MASSIVE MASSIVE thanks go to Nayafan, UnholyUnderBoob, & Beaner008 for all of their help and inspiration. This story deals with Age-Play in several forms. It starts as a kink wanting to be explored, and morphs ever so slightly into a form of therapy. I hope you all enjoy this and know that this is my very first Glee fic, so please be gentle. Reviews are more than welcome and only constructive criticism please.
Shannon Bieste took a deep breath once she hung up the phone. She then opened her lap top and began going through her email. The files had been waiting for her, since eight am, and she had another two hours to make a decision. She was interrupted ten minutes later when she heard a knock at the door.
"Coach, can we talk please?" Santana asked.
"What's up pun'kin?" Shannon asked gesturing for Santana to have a seat.
"I'm not complaining, I mean I am, but I'm not," she said.
"Spit it out Santana," Shannon encouraged.
"I'm tired of spanking people, and whipping them, and talking down to them. It was fun in the beginning, but I can't find new ways to challenge myself, or them. Berry is always going on about how you have to find something new. I can't find anything new. One bare ass now looks just like the next, what am I going to do? I don't want them complaining. This job, is by far one of the cooler ones I've ever had, it beats waitressing, the tips are way better, the pay is a ton more, I get to help out my friends and if you tell them I said that I will hurt you, and yet I'm bored. Nothing about this job is challenging me any more and I don't know what to do about it," she rambled.
Shannon was quiet for a moment and let Santana finish her rambling. "Alright," she said after a moment. "How much of a challenge do you want?" she asked and Santana raised an eyebrow, not fully understanding what was being asked of her.
"Santana, I am in a very powerful position, with a lot of contacts and if you are looking for a challenge, I will most definitely give you one. It will be a full time challenge in the beginning, and assuming all goes well, you'll eventually be able to get back to working here," she said.
"You're firing me?" Santana asked her eyes going wide and her voice taking on a very defensive tone.
"You will listen, or you will be spanked, that has never changed," Shannon said seriously.
Two years ago, Shannon Bieste had packed up and moved to New York City, and contacted her best friend Beth. "Beth, I need a job, whatever you have, where ever you have it," she'd said.
"I will get you a job and if you do well, you can help me expand my business," she smiled.
"Yes. We are friends Shannon, you know I run a dominatrix ring for lack of a better term. I need an office manager and a new dominatrix. My clients are starting to get a little bit bored. We need fresh talent and fresh "victims"," Beth explained.
"Whatever it is, sign me up," Shannon said happily.
It had taken three weeks for Shannon to get the business six new clients per day and three new Mistresses to join the circle. All were well trained with years of experience under their belts. They were women in the late forty's to early fifty's, but not a single one of them showed their age. The clients were thrilled and just as Shannon booked the newest client, Beth came around the corner.
"I came to give you a raise," Beth smiled handing her a check and Shannon nearly choked as she stuttered out a polite thank you. "You never struck me as a person with no words," Beth teased.
"I've never seen that many zeros before," she said honestly.
"Hard work, is to be rewarded," Beth told her.
"And disobedience is punished," Shannon smiled, pointing to the phrase on the stationary on her desk. That phrase was also emblazoned on a plaque out front behind the receptionist desk where a very pretty young lady named Nicole sat, answering phone and setting up appointments, collecting payments, and greeting the customers when they walked in.
"Very good my friend," Beth smiled. "Okay, serious talk though. I want some younger people. Younger Mistresses, and younger clientele," Beth explained and Shannon grabbed a piece of paper to take down notes to get all the information right. "Mistresses first, I will not send a girl in untrained. Training will be paid, five hundred dollars a week, advancement and a raise will be determined once training is finished. Training will be done at my discretion. If I don't like how she is progressing or I think she is going to be in danger, I will pay her and help her to move on. I want girls who want this too. Girls who are looking for a challenge. Age requirements are twenty two through twenty seven, strong, confident, willing to work," Beth said and then rattled off a few more details.
Shannon nodded, took down all the information and set up an ad. It was only three days later when a very familiar name showed up on her email. She replied with a smile pulling at her lips. This was going to be perfect, she was sure of it. "Please come to the following address at four pm sharp. You will enter building and take the elevator to the tenth floor. We will discuss everything in person. She pressed send and then picked up the phone, dialing to the front desk. "Yes Miss Shannon?" Nicole answered.
"I've set up an appointment at four o'clock Nicole. Expect a raven-hair latina with a high horse attitude. I only ask two things. Don't tell her my name, and be sure she reads the sign behind you," Shannon told her kindly.
"Yes Miss Shannon," she smiled.
Two hours later the very same raven-haired Latina showed up in the waiting room. It was 3:47 and Nicole smiled. A punctual person, this was a great sign and she loved how young this woman looked. "Fill this out please," Nicole said handing her the paperwork and then excused herself. "She's here Miss," Nicole smiled.
