newest story. I've been watching Sekirei lately, as well as brushing up on my Naruto. And for some reason, my favorite characters, the Akatsuki kept popping into my head. Mix that with the Sekirei, the plot goblins, and the constant stream of Eminem that I've been blasting straight into my ears made me write this. Basically, a few lucky members of the Akatsuki escape death and end up in the future thanks to two accidents with Space-Time Ninjutsu and one loudmouth Jashinist's immortality. Besides, there are no AkatsukixSekirei fics out there, so this is long overdue in a way. So read and review and enjoy. If I do something right, tell me. If you have a suggestion for a Sekirei harem, tell me. Or if you're just bored and you need somebody to bitch to, tell me!

Enjoy!

Obito POV

I smiled as I watched Naruto charge towards me, Rasengan outstretched and aimed at my remaining Rinnegan eye. We had to destroy it before Madara could get it. Without it, then they would be able to kill him again. Black Zetsu tried to force me to dodge it, but I resisted him. I needed to make things right. Everything I had done in Madara's name needed to be fixed. I was too weak from sealing the Juubi into myself and then releasing the sealed Bijuu again right now to help the reanimated Hokage fight him personally, but there was a way I could weaken him: by dying and taking the remaining Rinnegan with me and Black Zetsu.

Kakashi…Minato-sensei…Rin, I thought as the swirling mass of chakra neared my head. I'm sorry for everything I've done. Maybe this is how I'll redeem myself?

Suddenly, Black Zetsu wrested control of my body away from me and forced all my chakra into my empty right eye socket. The hollow pit in my face burned horribly but I watched as a swirling vortex appeared right over the socket. Somehow, Zetsu must have activated my Kamui, trying to suck the jutsu in before it could hit me. How he was doing it without my eye, I didn't know. Maybe he was using the First Hokage's healing abilities to rebuild my eye?

The blue ball of chakra warped into the space-time vortex for a moment before I poured every single bit of willpower into a lunge, throwing my body into the jutsu and forcing it into my face over my left eye. The Rasengan hit me and I felt it tear through my skull. It didn't hurt that much because a literal second after I felt it touch my skin everything I felt everything vanish in a huge flash of light before everything went black. I felt myself warp into my own Kamui, a strange cold prickling into my skin and a weight pressing down on my chest, forcing the air out of me and into the vacuum of death.

Takami's POV

"Shit," I said as I looked at the reports about Karasuba's latest mission. Ten insurgents killed in addition to the one hundred innocent men, women, and children who had "gotten in her way." I hated this part of my job, the part that made me want to drown myself in a whisky bottle after seeing it. I became a doctor so I could try and help people out, but all I was doing now was overseeing a madman command a monster onto the innocent masses.

I grabbed my temple as a headache started coming on and started thinking about something else.

The stem cells think about the stem cells, Takami, I told myself.

Using some of the technology that we had taken from the Sekirei Ship, MBI had just perfected flash-stem-cell-cloning, which would once again revolutionize medical science. We could now grow people new organs and appendages in a matter of minutes just from a single strand of DNA. Although so far we had only grown small things like hands and legs for army veterans or car accident victims. Secretly I was wishing for a way to test out much larger transplants, but I didn't want anyone to get injured that badly.

My eyes widened for a moment as suddenly the ground shook violently as if there was an earthquake. I dismissed it as nothing. After all, this was Japan, the land where a day without earthquakes came once in a blue moon. But to my surprise the shaking only intensified to the point where my computer fell off my desk. That was impossible. MBI Tower had been built with the leading earthquake-proof architecture.

"Um, Takami?" asked Number 88 from the examination table. "Why is the ground moving?"

"It's nothing, Musubi," I said. "It'll go away in a moment, just relax."

"Okay!" she said in a happy voice. "Musubi will be good!"

Suddenly the air around me shimmered and danced about as if it was solid. Then it began to warm and spin around in a circle, originating around a single focal point in the ceiling like a whirlpool in the middle of the air. It was like a tiny black hole surrounded by its own personal hurricane. Whatever it was, it was giving off a strange energy, blowing her hair around as all the light lose objects in the room hurtled towards its center. She watched as a black spot opened up at the center of the vortex, twisting around into a strange figure. Then the tearing sound started…and then the screaming.

Parts of the figure tore off in the force of the vortex and disappeared in the middle of the air, ground to particles by the sheer power of whatever the hell was going on. As each piece tore off, the figure's screaming got louder and louder until it finally stopped and she could see what the hell was making such a bloodcurdling noise.

