The first thing Spock noticed was the smell.

Sharp and distinct, the scent of disinfectant stung his nostrils as he inhaled slowly. It would be a safe assumption that he was in sickbay then. Swallowing thickly, he mentally cringed at the sandpaper quality of his throat, sore with what he guessed was disuse.

How long had he been unconscious?

Eyelids feeling like lead the Vulcan sluggishly opened his eyes, blinking at the harsh white light. A machine beeped loudly to his left for a moment before footsteps sounded, the flick of a switch a dull click in the now almost silent room.

A small light shone in his eyes and Spock fought the urge to wince, raising a slanted brow in annoyance instead. A gruff chuckle took him by surprise as McCoy leaned back, shaking his head in amusement.

"If you've got the energy to raise a damn eyebrow at me you must be fine, hobgoblin," he said good naturedly, still running the tricorder over Spock.

"Indeed," he murmured neutrally, attempting to sort through the haze of his thoughts.

The Vulcan's body was a chorus of aches and pains, muscles feeling stiff and cramped. Where dark blotches of bruises once covered most of his body Spock glanced down to find unblemished skin. Noticing his gaze McCoy nodded to the now healed skin.

"Yeah went over all that with the dermal regenerator, took us long enough. You two never do anything in halves do ya?" the doctor complained, leaning back on the opposite bed and flicking through Spock's readings.

Like a bucket of ice water a rush of memories crashed over the Vulcan. Images flashed through his mind quickly, as his eyes widened at the onslaught.

The plants coming to life.

The monster that had chased them.

The glowing crystal cave.

His mother, screaming as she burned to ashes in his arms.

The feel of Jim's lips on his, passion igniting beneath his skin he had never felt before.

A man smirking, winking at them from behind dark sunglasses.

Jim stabbing himself through the chest, cerulean eyes staring up at him with love .


Spock sat bolt upright, tearing off the small cables and wires as he attempted to slide off the bed. Realising what he was doing, McCoy scrambled over.

"You can't-" The doctor was cut off as the Vulcan pushed his arm out of the way, standing slowly and shakily.

"Dammit would you listen to me?!" McCoy exclaimed, southern drawl more pronounced in his exasperation.

"Jim," Spock said firmly, shaking the CMO's hand from his shoulder. Taking a step, the world seemed to spin and then tilt as he fell to the floor.

McCoy knelt beside him, helping the first officer up to a sitting position. Eyes shut tightly, Spock tried to concentrate on the cold floor beneath him as he willed away the nausea and light headedness. He swallowed thickly, ignoring the quiet whoosh of the door sliding open.

Taking in the scene Chapel stepped over cautiously before McCoy shook his head. Hovering for a moment the nurse nodded before hesitantly heading out the door, closing it softly behind her. The doctor sighed heavily.

Despite their frequent arguments McCoy counted the Vulcan in his arms as a friend, and the fact the first officer had let himself show emotion in front of the doctor at all was tangible evidence of how far they'd come.

Letting other's see Spock shaking on the floor as he was made his stomach turn.

"Ya gonna hurl on me?" he asked softly, taking in the Vulcan's pale features. Slowly Spock opened his eyes, the dizziness and queasiness subsiding steadily.

"Negative," he murmured, clenching his jaw. Frustration filled him as he realised he was no good to his captain in his current condition, assuming Jim was even alive. Instantly berating himself mentally, Spock turned questioning eyes to the doctor beside him.

Running a hand through his dark hair, McCoy leaned back on his hands.

"I was trying to tell you Jim's alive, so take it easy already."

A weight lifted from the pit of Spock's stomach as he closed his eyes in relief. The fear and horror that had sat over his heart melted away and all at once the Vulcan felt like laughing and crying.

"Alive," he breathed, unaware of the knowing look McCoy sent him.

"What happened down there?" the CMO asked after a moment, and Spock shook his head lightly.

"I would prefer to debrief properly at a later time, perhaps when I no longer feel the need to 'hurl'," Spock said softly, slowly rising to sit on the edge of the bed. McCoy rolled his eyes from his place at the Vulcan's elbow but decided not to push it.

