AN – I know a lot of Olicity shippers were less than thrilled with S2 Episode 13 Heir to the Demon and I feel your pain! This is my cathartic rant to work through it myself! Be warned though there is no happy ending here! Also be warned that I didn't want to force my beta (Mic Riddy) to suffer through this with me so all mistakes are on me and I am sorry for that!
DISCLAIMER – Not even sure I want to claim anything (have I mentioned I'm less than happy right now)! :)
Sara moved away from Oliver, both still sweaty and breathing hard. This hadn't been a sweet reunion of past love nor even a desperate hope for a better future – this was about saying good-bye. Both were angry, hurt, and aching with unrequited love. Sara was devastated by her sister's rejection and Oliver was crushed by his mother's deceit. Their pain was again intertwined and both hurt for the other as well. When they had been on that Island together, both had clung to their families, to love to get through it. When they returned safely both thought they were too damaged, too unworthy of that family and love. Both felt the weighty burden of their own darkness, their guilt and their shame from the Island and they sought to protect their loved ones from that darkness.
Now in a single night both had their dreams shattered and their hearts broken as they saw the darkness within their own loved ones. They saw them not as they once did, good and whole on pedestal built on the misery of the Island, but instead as they actually were – flawed, dark and dangerous.
Sara and Oliver came together to say good-bye, not to one another but to their shared past, shared love and shared family. Their joining was more about mourning than celebrating, more about loss than love.
Sara smiled slightly at Oliver and received his nod of understanding as both saw this one time union for what it was. Both were silent as they started to get dressed again as they needed no words to discuss this. She knew she was home here with him but home was no longer where her heart was. Nyssa may have freed her from her obligations to the League but she couldn't free herself from that love. She still loved and ached with the loss of it even though she made the choice. As she told Ollie, she gave up love in order to keep what was left of her soul and that was the choice she must live with now.
As Sara was lost in her own thoughts she hadn't even heard the lair door open but she did hear Felicity speak to Oliver and she stepped forward to speak to Oliver's friend.
"I bought mint chocolate chip ice cream as I thought it might help you process…or least help give you fuel for another workout…" Felicity stopped as she made eye contact with Sara. As Sara watched, the woman's eyes flitted between the two of them and for a moment Sara saw the pain of loss flicker across her face before she put the ice cream down and continued to speak. "Oh, I see you found a way to process, ok, um, I'm just gonna, yeah, gonna leave and let you get back to…um, your processing now." Felicity gestured vaguely before turning away from them.
Sara watched as Felicity flew back up the stairs and was surprised to again feel the sting of tears in her eyes. Felicity had been one of the few untarnished souls Sara knew and yet the other woman had never made her feel like what she was until that moment. Guilt and shame made it hard for Sara to breathe and she again reached out to Oliver. As her eyes found his face she saw the same pain of loss flicker across his face as it had Felicity's just moments ago. Oliver continued to look at the door that had just closed behind Felicity and Sara took a moment to read his face. She saw her own shame and guilt reflected there but she also saw love.
In that moment Sara realized just how much Felicity meant to Oliver and knew that she wasn't just a friend or partner for the Arrow. Oliver had found a true source of light and love for his world and Sara couldn't stop the sharp pang of jealousy. She wasn't jealous of Oliver loving another as she knew they had no future but she was jealous that he had found such a source of goodness and light to chase away the shadows.
"You should go after her…go and explain Oliver."
Sara was surprised to see his shoulders slump as he shook his head in denial before he turned away. The Oliver who survived the Island with her was a fighter but this man had given up. The Island hadn't broken him but Felicity walking away just might.
"Oliver, you need to fight for her."
"No Sara, I don't deserve her."
"So you are willing to just say good-bye to her?" Sara flinched at her own words as she remembered Nyssa's accusations about her leaving.
"No, I won't say good-bye. Felicity will always have me – I've made that promise to her."
"But will you always have her or will she be the one to say good-bye?"
AN2 – Next chapter will be Oliver's POV and continue in the aftermath.