I hope this chapter brings you everything you hoped for as the buildup is finally coming to a head and the story to its conclusion. It's extra long… 2 chapters in one! Thanks for the reviews and support always!
This Chapter RATED M for adult content.
I turned on the car radio to drown out the roller coaster of emotions flooding my thoughts, which had resulted in the best night of my life and possibly the worst. I still hadn't processed the latter fully. I had kept replaying our dance and our mistletoe kiss in my head and visualizing the loving way he looked at me to try to drown out the condescending tone of Isabel, the wicked bitch of the city. She had gotten on my very last nerve and then managed to crawl inside that nerve for good measure. She was just so vile. Knowing Oliver ever gave someone like that one naked moment of his time was a hard pill to swallow.
Hard blinding rain began to fall as I drove into the night toward home and it started to fall on my windshield like soft sleet. The freezing rain mixed with the dropping temperatures was instantly turning the rain into ice. My mind was in overdrive. One minute I was cursing Oliver, the next I was finding excuses for him. I so wanted an excuse for him. Maybe he could explain why he said what he did, but did it matter now that the humiliation had already happened? To gain my life's ultimate happiness just to lose it like that was not something I was handling very well.
I wanted so desperately to find a way to reconcile tonight's events in my head because my heart was demanding it from me. I was so in love with him. I swore he felt as strongly about me. Oliver was a lot of things but he wasn't one to hurt me so carelessly. The last thing he asked me to do tonight was trust him. Despite everything, I still trusted him with my life, but could I trust him with my heart? I just needed to know why he did what he did.
I rode through the torrential downpour and finally arrived at my apartment building. I glanced around in my backseat for my umbrella and couldn't see it anywhere, but considering the way this night had taken such a sharp spike downward, I wasn't really surprised if it continued that way. I wasn't even really concerned with getting wet, and it looked to be exactly what was going to happen. As I approached my parking spot, I noticed some inconsiderate jackass was parked in it, no doubt because of the weather conditions. I drove around and was forced to park five rows back. I climbed out of my car and was shell-shocked with the howling wind and sleeting rain that befell me. I was soaked through within seconds. With my sweater now glued to my dress, my hair drenched and dripping freezing water down my face and the squishy squashy sound of my shoes, I got myself to the front lobby of my apartment building.
I approached the elevators completely shivering and numb. I waited and waited. I loved my apartment building. It consisted of mostly young working professionals with the exception of Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs, a very elderly couple who moved in a couple months back because they wanted to downsize and Mr. Jacobs used to work in this very building back when he was a young man. It used to be an Old Bottle Factory from the 1940s through the '50s. It was completely renovated and turned into spacious 2-bedroom apartments, but it kept most of the unique charm and character the old factory had. But along with the charm came a few problems. Although renovated, the one thing they didn't change was the antique elevators. There were two elevators for 10 floors and they moved at a snail's pace. And it didn't help that one or the other would tend to get stuck more often than not or not work at all. So when those doors opened, it was like the gates of heaven opened up and everyone wanted to be first in line.
I looked up at the various floor buttons on both elevators. The one on the left had lit up on the second floor and the one on the right was on the 9th. Needless to say, I was waiting for the left elevator. One more floor and those doors would open for me and I'd be one step closer to a warm apartment and hot bath. That was if I was even able to get from here to there before I turned into an ice-cube. I heard the bell to the elevator ring and the doors slowly came open. There was one passenger on the ride, Mr. Jacobs, who lived on the 10th Floor. He was standing all the way in the back of the elevator holding his cane and smiling at me without his dentures in. When he saw my current state of soakedness, he uttered in a jittery tone, "Oh, you poor thing."
I waited for him to take a step and it was more of a slow shuffle slide of his feet. He was moving so gingerly, I was afraid the doors would close right on top of him before he even reached them. I held the door with my hand and waited for him to cross the threshold. As he did, his cane got stuck in the track and he stumbled forward, which caused the cane to release. On reflex, I let go of the elevator door and lunged to catch him before he fell. I managed to do just that.