"Wonderful, as soon as it's filled out, escort her back here please," she said.
Nicole nodded and left the room. She sat down and after a moment the girl handed Nicole the paperwork. "Santana, lovely, thank you," she smiled. "I've been asked to show you this sign," Nicole said gesturing behind her and Santana read it carefully.
"Hard work, is to be rewarded. Disobedience will be punished," Santana read out loud, and she nodded.
"Just do your best to remember it," Nicole smiled and lead Santana back to Shannon's office.
"It's nice to see you again Santana," Shannon said and she smiled as Santana's jaw hit the floor in surprise.
Santana had been in training for two days and now her attitude was starting to come through. She was with Beth and had given her just a little too much lip and was quickly asked to repeat the company phrase.
"What the fuck, now?" Santana asked.
"Quickly before I double your punishment," Beth said.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Now we'll work on triple," Beth said simply, keeping her calm the entire time. Santana, in her stubbornness however had pushed much too far and was given twenty whacks on the bare, over Beth's lap, with a ping pong paddle. Shannon was crushed, she had thought for sure Santana would have done so much better. Santana loved control, but lucky for her, Beth saw something she loved. "Alright Santana, we're going to sit and let you calm down and then you and I are going to have a very serious talk. You have a lot of promise and I don't want to let you go, but if you continued to test me too much, you will be dismissed," Beth explained.
Santana's body reacted a bit and she squirmed at the memory of being spanked. She would much prefer to be on the giving end, than the receiving end. "I'm not firing you, we're doing well, you've done well for the club, but I have a new challenge for you, as long as you are serious, and I mean deadly serious. It will require one hundred percent of your time, it's very serious," Shannon explained. "You're going to have to be out of the club for a good while, but I with all the good you've done for the club, I'll be able to give you your base earnings without issue. Consider it a work from home position," she said.
"What does it entail? Miss Beth likes me to know all the facts before I jump in," Santana said and Shannon smiled.
"I'm proud of you Santana," she smiled. "Alright, tonight after your last client, come pick up this file, take it home, and be sure to let Kurt and Rachel read it. They do not have to participate, but they have to be aware of it," she said seriously and immediately Santana's face fell. Whatever it was, it was truly serious, because from the first day, Shannon had informed Santana that Kurt and Rachel were to know as little details as possible. Now she wanted them to know every detail.
Santana went home after dealing with her client, mumbling about needing a shower. She let herself into the apartment and sighed. Rachel was in the shower, doing scales and Kurt was on the couch, watching one of his DVR'd shows. "Hey Santana," he called to her, turning just briefly to smile at her.
"Hey. I need you to read this, and then you need to tell me what you think," she said handing him a small stack of paper in a blue file folder.
"Homework?" he asked her.
"It's for my job. How long has she been in there and who cooked dinner?"
"Ten minutes so far and I did. Beef stew, I left your plate in the oven, we didn't know when you were going to be home," he said.
"Good, thank you, read please. It's very important," she said seriously and Kurt immediately turned off the tv, picked up the folder, went to the table and sat down to read it. "Now?" she asked him.
"You asked, I'm doing, you've got a weird look on your face," he told her. "How's Coach?" he asked.
"She's fine, but she's the one who wants you read that," she told him and he looked at her funny.
The scales stopped and five minutes later Rachel was in the kitchen, in her robe. "Hey, did you talk to Coach about challenging your self?" she asked with a happy smile. "Oh and add pepper to that," she told her pointing to the stew.
"It's fine!" Kurt said.
"And I'm telling you, it isn't," Rachel said as they two bickered.
"Enough!" Santana said in her mistress voice.
"Great, now you riled her up and she's gonna spank us!" Kurt said poking Rachel in the ribs and Santana actually laughed.
"I talked to Coach. You and Kurt have to read that file, and let me know what you think, and then I have to report back."
"Why?" Rachel asked curiously.
"Heavy stuff. I'm getting a promotion or a challenge, or something, but apparently you two have to be either on board, or at least okay with the situation. I read it, I understand, mostly. You two have to make the call now."
Kurt looked at Rachel and went to hand her the folder. Rachel shook her head. "I'll read it, but you came to me, telling me you wanted a way to challenge yourself. You said you were losing your drive, and passion, and I'm not going to stand in your way."
"Read the file, before you commit to that," Santana said and she sat down to eat the stew. She took one bite and smirked at Kurt, reaching for the pepper.
Shannon sighed and looked at Santana. "They are really sure?" she asked.
"Berry read it twice with tears streaming down her face. She went through an entire box of tissues. Lady Hummel says he wants to help, but he doesn't know how and will take his cues from me."
"And what are your concerns?"
"That I don't break her any further than she already is," she admitted.
"I'm proud of you Santana. Let's go to the hospital and I will explain more once we get there," she said.
