A little Halloween piece since I've always wanted a Halloween episode. None of the characters belong to me.

The large, fluffy white angel wings only added insult to injury. Daria Morgendorffer stared at the white layered chiffon dress with annoyance. The thin fabric stopped a few inches above her knees and the midsection was cutting off her circulation. Worst of all was the white feathered headband that resembled a halo. She wanted nothing more than to shed the outfit, put on pajamas, and watch horror movies for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, she was bound to her word. She never backed down from a bet, even if she lost.

"Don't you look...heavenly?"

Daria shot her best friend a death glare before taking in her costume. Jane had gotten the better end of the deal for once. She was dressed head to toe in various shades of red. A dark red tank top covered by her normal red blazer, a pair of bright red shorts, sheer red tights along with a pair of burgundy combat boots. Glittery devil horns peeked out from among her jet black hair and she was holding a plastic pitchfork in her right hand. She narrowed her pale blue eyes and attempted to look menacing. Daria only rolled her eyes.

"Let's get this humiliation over with."


The Halloween dance was held in the gymnasium due to budget cuts and Mrs. Li's reluctance to open more than one area of the school after hours. The walls were decorated with paper bats and pumpkins while orange, black, and green streamers were draped from the ceiling. Refreshment tables were set up on either side of the room which were currently being manned by the student government. There was even a low-budget DJ playing a mix of Monster Mash and some outdated techno songs. Daria and Jane scoped out the scene with mild amusement. It was terrible.

"Maybe if we leave quickly nobody will know we were here."

Jane grabbed her friend's arm and steered her away from the double doors, "I don't think so, amiga. A deal is a deal."

Daria sighed but reluctantly let Jane drag her towards one of the punch bowls. Daria stared at the red liquid where plastic eyeballs were floating.

"I hope our fellow classmates decided to donate more of their organs."

Jane filled two plastic cups with punch and handed one to Daria, "I can almost taste their failure."

"What are you doing here?!"

Both girls turned to see Quinn standing behind them. Her crimson hair was tied up in a neat bun and she was wearing a pale green dress reminiscent of Tinkerbell. A pair of lavender fairy wings and faux ballerina slippers completed the ensemble. Daria could even detect a hint of glitter around her eyes. Daria took a sip of her drink which tasted like flat cherry soda.

"Hell was out of open vacancies."

Jane brandished her pitch fork, "All the cynical high school girl suites were booked."

"Whatever! Just go...What are you wearing?!"

Daria's cheeks immediately turned a bright shade of pink, "...I'm the guest on a wacky sitcom. This is all an elaborate skit."

Quinn grabbed her own cup, "Look, whatever you're doing just don't embarrass me. Maybe nobody will recognize you in that."

She turned and stormed off towards Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany who were convening near the bleachers. Daria took several deep breaths before she regained her composure.

"Well, I think I've filled my irritation quota for the evening."

Jane shook her head, "We've only just begun. Just wait until the costume contest!"

Daria groaned, "Oh great."


Quinn cringed as she observed the gross eyes floating in her drink. She hastily placed it on the bleachers and turned back towards her friends. Each member was wearing identical costumes in different colors. Stacy's dress was yellow, Sandi's was blue, and Tiffany's was pink. Their original mermaid idea had to be scrapped after Stacy tripped in her tail and bruised her nose. Quinn was happy; fairies really were better than mermaids anyway. Who wanted to be half fish?

"One of us has to win best costume. I mean, it's only fair that the most fashionable people are nominated."

Tiffany nodded in agreement, "Yeeeah, we're the moooost fashionaaablee."

Stacy looked around nervously, "But Sandi, Brittany has on those really cute go-go boots and there's that girl over there."

Stacy pointed towards a corner of the gym and Sandi narrowed her eyes, "Quinn, isn't that your cousin or something?"

It was in fact Daria. Quinn couldn't believe that she managed to actually look...cute! She was always the one in the cute costumes. Daria always dressed as a vampire or ghost or something else equally lame. Last year, she hadn't even dressed up at all. And why was she at a school event anyway? Quinn was convinced it was all an elaborate plan to humiliate her in front of her friends. The worst part was, it already seemed to be working.

"Uh...she won't be a problem, Sandi! She doesn't even like winning."

At that moment Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie decided to make their appearance. They were all dressed as pirates, the only difference being their choice of accessories. Joey sported a pirate hat with a skull and crossbones. Jeffy wore an eye patch over his left eye. Jamie was holding a plastic sword. They all flashed Quinn large grins before starting their stream of questions.

