"Right then, name?"


"Uh-huh. So, why do you want to work in manufacturing?"

"Oh, I just love manufacturing things!"

"What kind of things?"

"Umm...well, you know, turrets, panels...portal guns...lemons..."

"...right, umm...why do you think you would be a good candidate for the job?"

"Because I am competent, I'm dilligent, I'm strong, I'm smart...!"

"Umm...it says here your full name is 'Wheatley, the Intelligence Dampening Sphere.'"

"Oh, that's just...the name I chose when I went through Ellis Island."

"Ellis Island closed in the 1950s."

"Yeah, I had to keep a low profile after that. Because I was using...fake identities! I'm a refugee from Japan!"

"...Ellis Island serves the Atlantic Ocean. Japan is across the Pacific. Also, you have a pretty distinct British accent."

"I'll have you know it's actually English West Country!"

"And I can't help but notice you don't have any hands."

"...oh, so you're prejudiced because I don't have hands! You think that the fact that I'm a big blue ball with no hands means I don't have the qualifications for this job?"

"Well actually...you might not be comfortable in this work environment given every single one of us is a robotic arm...?"

"Oh. Right, I guess that's true."

"Look, buddy, I can't really help you, we were just going to build a duplicate of me for this job. I'd recommend checking out the levels higher up for a job."

"Umm...ok then. See you some other time, maybe?"

"Yeah yeah...what a moron."