Hey guise! So, Ritsy is back from the *unexpected* hiatus, and she brings with her a new fanfic! Oh man, I've been so busy with work, it's crazy. But yeah I was feeling super inspired lately and this idea just came to me. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'm so tired right now but I really wanted to finish this chapter and get it uploaded. Please be kind to me and read it! Reviews are welcome, as is constructive criticism. I love all of you, old readers and new! Enjoy~
Disclaimer: I do not own kuroshitsuji or any of it's characters. All are credited to Yana Toboso-sensei. The only thing I own is this story.
Warnings: Vulgar language, offensive slang/slurs.
The small study was dimly lit by a bright computer screen; silence was thick, save for the clicking of keys and heavy sighs that left the lips of the sole occupant. Empty boxes were broken down, tossed haphazardly into a pile next to precariously stacked boxes, still to be unpacked, sitting in a corner. Several shelves were filled with books, titles and genres of all sorts, in no particular order; the weight of the books seemed to be almost too much for the shelves, for they sagged in the center, threatening to collapse at any moment. The study was sparsely decorated, few picture frames resting on a desk pushed up against the back wall where the monitor sat, a soft thrumming noise coming from within it. A coffee mug with kittens painted on the side of it perched innocently near the edge of the desk, threatening to fall at the slightest hint of movement. A leather computer chair rested in front of it, and were you to stand behind the chair, it would appear empty. This was not so; perched low in the seat was a young male, his legs crossed upon the seat cushion in front of him. One dainty porcelain hand lifted up and reached for the coffee mug, fingers trailing over the images before wrapping around the handle. The male lifted the cup to his lips, sipping the lukewarm coffee in distaste. Another heavy sigh left him as he leaned his head back, eyes complaining from staring at such a bright screen while surrounded in darkness for so long. Blae hair shifted as his head moved, silky tendrils sliding out of his heart-shaped face as royal blue eyes fluttered closed to give them a much needed rest. His lush, full lips were parted slightly, though he breathed silently through his nose. His slender frame barely sank into the plush cushions of his seat, and the dim light from the monitor screen washed out his already porcelain pale skin. The male almost looked as if he were a ghost, worn out and weary.
"I hate this," he groaned, clutching onto the mug with one hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his other. One leg slinked down, his toes barely able to graze the ground as he spun his body away from the monitor, it's soft humming becoming the constant buzzing of angry bees in his ears: entirely unwelcome and extremely unpleasant. Another whine left his throat, his shoulders sagging in defeat as his cellphone chimed. Knowing who it would be and dreading what they had to say, he lifted the phone slowly, as if it weighed a thousand pounds. He pushed the talk button, pressing the phone to his ear as he licked his lips. "Hello, mother."
"Have you applied to any colleges yet?" The woman's tone of voice was stern, as if she already knew the answer. The young male blanched, wrinkling his nose in resentment.
"'Hello, son, it's so great to hear from you. I miss you already, how have you been?' Oh, quite well mother, thank you for caring." He mimicked his mother's voice perfectly. "That's what you're supposed to say."
"Ciel, do not sass your mother," a male's voice scolded, and Ciel sighed heavily. She has me on speakerphone, the witch, he thought with mild unhappiness. It should have come as no surprise to the young man; his mother always had to have the back up of her husband.
"Skip the pleasantries and answer my question, Ciel," his mother said severely.
With a roll of his eyes, he stared at the ceiling as he answered her question in a monotone voice. "No mother, I have not yet applied to any colleges. I'm still browsing through the immeasurable amount that you and daddy dearest have selected for me." He pursed his lips and blew his bangs out of his eyes. "I do have options other than college..."
This remark brought harsh laughter from his parents. "What, getting hired as the starring role in some production that will shoot you into instantaneous fame? You aren't five anymore, Ciel. It's time to let those childish wishes die."