It was a standard hospital. White walls, chemical smell, and tons of people walking around in varying colored scrubs. "You know what age play is, you were Nanny to George once, remember?" she asked as she signed both she and Santana into the guest log and Santana grimaced but nodded.
"He was disgusting. He messed himself on pur," she started and then looked at Shannon. "She wants that?" she asked horrified, not wanting to do deal with any more bodily functions than normal.
"Calm yourself," Shannon said. "No," she said once Santana was a bit calmer. "She doesn't want that, she is damaged Santana. She got herself into a terrible situation, she has been broken and abused. Right now she can't control it, it's part of why she'll be working with you. She has to learn how to do pretty much everything all over again."
"So she didn't choose age play?"
"I don't understand, stop talking in riddles," Santana said and very quickly Shannon pulled her into the nearest bathroom and spanked her bottom firmly only once.
"Finish it Santana, Hard work is rewarded," she coached and with a grumble and sigh, Santana continued the statement of disobedience is punished. "You are not being respectful or patient, you know those are key and if you want this challenge, you're going to need to learn to get it together and fast. You will not go into that room thinking you know more than you do. You need to read over this file again, and truly understand it, then and only then will we go up that hospital room. This is your absolute last chance," she said seriously.
"Yes Coach," Santana said meekly and took the file, standing up to read the file.
"Sit!" Shannon ordered her and with a frown and a wince, Santana did as asked.
The nurse walked in and very carefully spoke to her patient. "Marley honey, it's Emma sweetheart, do you remember me?" she asked her and Marley looked at her, working her jaw around, feeling nothing but sore inside, and nodded slowly. "Can you try using your words please love?" she asked gently and Marley didn't say anything at all, she just stared. "Alright, maybe later," Emma said. "Now, I know you don't like this, but I have to change you, you're going to get a much worse rash if I don't," she explained and immediately Marley burst into tears.
Her long brown hair was quickly plastered to her face with a mix of sweat and tears and all she did was whimper and squirm and Emma tried to talk to her but Marley couldn't hear her. Her mind was brought back to the time where nothing but pain and torture happened. Her body started to shake and tremble as the memories kicked in and Emma worked quickly so as to minimize the shock that Marley was in. "Alright Marley, all done, all done, shhh," she cooed sweetly and gently fed Marley some ice chips. Marley coughed and sputtered but finally calmed down.
"Well honey, Dr. Martinez says that he's found you a new home. He's done a proper screening for both you and the place we want to put you in and you're going to be in very good hands now. Nothing like what happened to you at the last place will happen to you here honey," she told her, but Marley was not paying any attention. She had slipped into a full blown little girl space. Having been changed always set her back and Marley was now just lying in bed terrified. Emma sighed and continued to speak. Marley wasn't focused at all, but Emma still spoke to her as if she was fully aware of what was going on. She just hoped that something would get through. "You're a beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of you Marley and I hope one day you find the person who will nurture you the right way," Emma told her. She said it to her every time they spoke.
"Dr. Martinez, Shannon Bieste, we spoke on the phone," she said extending her hand.
"Yes Ms Shannon, lovely to meet you and you are Santana I take it?" he asked. Santana bit back her snarky comment, and simply nodded with a tight smile. "It's lovely to meet you as well. I'd like to introduce you to Marley. She'll be released in a few days, until then, I'd really like for you to spend as much time as you can with her, here at the hospital. It is critical that you bond with her, that she learn to trust you. I've talked to all her therapists and while they aren't happy with it, they understand that you're going to have to create a bond somehow," he explained. "Do you have any questions?" he asked.
"A million, but I don't know where to start," she said honestly.
"That is complete understandable," he said and he stood up. "Follow me, you can meet her therapists. She sees April for speech and Joe for physical therapy," he said. "I've explained everything to them, and they are going to have you sit in during their sessions. Marley should be ready for speech right about now, so why don't we go see her."
They walked into a room and Marley's eyes went wide. Santana was striking and Marley saw something in the young girl that immediately felt safe. The hard jaw line, the strong attitude, the confidence that oozed out of her body, it was a lot to take in, but Marley immediately understood that this was a girl who got what she wanted. She started to cry immediately. If this girl wanted her, and wanted to treat her the way Terri had, there was no way that Marley could survive another person who was just going to torture her. She had sores all over her body and she couldn't move.
"There she is, Marley this is Santana, can you say that?" April asked in a kind and cheery voice and Marley said nothing. "Come on Marley, let's practice, say, San, tan, ah," April coached and Marley still said nothing.
"I read her file, maybe she's too sore to speak," Santana said. "My name isn't the easiest," she said seriously walking into the room.
"I'm just trying to get her to say anything at all Santana, and if she's going to live with you, she's going to have to communicate somehow," April said.
