It had been two weeks since Elsa broke off all ties with Anna.
Two weeks and everyday Anna has left a note by her door. Something, anything,to remind Elsa that she isn't giving up.
I can't be with you.
Those five single words played on repeat in her mind almost constantly, the twinge of regret still very much present in her heart and in her head.
She's better off now, right? She doesn't need to deal with your emotional bullshit. The come here, pull away trip you put her through, you selfish-
Elsa's thoughts were stopped short at the sound of a heavy door opening, the faint motherly voice echoing the empty room.
The blonde heaved a sigh, lifting herself up off the chair that now held an indent from where she sat for so long.
"Please, come in." The woman gestured inside the office, a kind smile plastered across her aging face as Elsa brushed past her.
The inside of the office was unpleasantly bare. Doctoral diplomas were the only things hanging off the pale grey walls.
For a place that's supposed to make you feel invited, this certainly does the opposite.
There was a single couch against the left wall with a chair that sat in the middle facing the other piece of furniture. A lone computer desk sat against the far right with pens and papers messily thrown about.
"I'm terribly sorry about the lack of..allure this room holds." The woman chuckled softly as she closed the door behind them. "I've been meaning to do something about it, I just haven't exactly gotten around to it."
"It's alright." Elsa nervously replied, hands folded across her lap as she sat down on the couch.
"So this is your first time meeting with a therapist?" The older woman asked as she sat across from Elsa, notebook in her lap.
"Yeah, I kind of promised someone- My friends, I promised my friends that I would come find somebody to talk to." You're doing this for them, idiot. Not Anna. Don't bring up Anna.
"Well it's very brave of you to take that first step. You're very lucky to have friends that care so much about you." Hear that idiot? You're very lucky to have people that fucking care about you. "I suppose we should start with an introduction. My name is Mrs. Kai, but you can feel free to just go by Kai." Another kind smile followed the introduction.
"I-I'm Elsa." Shallow breaths and a racing heartbeat threatened to take the blonde over, anxiety creeping up into her veins.
Calm the fuck down, you're going to be just fine. Maybe she can help you get over Anna.
"Well it's very nice to meet you, Elsa. You don't need to be nervous, we can take this as slowly as you would like. Is there anything you would like to start off with?"
She's so friendly..it's almost Motherly.
"I'm not really sure how to start off honestly. I told my friends that I would come get help and here I am." Elsa replied, trying to steady her breath as the anxiety pulsed through her.
"I see. Why don't you tell me about them?" Kai smiled, crossing one leg over the other.
"Well there's Rapunzel, my roommate. I met her the first day I got here and she instantly tried to make me feel welcome. She invited me to a party where I met her boyfriend, Eugene and-and Anna." Even saying her name made Elsa's racing heart drop into the pit of her stomach, sweaty hands grasped tightly together.
Kai must have noticed the change of body language at the mention of Anna's name and cleared her throat.
"Did something bad happen at the party when you met Anna, Elsa?" The words were cautious, carefully chosen as she spoke softly.
Oh no. This wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to mention Anna you fucking idiot.
"I-I don't want to talk about this anymore." Elsa shook her head, brushing away any thoughts of the redhead that clouded her mind.
"That's fine we don't need to. Like I said, we take this as slow as you need." Kai reassured her, writing down Anna's name on the paper in front of her with a star next to it. "We still have about 30 minutes left of this session, would you like to continue or have you had enough for today?"
"I..I.." Oh no. Here it comes. Don't fucking cry. Elsa started before the tears flowed from her eyes. "I just want to be normal. I want to be okay and I want to be able to let her love me."
Kai grabbed the box of tissues and sat them beside Elsa, who took a couple in her hands.
"Every day. Every day she has left notes by my door or slid them underneath. She said she wasn't going to give up and she hasn't but for some fucking stupid reason, I can't allow myself to love her and I want to get better. I need to get better because I can't fucking hold in the fact that I love her anymore. It's killing me. Everything inside of me is killing me and I need to get better for everybody, including myself but I am so fucking scared because I'm afraid that when they get to know the real me, they'll leave. They'll leave and I'll be alone again and for once I don't want to be alone." Elsa was sobbing, shoulders shaking as Kai listened on.
