Insomnia is terrible company.
Insomnia is her only companion on the bad nights. When her mind won't settle and her haunting memories sneak into the forefront of her mind, escaping the confines of that dark corner she keeps them in during the day.
She likes the days better now that she isn't so alone.
Before, when she'd shut herself away, there was nobody to talk to and just a biting loneliness that she now knows was part of the reason for her powers being so horribly out of control.
Starved of love she was little more than a destructive mass. She may as well have been possessed for all the damage she unwittingly caused. Thankfully though, it was only furniture, floorboards and wallpaper that were on the receiving end of the biting cold.
Elsa frowns to herself then rolls onto her side.
Anna would never agree to such a statement as 'may as well have been possessed'. Even now, she won't admit that her elder sister is dangerous, no matter what she's done or what she's said to the contrary. It's both frustrating and damnably heart-warming.
Anna's faith in her sister is what gets the Queen through her most stressful days and though she knows it's not entirely unbiased, Anna is her sister after all, she still can't help but hope it never fades. Anna is her rock in a way. She keeps her from slipping too far into dark thoughts.
… Except at night.
Which is why Elsa prefers the day now. Anna is there with Olaf, that strange smelling creature and then Sven too of course.
Alright, Kristoff doesn't smell strange, more like... unhygienic.
But at least he's got his heart in the right place... even if his soap seems to be frequently misplaced.
Elsa sighs to herself then rolls onto her back again and massages the bridge of her nose as a dull headache forms.
"When did sleeping begin requiring effort?" She murmurs.
Elsa jolts so violently that she nearly falls out her bed.
Frost coats the blanket as her hands clench tightly around it and her wide eyes narrow into a stern glare as her sister giggles.
"Anna!... Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She mutters but the copper-haired girl remains cheerful as she draws Elsa's quilt back and slips beneath it. Elsa raises a brow at her as her heart slows and she regains her composure before she lies back beside Anna with another soft sigh.
Silence reigns for a short while before Elsa moves onto her side to face her sister.
"What brings you to my room then?... Besides scaring me half to death that is," She asks and from the look on Anna's face she'd probably be doing that odd foot shuffling thing because her brow knits and she suddenly looks quite uncertain. Elsa waits patiently.
"You've been tired recently," Anna says quietly. "And I thought that maybe you weren't sleeping very well so I decided I'd come and see if you were awake and then I heard you mumbling to yourself so I didn't really think to knock and just walked in. You must've been thinking really hard because you didn't notice me at all and I wasn't even trying to be quiet and-... I just did the rambling thing again, didn't I?"
Anna blushes with embarrassment, her eyes averted, and Elsa smiles at her, her gaze twinkling with amusement.
"Sorry," Anna replies.
"It's fine..." Elsa says instantly, her hearted warmed. "I think I needed that really."
Anna peers at her thoughtfully, her blue eyes shining as the moonlight reflects in them. Anna is often underestimated in terms of intelligence but she knows people far better than Elsa does. Years of solitude does that to a person. Then again, Anna didn't really have anybody either yet she seems to have a knack for it.
More so since she and Elsa started opening up to each other more.
"... What's bothering you, Elsa?" She asks quietly and her sister finds herself unable to hold that piercing gaze and this time she is the one to avert her eyes.
"Nothing important," She replies before looking back and Anna pouts.
"Don't use that tone on me, little sister. You have no authority," Elsa says with a teasing and slightly smug smirk.
"I'll have plenty of authority if I tickle you enough to make you cry," Anna states with an even smugger smirk of her own.
Elsa blinks. Unnerved by the threatening tone.
"I'd say 'you wouldn't' but I really think you would," She says honestly and Anna grins then grasps one of her cool hands in both her own. Anna's hands are warm and reassuring, clumsy but warm.
"So... tell me what's bothering you," Anna urges and Elsa is quiet for a moment and all her previous humour wanes as she looks down at their hands then curls her other over Anna's.
"... I thought I'd lost you," She murmurs and her sister frowns deeply. "When Hans told me you'd died... I thought that everything I'd done, all the solitude, all the loneliness, all the... emotional pain I caused... it suddenly wasn't worth it because I-..." Anna's grip tightens. "I still couldn't save you."
Elsa doesn't know how many times her voice cracks on that last part and she doesn't care to count but Anna scoots closer as traitorous tears slip free.
"Oh, Elsa... It's okay... We're all here. It's alright..." She murmurs, her eyes sharp with pain.
"What kind of big sister am I, Anna? I'm meant to keep you safe and it's you that ended up saving me! It's not meant to work like that..." Elsa explains as she brushes her tears away and she sniffles, her gaze still upon their hands. "In that moment, when you were a statue of ice, I'd lost the only person in the world who cared about me and who never gave up on me and I just-... I can't stop thinking about it."
Anna smiles gently at the platinum blond woman. It's a small and understanding smile, warm with affection.
"You know, Elsa, I lost my sister too... a long time ago..." She begins and Elsa's hands fidget around her sister's restlessly. "I suppose it's not quite the same though because she was still here but-... but it felt like she was gone sometimes."
"I'm so sorry, Anna..." Elsa says shakily, her voice barely audible.
"Don't be sorry... We're both here, aren't we?" Anna points out with a wider smile. "I saved you then you saved me... You might be my big sister but it's my job to look after you too."
Elsa returns her smile uncertainly and Anna slips a hand free then drapes it around the elder's waist before closing her eyes.
"Now... By order of the Princess of Arendelle, I demand you get some sleep or else I'll have you thrown in the dungeons."
Elsa's smile becomes a little less strained as she returns the embrace and closes her eyes. Anna is warm and alive and there, snuggling up to her just like she used to when they were children. She can't resist teasing her though.
"As if a dungeon could contain me," She says with confidence.
"It could... You know... if I asked you nicely not to break it."
Elsa chuckles lightly then kisses her younger sister's forehead. Anna knows her too well.
"Goodnight, Anna," She murmurs fondly.
"Goodnight, Elsa... Sleep well."
And she does.
Something that's probably been done a million times before yet I felt like writing anyway.
Thanks for reading.