"Hey, Quinn, can I get you a drink?"

Joey elbowed Jamie, "How about a brownie?"

Jeffy shoved past the two of them, "How about...uh...a...napkin?"

She didn't have time for them right now. She was too busy trying to figure out just what Daria had up her sleeve.


Daria tried to loosen the straps on her wings since the elastic was cutting into her arm. She was considering abandoning them altogether but she'd spent fifteen dollars on the stupid things. She didn't even know costumes could get so expensive.

"Count Doofus at ten o'clock."

Kevin Thompson was lumbering over to them with Brittany clinging onto his forearm. Kevin was wearing a black satin cape over his typical football uniform. His black hair was slicked back with hair gel and a pair of fake fangs stuck out over his bottom lip. Brittany was wearing a 60's tie-dyed dress complete with silver go-go boots, matching headband, and round blue sunglasses.

"Check me out, I'm Dracula!"

"Bram Stoker is turning in his grave." Daria deadpanned.

Kevin scratched his head, "Who?"

"Kevy was supposed to be one of the Beatles."

Jane raised an eyebrow, "Which one?"

Brittany bit her lip, "Um...whichever one was the cutest!"

"Aw, babe, but vampires are cool!"

The group was joined by Mack Mackenzie and Jodie Landon. Mack was dressed as a Ghost Buster but Jodie was wearing normal clothes.

"Where's your school spirit, Ms. Student Body President?"

Jodie smiled sadly, "I spent so much time planning the event that I didn't have time to get a costume."

Jane shook her head, "That's too bad. You would've made an impressive Stay-Puft Marshmallow."

"I honestly didn't expect you two to show up."

Kevin nodded, "Yeah, aren't you weird chicks usually doing voodoo on Halloween or something?"

Daria resisted the urge to smack him, "That reminds me, can I have a lock of your hair?"

"Anyway, Daria lost a bet. She didn't believe I could fit 60 assorted gummy bears in my mouth."

Jodie winced, "You did that?"

"Unfortunately, yes" Daria rolled her eyes, "Right before she spit them out all over the kitchen counter."

Jane smiled, "Hey, you never specified the rules so I still win."

"I could top that! Babe, are there any gummy bears around here?"

Brittany sighed before tugging on Kevin's arm, "Come on, Kevy. There's a corner with our name on it."

He looked around, "Where?"

She held her tongue as she pulled him away.

"Attention, students!"

Mr. O'Neill was standing up on the DJ booth holding a piece of paper. Daria and Jane shared a look.

"The results of the costume contest are in."

"Wait, what results?"

Jodie pointed towards a table, "Student government picked the winners. We figured it was easier to observe everyone than parade them around the gym."

"So, you know who won?"

Jodie turned back to the stage, "You'll see soon enough."

Mr. O'Neill cleared his throat, "The scariest costume goes to Charles Ruttheimer."

Upchuck bounded up the stairs. He was a pretty impressive Frankenstein though Daria assumed he won strictly on personality alone. Mr. O'Neill handed him a goodie bag and a cheap looking ribbon.

"Okay, let's see, the cutest costume goes to-"

Daria waited for Quinn or one of the other fashion fiends to strut across the booth and take their winnings. She was confused when she saw Jane, Mack and Jodie all staring at her.

"What?"

Jane grabbed her shoulders and gave her a small push towards the DJ, "Go collect your prize, amiga!"

Daria blinked. She won? Mr. O'Neill spotted her and gestured for her to walk up the stairs. She walked as quickly as her legs would allow, making sure she kept her head down. She took her bag of candy and her golden ribbon. 'CUTEST COSTUME' was written on it in bold, block letters.

Happy Halloween, she thought miserably.


Quinn was glaring at her older sister and her prizes.

"I can't believe you stole this from me! Everyone knows I'M the cutest! UGH!"

Daria shoved another piece of chocolate into her mouth, "There's always next year."

Jane rummaged through the paper bag and extracted her own piece, "Yeah, if it's any consolation I think you had the second cutest costume. Well, you and the rest of the Fashion Club."

"They aren't the same!" Quinn huffed.

"Who says originality is dead?" Daria smirked.

Quinn snatched her bag of candy, "Just give me something!"

Jane leaned in towards Daria, "10 bucks says she'll eat it even though it's not sugar free."

"Even I'm not that stupid." Daria said as she watched Quinn scrutinize a taffy wrapper.

"This was the worst Halloween ever!"

Daria and Jane looked at each other and smiled.