A/N Since I watched the S4 finale, all I've wanted to do is write about Kenzi in Valhalla. So this is a start. I'll be bouncing a little bit back down to Earth to check on the rest of the gang, but for now, this will mostly take place in Valhalla. Tamsin will appear semi-frequently, since she can travel between the worlds (and because I love her). There might be some Valkubus mixed in (because I can't help it). Let me know what you think!
Kenzi sat up, rubbing her eyes groggily. She blinked several times, but it was dark, too dark to see.
"Hello?" she called hesitantly. Her voice echoed, traveling around the room and bouncing back to her. She stood up and started walking slowly, arms outstretched in front of her. Her eyes began to adjust and she could finally make out a few vague shapes to her right. She headed towards them, deciding she had basically no other options. Keeping her arms out in front of her, she moved to her right. She had only taken a few steps before she tripped and went sprawling forward, landing flat on her face.
"Oof." She stood up and brushed off her clothes. She reached down, feeling around the ground, trying to figure out what she tripped on. Her fingers touched sand, or fine dirt. She couldn't find anything on the ground; she must have just gotten her heel stuck in the ground.
"Next time I sacrifice myself to stop an apocalypse, I'm totally not wearing my Jimmy Choos," she muttered to herself. She pulled her boots off, one by one, and placed them carefully on the ground, not holding out much hope that she'd find them again. "Goodbye, old friends," she said, giving them a final caress. She stood up straight and looked around. Her eyes had definitely adjusted. The shadowy shapes in front of her had taken on a more concrete form. It seemed to be some kind of archway made of giant stones or sculptures or something. She moved forward, looking at the ground, trying to make sure she didn't step on anything gross. The ground was surprisingly soft and easy to walk on, so she continued on.
"Ok, Kenzi. Giant freaky-deeky archway in a huge, empty, dark room. Possibly inside of a hell portal. Walk through it?" She considered for a moment, then shrugged. "Yep, walk through it." She took a step forward and then she was underneath the arch. She looked up in awe; the arch had to be almost fifty feet tall. She walked to one side of it and touched it. There were inscriptions, some kind of runes, but Kenzi didn't have any idea how to read it. She traced one of the letters, and it suddenly began to glow. The runes began to light up, one by one. After the blackness of the room, the lights were blinding. Kenzi narrowed her eyes, squinting up at the runic letters, trying to see if there was anything she understood. Suddenly, the entire arc was enveloped in a bright golden glow, with Kenzi in the center of it. She felt herself lifted off the ground and she cried out. She waved her arms around, trying to free herself, but she just floated there.
A voice boomed out loudly. "You should not struggle. You are not in danger."
Kenzi kicked her legs. "Excuse me if I don't want to just take your word on that."
The voice continued. "Your soul is safe."
"Ok!" Kenzi yelled. "That's great! But my body is floating 25 feet in the air with no visible means of support!"
Kenzi's body suddenly stiffened. Her back arched and she screamed. It felt like her body was on fire. She tried to control her breathing, but the pain was unbearable. The golden light dissipated as suddenly as it had appeared and Kenzi fell to the ground with a thud. She groaned as she lifted her head. "Totally safe, huh?" she screamed out. She flew to her feet, then realized that she wasn't in any pain. She had just fallen twenty-five feet onto solid ground, but she felt completely fine. In fact, she felt strong. She felt stronger than she ever had in her life. She shook her legs out, taking a few steps forward. "Ok. What's the deal, disembodied voice? What the hell is this?"
A figure appeared in front of her. Kenzi backed away quickly, but immediately felt hands on her back. She whirled around and saw that she was completely surrounded.
"Woahh," she said, raising her hands quickly. "No touchy!"
One of the figures spoke. "Welcome, Mackenzie Malikov."
Kenzi spun around, trying to figure out which one had spoken. "Yeah, this is some welcome." Before she could speak again, all of the figures bent onto one knee, kneeling before her and lowering their heads. "Umm…"
One of the figures stood up. "Welcome, wounded warrior. Valhalla awaits."
