Notice: All author's notes will be at the bottom of each chapter (if there are any at all). If you are against homosexuality, this is your warning that there will be content of that nature in this fanfiction (also known as SLASH). Don't like, don't read. I try to make my stories very detailed and as such makes them very explicit. There will be OOC (Out Of Character) moments, slight AU (Alternate Universe) because of the timeline, and a lot of sweet moments. I am a romantic. Read at your own risk.
Disclaimer: All aspects of the Harry Potter novel and movies are sole property of J.K. Rowling.
Rating: M+ for mature and audiences 18 and older. This story will contain violence, abuse, explicit sex, and gore.
Timeline Warnings: This will not follow the books or movies. Basically, a bit of AU, but I will try to keep everyone in character as much as possible.
Main Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Minor Pairings(s): Remus Lupin/Sirius Black; Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Malfoy; Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger
BETA: None. All mistakes are my own. Will be revised once finished, though I do, do a read through before posting.
Word Count: 3,107 words.
Summary: Severus is a veela and Harry is his mate who is convinced by his relatives that he's nothing more than a freak. Can Severus heal the damage done? What about Voldemort?
1. A person or animal on exhibition as an example of a strange deviation from nature;
Chapter I – Secrets
Severus Snape had a secret. He was a very rare creature in the wizarding world; a veela. But aren't veela supposed to be beautiful and full of grace? Well, glamor charms do wonders, but the grace is something you can't really hide. Haven't you ever seen him brew and watch the way he walks? There's no way his robes billow about naturally.
Speaking of our favorite Potions Master, he was currently sitting in his living quarters at Hogwarts, sitting in his favorite winged back chair. A still half full glass of fire whiskey was sitting in his hand as he pondered about his life.
"I should have found him by now,"he thought broodingly, taking another sip from his drink before swirling it around in his glass.
"Perhaps he saw me, figured it out and rejected me without the confrontation? Maybe he died in the first war…?" The veela inside his mind growled and a sharp pain went through his heart, but roared back.
"Impossible! You would have smelt him, and if he had died, we'd cease to exist!," A short pause, "Perhaps he hasn't become of age yet?"
"Could I be mated to one so young? It has been almost 20 years since I came into this insufferable inheritance!"
"It has happened before. You could possibly know our little mate and not even realize it."
It was the same old argument Severus has had with himself since he turned sixteen. Since that day, he's never been able to get the thought of his mate out of his head. At first, he thought maybe he was mated to a girl, and was horrified. How would that work? He'd never been interested in girls in such a way, regardless of what people thought of his feelings towards Lily Potter. But after some research on his kind, to his great relief, he would be mated to a person that balanced him in every way and would be able to love unconditionally.
While the thought of his mate always left him feeling alone and more temperamental than normal, the thoughts of the upcoming school year was annoying him even more. For years he's had to play the act as the mean old potions professor, and he was becoming tired of it.
Of course he loved his potions, but to single a group out? Hell, a boy? The boy?
The grip on his glass tightened before he took a sip.
A boy he was forced to hate, and by Merlin if it didn't tear him up inside. Once the war was over, and if he survived it, he planned on explaining everything to the young man. Sure, it was easy to feel a small dislike for the boy as his father had bullied him during his own school days, but to act so cruel to a child who didn't even give him a reason to hate the boy made Severus himself no better than his childhood bullies.
Though, he didn't always feel too bad about yelling at the brat when he blew up a cauldron.
Downing the rest of the fire whiskey in his glass, Severus stood to head to his bed chamber and turn in for the night. After all, it wouldn't do anyone any good to have the already normally grumpy potions master in a foul mood if he didn't get enough sleep for the next day when the students arrive.
Just before Severus Snape fell asleep, a tiny spark of hope in his heart flared a little brighter at finding his mate this year.
Meanwhile, the Boy Who Lived was sitting, hunched over to hug his knees in his cramped cupboard. Even though Harry was still one of the shortest boys of his class, he had still out grown the only room he had known for the past fifteen years. He was so glad that he was finally sixteen. It was his last summer at the Dursley's as he was now going to be considered as an adult in the wizarding world.
Tomorrow he was going to go back to Hogwarts and finally feel a little normal.
"But you're not normal. You're a freak." His thoughts just seemed to sigh in acceptance.
Not only that, but he would be able to have his trunk back which meant he would be able to take the pain and numbing potions he had made before he left school. Just thinking about the foul tasting liquids almost caused Harry to whimper with want.
His body was shaking with pain as he tried to make himself as small as possible and take slow breaths. His stomach and back hurt from the bruises that seemed to reach his bones. He was pretty sure the broken wrist and finger he had gotten at the beginning of the summer had healed wrong because they continued to throb in pain if he moved them. He knew his ankle was sprained, but he was use to that considering it happened at least once every summer. Harry's chest and stomach ached unbearably, but be couldn't tell if it was because of the deep dark bruises or hunger. The worst pain though were the words "FREAK" carved into his wrist. If it hadn't been for his Aunt Petunia shrieking about how his blood was going to stain her floors, his uncle probably wouldn't have even bothered to give him a rag to press against the heavily bleeding cuts.
