Here you go lovely people, new stuffs. I'm basically rolling several of my story ideas into one here, so enjoy. OR ELSE.

So. . .I got nothin more to say. Just read and review.

My name is John. And I know you're expecting a sob story about how life hates me, how I never had anything, same old song and dance.
The truth is I had it pretty good. Stuff-wise, anyway, I had all the things and such I wanted. Well, I could have blown a few million in a music store or gun shop, but what 17 year old cant?
I suppose I had it pretty good in the family department too. I had parents who loved me and each other, and a good friend who was like a brother. I wasnt abused, neglected or anything, not by my family anyway. It was more that they payed too much attention to me. It was always what they needed and what i could be going to and where I should be in a few years. Too be honest it was rather smothering, confining, and downright annoying.
And while life and I don't quite like each other, we have funny ways of playing jokes on each other. I continue to live and laugh in the face of what life throws at me, life flips me off and does what it usually does: hit me with something so far outfield I would never have guessed it.
Which leads me to the story that you all want to read, and is quite frankly, awesome. Because how many can say they've been and done the things I've seen, how many can say they've been the hero to so many?
I'll never get used to that They call me hero, they still thank me every chance they get. They even built a statue of me, and while they didnt get the nose quite right, it was still a huge boost to my ego. But if you told me even a few months ago that my name would be known to millions as a hero, a savior, than I would have never believed you. And even if I did, if you told me that I wouldnt care, i would have called you crazy. I never would have seen the hero thing coming, but I always thought I would enjoy such things. But the truth is I don't, I mostly enjoy my privacy, peace and quiet.
But enough of my rambling, you want to hear my story. And so, it begins on a day much like every other late winter day in Alabama. A slight chill in the air, a brisk breeze, countered by a warm sun. Perfect weather on my opinion.
And so I was doing the best thing you can do on a day like that. I was stretched out on a hammock, clad in blue jeans and a white T-shirt, napping. Or trying too rather, I was too busy just thinking. What would be for dinner, what I would write for a new song, fantasies of flying. In other words how I usually passed the time.
I laid back in the hammock, staring up at the trees above me. A few clouds floated overhead, and a bird or two would occasionally fly past. In the distance I could hear the sounds of the highway, and a plane coming in to land at the airport. It kind of ruined the peace, to be honest.
I yawned and closed my eyes, settling deeper into the hammock in a quest for sleep. A breeze blew through the branches, startling a few birds, and then I fell asleep.

It felt like hours later I woke up. It was dark, and a cold wind whipped across my face. I yawned and blew my hair out of my eyes, thinking idly that I needed to get it cut. I didn't really feel like getting up, or even opening my eyes for that matter. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep. And so I yawned again, smacked my lips, and went to tuck my hands behind my head when I noticed two things.
One, I wasn't on a hammock anymore. I was lying on what felt like grass.
Two, and most disconcerting, I didn't have hands anymore. Instead, something hard, cold, but definitely mine hit me in the head.
That got me up and awake very quickly, even if I did fall over immediately. It was like I had too many legs, and that's exactly what the problem was. Instead of two arms and two legs, I had four legs, each ending with a hoof.

"A horse?" I whispered, looking down at my light blue chest, the same color as my jeans. Everything was different. My face was longer, a muzzle instead. My chest had changed, from a bipedal rib cage to that of an equine. My stomach was soft and furry, and my. . .well, you can imagine what else was rather startling. I was almost afraid I was a mare for a second, before remembering equine anatomy. Needless to say I felt very relieved and stupid at the same time.
I reached down and ran a hoof through my new tail, which I curled up over my stomach using muscles I never had before. It was soft, smooth, fluffy, and white, the same color as my shirt.

"I'm a bloody Technicolor talking horse. Great." I let myself fall over with a thump. Either I'm tripping the fuck out, or I'm dreaming, or simply gone insane.
I don't think I'm dreaming, I don't dream this vivid unfortunately, and the many times I have realized I'm dreaming, it woke me up. So not dreaming.
I don't think I'm tripping, either. You don't really see magical multicolored talking horses. Although that makes me wonder if humans are supposed to see said horses while high, do those same horses see humans if they get high?
(A/N my personal headcanon for Lyra.)

"And there's only one way to test if I'm dreaming. . ." I sighed.

"Well here goes." I flinched as I raised a hoof, and slammed it into my face. Needless to say it hurt, and I spent the next several minutes swearing loudly as I held my nose.

"Well. . .ow. . .not dreaming." I sighed, rubbing my abused muzzle gently.