"She has sores all over the inside of her mouth, and yet you think talking the way to go? Give her hand gestures, give her signals, make her beat the damn floor, but you don't make her talk in order for her to communicate when she's that's sore," Santana scolded and Shannon went to scold her, but Dr. Martinez stopped her.
"Let her do this, she's being protective, Marley needs to see that," he said softly.
Santana straightened her spine and walked over to the chair where April was. "If she has to communicate with me, then I get to dictate the rules," she said seriously. Marley looked on with something that was a mix of fear and awe. She hated speech lessons with April, which Santana had now stopped, but she also didn't know what Santana was going to do to her.
Santana picked up a bottle of lotion and showed it to Marley. "I'm just using this, my hands are dry, so I'm going to sit here and tell you a little about myself. If you want to tell me something, just stop me," she said and began to put lotion on her hands, purposefully using too much. Shannon had seen her do this on the closed circuit at the club, but usually it was to lube the guy up and torture him into an orgasm and then stop him from coming, so that his final release was more than memorable.
"Well, let's start with something easy. My name is Santana. When I was a little girl, I couldn't say my name, so I would say Tana. You can call me that. My little cousin, when she was little, she's now twenty, she calls me Sanny. My grandmother used to call me Garbage Face, but my parents put a stop to that when I got to kindergarten. If it's easy for you to say San, or Sanny, or Tana, or Santana, I'll take any of those names okay?" she asked and then looked down at her hands. "Oh, I have too much, are your hands dry, do you want to try some lotion?" she asked and to everyone's surprise, Marley nodded her agreement. For the next ten minutes she massaged Marley's finger tips because the rest of her hands were covered in bandages.
"You rest, I'll be back," Santana said once she finished and then excused herself to the bathroom, where she promptly threw up and cried. Marley was broken and now she had to fix her. She stared at herself in the mirror for five minutes, trying to breathe and pull it together before returning. She looked at Shannon and smiled. "I needed a minute," she said.
"You took ten, and I'm proud of you," she said.
The next day, Santana was back at the hospital and went straight to Marley's room, smiling at her when she walked in. "Hi Marley, do you remember me? I'm Santana, I met you yesterday," she said. Marley didn't move too much, but she moved her eyes to the bottle of lotion and then back to Santana. "That's right, I massaged your fingers yesterday. I could do that again if you like," she offered and Marley didn't say anything or move. "Okay, so I know that this April woman is making you talk and I know you don't want to, but we do need to communicate somehow. How about this. A quick blink of your eyes will mean yes and a long one will mean no. I will demonstrate for you," she said moving a little bit closer so she was in Marley's complete vision. "So what do you say Marley, do you and Santana have a deal?" she asked her and after a few moments of thought, Marley gave a quick blink and Santana beamed. "You're amazing Marley, thank you for trusting me," Santana said and Marley looked a bit surprised.
Terri had never thanked her before for anything. Terri did what she wanted and left and that was that. Marley seemed to think for a moment and Santana gave her time to process whatever it was that was going on in her head. "Let me know when you're ready Marley, then I'll put more lotion on your hands okay?" Santana asked and Marley blinked and Santana moved into the chair next to the bed. "Whenever you're ready Marley, just blink," she said kindly and after five minutes passed, Marley finally blinked. Santana picked up the lotion and smiled gently massaging it into her fingers.
"I wanted to tell you a few things today, but I don't want to overwhelm you, so I"m just going to talk to you and if it gets to be too much you can let me know and I'll stop. "First off, I feel like I should tell you about me, since I know a lot about you," she said and Marley's eyes flashed with shock and her body went tense. "Well not all about you, just about what happened to you before you came to the hospital. So I'm going to tell you that I'm a mistress," she said and Marley felt tears spring to her eyes immediately. "Shhh, it's alright," Santana said sweetly and she stilled her hands and just let Marley calm down. "Just breathe, you're okay," she assured her.
"See, here's the thing when I graduated high school, I went to college in Kentucky, I'm originally from Ohio. College wasn't for me," she said honestly. So I left college and went back home for a little while. About a month later I got a call from my friend Kurt. He and my other friend Rachel live here in New York. Berry, that's what I call her, got herself into a slight situation and Kurt was concerned for her, so naturally he called our friend Quinn and myself. We talked sense into Rachel and at some point I decided that New York might be the place for me. I came to New York and got a job as a waitress, but I just wanted more. I won't lie to you Marley. It's not worth it. I like control. I love the feeling I get, and after the training I went through, I am very good at my job. I'm good at control Marley. I like being in charge, and I like the powerful feeling that comes with it," she explained and Marley had tears running down her face, she was scared now. Santana was going to be just like Terri, she wasn't safe, and now she was in such a position that she couldn't even communicate she didn't want anything at all. Finally she remembered something and closed her eyes and Santana stopped all movement and all talking.