"Thank you, my Dear, but I should be helping you. You look absolutely dreadful."
"I'll be okay once I get to my apartment. Now be careful out there. It's coming down hard and it's freezing cold."
"Oh, no, Child. I'm not going out in that weather. I'm not crazy, although some may debate that fact. It's Friday, remember? Me and the wife take turns riding down on the elevator and then riding back up together because most of you young kids are out for the evening."
"Oh, yes, how could I have forgotten Friday Flight Night?"
With that, the doors closed behind me without realizing it and began its slow track back up, no doubt headed to the 10th floor to pick up Ms. Jacobs.
"That's going to get Ms. Jacobs, I take it?" I said as I stood shivering.
"Yep, sure is."
Judging from the fact Ms. Jacobs was less ambulatory than Mr. Jacobs and her bad eyesight made it hard for her to see the numbers on the elevator buttons and so she would press all of them until she made it to the ground floor, I knew I would be standing there for another 10 minutes. My body at this point didn't have 5 minutes to wait. I turned my attention to the elevator on the right hoping it was close to the bottom, but it was stopped on the 8th floor.
Just great, Felicity. When it rains it pours. I might as well just take the stairs.
I walked over to the stairwell and opened the door and a gush of freezing air hit me. I looked up at what was ahead of me and began the track up to my apartment on the 4th Floor. I left a trail of water as I climbed each step and, even worse, it seemed the heating system wasn't working in the stairwell. It felt like 20 degrees in there. Judging from my cold wet hands almost sticking to the railing, I'd say I was about right. So not only was I wet, I was freezing and wet, and now my legs were beginning to shake uncontrollably as I continued to climb.
I wasn't going anywhere expeditiously like I'd hoped. It was more like left foot on bottom step, right foot on bottom step, left foot on second step, right foot on second step, and so on. I was trying to keep myself from buckling under the rapid shaking I was experiencing while trying to hold my balance. There was no way I could hold onto the handrails for more than a few seconds because they felt like frozen ice.
My head began to try to focus on other things and it went straight to Oliver. How could I stop having romantic feelings for him when I saw him every day? How do I face him? How do I stop loving him if I have to? How do I stop loving him at all?
It seemed like a lifetime later, but I finally approached the last flight of stairs; although, my body was frozen, my teeth were chattering, and I was beyond tired. I didn't even remember how I managed to make it as far as I did. As I looked up toward the top of the stairs, I was mouthing "thank God" to myself because I was too cold to speak it. There was only one problem: After 7 flights of stairs with almost no feeling in my feet or hands, I couldn't find the strength to lift my leg up to reach the bottom step.
Suddenly, without any warning, the door at the top of the stairs flew open. I flinched so hard I almost lost my balance. Just like a delirious person sees a mirage, I swore that's what I was seeing. There at the top of the stairs stood Oliver, breathing hard and looking like he had just found something he had been searching for.
"You scared the crap out of me, Oliver," I said holding my hand to my chest.
"Felicity, what in God's name are you doing?" Oliver yelled out to me from the top of the stairwell.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" I responded half-heartedly with the little strength I had left.
It obviously had become clear to him the state I was in, because he moved away from the door to the top edge of the stairs.
"No, no, no, no. Don't you take one more step," I yelled up at him.
"What are you talking about? You can barely move."
"After what you did, you don't get to –" (sneezing) – " help me."
"You don't expect me to just leave you down there, do you?"
"I expect you to leave me alone." I tried to lift my foot up to no avail.
Before I could take another step, he had run down to me, latched onto me, holding me up where I stood.
"Oh, my God, you're ice cold. I'm taking you upstairs," he demanded while trying to maneuver me upward.
"I don't need your help." I snatched my arm away from him. I was obviously still holding a lot of resentment from earlier; although, how I could keep this up in the state I was in was going to be a huge challenge.
"Felicity, you are incapable of getting up these stairs. Just admit it."
"I was doing just fine before you barged in."
"Well, you're not fine now."
I exhaled a breath of enormous frustration meant just for Oliver.