"Great. Just perfect. Of course maybe being a horse wont be so bad. It couldnt be much worse than being human. Or maybe I'm just crazy. And you know what? If I'm crazy I'm going to enjoy this!" I yell, rolling around and waving my hooves. Then something strange, but kind of wonderful happened. It happened when I rolled onto a rock, and it jabbed into something that was both wrong and so right. It wasn't until I looked that I realized it was something else I had never felt before: wings. I had a big, beautiful pair of wings tucked against my sides. Each feather was fluffy and fragile and yet so strong at the same time. I tentatively spread them, and it was far easier than I imagined. It was amazing.
Yeah, being a horse-er-pegasus wont be so bad after all. I had accepted what was happening, because what good could come of fighting it? Either I am crazy and this will all go away, or its real. Of course, if it is all in my head, is it any less real?
I was jolted out of my reverie by a scream. Immediately, I sat straight up, alert and ready. It was both cool and creepy though when my ears swivelled around to focus on the noise. I'm going to have fun with that.

"That sounded like a kid. Er. . .foal." I whisper to myself, listening intently for another noise, a scream or the sound of hooves, anything to tell me where to run. I couldnt just sit there while someone was in danger, let alone a kid. A long, long moment passed, with nothing but a breeze rustling the leaves. Then two, and still nothing. Three, and I was starting to wonder if I imagined it. Then. . .

"Aaaaaaaa!"

And with a burst of energy I was galloping through the forest, dodging trees and outright flattening bushes. The wind snapped my mane and tail around, roaring in my ears and making my eyes sting. Still, I could hear that one, terrible sound, the sound of a scared child.
Everything kind of changed then. It seemed so surreal now, so unreal. I watched, oddly detached, as I galloped down a game trail, sliding under a branch and skidding to a stop in another small clearing. My heart thundered in my chest and my loud breathing echoed in my ears. All I could see was trees and bushes, soft moonlight shining down through the branches. My hooves made soft stomping sounds as I whirled around, and around, looking for something, anything.
And then came that feeling, the slow and penetrating feeling that something was wrong. I wasn't alone.

"Applebloom!" Came a scratchy yell from somewhere off to my right. Fear, pain, worry.
With a bound I am away again, watching the trees and shrubs fly past, occasional moonbeams catching my eye.
And finally I see them. Three small horses, but no, too small. They were ponies, their bright coats and manes scratched and dirty, dulled by grim and the pale light. They were huddled in a circle, two holding up a third, a small yellow one, who was nursing a hoof. The other two, one white with a pink mane and the other orange with a purple mane, made me pause. The white one had a horn, and the other one had wings, like me.

I step into the clearing, breathing heavily. Immediately three heads and six pairs of wide, scared eyes turned to me. Nothing was said, nothing except hard, heavy breathing, soft whimpers of pain. Finally, I slowly made my way over to them, very aware of the tears held in the corners of their eyes. I stopped in front of them, lowering my head to look them eye to eye.

"Are you alright?" I ask, voice soft and soothing, i hoped. The orange one opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a soft whimper from the yellow one with a bow in her red mane. All three were obviously female, even at their young age.

"No." She whispered, shakily standing up on three legs, holding her front left hoof close to her chest.
"I hurt mah leg." She closer her eyes, shaking from pain or fear, or simple adrenaline. Her ears drooped, and the shredded remains of her bow hung low over her neck, as a tear ran down her muzzle. It broke my heart to see a kid, er, foal, like this. I smiled at her, laying down.

"Come on. Lets get you home." I nodded to my back. "All aboard."

She smiled back at me, and unquestioningly trotted over and slowly clambered up onto my back, aided by a gentle push from one of the others.

"Thank you, Mister." The unicorn said, giving my neck a quick hug. I smiled and wrapped a hoof around her, hugging her back.

"It's my pleasure. Come on we-"

A long, chilling howl echoed through the trees. Immediately all the fillies froze and moved closer, instinct telling them to stay close to the biggest one there. A long, silent moment passed, before a fearful voice from on my back whispered in my ear.

"I'm scared. . ." I felt the small filly bury her face in my mane, wrapping her good hoof around my neck. I stood up, looking down at the other two.