Marley left her eyes closed and let the tears fall and Santana waited patiently. "I didn't mean to scare you Marley," she said taking her hands away completely, she had to give Marley space, if she didn't the poor girl was going to go into shock, she was sure of it. "I don't believe in lying Marley, that's why I'm being as honest as I can with you," she said and after five minutes Marley opened her eyes and carefully looked to Santana. "I'm going to get some tissues and help you wipe your eyes," she said and Marley gave a quick blink. Santana smiled and nodded. "You're a super good listener Marley, I hope that everyone tells you that. I've known you for less than twenty four hours and already we have a communication system. You follow my rules very well. I will always, always, always reward good behavior," she said and Marley let out a soft cry. Her mouth was starting to hurt and she wasn't sure what to do about it.
"That's a bad sound Marley, and I will help, but I need to know what's wrong," she said and Marley carefully opened her mouth and continued to cry. "I don't know how to fix that Marley, I have to get help for you," she told her and left the room quickly, going to the nurses desk and demanding someone to come check on Marley. Marley heard her raising hell and wasn't sure what to think. Why was Santana so intent on helping her.
Marley was awake now. She didn't remember going to sleep. She just remembered a lot of yelling before hand and crying. She was always crying lately. Everything hurt, but still, she wanted to not cry any more, at least for more than an hour. She looked up at the door when she caught something out of the corner of her eye and was surprised to see Santana.
"You're awake again," Santana smiled. "Do you remember me? Do you remember Santana?" she asked and Marley blinked quickly. "You are amazing Marley, I'm very proud of you. I want to reward you for good behavior, do you think I could do that?" she asked her and Marley didn't respond. She didn't know what a reward was. She knew what used to happen to her, but she was clueless when it came to Santana. Santana thought for a moment and then smiled. "I should tell you what the reward is shouldn't I? let's start from the beginning then. Do you remember before when I told you I was a Mistress and I went through training?" Marley blinked quickly. "Well during my training, I was taught to know as much as I could before I jumped into anything at all. You are a very sweet girl and you have been listening very well. So as a reward I want to give you something. I went down to the gift shop and I found this," she said producing a little beige teddy bear. "See?" Santana asked with a smile and Marley started to pout and looked scared. "I messed up?" Santana asked her and Marley didn't respond, she didn't even blink. She wanted that teddy bear more than anything, but there were two problems now. First was that, she didn't know how long she was going to be able to keep it and secondly, it meant Santana knew she liked childish things at the very least. "Okay Marley, I'm going to put this teddy bear right here next to you and I"m going to get your file out of my bag and I'm going to read it to you," she said pulling a blue file out from her big black bag.
Rachel pushed her tears away and handed the file back to Santana. "You can't say no, you can't," Rachel told her.
"I can't say yes if you're going to fall apart though," Santana said. "I won't do anything to make you or Lady Hummel that uncomfortable," she said seriously.
"It's a sad story," Rachel said and Santana sighed, nodding in agreement. "Here's what I see. I see a girl who has found out something about herself and went to who she thought was a professional to live out her fantasy. We're living out our fantasies."
"Ours do not include pacifiers," Santana said.
"That's not the point and you just had three thermometer pacifier things delivered to this house yesterday, so, not the best example," Rachel said strongly.
"To bring them to work. Make a point Berry!" Santana said seriously.
"You came to me and said you wanted a challenge. It's here, staring you in the face, and you are the person who will be able to help her understand right from wrong, you do it all the time," Rachel said and Santana went to say something but Rachel held up her hand. "I"m not finished," she said. "You have to help her and find a way to show her that she can have this little girl life that she seems to want and that it does exist in a safe environment. I do not understand the whole dominatrix deal you have going on Santana, but you are very good at it. Take her into your care and show her that it's possible. I'll help where I can," Rachel said. "I'm done now," she said after a few beats of silence and Santana simply smiled and wrapped her in a hug.
"You tell anyone about this and I'll kill you," she whispered.
"No one would believe me," Rachel giggled hugging her friend back.
"This report is from Dr. Marsden. After careful review of the evidence that was gathered at the scene of the crime, I've determined that our victim has used pacifiers filled with vinegar. I'm not sure if this was by force or by choice, but if the patient wishes to continue with pacifiers, it must be introduced slowly and no sour liquids should be introduced to the soft tissues of the oral cavity. Also, by the same standard, diapers appear to have been by force. A victim who chooses to use them would only have done so, to this degree, if they were suffering from severe mental instability. The rashes were covering the entire right glute, the medial half of the left glute, deep into the vaginal cavity and the beginnings were scene on the outer edges of the anus. I suspect there was some rectal bleeding that lead to that specific rash, however, until the patient is fully communicative, this is still speculation. The patient shows normal nerve function, even during sedation and after spending several hours with Dr. Holiday, it is of the medical opinion that Marley is of sound mind and only wanted to explore some form of sexual entertainment that got ended up going beyond her control," Santana read.