"It could happen, you know," Ciel practically spat through clenched teeth. "You both know of my exceptional acting skills-"
"Yes, the infamous 'skills' that you're always going on about. Where have they gotten you in your month out of high school? Nowhere," his father rudely mocked him.
"Just give me a month, please. Just one more month to find a job, any job," Ciel begged, clutching tighter to his coffee mug's handle until his knuckles turned white.
Snickering, his mother conceded. "Fine, one month, Ciel. But that is it. If you do not land any roles for plays, or other such nonsense, you will be applying to colleges. So help me, if you do not, your father and I will disown your ass and block your access to your trust fund faster than you can say "will suck dick for food". And before you go whining about your trust find, let me remind you just who that money truly belongs to: your father and I."
Pressing his lips into a thin line in an attempt to control the rising anger, he huffed out "...you guys are dicks. You suck the joy right out of everyone around you."
"What was that, son? You want to lower your time limit to one week?" His father asked snidely.
"Fine! Fine, you win. I swear that I'll do exactly as you say if I fail. Are you fucking happy?" Ciel grit his teeth and narrowed his eyes; his parents were lucky that they were nowhere in the vicinity of his person, or else he might start hurling objects at them. Or maybe throttling them... That sounds much more pleasant...
"I'm glad you see things our way, son. It would bring shame on our family name if our child were to become a talentless bum, barely scraping by." His father sounded pleased with himself, and his wife interjected in a falsey cheery voice.
"This was the best option, really," she chirped, before her voice became hard as stone. "So get your shit together."
Without bothering so much as to acknowledge their loving words, Ciel hung up his phone, hand falling limply to his side. His left leg curled snugly under his right thigh as his foot dangled a few inches above the floor. He brought the mug up to his lips and slammed back the now cold coffee as though he were taking a shot. If only, he thought with bitter amusement. With a sigh, he turned his chair back around to face his computer screen, starting to once again peruse colleges and the courses they had to offer. Reaching into his sweater pocket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, shaking one out and placing it between waiting lips. The flick of a lighter was soon to follow and he took a deep drag as his eyes settled on a subpar maths course.
"This one is bullshit. And, oh look! This one is also bullshit. I never knew that colleges could get away with packing so much bullshit into their sites. When would I even use... 'Street-fighting Mathematics?' What the actual fuck is that even?" He frowned at the screen before pulling up another college website. "Those evil bastards I call parents are really pushing for this one... Why-" he paused in his speech, eyes catching on the several medical courses and majors listed. "Ah, they want me to be a doctor." A snigger escaped his lips, and soon full blown laughter was rolling out from deep within and echoing off the walls. "Me? A DOCTOR. HA! Me, a motherfucking doctor, really? Really guys? Holy fuck." His sides began to hurt from the force of his laughter and he clutched onto himself, gasping for air. His cigarette, long forgotten, was now just a line of unlit ash, and the trembling of his hands caused it to slip through his fingers. All attempts at trying to calm his laughter down were smothered each and every time he looked up at the screen. "You've got... to be... kidding me..." he choked out between fits of laughter.
The streets were busy, which came as a surprise to the thin blond male darting through traffic, his lithe body dodging all obstacles. Thigh high boots barely made a sound as his featherlight steps led him across an intersection. "It's so early. What the fuck is wrong with all these people? I mean, really, traffic, at 9 in the fucking morning?" He shook his head, blond locks cascading around his face. He winced as the noise of honking horns beat against the cool morning air. Irritation seeped into him and he sucked in a deep breath. "Oh yes, hurry on to your destinations, others better get the fuck out of your way because you don't want to be late for the JOBS YOU HATE!" He yelled into the air, a few passersby stopping to give him strange looks. He simply raised his hand and flipped the world off, uncaring of how many people he was offending.
"Don't look at him, Mary. He's a bad seed. Don't associate with the likes of him." A mother whispered frantically to her child.