"Can you girls keep up?" I asked, and god fearful nods in return. There's nothing like fear to lend speed to your hooves. I smiled at them.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything hurt you." I looked up again, scanning the treeline. Aside from the sporadic moonbeam lighting up small patches, there wasn't much I could see. Short, shallow pants from the girls, and my slow, deep breaths that seemed as loud as a tornado rang in my ears. Heavy, booming heatbeats, thump thump, thump thump, thump thump.
Snap.
My ears swivelled around to the sharp crack of a branch, my body sliding into a wider stance, ready to run or fight. My wings rose, making the filly on my back squeak, surprised by the biologic response to danger. She scrambled around on my back as I looked around, searching for the threat I knew was there.

"Girls. We need to move. Now!" I barked, spinning on a hoof, the urgent tone of my voice sparking them into action. The two fillies on the ground sped ahead of me as I galloped after, scooping them up as I ran. The unicorn was right in front of me, and so I lowered my head and picked her up with my muzzle, dropping her on my back. She squeaked loudly and grabbed at anything she could, eventually finding purchase by hooking her hooves in front of my wings. I head startled yells from both fillies as I scooped up the last filly, the pegasus, and almost dropped her. I managed to catch her, her hooves wrapped around my neck, wings buzzing with fear. Her hind hooves dangled inches off of the ground, making her yelp and hang on even tighter. I coughed slightly, with her almost choking me it was hard to focus on where I was going. Finally I managed to wing her around to where she was sitting on my shoulders instead, and a soft sigh of relief from her tickled my ear. Another howl sounded behind us, answered immediately by one beside and before. I slid to a stop at a fork in the trail, looking between them as I panted. Another howl, off to our right, and we were speeding down the left trail. I head a scream from one of the girls as two howls came from right behind us, getting closer and closer. This only lent speed to my hooves as I galloped even faster, my eyes set on the trees and bushes looming out of the darkness. Long, cold, reaching hands, almost, so close to reaching out and grabbing us.
Breathe. In, out. My heart thundered louder and louder with each step, faster and faster with each approaching howl. And then finally I saw it. The edge of the forest. Suddenly the trees ran out, and we were galloping across a grassy field. In the distance a thousand lights twinkled, like fallen stars, a small village glowing in the moonlight. The girls screamed again, and I looked back to tell them we were almost there, when pain blossomed in my left hind leg. I tumbled over, chest first, skidding to a halt several feet away, as I felt my blood pouring out of me. I looked back, and the girls had fallen off, laying in the dirt. They were shaken but still alive, unable to do anything but whimper in fear at what was stalking closer to them. A giant wolf, almost as big as me, made out of wood and branches. Its eyes glowed yellow, and its teeth red from my blood. Normally I would laugh at something like that, but the dark red blood running down its chest, and the same blood pouring out of my leg, took the humor out of it.
It didnt seem to focused on me though. No, all its attention was on the three, small, terrified fillies that were a lot closer to it than I was.

"Girls RUN!" I pulled myself up, slipping as I lost the feeling in my back leg. Four heads snapped around to me, three pairs of eyes wide with fear and one with hunger.

It only took a split second for everything to happen. The three fillies jumped and ran towards the village, as I jumped at the wolf, which was also jumping. Jaws wide, teeth bared, claws poised for a painful and horrible death.

'This is going to hurt.' I thought, seconds before I slammed into it, hooves first. I felt its claws run down my chest, ripping my flesh to the bone. Its jaws snapped shut less than an inch from my muzzle, before I responded by pounding my hoof into the side of its head over and over. One, two, three, four. Finally, i managed to push it off of me, but it had learned. It darted in, faster than I could move, and nipped the back of my other good hind leg. All of a sudden I couldnt move my hoof, and I knew he had cut the tendons. I rolled over and pulled the other leg under me. It had only bitten into muscle, and while the pain nearly made me pass out, i could move it. Finally I made it to my hooves, and turned slowly to look at it. It seemed unfased by my punches, while I could tell that I was soon to pass out. And then die.
That realization was a lot calmer than I expected. It was a realization of a simple fact, one I knew I could not fight. A peace washed over me, and I smiled, closing my eyes.
A growling bark, the sound of a wolf headed for my throat, one last breath. I was ready.
A whistling sound, a scratchy female yell, a yelp and a crash. I opened my eyes, and the wolf was gone. In its place stood a cyan mare with a beautiful rainbow mane and a frown.

"There you are." she sounded rather. . .pissed. I opened my mouth to say something, but I'm not sure what. What I did manage was one word:

"Skittles." I grinned, and then the ground rushed up to meet me, and I blacked out.

Well here we are again. I hope you liked, and I hope you reviewed. Reviews are the food of authors. Without them we find no reason to write. So if you want to see updates, write reviews. Fair trade I think. And yes I am being pushy.