She was quiet for a few moments, put the folder away and then looked at Marley. "I know you aren't ready to talk yet Marley, but I do understand that you want something more out of life Marley. I can see that you want to explore, and I will help you do that. I think that is why Coach, well Miss Beth, actually," she said pausing and taking a deep breath. "Marley, I've been "assigned" to you, for lack of a better term and I want you to understand that while you are scared and that's okay, you are safe. I will keep you safe," Santana said and after a moment Marley gave a quick blink.
"Thank you for your permission," Santana told her. "So now I want to get back to your reward, do you remember? I bought you something for your exceptional behavior and listening skills. I'm very proud of you, so I got you something I thought you would like. It doesn't have a name, that's something you get to give it. It's just a small little bear that this little girl can keep with her, whenever she wants, so she knows that she's being rewarded for good behavior. That's what this represents Marley okay?" she asked and again Marley gave a quick blink, indicating her understanding.
"Good girl," Santana smiled. "Now, I'm going to stay with you and massage your hands some more before Mr. Joe gets here. I hear you have physical therapy soon and you're just working on moving your arms today," she said. Marley looked confused and Santana smiled. "I told you Marley, I like control. I like being in control, I like the feeling it gives me. Knowing everything I can about you, while I'm with you, is a form of control. I made a promise to protect you and if I don't know all the details, I can't help, and I don't get the control. Make sense?" she asked. Marley blinked and Santana smiled. "You get a kiss now," she said and laid gentle lips on Marley's forehead. "I'm very proud of you sweetheart," she said, trying the nick name out for the first time.
On the third day, Santana sat with Marley for an hour before speech therapy. The lotion was worked into her fingers and now her wrists as they had just become uncovered and Marley moaned softly the entire time. It felt good to have Santana take care of her, but the new sensations she was experiencing were a little bit overwhelming. On this day, Santana chose to talk about Rachel and Kurt. "If you choose that you want to continue living with me, you need to know about my room mates. They know about you," she said and Marley had fear run through her body. "Calm down honey, calm down, just breathe for me. It's alright, it's okay that they know, they're going to have to know if you choose to come live with me, with us really. I will always protect you. They will not tease you, they will not make fun of you. They will find out a way to help you even, as long as you let them," Santana explained and Marley started to cry. "Oh honey," she said gently and she very carefully moved onto the bed and laid down with the crying girl who was now paralyzed with fear. "Shhh, you're okay, it's alright, I'll protect you Marley, I will always protect you," she told her cuddling in close and Marley cried herself to sleep. "Joe is going to be very mad at Santana for making you so upset and so tired before your session," she said on a soft sigh and laid with Marley for the next hour, until Joe came in and Santana woke her up kindly.
"I know you don't want to Marley, but you can do it and as soon as you do, I will leave you alone for today," Joe told her calmly placing a small ball in her hand. "Just squeeze it honey. A tiny little squeeze and then I go away. Your muscles need to regain some control. Terri was cruel to you and because of that, you aren't able to do the things that I can see you wanting to do. Now I know your friend Santana here has given you a lot of massages to your fingers to help them heal. Wouldn't it be nice to return the favor?" he offered.
"Absolutely not!" Santana said sternly. "You do not guilt her into anything. You ask her what she wants to do and if she agrees then you let her do it. You will not guilt her into anything," Santana said strongly, and Marley looked confused but Santana looked at her. "I made you a promise Marley. I said I would protect you and I will. That includes someone pressuring you and guilting you into something that you aren't quite ready for. You do what he says for you, not anyone else," she told her seriously.
Joe turned to look at Marley and sighed. "Alright Marley, in order to please Santana I will give you this ball so you can squeeze it and I'm going to watch you and help you through it, if you need it," he explained.
Marley looked at Santana and Santana shook her head keeping eye contact with Marley. "Not for me sweetheart. For you. You matter. You're important, everything you do from this point forward has to be for you and no one else," she said and Marley worked her jaw a bit and then looked down at the ball.
"If I make it look like it's for me, then I make her happy, and that will make me happy and she didn't leave when she found out what a freak I am. This is for both of us," Marley thought to herself.
She finally squeezed the ball and then let out a scream of pain. "What the fuck was that?!" Santana asked Joe angrily.
"Her muscle cramped, she squeezed too hard," he said quickly jumping into action, opening her hand and squeezing her muscles in just the right places to get it to relax and very soon Marley had tears running down her face.
Santana moved in quickly and wrapped Marley in a hug. "It's alright baby, it's alright, you did so well. You squeezed the ball, just like he asked you to, when you were ready and you did so well," she praised her. "But as soon as you calm down, Joe he is going to explain everything that just happened, so you don't get scared. Remember how Santana talked to you about being prepared, this is part of that," she said kindly, speaking softly into her ear and then she looked at Joe. "Everything. You tell her everything you can. You let her know what happened and why it happened and if and when it will happen again," Santana ordered and Marley looked sadly at Joe but cuddled into Santana, it was nice to finally be truly protected.
