Cheery spent a long time in front of the mirror, adjusting her chainmail bra she bought from Madame Sharn. Her lipstick matched her tongue. She'd brushed her teeth like Susan had told her last time, with ash and salt, and she'd combed and washed and brushed her beard.

She'd dreaded her hair with little female alchemist clips who'd inspired her; there'd been only five throughout history. Susan knew all of them.


Angua washed her hair by moonlight in a pond. She'd brought some doggy shampoo with her and flea powder. She bit open the packets with her teeth, and accidentally killed the goldfish with the overflowing conditioner pot! Oops!

The inert garden gnome made a handy dispenser for her collar. And she slipped into the warm tropical fish pond and farted to make lots of bubbles for her lady's duet.

The clown fish swam around. It had never had to deal with so much trouble since the neighbour's cat.


Sally slipped into something more comfortable and silky than what Tawnnee, Nobby's ex-girlfriend, had provided for her last time.

The dress was leather and PVC and black all over except for this little white V on the back near her nape. She'd cut the red-text-on-black label out using her watch sword, so she couldn't take it back. She'd also ripped fashionable layers out of it until it matched Ankh-Morpork's current vampire trends for twee introvert fashion. John Smith would approve. It looked like she worked in a stake factory.

She also wore high heeled boots laced up and down the back and the side seams. Her dress had a split skirt and over-powering bodice section. It wasn't the white nightie look of old; it was the human gothic-look of new. Underneath, she wore nothing but perfume and invisible knickers.

Sally spent a lot of time polishing her nails and fangs. She had very good tooth-whitener, and skin bleaching. She'd hung up all her micromail watch armour to dry. On her head, she wore a black PVC leather hat decorated with red ribbons and dark blue feathers. She had a green belt on and little yellow V's inbetween her fingers on her gloves.

She had purple lipstick on and white blusher. She wore white eyeliner, and black eyeshadow. She wore her nude concealer and foundation powder. She had extensions in her hair and had little clips that looked like bats around her neck like where Angua wore her dog-collar.

Sally kissed at the empty space in the mirror that should have showed the reflection of anyone other than a vampire.