Kenzi's jaw dropped. "Holy shit, it actually worked? I'm in Valhalla? Where's Tamsin?"
"The Valkyrie did her duty, she has transported you here. Your paradise awaits once you complete one final task."
Kenzi narrowed her eyes. "Hold up. I died in battle. I was chosen. A Valkyrie picked my soul to live in Valhalla for eternity. I thought that was all that had to happen!"
"You are a warrior. No one doubts that. But your death was not under the Valkyrie's control. You chose to die. You were transported here, that is true. But you must prove your worth before you can enter the hallowed halls of Valhalla."
Kenzi's eyes widened. "Shit."
"I don't think you understand," Kenzi spoke desperately. "I'm just a human! I don't have any special skills. Well, other than shopping. And eyeliner, but I don't think that's quite what you're looking for here!"
The figure continued dressing Kenzi. She was now wearing a dark, flowing robe with a white rope tied around her waist. The figure knelt in front of her. "Please lift your foot."
Kenzi glanced down. "Woah. You are not putting those fugly things anywhere near my perfectly manicured feet. And please stop changing the subject."
The figure stood. Kenzi had still been unable to determine who or what these shadowy guys were. It was like their faces were blurred out. They wore hooded robes, and they seemed to be human shaped. But it was an unnerving affect overall. It raised its head and Kenzi got the distinct impression that it was staring directly into her eyes. "You have two options. You can prove your worth and enter Valhalla, or you can descend into the Underworld and spend eternity surviving the goddess Hel. Choose now."
Kenzi gulped. "Well, when you put it that way…" She lifted her foot and the figure knelt back down and slipped flat black shoes onto her feet.
Once Kenzi was fully clothed, the figure turned away. "Please wait here, Mackenzie." Kenzi began pacing back and forth, her heart racing.
What the hell did you get yourself into, Malikov? This was supposed to be simple. Sacrifice yourself, save the world, wait for Bo to rescue you in Valhalla. Piece of cake. Leave it to me to even manage to screw up dying. Prove my worth? The whole reason I'm here is because I'm more useful to the world dead than alive. I'm totally screwed.
She stopped pacing and looked up, terrified, as three of the figures approached her. They spoke in unison. "It is time."
She stared at them for a moment. "That is just freaky." She threw up her hands in defeat. "Ok, screw it, let's do this. What do I have to do?"
They led her to a brightly lit area just past the archway. As they stood there, one of them spoke. "Mackenzie. You will be faced with a foe. You must defeat them in order to enter Valhalla."
"Great," Kenzi muttered. "A cage match. Perfect."
The shadowy figure continued. "To ensure a fair fight, you have been granted the same physical strength as your foe."
Kenzi looked shocked. "Is that why I feel so great?"
The figure nodded. "You will be evenly matched physically, but your mental acuity has not changed. You may have to rely on your intelligence in order to defeat your foe."
Kenzi winced. "Um. Can we maybe put some of that muscle juice into my brain? See what happens?"
"We wish you luck, Warrior." With those words, they backed away slowly. Kenzi looked around, but she couldn't see anyone else.
"Wait! So, my foe? Are they coming? Should I just…wait here?"
Kenzi heard a noise behind her and whirled around. Her eyes widened and she began backing away, scrambling over rocks. "Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope."
Her foe had appeared. A large woman, twice as tall as Kenzi, she was wearing a gladiator-style outfit with criss-crossing leather straining to hold her chest in place. Her arms were approximately the size of Kenzi's torso, and her legs were like tree trunks. She was holding a sword in one hand and a shield in the other.
Kenzi stared at her, eyes huge and terrified. "Hey! Shadow-men! Swords? She has a sword! Do I get a sword?"
The woman smiled, her eyes cold. She tossed her sword on the ground. It landed with a massive thud a few feet from Kenzi. "Feel free, human."
Kenzi walked over to the sword without taking her eyes off of the woman. It was as long as her entire body, and she knew immediately she had no hope of lifting it. "Ok," she conceded. "Fair point. But you shouldn't use it either!"