Day after day, while Marley had her speech and physical therapy sessions, Santana was present and made sure that Marley was fully informed of what was going on. Santana had beaten April to the room on this particular day and Marley had tears in her eyes the second Santana walked in. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked with concern and confusion. She knew Marley wasn't going to talk to her, but she always offered the question, wanting to give Marley the chance. "It's okay honey, you're alright," Santana said gently and to her surprise, Marley sat up, screaming in pain and hung on tightly to Santana.
"Ah, ah," Marley whimpered.
"Shhh, I"m here honey, Santana's here, you're safe," she said.
"Ah," Marley cried.
"Shhh, it's alright Marley. Santana's here, you're safe. I will always protect you Marley, you're okay," she told her and Marley hung on tight, shaking, and crying.
It was how Dr. Martinez and April found them five minutes later. "Oh good, you are here. Marley has been crying since you left yesterday," he said.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," Santana said and then she looked at Dr. Martinez, Marley still tight in her arms, now more settled on her lap in what Santana hoped was a comfortable position. "Why wasn't I called?" she asked angrily.
"Eee," Marley cried, resting her head on Santana's shoulder, her posture terrible, her body screaming in pain from the awkward position, but she wasn't going to dare let go.
"I'm sorry?" Dr. Martinez asked.
"If she has been crying since I left, why wasn't I called? Wasn't the entire point of me being here to bond with her? Wasn't I supposed to stop everything I was doing to come be with Marley and help her with her recovery?" Santana asked, her voice sharp and tight.
"Ms. Lopez, please calm down, don't upset her any further," Dr. Martinez said kindly.
"Mmmm," Marley started. "Eeee," she continued and started to cry.
"Ms. Lopez, please put her back in the bed, and we can discuss this in the hallway," Dr. Martinez said.
Santana growled softly and protectively and Marley gripped her tight. Santana carefully stood up and put Marley back in the bed, surprised at how light Marley was and how easy she was to maneuver.
"Ah, me!" Marely said, tears showing up again.
"Shhh, I'm sorry honey. I just have to go into the hall and talk to Dr. Martinez, I'll be quick," she said.
"Me," Marley said tears flowing down her cheeks now. "Ah, me!" she said slowly and then started to get more worked up as Santana left the room. "Me, Ahmee," she cried before finally pushing out the full word. "Mommy!" she squeaked and started to reach for Santana begging her to stay.
"Are you happy now?" Santana asked Dr. Martinez firmly. Then she moved back to the bed and sat down. "Shhh," she said focusing all her attention on Marley. "Marley, look baby, look," she said gently, reaching over and picking up the lotion that she'd been using since the first day she showed up. "Shhh, look, let's talk, very soft, you and Santana, very simple, very easy. You and I have a good thing going don't we?" she smiled at her and Marley hiccuped in response. "Shhh, calm down my lovely," she said. "Let me see those pretty hands, can Santana have them?" she asked.
"Mommy," Marley whimpered.
"Okay," Santana grinned and she looked at Marley who carefully moved her hands closer to Santana. "Tell me sweetheart, do you know my name?" she asked and Marley simply blinked her eyes once. "My sweet girl, I know one quick blink means yes and one long one means no," she said. "Tell me lovely, did you have a good night?" A long blink. "Did you have bad dreams?" A long blink. "Dr. Martinez says you missed me," she said. A quick blink and fresh tears. "Shhh, it's okay Marley, I"m not mad. I'll tell you a secret sweetheart, I missed you too," she smiled at her as she continued to massage her hands. "Alright sweetheart, one more question okay? You said your first word for me just now. That was something very special and I want you to be very sure that you mean it sweetheart," she said and Marley went on edge immediately.
"No, angel, I'm not mad, I'm so proud of you for speaking. You have a beautiful voice. Your first word though, that was Mommy, are you sure you want me to be your Mommy?" she asked her, and instead of a quick blink, it was many quick blinks in rapid succession and Marley started to fight to get up. Her entire body ached, she was opening up sores that had just recently healed and small bits of blood were now coming through the gauze pads taped on her hips but she didn't care, she had to be in Santana's arms where it was safe.
She cried out in pain again but managed to find the strength to roll onto her side, trying to get into Santana's lap. "No Marley," Santana told her. "No baby, we can't cuddle like this, Santana has to lie in bed next to you. We can still cuddle, we can, we will, but Santana has to stay next to you," Santana explained and then climbed into bed before gathering the girl close.