The cuts on his back from the buckle of his uncle's belt were still slowly bleeding. The blood causing a tickling sensation across his skin and if that wasn't bad enough, the slightly older ones itched like hell. He tightened his hold on his knees to keep from scratching them, learning from a young age how he could just make it worse if they got infected.
The only good thing about his summer was his sixteenth birthday. Though he wouldn't receive any presents like last year since he left Hedwig at Hogwarts. He simply said that they could give them his gifts at the start of the year. Like always, he stayed awake and waited until midnight, but unlike all his other birthdays he felt his magic pulsing, almost as if it was reaching out for something or someone. Harry Potter fell asleep that night to the feeling of his magic swirling around him like a caress. The next morning, he quickly realized that he no longer needed his glasses and that his hair had grown a little longer to where it was now shaggy looking, but at least it was tamable.
Harry was startled from his light doze when a fist pounded on the door of his cupboard. "Get up, you filthy freak! Have breakfast ready in half an hour or you're walking to that freak school of yours!"
Knowing the threat was good; Harry quickly scrambled to the door of his cupboard and got out as he heard the locks being released from their holds. Stepping out, he took a shallow breath of fresh air. The cupboard always became suffocating with the heat during the summer. Limping, he made his way to the kitchen and washed his hands before starting to cook the breakfast feast for his relatives.
As he cooked, Harry couldn't help but think of what might come of this new school year. Like every year, he got a small ball of excitement in his stomach and had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.
Thoughts of Ron and Hermione were a given as he remembered his hot tempered, ginger haired friend and the pushy, know-it-all, but he still loved them. But even as he thought of his friends, he couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness as well. He knew that Ron liked Hermione and was planning to ask her out; well, if she didn't just snog his face off first. He mentally rolled his eyes at how clueless Ron could be sometimes.
If he really thought about it, he supposed that his sadness was actually the small fear that they would forget about him, and he would be the third wheel. He, himself, didn't have anyone like Ron had Hermione. But then again, not many people knew he was gay either.
Harry could remember the fear of telling his two best friends of his preferences as if it were yesterday.
"Harry? What's wrong?" asked Hermione as she gently took a seat beside him on the sofa next to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. It was deserted this time of night, most people in bed but as he looked over and away from the fire, he noticed Ron was sitting in a chair on his other side, having apparently gotten Hermione once he noticed Harry wasn't in bed.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing." Harry said distracted. In all reality, Harry had been rather restless, trying to think of a way to tell his friends he was gay for the past few weeks.
"Harry…" Hermione sighed and looked over at Ron. Ron gave the bushy haired girl a concerned look and nodded. They had been trying to think of a way to get Harry to open up to them, but so far the courageous Gryffindor had been keeping his mouth shut and it was worrying them. Something had Harry scared and worried and it only made them feel the same.
"Harry, mate. We know something has been on your mind." Ron said gently. The way Ron was acting so out of character snapped Harry out of his thoughts and caused him to actually look at his friends closely. They both looked tired with worry. Worry over him. The pain in his heart told him that he didn't deserve such care from his friends. He was just being a freak after all.
"I-I just…" Harry stammered and let out a sigh of frustration. How in the hell am I supposed to tell them I like men?!
Hermione slowly reached over and took Harry's hand, "Harry, you can tell us anything. It's okay. What's on your mind?"
Gently biting his lower lip Harry looked down at his lap and there was a moment of hesitation. Just when Ron and Hermione thought he wasn't going to say anything, a small whisper broke the silence, "I'm gay."
Harry expected Hermione to pull back her hand in disgust and Ron to explode into a fit of rage, but instead, all he felt was a gentle squeeze of Hermione's hand in his and a firm claps on his shoulder from Ron, causing him to look up at his friends.
"Oh, Harry, you're gay? Is that all you wanted to tell us?" Hermione asked; a sweet smile on her face. Harry couldn't help but notice how Ron's smile widened when he looked at Hermione.
Instead of saying anything, Harry just nodded slowly, not really trusting his voice at the moment. "Oh, that's just adorable Harry! Is there a boy you like? Is he in our year? It's not one of Ron's brothers is it?"
"I hope it's not Neville. He'd blush so hard; he'd get a nose bleed." Ron snorted.
Harry looked back and forth between his friends and couldn't help but laugh. Ron and Hermione shared a look of happiness, glad to have made Harry smile a real smile for the first time in what felt like forever.
"No, guys, I don't have anyone in mind at the moment. I just… Know I like blokes." Harry shrugged, squeezing Hermione's hand in thanks and smiling over at Ron. "Maybe being gay isn't a freak thing…"
Ever since the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Ron had been a lot better at accepting everything Harry did once Hermione made him realize that Harry was actually just a typical shy boy who just wanted to be normal. Out of everyone he knew, it seemed only Ron and Hermione understood that about him. "It also explains why he sometimes acts like a little kid." Ron thought, amused, after talking with Hermione.