"Look, you can't just swoop in here and save me —"
He had me in his arms and at the top of the stairs by the time I finished my sentence.
''—and act like nothing happened."
"I know you're hurt and angry, but I wasn't going to leave you down there like that."
"Damn it, Oliver!" I shrieked and then turned away from him. "Will you put me down, please?"
Oliver did as I asked – this time - but then he suddenly and without warning embraced me. I wanted so badly to push him off of me immediately but his warm body against my wet clothing and frozen skin was like being wrapped in hot towels.
"I'm so glad you're okay."
"That's questionable. I might not have any limbs tomorrow."
"When you didn't answer your door but your car was parked outside, I thought something happened to you."
"Just because I didn't – (sneezing) - answer my door?" (sneezing)
"Let's go inside and talk about this," he said as he tried to move me toward the door in the stairwell.
"No, not until you tell me what's going on."
"You want to talk here when you're shaking like this?"
"Felicity, it's probably 20 degrees in here."
I looked right at him and gave him a don't-you-think-I-know-that-already glare.
"Look, when I pulled up in the parking lot, I noticed an unfamiliar red car in your parking space and didn't see your car at first. After I found your car and parked, I approached the building. As I did, I saw someone getting into that red car. I stopped to ask him what he was doing there and he gave me some bullshit story about dropping something off to a tenant."
"So…after all that's gone on with you, Felicity, I'm still a bit overprotective of you and I didn't want to take any chances with you again. Anyway, I let him go when he showed me his undercover badge."
"Oh, my God, you assaulted a cop?"
"I didn't assault him. I just wanted to know what he was doing there."
"Well, at that point, I walked into your building and got on the elevator."
"How long did you have to wait?"
"What does that matter?"
"I didn't. Some elderly couple was getting on together and they held the door for me."
Seriously? Are you kidding me?
"When I got to your apartment and knocked for a few minutes and realized you weren't there, I thought the worst. I panicked."
"I could have just been ignoring you, you know."
"That did cross my mind, but the overwhelming feeling something was wrong erased the you-not-wanting-to-see-me scenario."
I sat there and didn't know if I should be thanking him or telling him to leave.
"Felicity, why did you take the stairs anyway?"
"Well, for reasons I now regret, I thought it might be quicker." I suddenly quivered where I stood feeling cold water dripping down the back of my neck.
"You look like you decided to walk home in the rain, too. You're soaking wet, Felicity."
"I'm aware of that too."
God, am I aware of that.
"I kind of got pummeled by the sleeting rain first. Then the elevator wasn't being very cooperative tonight so I thought, what the hell, I'll give the stairs a chance, and, as you can see, I was frozen solid on my way to my apartment. With the night I've had, I guess I shouldn't be surprised."
I was so cold I could hear my teeth chattering.
"Come on, can I take you inside now?"
"No, wait, why did you come here in the first place?"
"I had to explain my actions tonight."
"Your words spoke louder than your actions, don't you think?"
"I'm sorry I had to do that to you."
"You had to? That doesn't make any sense."
"Felicity, I wanted to tell you but you didn't wait for me. Why didn't you just wait?"
"For your information, I did wait for you. Despite my better judgment, I waited out in the foyer and then my car and you never showed. So don't try to turn this around on me."
"I'm sorry, that's not at all what I'm trying to do. I got held up longer than expected, but there is also a reason for that."
"You've always got your reasons when it comes to the questionable things you do, like when you slept with Isabel for no good reason at all. I don't understand you sometimes, I really don't, but other times you're the man I know you want to be and that man is irreplaceable in my life."
He put his warm hand on my cheek and I literally got goose bumps all over. As wonderful as it felt, I took my hand and pulled his hand off.
"Please don't push me away." His tearful plea was filled with noticeable anguish.
"Why are you acting like this now?" I sighed.
"I can't lose you, Felicity."
"You've got me so damn confused. I can't see straight. Do you know that?"
"I don't mean to confuse you."
"Well, meaning it or not, that's what you're doing and I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't want to lose you either, but I don't think you know what you want."
"You can't be more wrong on that. Will you please give me five minutes? That's all I ask."