"Mommy," Marley cried and this time she didn't stop. Santana was safe, Santana would make things better, she was convinced of it, and Marley couldn't stop crying tears of relief, knowing that what Nurse Emma had said, had finally come true. She'd found the person to help her grow and be take care of her. She knew this because her hands were healing. Her fingers didn't hurt any longer and all that had come from being in Santana's care. This was her mommy.
That night, Santana went home and found Rachel at the computer. "Berry," she said walking in.
"Hey, how'd it go at the hospital?" she asked.
"Marley said her first word and she moved more than I ever though was possible at this point in the game," Santana said.
"And you're not celebrating that because..."
"She said Mommy."
"That's!" Rachel started excitedly.
"Me, she called me Mommy," Santana said and Rachel looked at her curiously. "I don't know if this is the challenge I want Rachel and now the next step is for her to come live here," she said pacing the apartment, flailing her arms, and looking genuinely concerned, but Rachel let her pace. It was something she'd learned. When Santana got worked up, you just had to wait until she was calm. "What am I going to do now?" she asked finally, sitting down on the bed and looking defeated.
Rachel stood up and moved over to the computer desk. She tapped out a few things on the keyboard and then looked back at her friend. "Come look. I've been doing some research today," she said.
"Because despite what you say, you are not superwoman and I wanted to give you some help," Rachel said rolling her eyes.
Santana pulled up a chair and looked over Rachel's shoulder. "Adult Footies with drop seat," she said and a smile crossed her face. "Getting kinky in your old age there Berry?" she teased.
"No, you goon, it's for your soon to be little popsicle," she said. "I read the file, twice, remember?" she asked.
"Yes, thank you," Santana said not looking pleased at Rachel's attitude. "Well if she's calling you Mommy, that means she trusts you which means she will be here soon and with her medical issues, she's going to need warm clothes. Look, they have ducks and butterflies and all kinds of cute things. She can stay in role, but still stay warm and if she has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, she won't freeze to death," Rachel said.
"She can't even walk," Santana said.
"Well I tried anyway," Rachel said and then excused herself into the kitchen and began cooking dinner. "It's my night, do you want anything special? I have no plans in mind," she said.
"I'm not in the mood for eating," she said.
"That's rare," Kurt said walking into the house and looking at the two girls and then looking at the computer. "You showed her?" he asked Rachel.
"And got shot down," Rachel said with a bit too much perk.
"I didn't shoot you down!" Santana defended.
"You didn't say yes or no. No answer from you means shot down. Four years in high school and five years in New York Santana I know you by now!" Rachel said.
"Retract your claws ladies!" Kurt said quickly noticing Santana was ready to launch into some type of rant about how Rachel didn't know her at all. The truth was, the three of them now knew each other very well. They both deflated quickly and Kurt smiled. "Let's all have dinner and discuss your days later," he offered them. They both mumbled their agreement.
Santana picked at her breakfast and Rachel stood back watching. It was killing her and she couldn't do anything about it until Santana was calm. "I feel you watching me," Santana grumbled.
"I want to help Santana, that's all it is," Rachel said honestly.
"And if I knew what the fuck I was doing I would have you help," she said angrily and honestly.
Rachel sighed and smiled. She hadn't seen Santana insecure in a very long time. She slipped into the chair near her and took her hand. "Listen to me, you got her to say her first word since this horrible ordeal and if I paid attention to you, that's like some gigantic step that even the "professionals" can get her to do. Didn't you say her speech therapist only makes her cry?" she asked and Santana nodded.
"I can't hurt her Rachel," Santana said her face crumbling and Rachel took her chin gently.
"Santana in the time I've known you, you've never failed anyone and that includes me," Rachel told her and Santana scoffed. "You know it's true. You and your psychic mexican third eye saved me from Brody. I told you then I would never doubt you and that includes right now. You fought for me, and now I'm fighting for you, with you," she said and with those simple words, Santana broke down.
Rachel moved into Santana's lap and cuddled her, keeping her close. "You're doing a very good job Santana, please give yourself more credit," she told her.
"I'm not someone's Mommy. I don't know how to be someone's Mommy," she said honestly.
"I think you do. I think you're doing it now," she said.
"With you?" Santana asked with a smirk, wiping away her tears.
"Well not right now, but you are doing it with Marley. You showed her how it's okay to get what she wants and to be safe, you taught her that and isn't that a Mommy's job to teach their children things?" she asked her kindly.
"I can't fail her. They put too much faith in me," Santana whimpered.
"Hey, breathe, and just take it one day at a time okay?" Rachel asked smiling at her.
Santana closed her eyes and nodded, resting her head on Rachel's shoulder as Rachel continued to sit in her lap and play with her hair hoping to soothe her friend.
"What are you doing today?" she asked her.
"Today is more physical therapy. Joe wants her to get her to move her arms so she can feed herself, or at least try, but her mouth is still so raw inside that they still have her on an IV drip and she hates it," Santana said.
"You'll figure it out Santana, you always do," Rachel told her.