Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it? Nope, not mine.
Summary: Hyde's thoughts after "I Can't Quit You Babe"; Jackie/Hyde
Author's Note: I will love you forever if you give me feedback!
"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." - Anonymous
They think it's over. That all me and Jackie had was some hot, summer fling. That I was her rebound guy.
That neither one of us cared.
And that was the point, it was supposed to be all of that. Just some way to entertain ourselves when we couldn't take anymore of the Hell that was "The Price is Right."
But summer's over and so should be whatever me and Jackie have. Forman and Donna caught us; gave us the perfect excuse to end things right then and there. A few casual words, not even directed at each other, and then back to my magazine. No cheating, no fight, no emotions involved.
Back to way things should be.
Jackie was not supposed to crawl over to me and give that look. The one I always try to ignore 'cause it showed emotion. And emotion was not supposed to be involved. Especially when it was directed from her to me.
And Jackie was definitely not supposed to ask if I had been telling the truth when I told them that she disgusted me.
Not that she actually believed it. Somehow, Jackie can read me better than the rest of them.
Besides, anyone with half a brain can figure out that guys don't feel up a girl that disgust them in there best friend's basement all summer. But Jackie's high matience, even when she's not your girlfriend. Either that or the girl has some major low self-esteem issues. Don't see why, she's got everything. But girls are always seem to be complicated.
Very, very complicated.
But it doesn't matter 'cause either way Jackie is always looking for complements or even the smallest hint that she means something to me. Make a comment about her being cute, even if it's in a insult, and her face lights up like you just declared your love for her to the entire world.
And the more I think about it, the more sense it makes about her and Kelso and the million times she took him back. The boy's my friend and all but he treated her like shit. He cheated on her more times than she knows but she always took him back.
'Cause he always showed her attention. He'd tell her he loved her and promise that things were going to be different and she would always believe him.
Because she needed the attention, needed to feel like a princess.
And when Prince Charming ran off to California her dreams were shattered. At least for a week or so until she figured out it was more the attention that she loved than him.
Not that Jackie would ever admit it.
And for some insane reason she chose me to be her next prince. I mean, how wrong is that? I am not kind of guy to come riding up on a white horse and sweep her off her feet. I don't deserve her
She needs the kind of guy who goes to one of those prissy ivy league schools and gets some high paying job where Jackie will have maids and butlers and will never have to work another day in her life.
What future would I have to offer her? I'll be lucky if I graduate from high school. And I can't picture Jackie living in some small apartment, cleaning and cooking and doing all the things she should never have to do.
And I don't know why the hell I'm talking about marriage. Like we would even last that long. If Hell froze over and I actually ended up being her boyfriend it wouldn't last a week. She'd want to walk down the hallway holding my hand and share milkshakes and go on those dorky little dates that she always had with Kelso.
All the things I would never do.
Which is why I can't tell her how I really feel. It's safer, easier this way. As long as she believes this is completely physical I have nothing to worry about. Eventually she'll give up on me and go find a boyfriend that she deserves.
I would end it myself, but it's just a million little things that keep me with her. Like how I can't enough of the feeling of her body underneath mine or the way that she must have a million different flavored lip glosses.
So I'm gonna keep this up until she ends it cause I'm weak.
I never thought this day would come. A girl, Jackie no less, making me weak.
This is why I don't date. Like I said, girl's complicate things. They change you.
One minute you're you and the next you're...you're just not. You're actually considering how it might not be that bad to hold hands with her or that you don't really give a fuck what everyone says about the two of you.
So I'm hoping she ends this 'cause I'm too weak to. And the longer she stays with me the harder it gets to imagine me without her.
And if this lasts much longer I don't now if I'm gonna be able to let her go.