I suddenly sneezed and then sneezed again.
"Come here, you're freezing." Oliver took off his suit jacket and put it around me.
"Okay, I'll give you five minutes, but just because you're giving me your jacket doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. It just means I can't feel my arms."
"Can you walk?"
"I think so."
"I don't want to pick you up again without your permission, but it would be a lot faster if you'd let me."
I contemplated the long walk from the stairwell, down the hall and around the corner to my apartment and decided Oliver's idea was far more appealing.
"Please, just get me out of here," I said out of energy and out of any good excuses to say no.
Oliver swept me up as I laid my head against his chest. He had me to my apartment door in seconds. He took my keys from me and unlocked the door and carried me inside. I was so cold I couldn't feel my fingers, my toes, or my ears.
"Felicity, you have to get out of these clothes before you catch pneumonia."
I knew he was right but due to the fact I couldn't feel my hands, I knew that was going to be a problem.
Oliver took his jacket off my shoulders and laid it on the side of the couch. He ran over to my thermostat and turned the heat up as I tried to unbutton my sweater but my fingers didn't want to bend.
Oliver sensed my difficulty and came over to me.
"Felicity, let me help you with that."
"I can do it on my own."
"I really don't think that you can."
"Well, you certainly don't get to do it."
"I just want to help you. Will you let me?"
I reached my hands up to my cardigan again and tried to unbutton the top button, but my fingers still weren't cooperating with what my mind was telling them to do. Oliver was just standing there with his hands crossed and eyebrow raised just waiting for me to give him the green light.
"I can do this, Oliver."
He took a step toward me.
I held my hand up. "Stop. I just need a minute."
"You don't have a minute. Besides, at the rate you're going, it will take you an hour just to get your sweater off and there's still the matter of your dress. We can't leave these wet clothes on you a minute longer. It's already been too long."
I threw my hands down in exasperation.
"Please let me help you. Don't be stubborn about this right now. You can yell at me all you want later, but I'll have to save your life first for you to be able to do that."
He's got a point there.
As much as I wanted to be stubborn right then and hold onto my hurt feelings, all I wanted and needed right now was out of these clothes.
"Okay, okay, you're right." I sighed, finally giving in.
"Finally." He moved toward me, causing me to exhale deeply upon his approach.
"I'm going to take your sweater off now, okay?"
I nodded my head affirmatively.
"You're not going to slap me, right?"
"Now that you mention it…" I smirked and shrugged my shoulders.
He positioned himself right in front of me and looked down at my sweater. I looked down right along with him. He hesitated.
How did my button-down cardigan become such an obstacle for either of us to take off?
"It's okay. I want you to." I nodded letting him know it was okay.
I was shaking where I stood, but now I couldn't tell if it was from being soaking wet or because of what Oliver was about to do and how nervous he appeared to be about doing it.
Oliver, nervous? That's a first.
When his hand touched the top button of my sweater, I felt compelled to look up at him to gauge if this was affecting him in the same way as it was me. He was looking right at me as he unbuttoned it, not saying a word. I turned my head to the side looking up in the air trying to get control of my scattered emotions. He meticulously worked his way down unbuttoning each button until he reached the last one. When I heard him let out a resounding breath, it inadvertently caused me to turn my head back towards him. My eyes caught his as he moved his hands up to my shoulders as he slipped my open sweater down my arms until it dropped on the floor behind me. He rubbed his hands up and down my bare arms trying to warm me up. Somehow in the middle of Oliver trying to save me from hypothermia, it had turned into something so much more. I could feel myself thawing rapidly.
"Now for the dress…"
I didn't say anything. I just stood there holding my breath.
"Will you turn around for me? I need to unzip this."
"Mm-hmm," I mumbled as I swallowed hard while turning around.
Oliver picked up my wet, dripping hair and laid it over one shoulder. His warm hand made contact with my neck and I knew I was in big trouble of forgetting why I was even angry with him.
I stood completely still as he found the clasp at the top of my dress and undid it.