"We were doing everything we could to find the two of you; Scotty and Chekov practically ran themselves into the ground trying to figure out a way past the interference problem. We couldn't send a shuttle down because of the damn atmosphere apparently so all we could do was twiddle our thumbs and sit on our asses. And then out of nowhere the interference is gone, Jim's almost dead and you're not far behind," he finished, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"How long was I in a healing trance for?"

"Three days. M'Benga thinks it was some kind of mental exhaustion? I dunno, either way Jim is still out of it poor bastard," The doctor responded, and Spock nodded.

"And The Captain's condition?" he ventured, tone devoid of any emotion. McCoy narrowed his eyes slightly at the switch to title.

Bastard thinks he can fool me…

"Twice he died on my table Spock, twice. Damn Kirk luck," he added, shaking his head.

"Where is he?" Spock asked softly after a moment, straightening. McCoy stared at his form for a beat, keen medical eye taking in each small tremor of the Vulcan.

"…Next room along," he answered eventually and Spock nodded to him in thanks, turning and slowly walking to the door.

"And Spock?" McCoy called to him and the First Officer raised a slanted brow in question.

"I refuse to heal any weird or kinky sex injuries you inflict on the kid," the doctor said straight faced and Spock blinked in shock, face turning an impressive emerald.

"Illogical," he muttered, walking into the outside corridor with the sound of McCoy's laughter echoing behind.

Willing away the green hue, the Vulcan paused outside the metallic door.

"I'm…so sorry Spock…t'hy'la…"

With shaking hands, Spock entered the room.

The sight that greeted him left the Vulcan with a lump in his throat.

Jim lay pale and motionless, eyes closed and body hooked up to an IV. The gentle beep of a monitor the only thing telling him the captain was alive. Skin a pale white and blonde hair like a halo against the pillow, Spock's heart swelled at the sight.

Because despite it all Jim Kirk was alive- Spock's world was still there.

Dragging a small chair over beside the bed, Spock gently took Jim's limp hand in his own. The idle beep of the heart monitor was almost hypnotic, the steady noise the only sound in the small room.

Without fully realising it, the Vulcan's head began to tip forward as his exhaustion caught up with him.


Jim squinted against the stark white that greeted him when he opened his eyes, and he barely bit back a groan.

Sickbay. Again.

His entire body felt as if it had gone through a blender, and he wondered vaguely what he had done this time. He inhaled sharply as he remembered the jungle planet- and more importantly the strange man who had lived there.


Moving to shift his arm, Jim glanced over in surprise when a weight stopped him. Eyes closed and black hair askew, his stoic first officer looked to be deep in sleep, his head resting on the young captain's arm.

Slumping back into the sheets in relief, Jim stared at the Vulcan in wonder.

I should have known, he chided himself mentally.

Under the bright lighting of sickbay Spock looked paler than usual, dark bruises under his eyes standing out sharply. His Vulcan looked exhausted so Jim let him sleep, his burning curiosity a small price to pay for the other's health.

A moment later the door swished open, McCoy walking through while glaring at his pad. Glancing up, the older man looked surprised for a moment before shaking his head.

"I told him to take it easy but no, green blooded computer knows best," he muttered, rolling his eyes. Walking forward, he took the readings from Jim's monitor.

"Thank god you're awake, kid," he added, and Jim blinked up at him questioningly. Now that his fear for Spock had abated, Jim's mind felt as sluggish and tired as the rest of him. The last thing he remembered was the cold, spreading through his body. Spock had stared down at him with such anguish Jim felt his chest constrict painfully at the memory. Swallowing thickly, Jim flinched as he snapped back to the present.

McCoy was staring worriedly down at him, poking around his face with a tricorder.

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are?" he asked carefully, and Jim made to smack the small instrument away weakly.

"James T. Kirk, sickbay and if you don't get that damn tricorder out of my face Bones it's going up your ass," he growled irritably, and McCoy's shoulders slumped in relief.

"Quit your whining you infant," he shot back in mock irritation, the soft quality of his voice giving him away. Jim's annoyance faded and he smiled up at the CMO.

"Did you miss me Bones?"

"About as much as a hangover," he muttered, and Jim smiled.