The male's azure orbs lazily scanned the woman, spotting that she wore no wedding band and that her clothes were what one could consider sexy, fitting her form to a T. A cruel smirk twisted his lips as dark amusement flashed in his eyes. "Oh yes, and bringing home countless men that you fuck while your daughter may or may not be sleeping must be setting such a wonderful example for her already."
The woman's face flushed and she hissed "asshole" at him before rushing her daughter away. He could hear the innocent girl asking what fuck meant, and it made a laugh burst from his lips.
"Ah, my gods, that was perfect. My day equals fucking made. Might as well take my happy ass back to bed-Oh, except I can't." The blonde frowned, his pouty lips curling down attractively before the sweetest smile overtook them. "I'm going to see Ciel~." And with that, all his anger washed away and was replaced with a mischievous joy.
After recalling his plans, the bipolar blonde began merrily bounding to his target's new apartment. Dodging several cars and even more people-most of which shouted curses at him for almost bumping into them-he finally made it to the complex. "Such lovely buildings, really. Lucky bastard and his trust fund." The male headed over to the correct building, sprinting up three flights of stairs until he skidded to a stop on the correct floor. His eyes scanned over the numbers on the doors as he slowly made his way down the hall, stopping in front of a red one labeled '317A'. He scoffed, the numbers on the gaudy door reminding him of trashy motels.
He reached out his hand, slim fingers playfully brushing over the doorhandle as he gave it a testing twist. "Ah, unlocked! Ooh, Ciel, you trusting slut."
Silently, he pushed the door ajar and stepped inside, careful to be as silent as was possible for the blonde. Shutting the door with a soft click, he spun around in shock at the sudden sound of peeling laughter. His hands clutched at his heart and his eyes widened, darting around as if expecting a maniac to jump out at him. After calming down and realising that the laughter, while somewhat unstable, sounded like Ciel's, he shook his head. He made his way to the study door, which had been left cracked open. Peeking inside the room, he noticed the blae-haired male doubled over in his seat. He took a moment to muse about how the computer chair seemed to loom over the tiny male, dwarfing his small frame. The blonde pushed the door completely open, placing his left hand on his hip and cocking them slightly. A small scowl formed on his lips as he raised a brow, hating that he obviously missed the joke.
"What's so fucking funny?" He leaned against the doorframe casually, eyes travelling over the barely unpacked room, from the stacks of boxes to the books jammed onto small shelves.
Ciel looks up, breathing harshly and trying to calm his laughter. Hardly surprised to find his best friend standing in his doorway (he was bound to show up some time anyway), he holds in his mirth as best he can as he informs the other with a shaking voice, "They want me... to be a doctor, Alois. My parents... DOCTOR... Me... doctor... parents..." he mumbles incoherently before once again getting swept away in his twisted amusement.
Alois freezes, aqua eyes staring stupidly at his friend's face. "Wait, what?" He blinks, processing the words over again. A tiny giggle leaves his lips. "Are they absolutely mental? You, a doctor. You?" His tiny giggles become shrieks of laughter at the absurdity of it all.
"That's... what I said..." Ciel forced out before whimpering giggles overtook him. "Fuck... F-FUCK, my sides. I'm dying." He fell onto the floor from his chair and began rolling around, the sharp pains in his sides building. Alois laughed even harder at the display and the thought of Ciel laughing himself into spasms of pain. "S-stop l-l-laughing, ass-hole. You're making me, agh..." The younger male was becoming red in the face from his strained breathing and building giggles.
"S-sorry, you just... look so fucking stupid..." Alois clutched at his waist, trying to contain his laughter as his own sides began to ache dully. "Ow," he chirped with a small giggle.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, the cacophony died down, leaving the two friends breathless and gasping for air. As normal breathing patterns were regained, Ciel sat up from his sitting position, frown marring the delicate beauty of his features. "I don't want to be a doctor."
Alois sprawled out next to his friend, propping his chin up on his fist. "Oh, I know baby. You don't have to be. You're gonna be a star, right?"
