AN: This story was written at two am after I sat myself down and forced myself to write through my writers block. Hopefully it will kick-start the creative juices and I can finally update my multi-chapter stories.
And if you think this might be good enough to expand let me know and I'll do my best.
Disclaimer: I own nothing that is recognizable!
"Sherlock, what did you do to the pans?" No answer.
"And the stove?" Still no answer.
"And all the edible food?" The silence was deafening.
Giving a huff John wandered into the living room where a- completely absorbed and in no way purposefully ignoring John- Sherlock was sitting working on his website.
"Sherlock? Did you hear me?" When still no response was forth coming John threw up his hands and stalked over to the door.
"Fine. You starve, I'm going out." Grabbing his jacket the doctor stormed out.
Deciding to walk off his huff he headed to a nearby park, all the while muttering unflattering things about flatmates, too much take-out and CCTV cameras.
Halfway through his second lap he finally calmed enough to realize that he was still hungry, and more so now than before since he had been burning a lot of energy with his angry pacing.
Giving an internal smirk at a sudden idea, he really didn't want whoever was manning the ever watching CCTV cameras to notify Mycroft too soon, John headed for the nearest tube station- and made himself disappear.
It wasn't too hard a skill to master, especially not when he'd been doing it since he was a teenager, and within an hour he was completely off the radar, standing in the alleyway behind his destination, silencing a rather complicated looking alarm system and breaking into an upscale flat.
Once inside he immediately headed to the kitchen and started raiding the fridge, loading up a plate with leftover chinese food and pizza. The cocking of a gun just behind him didn't even make him flinch.
"Why Johnny-boy! To what do I owe this unexpected visit?" Turning slowly, plate in one hand pizza in the other, John gave his erstwhile 'host' an honest answer.
"I was hungry and Sherlock destroyed the kitchen and all our food. I didn't think you'd mind if I raided your leftovers." Taking a bite of the pizza slice he was holding for emphasis, John stared down the gun wielding madman in front of him.
"And just how did you know where I live? Not even the Iceman knows that." Swallowing his mouthful, as he had been taught not to talk with his food in his mouth, the blonde decided on the best way to answer.
"You're a genius, figure it out." With that he turned back to the open refrigerator, grabbed a bottled water and headed into the sitting room to turn on the TV; all the while completely ignoring the gun pointed at him- as well as the flabbergasted expression worn by the gun holder.
Finding an unexpected Doctor Who marathon John settled in. When another plate wielding person sat on the other end of the couch he didn't even look up.
By the time the Doctor's companion, Rose, was scattering 'Badwolf' all across time and space the, until then silent, brunette couldn't take it anymore.
"The Holmes boys are at each others throats because you've completely vanished. You circumnavigated all my security- if I hadn't heard you shifting plates and utensils I would never have known you were here, which I think you did on purpose." Waiting to see if his almost question would be answered he continued when he was sure it wouldn't be.
"You have talents and skills I never knew about, and which it seems that even Sherly was ignorant of." When still no response was offered he shifted closer on the three seater.
"Your not an amature Johnny, I can see that, but just where did you learn such things and how have you kept it all a secret this long?" When amused blue eyes finally met his own dark ones Jim knew his answers wouldn't come just for the asking.
"How about a game Jimmy? You like games don't you?" Teased John, completely at ease in the psychopath's presence.
"And just what are the rules to this game Johnny?" Jim pressed, intrigued anew by the doctors complete relaxation in his presence- no-one was ever at ease around him after all, he made quite sure of that- as well as the proposal of a game.
"It's simple: you make guesses about my past, if you're right then I remove a piece of clothing, if you're wrong you have to remove an article of clothing and the last one still wearing something gets to top." John smirked at the flummoxed expression on the highly feared criminal's face.
"Just relax Jimmy, I'll even give you a freebie because I'm still wearing my jacket and you're not." John's smile widened further as an appreciative and calculating gaze swept over him.
"No tricks now Johnny, Daddy will know if you lie." Jim said while thinking of all the dirty things he could do to this man, he would completely ruin him to the point that Sherly could never again look at his blogger.
"Of course. And if you happen to lose I promise to fill in all the blanks for you regarding my past- after I've had my way with you of course. Deal?" Holding out his hand he waited for the other to come back down to earth.
"Deal." Shaking the offered hand Jim shook off the deliciously distracting thoughts of all the nasty little things John might want to do to HIM.
Looking John up and down Jim decided on how to start.
"You're not gay, you're bi."
"That isn't a question about my past." John smirked as he reminded the brunette about the rules.
"And you said I got a freebie." Jim countered and was pleased when the blonde removed his jacket.
The game bounced back and forth for several minutes until they were both in only their pants and everything was riding on the next question.
Jim had learned a lot about the good- or not-so-good, as the case may be- doctor: the man had first broken the law at an early age, was completely self-taught, had been caught once but never arrested and had joined the army to try and turn his life legit.
And for the life of him, the more he knew the more confusing the man became!
He had one question left before a winner was decided, and he really didn't know what to ask in order to win.
"Ticktock Jimmy, we might have all day but I'd rather be doing something... more fun." John prompted while running his eyes over Jim's exposed chest.
"Fine." Jim groused.
"You planned this whole encounter." The moment the words left his mouth, and glee lit up the blondes eyes, Jim knew he had lost.
Removing his pants he sat and waited for John to collect his prize, he WAS a man of his word after all.
The caressing hand on his back he expected, the gentle kiss to his jaw wasn't.
"Get dressed Jimmy, I never said it would happen right away." All the criminal master mind could do was watch as his unexpected house guest replaced his clothes and made to leave.
"I'll collect on our wager some other time, perhaps when you're not so sore about having lost. Until then..." Leaning over the still naked brunette, John placed a soft kiss on his lips and then pulled away.
"...I'll just have to entertain myself with the pretty image you make without your pants." Leaving the way he had come in, John headed back to his life of being an ordinary citizen. Though he couldn't help but toss a last sentence over his shoulder.
"And I'm telling Sherlock that you kidnapped me for lunch since he wouldn't feed me." As Jim began to laugh John headed home with a smile of his own stretched across his features.