"So uh…what happened? How are we here and not there?" he asked curiously, running a hand through unkempt blonde hair. McCoy shook his head.

"You were stabbed through the chest Jim; it's a miracle you survived at all. The only thing keeping you together was a bundled up undershirt. If the interference had held out minutes longer you'd be dead." Jim stared at the other man, taking it all in.

"But…somehow Spock saved me…" he murmured and McCoy huffed.

"Yeah never mind the poor CMO who is always stitching you back together you damn ingrate," he growled, dark blue eyes teasing despite the gruff tone. Jim grinned back at him.

"Naw Bones don't be jealous- you'll always be my bff!"

"Then what's Spock?" the doctor shot back with a smirk, and Jim flushed a deep red.

"He's uhh…he's…" the blonde mumbled, tripping over his words. McCoy threw his head back and laughed, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye.

"So you and the hobgoblin huh…about goddamn time, maybe we won't have to wade through so much damn sexual tension," McCoy said, relief in his tone. Jim coloured further and stuck his tongue out childishly.

"We did nothing of the sort!" The CMO snorted in disbelief.

"So you didn't have eye sex every two seconds, you didn't share meals constantly, you didn't lean over each other on the bridge and you sure as hell didn't make out Vulcan style all the damn time," he listed, counting each point off his fingers.

Face still red, Jim sunk down into the sheet, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like 'hi fives'. McCoy just shook his head.

"Anyway, lover computer over there was in some kind of Vulcan trance- acute mental fatigue from a mind meld…I don't know who with though since you were well and truly out of it…" he trailed off, brows knitted in thought.

Just as Jim opened his mouth to respond, he heard a sharp intake of breath from beside him.

Dark chocolate locked with cerulean and Jim's heart practically leapt from his ribcage. The air felt thick with tension as the two continued to stare, goosebumps breaking out over the young captain's skin as the Vulcan squeezed his hand.

McCoy quietly slipped from the room, suppressing the urge to gag at how disgustingly sweet they were.

Spock swallowed thickly, staring into the other's eyes. The last time he had done so they were a pale imitation of the brilliant blue he saw now, vibrant with life and shining with affection.

"You…you are alive…" he whispered, and Jim grinned in response.

"What, you didn't believe the monitor?"

He stared at Jim so intensely the blonde blushed, squirming under the scrutiny. Spock let out a shuddering breath and pulled the human to him, kissing him passionately.

Jim gasped as fire shot through his veins, heart hammering in his chest. One hand rose to stroke the Vulcan's cheek and Spock shivered beneath his touch.

"You are alive," he breathed in between kisses, almost like a prayer and Jim felt his throat go tight.

He pulled back to gently press his forehead to the Vulcan's, gasping at the emotion swirling in those dark eyes.

Shifting over, Jim pulled Spock onto the small bed with him, never breaking contact. Their bodies fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle, and Jim smiled against the Vulcan's lips. Gently, he pulled back to press his forehead to the other man's, feeling a warmth in his chest as Spock brought an arm around him and their breath mingled.

"Of course I'm alive- I'm with you," Jim murmured, tangling their fingers together in a Vulcan kiss. Spock kissed him softly, lifting his mental barriers at the same time.

An almost overwhelming feeling of love left Jim's chest feeling tight as he sighed against the Vulcan's lips, the hitch in the other's breath sending his heart soaring.

"I'm here Spock, I swear I'll always be here," he whispered, the sincerity filling Spock with warmth.

The Vulcan peppered kisses along his jawline and neck, leaving heat pooling in the captain's stomach as his…

my what? My boyfriend? No that makes me feel like a teenage girl…my lover? Nah too trashy romance…

"My t'hy'la…" he sighed after a moment, happiness spreading through his chest.

Hidden against his neck, Jim felt Spock's lips quirk up into a smile.


A/N oh my god it's done!

Thank you so much all my awesome readers and reviewers- seriously you guys are amazing! I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it :P

I'll probably be adding one shots or another story before long- maybe even a sequel at some point in the future.

Again, thanks for reading and flick me a review letting me know what you thought- even your fave parts so I can get a feel for what to use next time.

Thanks everyone xx