An unattractive snort coming from the younger male made Alois flinch. "Yes, and cows can actually speak our language. Oh, and penguins can fly!"
Alois scowled and punched Ciel in the leg. "Fuck your sarcasm. Why are you so bitter?"
Sighing, the blae-haired male shook his head. "I have one month, Alois. One fucking month to get a spot, any spot, in a production. If I don't... well, it's either off to college to be a doctor-"
"Will you let me be your naughty nurse?" Alois piped up, shooting his friend a devious grin.
"Fuck you, no. And close your cocksucker, don't interrupt me." Ciel pinched the blonde's cheek roughly.
"Ow, okay. Pleathe continue, printheth," he lisped until his cheek was released. He rubbed the sore spot with a scowl and a huff, but stayed silent and looked at his friend expectantly.
Ciel refused to dignify being called princess with a comment, merely flipping Alois off before continuing his venting. "Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. Or they're going to disown me and cut off my trust fund, faster than I can say, and I quote "Will suck dick for food." I mean, as if. I suck dick for free, I'm not a prostitute."
Alois barked out a laugh. "Dude, you are so gay. Seriously. But that's so fucked up." He rolled onto his back and looked up at the white cieling. "Your parents have got to be part Dementor or something. Did you tell them to choke on a bag of assholes?"
"Fuck you, you know I didn't. I had to agree to their terms," Ciel rolled his eyes and huffed. "Harry Potter called; he wants his soulless, joy-suckers back."
"Psh, you would fuck me," Alois declared flippantly, poking his friend in the nose.
"You wish I would, but my dick is going nowhere near that gaping hole. Wouldn't want to get sucked that blackhole."
"Oh, so mean. Why am I your friend again?" Alois feigned hurt, draping an arm over his forehead and twisting his features into an agonized expression.
"Because you're a masochist, duh. Now quit bitching and tell me about what you've been up to."
Alois let the masochist comment slide, and latched onto his chance to get the wheel rolling. "Well, if you would stop being such a hermit, you would know. I swear, as soon as you graduated you disappeared right off the face of the earth. Like, do you know how fucking hard it was to find your stupid ass? It was so much easier to just get you from school and make you do stupid shit with me," the blonde whined, sitting up and practically draping himself over Ciel.
"Fuck off, you expect me to pity you? Who was the one who only showed up when he wanted to but could never be found otherwise? After you graduated, you went off to start doing whatever the fuck it is you've been doing. Which I don't even know because you still haven't told me."
Alois stuck out his tongue. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here. So don't get all butthurt and stop trying to argue with me." He cleared his throat and continued as if nothing had happened. "I went to this audition the other day, and most parts were filled up, except for two. And I wanted the lead, but for some reason those dicks couldn't see my genius. But I did score the other role."
"Oh, you poor baby. You didn't get the role you wanted but you still got a role?" Ciel rubbed his thumb and forefinger together. "The world's smallest violin is weeping for you."
"Fuck you," Alois slapped Ciel's hand, a devious smirk playing over his lips. "Will you let me finish?" Ciel merely nodded, stifling his laughter. "Okay, so I happened to realise while reading through the script that you would be perfect for the starring role. I'm so serious Ciel, with your skills... And it's still not filled! They can't seem to find the right person for the role." Alois stopped and sucked in a breath, staring at Ciel's blank expression with exhasperation. "Don't you see? This could be your big break! And it's within your deadline, so you can say "fuck you, fancy pants doctor school and Dementor parents" and be in a major production."
"I don't know, Alois... What is it, exactly?" Ciel chewed on his bottom lip, tilting his head to the side slightly.
"It's going to be a tv series of some insanely popular manga. You have to audition, seriously. Don't pass up this chance because you're too big a pussy to even try."
"I'm not a pussy," he stated, his mind already moving a mile a minute, mulling over his options. He released the hold his teeth had on his lower lip, the flesh now red from the abuse. "Well, it's not like I can expect anything this good to fall in my lap again... I suppose trying out wouldn't hurt."
