They don't belong to me, they belong together*HINT HINT*... I mean they belong to Marvel

Parting Thoughts
Hika-chan
Chapter 5: As the Ship Sails - Katherine and Peter


I choke on a sob as you jumps onto the small craft. The cursed boat that takes you away from me. I am amazed that I can make out that much detail from here, especially with the bright and callous setting sun behind. You timed it damn near perfect too, didn't have to wait very long for the boat. It makes sense though, I would probably do the same. It doesn't give you time to chicken out or work up the courage... I'm not really sure which one it is. But the less time you have to make up your mind...

You're looking at me, I can tell, I can feel it. You don't even have to search for where I am. This dark and empty room, now only filled with smells and memories... And me, standing here by the window holding the curtain out of my view and your oldest most tattered trench coat in the other. The wind whips around your unruly black hair, making me think about how it was when I first saw you. A small part of me is happy that I can see you're not hiding from your emotions as you look at me this last time. My vision blurs and I blink so I can see you better, releasing the first of my tears.

***

I take a good long look back at what I'm leaving behind. Not Muir, I don't really give a damn about the Island aside from it bein' where I first met ya... well that and a few other choice mem'ries I'll be drowning in scotch and whiskey tonight. I'm lookin' back at you love. Just like yer lookin' at me. I gotta squint my eyes to see ya, what with the damned sunlight reflecting off the glass. It's odd really. I'm allowing myself to induldge in this last bit o'... longing, I suppose, fer ya and you... Yer face looks damn near blank, still tryin' to hold back those tears love?

You never did strike me as the type to cry in front o' others. Ya never did infront o' me I know that. Then again we always were happy weren't we...

We were happy... Bollocks Katherine what the fuck happened? Why did it have to be that lookin' at you know puts a lump in my throat and pain in my heart? Just as much as it does joy? Don' worry none love, let it out cry, scream, and kick all ya want. We're gonna need to work through this ourselves.. and alone.

Honestly ne'er thought I'd use that word to apply to me again, but I'll tell you I was damn scared that I would... and her I am, alone, again. But not yet, not while I'm still lookin' at you love. I can indulge for longer, as long as I can still see you. Go ahead an' cry Katherine, I won't tell no one. Somehow I see the orange light hit the first first tear sliding down yer cheek. There ya go love... let it all out, one o' us has to.

***

God Peter I am so sorry. Why do things have to be like this? Please stop, please come back. I'm begging you Peter. Now I realize I haven't been breathing and gasp and my tears flood. Somehow I know you see them and I don't give a bloody damn. Please don't leave me.

Peter? Where did you go?

Damn that sun! All I can see is your silhouette, like your riding off into the sunset like a damn cowboy. Except this is no spagetti western the two of us are laughing over. This is real and harsh and now I hate the setting sun that hides you from me. But I still watch you, crying, barely noticing the occasional taste of tears on my lips. But the sun sets, and you dissapear with it.. leaving me alone... in the dark.

One last please a hoarse whisper meant to be a scream, "please forgive me. please come back..."

***

I'm sorry I'm not younger, I'm sorry things turned out this way. I'm sorry I want you to hurt. I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm sorry I can't bring myself to tell you that dispite all this I still love you.

I'm sorry I'm such a coward Katherine.

I hope you can forgive me.

I hope when I do come back that it won't be too late.

I don't know what makes me so bloody certain, but I didn't say "If I come back..."



~*end*~












*Spoiler preview below*











Pete: don' worry you lot, happy endin' sequel's not far behind. knowin' Hika-chan she'll start writin' it after she gets to watch the new Buffy... the Yank can't get enough o' that Spike fella. Not that I blame 'er, bloke kinda reminds me o' me.

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I am going to kill Kurt. Thrusting me into the middle of all these desperate women. That's like throwing a bleeding person into a a feeding frenzy of sharks. Knowing my stupid luck (or lack thereof) the dumb bouquet is going to land in my lap and the great bloody russian is going to catch the garter. Oh that's too funny, I can't believe I referred to Piotr the same way Pete... the same way Pete used to. I can't help but smile a bit as I watch the fight for the bouquet. But I'm thinking about Pete.. and that's when it happens. The damn bouquet lands, almost literally in my lap. I am not at all surprised and my dull and bored expression shows it. "Figures."