It was a man, probably in his early twenties. He was wearing a torn purple, high-collared, long sleeve mantle that splits down the lower half, but only one of his legs was showing from underneath. His face was horribly disfigured, mainly on the right side but it looked like an old wound that had scarred over. The left side of his face looked like he had pressed a belt-sander over his eye on full speed. He was missing both eyes, as well as his right arm. A closer look showed me that pretty much all of his right side was missing, like it had been torn off. Blood began to pool under his shredded clothes and a ragged breath tore from his lips. My jaw hit the floor. Someone with injuries like this should have died a second after he got them. The fact that he was still breathing amazed me.

I blinked and remembered my training.

"Musubi!" I called. "Get this man onto a stretcher! And for god's sake, be gentle with him!"

"O-okay," she said, picking up the strange man and putting him onto the stretcher that she had been brought into the adjustment room on.

Her feet dented the solid metal floor, as did all unadjusted Sekirei, but somehow the man in her arms was unharmed by her massive strength. A trail of blood dripped from his side as Musubi laid him on the stretcher. I pushed her out of the way and secured his body onto the gurney, shoving my lab coat against his bleeding side and tearing out the electrical cables from a nearby machine and tying them around his body to make a tourniquet or sorts. I wheeled him out of the room and into the hallway punching the first emergency call button that I could find.

"This is Dr. Sahashi!" I yelled into the speaker. "We have a level four casualty in the adjustment wing! Prep the examination room for surgery, and set up the flash-cloner, STAT!"

I yelled the last part so no one would think I was kidding. Musubi was following me as I pushed the gurney down the hallway towards the examination room. I burst inside and grabbed the nearest doctor.

"This man has had an accident," I told him. "Don't ask me what happened, because you don't want to know. Just stop the bleeding and see if we can't get him a new arm and leg."

"Right away, Dr. Sahashi," he said from underneath his surgical mask.

I left to the safety of the observation room as I got ready to scrub up and aid with the surgery, watching as they picked a strand of the man's hair and fed it into the flash-cloner. It would probably be ten minutes or so before the new arm and leg was ready for transplant. If he could hold out for ten minutes not only would he be the luckiest son of a bitch I had ever seen, but he would be the first to receive the full extent of MBI's newest medical science.

I spared a glance at the man as they fed a tube down his throat to keep him alive. Who was he? Where was he from? Did he have anything to do with that strange vortex that spit him out? I shook my head and pulled on a spare set of scrubs.

I'll save his life first, I thought. Then I'll ask questions.

Deidara POV (At the end of the battle with Sasuke Uchiha):

"This will be my ultimate piece of art!" I yelled as I fed the detonating clay into my chest mouth. "I'll explode…I shall die and become art itself! This will be like no explosion before it, and it will leave a scar upon the Earth unlike anything else. Then, my art will receive the admiration it's always deserved!"

I looked at him as his eyes widened. My ultimate art was almost complete! Soon it would detonate and I would finally kill him!

"Tremble! Be afraid! Recoil in despair! Cower in awe and cry your heart out!" I screamed a little crazy-ish as my body began to pull in on itself. "Because my art…"

The black ball that was now my body/art began to crack. From within it, I could still see everything that was going on outside. My breath hitched as I watched Itachi's little brother bit his thumbs and started weaving hand signs. I recognized them right away, a summoning jutsu! He was going to summon something to protect him from my art!

No, it'll be too late, yeah, I grinned as the final crack appeared in the sphere. There's no way that he'll be able to endure the blast. It'll last for a full five minutes straight!

"Is an EXPLOSION!" I yelled as the sphere burst and unleashed my ultimate art.

As I exploded, my body slowly reformed back into its human form. It was a special technique that I had woven into my C0, something that would allow me to see what exactly my ultimate art would look like before I died along with the blast. I relished the feeling of becoming the true meaning of art. It was a heavenly feeling, being a mass of pure beauty and destruction like the world had never seen before. But then something went wrong. From within the explosion, I could feel a gap appear inside the blast, right where the Uchiha had been standing when I had detonated myself. He had managed summon something to keep himself from being turned into art!

But before I could lament that my own death would be for nothing, I felt a strong pull on my body. It was almost as if I was being sucked away into the void made by the summoning jutsu. I yelled and fought against its pull as hard as I could. I wanted to become art; I wanted to become a fleeting explosion of beauty that fulfils its existence with a single bang! The light of my glorious explosion slowly died from my eyes before I found myself spinning around inside some kind of vortex. It was like the time that I had tried to blow up Tobi and he had used his freaky space-time jutsu on me. But all I could feel was an unbearable cold wearing down on me as well as a huge pressure on my lungs. I couldn't breathe and I started to panic. I knew that I had to be dead now, but the feeling of being choked forced me to fight back against the blackness.

