Penny stared at Leonard, Amy and Bernadette with wide eyes and a slack jaw. She slowly looked over at Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. She turned back to the other three and swallowed the exclamation she wanted to utter. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before rubbing her eyes.
"I…" Penny shook her head and slowly sat down in Sheldon's spot. Her head hung forward and she tried to calm herself. A warm hand slipped into hers and she looked up into Sheldon's large blue eyes. He moved between her legs and leaned his head against her shoulder. Penny watched him suck his thumb for a second before turning back to Leonard. "Tell me again. How the fuck did you turn Sheldon, Howard and Raj into toddlers?"
Penny had stopped listening almost 20 minutes ago. She had tuned them out when they started repeating themselves. She stared at the little pile of green powder on the table and tried to make sense of what she had heard. Sheldon was still clinging to her hand, and Howard and Raj were racing around the apartment with light sabers as big as themselves. She smiled down at Sheldon who leaned against her hip. From the moment she had walked into the apartment, he had stuck close by her side.
She looked up at Amy who was staring at Sheldon and Penny with a mix of worry and jealousy. "So," Penny said tiredly, ignoring Amy's expression, "you three decided that our friends could use some …improvement, so you chose to try and modify them by combining an experimental drug that Amy has been working with and a new serum Bernadette has developed. Only you," Penny pointed to Bernadette, "mixed up the serums and used a new regression drug …thingie and you," Penny pointed to Amy, "accidentally used too much of your brain relaxing drug thingie, and you," she pointed to Leonard, "mixed the cocktail into their Thai food."
Penny clenched her teeth and tried to calm herself as all three of them nodded with embarrassment. "An hour later all three complain of headaches and upset stomachs. But instead of saying anything, or warning them that you may have POISONED them, you chose to tell them to get some sleep and they would feel better in the morning. Am I following the story so far?"
Amy frowned slightly. "Penny, you don't understand. We weren't trying to hurt them! We just wanted to fix them."
"FIX THEM?!" she hissed angrily. "You just wanted to fix them? Fix what? What is wrong with them? Huh? What is so very wrong with my guys that you felt the need to fix them?!" Sheldon cringed against her side and she wrapped her arm round him tight.
Bernadette sobbed slightly and wiped at her tear filled eyes. Leonard cringed and hung his head. Amy straightened her back and glared at her "bestie". "First of all, Sheldon is my boyfriend. He is not your guy. Second, we just wanted to help them get past their phobias and neuroses. Raj's inability to talk to women, Howard's Oedipus complex, and Sheldon's mysophobia. We are trying to help them!"
Penny shook her head angrily. "No! You are trying to help YOU. You didn't give a damn about what could happen. You didn't think about what damage you could do. You could have killed them!" Penny cried. They cringed from her, and Sheldon clung to her tighter.
Howard and Raj stopped playing and inched toward Penny, too. They crowded around her and started to cry. Penny moved across the room to the couch and Raj crawled onto her left leg. Sheldon immediately settled on the other leg and wound his arms around her neck. Howard sniffled loudly and Penny pulled him up beside Raj. She looked over them carefully. The three of them were only about 2 years old now. Maybe 20 pounds each. It broke her heart to see the confusion and fear in their eyes.
Amy walked over and reached for Sheldon but he tightened his grip on Penny's neck and buried his face in her shoulder. Penny tightened her grip and gave Amy a "back off" look. Amy huffed and looked at Penny. "He's my boyfriend. I will take care of him."
Penny set the three kids aside and stood up. She took Sheldon and Howard's hands and Raj took Howard's other one. "Not anymore he isn't. He's a child. You have no claim to him at all." She looked down at the boys and smiled reassuringly. "Come with me, sweeties. I'll get you some Oreos and we'll find you some cartoons to watch, okay?"
They clung to her hands and nodded quickly. Penny led them out of the apartment and across the hall. She opened her door and ushered them in. She turned and looked at Amy, Bernadette and Leonard. "You fix this," she whispered harshly, "or so help me, I'll call their mommies and tell on you!"
She didn't slam the door like she so desperately wanted to, so she just took the whirling turbulence of her temper and let it out through her nose in a muted scream. The boys all looked up at her and she let out a puffed sigh and gave them her patented fake smile. She could feel the heat of her anger just pouring out of her cheeks. If there weren't three babies present, she just might've committed a three-part homicide.
Penny turned around to address her babied friends and her heart bungee jumped to the pit of her stomach then shot back up into her throat… Raj was trying to climb on top of the coffee table and Howard was pulling and throwing stuff out of her purse. She dove and grabbed Raj before he fell (and of course, he thought it was a 'fun game' and cackled). She put baby Raj firmly on the floor and then launched out to grab Howard and give him a stern glare. It was then that she looked around and her heart thumped faster and louder than she'd ever thought it could… Sheldon was missing.
She swept Howard down beside Raj and ran into her bedroom. She looked under the bed, in her closed closet, inside her bathroom and she could feel herself hyperventilating. She heard three baby giggles and she ran back inside the living room. The three were now in front of the TV and baby Sheldon held one of her tampons in the air like a sword of power. Penny slumped her back against the door frame of her bedroom and shook her head, "I am so gonna need help."