"Elsa sweetheart, if they are your best friends they aren't going to leave. But getting better for yourself is something you have to do, whether they leave or not. It isn't healthy keeping everything inside of you and you need to be able to open up and talk about it. I'm going to be here to listen and we are going to get you help, okay? You aren't going to be alone." Kai spoke in a calming, gentle voice as Elsa started to breathe normally again.
The blonde bit her lip, standing on weak legs as she took a deep breath and wiped away stray tears that still hung in her eyes.
"I think I'm done for today. Thank you." The blonde turned fast to head towards the door.
"Elsa?" Kai called out, making the blonde stop in her tracks. "Same time next week?"
You promised them you would find help. You need help for yourself. You just broke down in her damn office so don't be an idiot and run away from this.
"Same time next week." The reply was just a whisper, but it was enough to make Kai smile a hopeful smile as she waved goodbye to Elsa.
It wasn't a long walk back to Elsa's room from the Guidance building. The wind was blowing a warm breeze that blew blonde bangs in every which direction as quiet footsteps pattered against the pavement. Eyes cast downward, Elsa was in deep thought about everything that happened today.
You need help for yourself. The biggest step is being okay with yourself before you can be okay for anybody else.
"Elsa!" The familiar voice of Rapunzel called out, causing Elsa to stop in her tracks and turn around, casting a shy wave towards the brunette as she ran towards her.
"Hey, I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to you in a few days since you haven't been around the room much lately besides to sleep." Rapunzel sounded slightly concerned.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I just- I just needed some alone time I guess." Don't you dare pull yourself away from everybody.
"Hey don't apologize." Rapunzel laid a comforting hand on Elsa's shoulder, who smiled back and quietly whispered a thank you.
Rapunzel nodded and smiled, taking Elsa's hand as they walked on forward.
The walk back to the dorm held a comfortable silence, the only sound were the footsteps that accompanied them as they walked up the stairs to their bedroom.
Rapunzel walked ahead of Elsa, only to stop in her tracks which caused a confused blonde to walk headfirst into her backside.
"Punz what the hell?" Elsa mumbled as she rubbed her head gently, stepping around the brunette to see what was wrong.
Against the door to their beds was a sleeping redhead with flowers beside her.
Oh no. Oh fuck I am not ready to see Anna. What the fuck is she doing here?
"What do we do?" Rapunzel whispered, quiet enough to not wake the sleeping form that sat in front of them.
The redhead stirred gently, rubbing sleep away from her eyes as she squinted to see who is in front of her.
"Rapunzel. Elsa." Anna stood up, balancing herself against the wall as sleep still clouded her body.
"Anna, what are you doing here?" Elsa spoke up, to everybody's surprise.
"I was waiting for you. Elsa please, we need to talk." Anna pleaded, taking a step towards the girls in front of her.
"I'll..leave you two alone." Rapunzel said as she slipped into the dorm room, leaving the two girls in the hallway by themselves.
"Elsa I'm not giving up." Anna stepped forward. "Please don't push me away, I want to help you get better. Don't think that any amount of time spent ignoring me is going to make me pull away from you." Another step forward, Anna's body cornering Elsa's against the wall.
"I'm afraid, Anna. Don't you see that?" Elsa began, her breath shaky as Anna pushed herself forward.
"There isn't anything to be afraid of, Elsa. Everybody has gone through things, some worse than others. What you've been through hasn't been fair, but you need to understand that I am willing to help. I'm not going anywhere if that hasn't been clear enough already." The redhead was almost pressed against Elsa's body, her fingers lacing between the pale, slender digits of Elsa's hands.
Does she really need to be any more fucking clear? You can do this. You just need to stop being afraid. Take it slow, but give it a chance.
Elsa's only response to the voice in her head was to close the space between the two of them, enveloping Anna in a slow, but powerful kiss that poured out emotion as the redhead eagerly returned the kiss.
There's nowhere to go but up from here. You may be at rock bottom, but you've got people that are willing to pull you up no matter how hard you fight to stay down there.
For once in your life, you're not alone.