Junshin
by Ekai Ungson

disclaimer: uh. Kaitou St. Tail is owned and created by the beautiful Miss Megumi Tachikawa. All characters used without permission.

note: uh. My first Saint Tail fic, so be kind. It's been a long time since I actually watched Saint Tail. I remember looking at FF.n's anime fic list for it but I never saw it 'til recently so I suppose it's a recent acquisition. ^-^

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I look in a mirror and I see myself, but then when I ask myself who I am there is no answer.

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You stand on the other side of the line. We do not see eye to eye, and we never will. You cannot accept my reasons for being, why I do the things I do. You are enamored by the night that surrounds my existence, drunken by the mystery I exude. You see nothing of me but the edges of light I immerse myself in. I am a silhouette against the moon. I am faceless, nameless, darkness, and made of edged light. And to you, that is beautiful.

Am I beautiful to you?

Your determination astounds even me. You follow my footsteps and the sound of my voice to capture me. What for? Do you try because it is what you were born to do, or do you try because you are in love with me? Me, the nameless, faceless creature of the night. You are in love with me. And, don't you know, I am in love with you, too.

Am I beautiful to you?

I look in a mirror and I see everything you are enamored with, the veil that covers my face, the fog that never lifts. I look in a mirror and I cry.

I cry because it is *her* you are in love with. It is her, not *me*. We are not the same, but we are one person.
I am her, she is me. But we are not each other.

The mirror breaks with my tears. My hands are bloody. My knuckles sting.

Am I beautiful to you?

I struggle with my feelings because my feelings are the direct opposite of what my duty is. It is a war between myself and her when you run after me, and I fight with myself because I so want to fall into your arms, and rest there for all eternity. But you are forbidden to me, as I am forbidden to you.

Besides, it is not *me* you love.

It is *her*.

It hurts me.

Am I beautiful to you?

I will run, and I will hide. I will continue with this life I lead, because I have no choices, no alternatives. You will run after me, you will chase me, try to capture me. I will watch, I will wait, I will cry.

You are not in love with me.

You are in love with the night.

Watashi wa kirei desu ka?



~Owari.

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notes: yeps. i know it's confusing. i was going for meimi-angst-with-saint-tail-against-ness-and-asuka-jr.-complications. i see i've managed the complicated bit but i dunno if this makes any sense. must edit. i like it but i don't like it that much. argh, i gotta rewatch the series.

questions, rants, violent reactions, email me, it's hikari_yagami20@yahoo.com. i'm new at this and i haven't seen kaitou st. tail in 5 years. CCS is easier. mouuu.

'junshin' is one of kaitou saint tail's ending songs. it's a beautiful song. and yes, the line 'watashi wa kirei desu ka?' is from that song. three guesses to what it means. ^-^