"YES! You won't regret this!" Alois squealed and latched onto his friend, gripping him in a tight embrace, before releasing him and digging a worn slip of paper out of his pocket. "The address and times for the next set of auditions is on this. I know you can do this, your acting skills are amazing! I mean, you did best me and get all the leading roles in every play we did together in school. So why would that change now?"
Ciel smiled sheepishly and clutched the paper in his hands, shaking his head. "Thanks, I guess."
"Just don't be late, babycakes. Or I'll kick your ass," Alois threatened lightly.
"HAH! As if. Your pansy ass couldn't even hurt a fly."
"Eww, like I would touch one of those disease ridden pests." Alois scrunched up his face in distaste before hopping to his feet. "I have to go, this is really the only thing I came here for. I have shit to do. Ciao, Ciel baby." And with that, Alois strutted from the room and exited the apartment, smile on his face. "That was easier than I thought..." Out came his phone and he quickly typed in a number before bringing it up to his ear. "Hello, Mr. Director? Yeah, I found the perfect person to be your lead. He'll definitely be at the next audition." He paused, listening to the other speak. "You'll know him when you see him. Oh, and speaking of auditions, I have the best idea ever..." a devious smirk twisted his lips, plans forming in his brain. Ciel worked stupendously under pressure. If he could just get the head honcho to agree to try it his way...
Ciel unfolded the paper and stared down at it, memorizing the address and date. He would need a resume and would have to perform a scene of his choice in front of the director, assistant director, and various producers. It didn't seem very high pressure, which calmed his nerves. "I guess it's time to study up on Black Butler..."
E/N: I wanted to say here, that Street-fighting Mathematics is ACTUALLY a course that a college offers. I was quite surprised, but I was looking for some weird ass math class, and I was not disappoint. Anyway, if you notice any updates but no new chapters, I'm just going through and doing what I should have done a long time ago: rereading, fixing shit spelling, grammar, and changing or adding things.
Also, about my use of the word fag/faggot... I really hope that this does not offend any of you. In my experience, friends always seem to call each other names that would in other contexts be considered hurtful. I do it with my friends, even with my family members, because we're so very close and have that kind of relationship. My mum is not only my mum, but she is my best friend, and it's a good relationship to have. Another reason I use such words that can be considered hurtful and offensive is because, in all honesty, they are just words. When you let the words of others hurt you, you're surrenduring your power to them. You're giving the words the power to cause you harm, but I will tell you something: your power is yours, and yours only. Don't let something have such a hold over you, it isn't fair to yourself. Yes, words can and do hurt, I will not sugar-coat it; but it's up to you to decide if you're going to continue and let them rule you. Faggot/fag used to offend me, very deeply. It hurt me so badly to hear people using that word, but then I realised something. Words are just sounds that we make, formed together and given meaning. They have so many meanings, they are versatile and can be used in any context. If it sounds to you like a word is being used as a weapon, then by all means get offended, get pissed, and set the user of the word straight. But it isn't healthy for you to let a word hurt you so badly, even when it's not used in that kind of context. By banning the usage of words because they are offensive, we're giving those words so much power; we're making them out to be more hurtful, making them into weapons, and that isn't good for anyone. I am all for the free usage of any words, so long as we're not using them as weapons or to be spiteful. Another point I want to make is, you can't control other people; you can't filter what they say or don't say, or even what they're thinking. We all have free will, we all can say what we want.
As for my usage of these words, if they do offend you, then I am sincerely sorry, but I will not stop using them. These words don't deserve my power, they don't deserve your power, either. I will use them as I see fit, but never to hurt someone. I do hope that you'll understand, but I'm not going to filter myself either. I'm not going to change myself for anyone.
Sorry for going off on a tangent, but thanks for reading this story (and my little rant, if you did), I truly appreciate every single person who reads this and/or reviews.