AN: It took me a while but here's the next chapter. I think I'm lacking in the funny, though.

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato

Scene 19: Megumi - the Next American Idol

KENSHIN: (Covered in blood, guts, and lipstick while Aoshi is amazingly spotless, but missing his shirt and underpants. Not that we can tell.) O Geisha of Mou, we have brought the... ...(sigh) Yaoicon tickets, de gozaru. Can we go now?

HEAD GEISHA: Oh, these are nice tickets. They're seasonal tickets. I didn't even know there was a such thing as season Yaoicon tickets!

(AOSHI and KENSHIN exchange uneasy glances)

HEAD GEISHA: However, there is one small, itty bitty problem.

KENSHIN: What is that?

HEAD GEISHA: We are now... no longer the Geisha Who Say 'Mou'.


RANDOM GEISHA 2: OK, new rule. She's not allowed to speak anymore.

HEAD GEISHA: Shh! We are now the Geisha Who Say 'Ooo Eee Ooo Aah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang.' We also sing it in G minor and folk dance to it.


HEAD GEISHA: Therefore, we must give you a test.

KENSHIN: What is this test, O Geisha of-- Geisha who till recently said 'Mou'?

HEAD GEISHA: Firstly, you must find... another batch of Yaoicon tickets! (dramatic chord)

KENSHIN: ...I can't believe this.


KENSHIN: gozaru yo.

HEAD GEISHA: Then, when you have found the tickets, you must reserve us hotel rooms at Yurisuites, preferably close to the convention center and with conventional breakfast served every morning!

GEISHA: Ohh, conventional breakfast! Yes, yes!

HEAD GEISHA: Then, upon getting us our tickets and reservations, you must proceed to have hot man-on-man sex with your friend there. ...In front of live cameras and an audience. ...Using... THIS! (Holds up a whip)

GEISHA: ...Ooooooh!

KENSHIN: We shall do no such thing! (eyes flash)

HEAD GEISHA: Oh, please!

AOSHI: Screw him? I'll cut open my stomach first.

BATTOUSAI: Be glad to do that for you.

AOSHI: ...When did you get here?

BATTOUSAI: When my counterpart passed out cold. Kicks KENSHIN on the ground So...what's going on?

AOSHI: ...Long story short, they want us to screw each other on camera.

BATTOUSAI: I'm going to kill them all.

AOSHI: (dryly) And how.

BATTOUSAI: (Kills them. In one swing. Looks like something from Bleach) Done.

HEAD GEISHA: ...You killed my harem!

AOSHI: What?

HEAD GEISHA: (pulls off wig) I'm a man! You killed my harem! I was this close to getting some!

BATTOUSAI: ...And you were wanting us to...

HEAD GEISHA: They wanted it! I had to appease them!

AOSHI: And the Yaoicon tickets?

HEAD GEISHA: For them, too.

BATTOUSAI: Can I kill him?

AOSHI: Let me. You got to kill the rest.

BATTOUSAI: I'm the main character, though.

AOSHI: No, Kenshin is. You're just a schizophrenic counterpart.

BATTOUSAI: I am not.

AOSHI: My... leige--err, Oh, hell, someone wake Kenshin up. Bird-brain's back.

(BATTOUSAI douses KENSHIN with water then leaves. AOSHI takes time to kill HEAD GEISHA-MAN-PERSON)

KENSHIN: What? Huh? ...Hey, my ass doesn't hurt. That's a good thing, right?

SANO: ...What?

MEGUMI: (singing) Kumbaya, My Lord. Kumbaya... Kumbaya, My Lord. Kumbaya...

AOSHI: What is she singing?

SANO: I don't know; I don't care; but it's immensely better than 'We Like to Party'. I have it stuck in my head now.

KENSHIN: Hey, my clothes are still on, too! All right!

AOSHI: Someone, please. Make him stop. Please.

KENSHIN: Anyway, Sano, did you find the grail?

SANO: Well, I--

MEGUMI: Tried so hard, and got so far! But in the end, HE RAN LIKE A COWARD.

SANO: Can I kill her, please?

AOSHI: Let's just go. Now.

KENSHIN: Yahiko! To the Kenmobile!

YAHIKO: (To SANO) I'll trade you.

SANO: ...I think I'll keep the singing bimbo, thanks.

MEGUMI: 99 red balloons go high!


MEGUMI: I'm leaving on a jetplane...

And We cut this scene before bloodshed of practicing doctors could occur.

(End Scene 19)

AN: Yeah, not too funny. But an update in just under a year! All right!

Maybe one day I'll bring laughs to this fiction again. Good news is that To Make a Difference is almost completely revamped.