The Deepest of Holes
A Breaking Bad fanfic by Rainfox88
Disclaimer: I don't own Breaking Bad, Vince Gilligan does. This is dedicated to the episode Crawl Space. Rated for language and violence. Contains spoilers.
I will kill your wife. I will kill your son. I will kill your INFANT DAUGHTER.
Those words pounded in his frantic mind. He was terrified. He was running. On autopilot as he screamed in his head that it was all over. They had to get out of here. Walter White practically dove down into the crawl space underneath his home where they were hiding the money. He briefly recalled Saul calling a warning for Hank, and so that enabled him to get home and get his family out of here.
He scrambled through the compressed bags full of green bills and clothes. Where was it all?! There wasn't nearly enough. It was missing! His breathing was strained, ragged from all the running and desperately clawing around for the rest. He felt horror rise in his chest.
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
"Down here!" he called, as he clenched his fingers around the stacks that he had. Not near enough for what he needed to get them out safe.
"Walt?" Skyler breathed timidly. Walt collapsed onto his back, shaking as he peered up at her through the crawl space hatch. "What did that phone call…mean?"
"Where is it?" he asked, voice raspy. He gave a couple of unsteady inhales of breathe in his desperation. "Where's the rest?"
"Wha?" she was startled.
"The money, Skyler! Where is the rest?!"
She looked like a deer caught in headlights. She was startled, confused, scared. Her mouth was moving but no words came out as she struggled to answer him. Walt could hear his heart rapidly beating in his ears, the blood rushing in response to imminent danger.
"Skyler…WHERE IS THE MONEY?!" he screamed, body flailing as he clenched the stacks he had in his hands harder. His hands were shaking violently.
He was staring at her, wide eyed through his dust covered glasses, frantic. He could feel his chest seizing up from the wild gulps of breaths he was taking. A strangled whimper caught in his throat, waiting for her to answer him.
Skyler was frightened, alarmed. She closed her eyes, trying to compose herself enough to answer him, even though she needed to know what was going on. "I gave it to Ted."
Walt wasn't sure he heard her correctly in the midst of his madness. "W-what? You…di-did…what?"
"Walt I'm-I had to. For us. For the family!" she stammered, shaking her head. She took in a deep, anxious breath. "I swear, Walt!"
He was at a loss for words. He couldn't understand. He slightly glared up at her in disbelief. How could things possibly get any worse?
"You gave our money to Beneke?" he growled. He dropped the money, his hands going to his shaved head where his fingers dug into his scalp, eyes closing as he felt his world spiraling out of control. He felt anger, terror, and hopelessness create a vortex within him.
"Walt! Please, please, just hear me out!" Skyler begged. "PLEASE!"
Her words fell onto ears that were pounding. Walt was drowning in the maelstrom of emotions that racked his mind. They were all dead. He felt he was in the deepest of holes where he could no longer climb out of. A pit of terror and hopelessness.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-GEHHH!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, his esophagus ripping from the strain. The cry rippled below the house within the crawl space, deafening to anyone who was around.
Walter collapsed onto his side, crying and bunched up nearly into a fetal position. He had his hands cradled over his face as he sobbed in his turmoil and utter horror. He had no idea how long he cried, feeling himself die from within, spirit breaking from the despondency of everything. If Skyler was calling to him, he couldn't hear her.
Something snapped within him. Between the terror of them all dying and the fallout of his desperation to try and save them all, he was suddenly feeling lighter. He felt so alone. He lost Jesse's loyalty, Gus wanted to kill his whole family, and his wife gave their money to the man she was having an affair with. It was suddenly all so surreal, like the worst practical joke in existence. He was at the end of his rope and everything crumbling out of control, but now he was finding it absolutely hilarious.
He heard a faint ring in the background. The telephone maybe? It didn't matter, he was suddenly laughing. As loud as he could, he was cackling. The ring came again, and he rolled over onto his back again, laughing like a maniac.
He laughed so hard from the hopelessness of it all, he ran out of breath. But he couldn't stop, even as his cackling turned into a squeaking series of snickers.
"Walt!" Skyler sounded horrified. Walt could care less.
He gained some breath back, coughing in the process. "HahahahaHAHAHAHA!"
Walter rolled onto his side, his maniacal laughter turning into coughs and gulps of breath. Skyler was gone. Another ring erupted in the distance. In his cloudy and unreasonable mind it sounded like a siren trying to bring him back, but he was losing himself to this darkness that was desperate to take over. Darkness that was angry, volatile, and manipulative. Darkness that was power-hungry, clever, and eager to make everyone pay.
He was staring up through the crawl space hatch now, to the ceiling above. His body was limp. The ringing had stopped, and Skyler was no longer looking down on him. He heard voices in the background, but the words were lost to his weak chuckling. It wasn't as though he cared or even noticed for that matter.
His head was pounding, his heart calming even in his chaotic bouts of laughter before. Darker thoughts were running through his mind now, and he no longer felt terror and despair. He no longer felt like Walter White. As his soft chuckling died away to an eerie silence, he felt his true self die. But what rose from that crawl space was something much more calculating and dangerous, a force to be reckoned with. Something that made him feel much more alive now as he started to plot in the depths of a devious and resentful mind.
Heisenberg…he greeted within himself, a smirk crookedly coming onto his dusty face.
A/N: I know it is short, but I just wanted to write a quick oneshot to one of my most favorite scenes from the show. There was so much depth to this scene, and Bryan Cranston really shows off his true talent here. It gave me goosebumps. I like to think of this scene as Walter White's true self dying and his alter ego Heisenberg rising from within. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)