The woman's smile widened. "I don't think that will be a problem." She advanced towards Kenzi, who let out a small squeak and scrambled backwards. The woman laughed. "This won't even be fair. You're useless, human."
Kenzi glared up at her. She was sick of this. She had just killed herself in order to save the world. She had killed herself for Bo, and Dyson, and Trick, and Tamsin. She had killed herself because she was the only one who could have stopped the zombie apocalypse, and she killed herself because Bo loved her. And Bo had never underestimated her, not once. She had been worth more to Bo than this Sasquatch of a woman could ever understand. She pulled herself to her feet, eyes narrowed.
"I am not useless." She swung her arm and punched the woman in the leg. She groaned and fell to the ground. Kenzi looked down at her fist, her eyes wide. "Holy shit." She glanced at the woman, who was starting to pull herself off the ground. Having seen what kind of strength she now possessed, Kenzi knew that she did not want that force used against her. She raced around the woman and ran around the arch, pressing her back against it. She heard the woman's heavy footsteps moving slowly towards her. Kenzi held her breath. She saw the woman's shadow silhouetted in the arch, and Kenzi moved quickly. She darted underneath the woman's legs and punched her, hard, in the lower back. She fell to her knees and Kenzi followed that up with a blow to the back of her neck. The woman cried out, falling forwards. She pushed herself up and whirled around, lunging at Kenzi. Kenzi dodged to her right, and the woman missed grabbing her by a few inches. Kenzi swung her leg up and kicked the woman in the face. She swung her arms at Kenzi, this time managing to grab the edge of her robe. She pulled Kenzi towards her as she struggled to free herself. The woman lifted Kenzi into the air and stood up. Kenzi was now about fifteen feet about the ground, and the woman had her by the neck. She struggled to breath, but the woman's grip was relentless. Kenzi swung her arms uselessly, not even coming close to the woman's body. She was getting lightheaded. She wasn't sure what happened when you died if you were already dead, but she suspected that she was about to find out. The woman began to laugh. Kenzi was losing consciousness, but at the woman's laughter, her anger swelled again. She reached up and dug her sharp nails into the woman's arm, drawing blood. The woman screamed and released Kenzi with one hand, but that was enough. Kenzi swung her body forward, managing to kick the woman in the chest. She stumbled backwards and dropped Kenzi, catching herself with the arm that wasn't bleeding. Kenzi backed up and waited for the woman to move towards her again. The woman stood up, glaring at Kenzi and grabbing her bleeding arm.
"I was just going to kill you. But now, I'm going to make this painful."
Kenzi smiled. "Bring it on, bitch,"
The woman dove at Kenzi. She dodged right, and the woman tried again. This time, when Kenzi dodged, the woman couldn't stop herself in time. She slammed into one of the columns at the edge of the circle of light, and it crumbled. Before she could move, the column collapsed on top of her. She groaned as stone rained down on her. Kenzi walked over to her slowly. The woman's body was visible underneath the column, and she was struggling slightly. Kenzi walked around her so that she could see her face. "Who's useless now, suckah?" She crowed. She kicked the woman in the head and it rolled to the side. The woman stopped moving, and Kenzi exhaled. Suddenly, the woman's body disappeared. "What?" Kenzi looked around, confused.
The columns surrounded the lighted area were dissolving. The light seemed to be getting brighter. Kenzi looked over at the arch and gasped. The stone was transforming before her eyes. In a few seconds, it was no longer a stone arch. Instead, it was an ornate gold gate. The shadowy figures had reappeared and were standing in front of the gate. Kenzi walked to them. They slowly pulled their hoods back, and Kenzi gasped as their faces were revealed. They were all beautiful blonde women. Kenzi smiled. They reminded her of Tamsin. She realized they must be Valkyrie. They were all smiling gently at her.
One of them spoke. "Congratulations, Warrior. You have earned your place in the halls of Valhalla."
Kenzi looked at each of them in turn. "Seriously?"
They nodded, then turned and pushed open the gate. Kenzi stepped forward and peered through. She gasped.
"Welcome to Valhalla, Mackenzie."