Saying Goodbye Chapter 9 – Sara 2

AN – First I really liked Sara and thought she would be great on the Team…then that wretched episode and I hated her….now I'm trying to find acceptance as I think she's gonna be with us for a while even if I still don't like it! I will say I think she's a complicated character and is someone to compare Oliver to as her path is both similar and different! Anyway here she is again bringing this story full circle!

AN2 – I've been remiss in thanking all who joined me for this therapeutic journey so pls let me assure you I really do appreciate everyone who read, reviewed, faved and/or followed! I do hope you got something for your trouble! And always, thanks to Mic Riddy who is my beta and the best beta ever!

DISCLAIMER – I can claim nothing!

Sara came back from patrol that night with Roy on edge. He didn't have a great deal of experience and she lacked the patience to want to teach him as Ollie apparently wanted her to do. By the time you were out on missions for the League you had already been trained and if you failed, you had only yourself to be blamed - assuming you were still alive to feel anything. The League wasn't a "team" and it was more difficult than Sara had anticipated to find her place here with Ollie.

It was even more difficult to remember each of these untrained people had any say in the decisions. Sara focused her time and energy on Ollie as she considered him her only equal here even if he wasn't acting the part right now. She had been envious of Ollie's team previously but now she just saw them as burdens weakening him and requiring more from her. The Ollie she knew fought and killed easily but this one was softer, not physically but mentally. Sara just wasn't sure he still has what it takes to survive anymore.

Sara took a deep breath and tried to stem the rising flood of emotions. Since she had returned to such a disappointing homecoming, Sara found she lacked her customary control. She knew she shouldn't blame Laurel, Ollie, or the others; but she found she was increasing resentful of their expectations and anger. There were times she missed the freedom of not caring and as those times were becoming more frequent she had to fight the urge to escape the restrictions of her family and Ollie.

She considered talking to Ollie as he was the only one who would understand but he was wrapped up in his own difficulties. Apparently Felicity didn't have the heart of gold Sara first thought and the girl was making her resentment clear in her sullen disappearing acts. Sara didn't understand why Ollie didn't just cut her loose and move on as apparently neither of them was willing to actually fight for the other. It was increasingly obvious to Sara that love and even family in any form was a pipe dream. Sara was especially annoyed that "love" was affecting Ollie enough that the Team wasn't as strong as she would like. How could these people even survive much less protect the City?

Sara slammed her gear down and sent a glare over her shoulder to Roy who stood on the other side of the lair neatly replacing his supplies. Sara paused for a moment to think about the 'team's lair'. It was certainly better equipped than the Island cave but Sara couldn't see it as the home that Ollie spoke of previously. Of course, she didn't see his team as family or partners either. Maybe this just isn't the place for me…

Even as she had that thought Sara turned and noticed for the first time that Ollie was seated at the computer table with both Diggle and Felicity. She took another moment to notice that Felicity was seated between the men and all three appeared more relaxed than she had ever seen them. Glancing back at Roy Sara noticed he too was staring at the scene in amazement and no little concern.

Only then did Sara again see the Team she had been so jealous of previously. She also realized that something had changed and the three were clearly presenting a united front … a united front against her. She narrowed her eyes at the potential threat and felt her defenses rise even as anger heated her blood.

"What happened tonight?" It was Diggle who asked calmly that question.

"Nothing – ninja boy here scared them off before we could get in place." Sara didn't bother to conceal her annoyance and disgust with Roy's inexperience. "We need another plan Ollie as this isn't working. I think—"

"We do have a new plan actually. Roy, Sara, have a seat. We need to talk…" It was Ollie who interrupted her.

Following the "team" discussion, Sara tried to bury her resentment and abide by the new rules but she was still resentful and angry. Oliver had made it clear that he, Diggle, and Felicity made the decisions and regardless of how much she argued he wouldn't back down. Neither Diggle nor Felicity ever joined the fray as they both appeared content to let Oliver fight this battle for them too.

She had returned from another useless patrol several hours ago and had worked out but still the energy bubbled just under the surface. Sara nearly growled in annoyance before she made her decision to return to the lair and pick-up more gear. Ollie may not want them to check out the newest Triad warehouse but she wanted to and she was going to do what she wanted to do this time.

The mission didn't take long and she did get some good intel. She was also able to work off some aggression by letting the guards see her. Unfortunately, the sharp claws of the guard had sliced through her clothes and flesh. She needed to return to the lair and see to the injury herself. Sara was still tense and angry so she drew up short at the unexpected sight of Felicity standing by med supplies at the table.

"I guess I should expect the rest of the 'team' shortly then? Am I being court marshalled for disobedience? Stripped of my rank? Kicked out of the clubhouse?" Sara growled disdainfully.

"Have a seat Sara – it's just you and me." Felicity's voice was calm and quiet which only served to put Sara further on edge.

"I don't need –" Sara found herself cut off as Felicity spoke in a louder voice.

"Yeah, you actually do need me Sara. You can't reach the wounds on your back and the Triad likes to add some new tricks to their toys so we need to test your blood too. Sit down."

Sara actually sat before she realized it but she didn't get back up. With jerky movements she stripped her jacket and shirt off and leaned over the table. Felicity worked gently enough to remind her of Nyssa but Sara quickly quashed those memories. Sara was grateful Felicity was also working quickly and quietly, even if she wouldn't tell her that.

"I assume you have intel from your trip which means you'll need to tell Oliver and Diggle."

Sara refused to acknowledge the girl's statement and simply gritted her teeth as she dressed again.

"Sara, whether you want it or not, you have a Team with us. I know you have a family and there are issues but we are a family here too. You can't go off on your own—"

Now it was Sara who interrupted. "I'm surprised you are encouraging me to be on the 'team' Felicity. It's clear you don't want me to come between you and Ollie—"

Felicity stepped back in, "You can't come between us Sara."

Sara was surprised by the statement and confidence behind it. She turned to stare at the girl and realized Felicity wasn't intimidated. Sara had to again re-evaluate her view of Felicity. Once upon a time, Sara had viewed her as an untarnished, gentle soul and was jealous of Oliver having her and the light she had in her. When Felicity reacted as she did to Sara joining the team Sara then dismissed the girl as weak and unworthy just as she dismissed the thought of love.

Felicity continued to hold her gaze without speaking and now Sara saw something else, something more. She again saw the light and goodness that still didn't judge, but it was different. The light was more focused now – more like a spotlight than a lantern which made it stronger but less inclusive. Felicity still didn't judge but she no longer appeared willing to just include everyone in her goodness either. Sara realized the girl may have been lost briefly in recent weeks but she had clearly found herself again and was stronger because of it.

Sara nodded as a sign her acceptance and respect before she turned away. Sara turned back as she heard Felicity leave and couldn't stop the feeling of again being jealous of the other woman.

AN3 – Okay, guys this is now as complete and "happy" as I can make it! Again, thanks for sticking with me and if you enjoyed it or got anything from this therapy I hope you'll review/PM and let me know!

AN4 – Also, I think I'm ready to move back to a fluffier Olicity now and have a new chapter for Lessons Learned. I have given up the idea of sticking to the current S2 storyline though as it is clearly darker than I want. I may pull some good scenes from it but Lessons should probably be viewed as more AU now as I'll probably continue to ignore Sara!