Suddenly the cold feeling disappeared, along with the pressure on my chest. I sucked in a breath and pushed myself upright, my chest heaving as I blinked. The darkness clouding my vision vanished and I looked around.

I was sitting in the middle of a deep, wide, crater, which was still smoking from the explosion that had made it. Despite my surroundings, I was strangely unharmed, shirtless, and very much alive.

"What the hell, un?" I asked to no one in particular. "Where am I?"

My hands dug into the soft ground, pulling up a lump of dirty clay. Well, at least I'm not unarmed, I thought as I looked down at my singed pants and Shinobi sandals. And at least I'm not naked.

I checked my clay pouches and found that they were both relatively intact as well as empty. Quickly, I scooped up as much clay as I could and filled both pouches to the brim. I was very low on chakra, though…so there was no way for me to make my detonating clay yet. Besides, I had to figure out where the hell I was.

I climbed up the steep sides of the crater, my muscles aching with protest. I dragged myself out of the crater arm over arm, panting hard. Without my chakra, I was as weak as a kitten. A strange wailing sound reached my ears and I winced slightly at the sound.

"TOBI, SHUT UP, UN!" I reflexively yelled over my shoulder. "Huh?"

I looked behind me to see people wearing dark blue uniforms running at me, one of them two of them carrying a stretcher. They were really weird clothes, like something that might have come out of one of a manga or one of that stupid Sannin's porn books. I felt them grab me and force me down on the stretcher, talking over each other as they carried me out towards a big white machine.

"Wait, yeah!" I protested as a set of doors opened and people in white clothes took the stretcher. "What the hell is going on? Who are you? Where am I?"

"You're in Shinto Teito," said a woman as she looked over me. "Relax, you've just been through a traumatic event. So please just stay still, I promise that you're in good hands."

I felt something poke into my arm and suddenly my vision went blurry. I was so sleepy all the sudden, the sedative only boosting the feelings of my own exhaustion.

Shinto Teito, huh? I thought as my eyelids fluttered shut. I guess I'm still alive after all.

Hidan POV:

"OI! KAKUZU!" I yelled for the millionth time since I had been stuck down here. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE, YOU FUCKTARD! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

I huffed in annoyance as there was no response. I didn't know what I had done to piss him off like this. Okay, okay, maybe I had shredded some of the money he had gotten for one of the heathens we had killed. Alright, fine, so I shredded all of it. I was sure that I hadn't been stuck down here that long. I mean, I had only managed to chew a little gap around my head so I could yell for help. This had happened to me before once, so I could tell that I had been here for only a few hours. Or maybe I had been down here for hundreds of years?!

"Eh, what the hell?" I grunted. I couldn't die so there was no need to worry. Someone was bound to hear my shouts and come find me. After that, it was time to go kill that pineapple-haired kid for putting me here.

"HELLO?" I screamed at the top of my voice. "CAN ANYONE FUCKING HEAR ME? KAKUZU! COME ON, KAKUZU…OLD FRIEND….PLEASE SEW MY BODY BACK TOGETHER! I'M NOT SORRY FOR SHREDDING YOUR FUCKING BLOOD MONEY IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY, BUT PLEASE PUT ME BACK TOGETHER? HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Suddenly, the ground around me quaked hard and from above ground I could hear a loud "boom!" I reflexively shut my eyes to protect them from the falling dirt, which filled up the cavern that I had made around my head. I groaned. All that hard work destroyed by something that felt like…

"SHE-MALE?!" I yelled, my voice muffled by the dirt. "WHAT THE FUCK? I THOUGHT YOU DIED! OI, DEIDARA-CHAN! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOLE! HELLO? I KNOW THAT WAS YOUR EXPLOSION, SO THERE'S NO USE HIDING! HELLO?"

I had a strange feeling that I would be getting out of here soon, so I just kept yelling at the top of my lungs, waiting for either that she-male or the miser to come and get my ass out of this Jashin-dammed hole. After that, it was time to get back to sacrifices!

Okay, tell me how this was because I desperately want to know your opinions. Should I continue this? Or should I focus more on Organized Chaos? Or should I give equal amounts of time to each one? I don't know, so you guys have to be the ones who know! Now tell me or I'll

A) Kill you in the name of peace.

B) Turn you all into beautiful fleeting art

C) Turn you all into beautiful eternal art

D) Sacrifice your asses to Jashin-sama!

E) Shred you with Samehada

F) …Hn…

G) Give you to Sempai, because Tobi is a good boy!

H) You're not worth any money, so Hidan can have you.

I) We'll just eat you. The one in Seattle looks delicious. I know, right?