"I'm sorry you ruined another dress, Felicity, especially this one," he whispered over my shoulder as I closed my eyes when I felt his breath against my cold skin.
"Why especially this one?"
"Because I kissed you in this one."
"You also broke my heart in it," I quickly replied.
"I'm sorry, Felicity. I didn't mean any of it."
I turned my head to look over my shoulder and he mouthed the words again, "I'm sorry." His expression made me feel bad for what I had just said.
"Let's not worry about that right now and just get this off of me, okay?"
Now he's got me feeling bad for him? I'm so perplexed.
I felt him find the zipper and he began to slide it down by back. I felt the dress start to drop and by instinct I pressed my arms against my chest to keep it from falling off of me. I bit my lip and took in a deep breath as the zipper reached the bottom and I felt the dress pull open in the back. I then let out my breath and felt my body tingling from the warm heat in the room finally making contact with my cold skin.
I didn't know why I wouldn't let go of the dress immediately because I already felt completely naked because of how out of control my emotions were when it came to him and how difficult it was to pretend I wasn't affected by him being this close to me. I was utterly incapable of pretending anything at this point. Pretending meant lying and I didn't want to lie to myself anymore. So what if he didn't feel the same way about me? That was his issue, not mine. My feelings were relevant and they meant something to me. He had to do something right to make me feel this way about him. I fell in love for the first time in my life and I had him to thank for allowing me to experience it. With him, something that had been dormant inside of me for so long woke up and allowed me to know what love was supposed to feel like and now I'd never settle for less. I was all in. I just didn't want to be all in it alone. I couldn't make him love me, but that didn't mean the love I felt for him wasn't real. I was completely committed to my feelings despite the fact he may never reciprocate them. That was the saddest part of it all.
"Felicity, do you want me to take this off for you?"
"Uh, I think I can take it from here. Thanks."
Oliver grabbed his jacket he left on the couch and held it up in back of me covering me up as I let go of my hold on the dress and it immediately slid down to the floor. I suddenly felt the warmth of his jacket from behind me slip over my shoulders. Even now, he was being such a gentleman.
"Do you feel any better?" he spoke softly over my shoulder.
"Much," I said as I turned my head towards him.
He put his hands on my shoulders and slowly spun me around to face him.
"Your coloring is coming back."
He reached down and picked up my right hand and began rubbing my palm with his thumb.
"How does that feel?" he continued to rub as he looked intently at me.
"Actually, it feels really good."
"I think your circulation is finally coming back."
He picked up my other hand and began to do the same.
"Is this helping?"
"Oh, yeah...it's helping."
It's just your hand. Don't flip out.
"Yeah?" I was barely audible because my mind was busy with loud thoughts of its own that had me preoccupied.
All of a sudden, Oliver's cell rang and he let go of my hand, pulling me out of my relaxed state.
"I'm sorry, let me turn this off."
"Answer it. It might be important."
I didn't tell him I noticed it was Isabel calling.
"Well, I'm going to go hang up my dress and sweater. I'll be right back."
I took off his jacket and my bra and panties and threw on a spaghetti strap camisole, a new pair of panties, and pajama bottoms and put on my cotton robe as I hung my clothes up in the bathroom. As I was coming back to the living room, Oliver was in the kitchen making coffee.
"Hey, do you want some coffee? I thought this would warm you up."
"Thank you, Oliver, but— "
"One cup of coffee with one packet of hot cocoa mix, right?"
"How did you know how I liked my coffee?"
"Because you make yourself coffee at the office more than you make it for me, so I started to pick up on some things."
"I didn't think you were paying attention."
"I pay attention to everything you do. I always have."
"Well, then I'd love a cup of Hot Choffee, please."
Oliver smiled at me as he handed me the cup and we sat down on my couch. The warmth of the coffee cup felt divine against my cold hands. Things got really quiet as the silence was definitely a sign Oliver was thinking of how to explain himself.
"So why are you really here, Oliver?" I decided to get the ball rolling.
"Because of the way we left things."
"Things were left that way because of you, not me."