"So you guys really don't mind?" Harry asked, just to be sure.
"Nah, mate! I don't know much about muggles, but here in the wizarding world, being gay isn't uncommon. Hell, Percy is gay!" Ron laughed, clapping Harry on the shoulder one more time.
"While being homosexual is often considered taboo with muggles, it is very common here, Harry. Trust me, there is nothing to worry about, and you know we still love you." Hermione said happily. Harry went to bed that night with a smile on his face.
Harry had lied to them a little bit that day. He did have someone he was interested in, but he knew the other person could never love him back so he kept it to himself. But then again, telling them he was gay was hard enough. How was he supposed to tell them that he thought his potions professor was beautiful as well? He could just imagine Ron's face! Twisted with disgust but also trying to show his support. It almost made Harry let out a small chuckle.
It had started out with Harry respecting the man. He learned after first year that Snape was trying to save him and had succeeded in saving him several times throughout the years. Next, he started to notice smaller things about Snape. Like how he would bite the inside of his lip as he cut potion ingredients as if it helped him concentrate, how his hands were big and his fingers long and slender, and how he would always have a cashmere wood type smell to him despite how long he would spend standing over a cauldron. Finally, it ended with Harry being able to say that he cared about the man. Even though he thought that Snape hated him because of his father, he was starting to suspect that it was an act. After all, he did go to school with children whose parents were death eaters.
Ever since he told Hermione he was gay, she had started confiding in him with her feelings about Ron. Despite the fact that he had told her more than once that just because he was gay didn't mean he was a "gal pal" as she happily informed him. But, of course, being Hermione, she just waved her hand dismissively and told him how she felt. But the more she spoke about her feelings, the more worried he was becoming. He'd never experienced anything like she was describing! He had never been around someone who had made his knees weak (unless you count the time Snape had scared the shit out of him by speaking from behind him while he was trying to make a potion), or made his heart go crazy in his chest (except that time Snape had stared at him like he was trying to look into his soul when teaching him occlumency).
The more he heard of it, the more he craved to have the same feeling Hermione had. To be honest, he was a little envious of her and the love she had for Ron. In the end, he guessed it had something to do with his freakishness.
Harry finished putting all the food on the table and started to do the dishes just as his relatives came in to eat. Aunt Petunia sniffed, obviously disappointed that she didn't have an excuse to have Vernon give the boy a good smack.
Once he finished, he stood at the sink, facing his "family" and kept his eyes lowered to the floor. He knew better than to watch them eat. He hadn't been fed in two days and he was hoping that they'd give him something, anything, before he had to leave.
"Go get your trunk boy and meet me at the car." His Uncle Vernon said gruffly as he stuffed another slice of bacon in his mouth. Harry guessed he had let his face slip because his uncle chuckled and continued, "What? Think we would give you food when you're going to get some at your freak school?" This caused his aunt and cousin to start laughing as well. Harry swallowed down his emotions and shook his head.
"No, sir. I'll go do as you said." Harry replied, his voice void of any emotion as he left the room.
Before Harry knew it, he was walking with Ron and Hermione, listening to them talk about their summer as they made their way to the Great Hall. He was happy that his friends had such a great summer, and he was feeling much better now that he had taken his potions. He just hoped the Welcoming Feast didn't take overly long; otherwise his potions would wear off before he could get to his dormitory.
"Wow, there sure are a lot of new first years this year!" Ron exclaimed in shock. And he was right. There was almost double the number of new students than there had been in their class.
Once the sorting was done, Ron whispered, "Hey, where's Snape?"
Harry also noticed his absence and was thinking the very same thing since he sat down. "Where is he? Is he okay? Will Dumbledo-?"
"Maybe Dumbledore will explain in his speech?" Hermione suggested, almost mimicking Harry's thoughts.
Just as Harry was nodding in agreement, a sharp pain started to flow through his body, signaling that the potions were wearing off. He missed when Hermione pointed at the professor's table to say that Snape had finally appeared in favor of closing his eyes and clenching his jaw to try to seem normal.
The pain was making him dizzy and his stomach twist. He let out a puff of air through his clenched teeth. Hermione noticed Harry's odd behavior while Ron noticed Snape staring at Harry with wide eyes and a look of disbelief on his features.
"Harry, are you alright? Do you need to go to the infirmary?" Hermione asked gently.
Even though Harry hated the infirmary, he nodded slowly. There was no way he was going to make it up to the dormitories, much less make it through dinner without causing a scene of him either getting sick or passing out and if he had to do either, he'd prefer it to do it where not everyone in the school was watching him.
Just as Ron and Hermione were helping him up, Harry opened his eyes and took a glance at the head table, or more specifically, Professor Snape. Without knowing why or that he was even capable, Harry made a small whine in the back of his throat.
As soon as that sound had been made, chaos erupted.
"They say freak when you're singled out…"
Author's Note: Okay, so this story is just something I felt like writing. I want to continue it, but I'm not sure if I should. I will be writing a couple more chapters, but feedback would be appreciated so I can figure out if I should continue the story. Thank you for reading.