He reached up and brushed a strand of my drying hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. I moved my head away from him still waiting for an answer and not wanting his touching me to become a distraction, but everything about him was screaming DISTRACTION.
"I never meant to hurt you. You've got to believe that."
"I don't know anymore. Everything seemed so clear tonight and now it's all a big blur."
"I know and I'm sorry. The way I feel about you is not complicated; it's simple. It's everything else that is complicated."
"Well, let's do the simple stuff first," I suggested.
"You know how I feel about you, don't you?"
"No, Oliver, I really don't. That's the problem."
"I care about you more than you know."
"What does that mean? The 'more than I know' part is something I need to know, don't you think?"
Oliver moved in closer to me. Any residual coldness I had left over from becoming a human snowwoman had just melted away.
"I thought I could control my feelings, Felicity, for a long time, because it was better that way, better for you. But I've come to realize when it comes to you, there is no way I can control how I feel."
"Then why did you tell Isabel there was nothing between us?"
"Because I had to. I left that island with enemies, Felicity. They'll always be trying to find a way to get to me and that would be by hurting you. If I act on my feelings for you in public, I would put you in danger. I can't do that. I won't do that."
"Can't you just let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling and not worry about the what ifs?"
"I could never be selfish with your life, ever. It's not even a consideration."
"So you were trying to protect me tonight; is that what you're saying?"
"Yes, that's what I wanted to talk to you about and then the mistletoe happened and I got caught up in you and I never got the chance."
"You got caught up in me?"
"How could I not? Didn't you feel how much I wanted you?"
"I thought I did, but then when you said what you did to that…'her'…I didn't know how to feel."
"I'll never forgive myself for making you doubt my sincerity. It gutted me. But if I didn't say what I did, the whole town would know we were together and I couldn't risk putting you in the line of fire. I just felt for this to work, we needed to keep things between us for now. I'm so sorry things went down that way."
"So what you said to Isabel was a lie?"
"It was all a lie."
"Well, can you keep Isabel as far away from me as possible or I might have to knock her out."
"Well, you won't have to worry about that much longer."
"What do you mean?"
"That's what took me so long at the party. I had to convince Mr. Klein that Isabel would make a great CEO for his overseas office and if we were going to make the deal, that was one of my conditions."
"You got rid of her for me?"
"I won't say I didn't want her gone, but, yes, I did it for you. I wasn't going to let her treat you that way again."
I almost couldn't contain my excitement and I cracked a huge smile at the thought of her departure.
"She's none too pleased either. She's been calling for the last hour. I just had to block her calls."
Ding dong the witch is gone.
'I just want you to know I meant every word I said to you tonight before Isabel interrupted us."
"So that kiss…"
"The mistletoe was just an excuse. I've wanted to kiss you for so long, Felicity."
"And when you said you wanted to be with me?"
"That hasn't changed."
My chilly feelings towards Oliver were beginning to defrost along with the rest of my body.
"I'm sorry that I took you for granted, Felicity. It's just that you're the one person that understands what I've gone through and you don't make excuses for me like everyone else does. You don't judge me. You just tell me the truth. I just assumed you'd be there waiting there for me no matter what. I won't assume anything ever again. That was wrong of me. I want you in my life. I need you in my life."
"I need you too, Oliver."
"I don't like when you're angry at me."
"I don't like it either."
"Will you forgive me for putting you through that? Please tell me you will."
"Yes, I forgive you." I felt a relieved smile forming on my face.
"There, that right there."
"What about it?"
"Don't ever stop doing that."
I smiled widely as he smiled back.
"You're so beautiful, do you know that?"
"Come on, I must look like a mess."
"There's no such word where you're concerned."
He gazed over at me and we locked eyes and I felt the electricity between us.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked noticing he was staring down at my lips.
"Kissing you and never stopping."
I love blunt and to the point.
"Hmm, never stopping?"
"That's right," he whispered as he put his hand up to the side of my neck, rubbing his thumb against my cheek.
"That sounds really good," I sighed loudly.
"But that's the selfish part of me talking, Felicity."
"I just want to be honest with you about how I feel about you. I want to do this right."
"Look, Oliver, I know there's some sort of physical thing going on between us. I can feel that. I felt it before you went to Munich to rescue my mother. I felt it tonight on the dance floor and under the mistletoe. I feel it now. Is that what you want from me, a physical relationship?"
"Is that what you think?"
"Well, you've told me you want me and need me and care for me, but everything else has always been a guessing game."
"It's not about sex, Felicity. I've had plenty of physical relationships."
"So you don't want to have sex with me?"
(silence) "Wait, what? Is that a trick question?"
"It wasn't meant to be."
"Let's just say I've had plenty of physical relationships but they didn't mean anything to me. With Laurel, I was a kid when I fell for her and I never grew up in that relationship."
I inadvertently grabbed at Oliver's collar to straighten the fold and my hand touched his neck and he immediately reached up for my hand and held it in his.
"You don't know what you do to me, do you?" he said as he rubbed his thumb into the back of my hand.
"Not entirely, no."
"When you touch me in any way, I feel it."
"But I just straightened your collar."
"All I have to do is feel you and I feel everything." He continued to massage my hand, warming me up even more.
"That feels amazing." I leaned my head back on the cushion as he continued to massage my hand.
If he's trying to turn me on, he's way past that.
Oliver exhaled loudly as he looked down at me.
"Oh, no, no, no, you're not going to fall asleep on me again when I need to say something important to you."
"What do you mean 'again'?"
He pulled me up by my hands until I was upright and in front of his face. He put his hand on my cheek and I immediately tilted my head to lean into his hand as he cupped it.
"Mmm, I could stay like this forever," I said, closing my eyes for a brief second.
"It's really hard to concentrate, Felicity, with you sitting this close to me and looking at me like that."
"Is that a bad thing?"
(Smiling) "God, I really want to kiss you right now, but I need to tell you how I–"
"Wait, you can't just say that to me and not kiss me."
"I really don't think I'd be able to stop if I start now."
"Just one kiss, Oliver. I promise."
Two, three at the most.
Oliver pulled my face toward him and he looked at my mouth like he was about to do things to it that would make me blush for a week.
"Okay...just…one…kiss," he whispered and then his lips met mine and he started kissing me. I felt a tingling sensation run through me immediately. My mind was on fire with burning thoughts of desire as he took control and never relinquished it. The kiss started out gentle and soft and, God, he took his time with it, which made me want him that much more. When his tongue entered the picture, my anticipated pleasure was fulfilled and overflowing. Our bodies responded as the kiss grew more passionate. Every nerve in my body was stimulated when Oliver's tongue found mine and did things to it, with it, and for it I'd never felt before. When he stopped, I was still so caught up in it; I just sat there breathless for a minute or two.
"All I can say to that is…wow." I was gasping for breath as I rubbed my index finger over my bottom lip already missing the fact his lips weren't still there.
"If you don't stop doing that, Felicity—"
"Playing with your bottom lip like that."
"It's very distracting."
"Well, everything about you is distracting. Try working with you sometime. It's not easy."
Oliver smiled as he locked eyes with me and wouldn't look away. My heart was pounding so loud I could hear cleary every beat of its rapid succession. I wanted him so much.
"I swear I don't deserve you…" Oliver's comment took me my surprise and kind of halted the moment.
"Where is that coming from?"
"Look at you. You are smart, funny, beautiful, kind, caring, giving, sexy –"
Of all those descriptive words, one popped out more than the others because I didn't hear it too often.
"Mm-hmm, like you wouldn't believe." His eyes trailed up and down my body.
I blushed at the thought of Oliver thinking I was sexy.
"You are everything, Felicity, and you deserve everything back. And I know I've let you down and my track record with relationships leaves a lot to be desired."
"We're not perfect, Oliver. We make mistakes."
"I just don't want you to ever think of me as a mistake you made."
"I could never think that…not with the way I feel about you."
"But there's probably someone out there that deserves you more than I ever would and—"
"Stop right there," I put my hand up to his mouth. "How could you not know?"
"That there is no one else, not since I met you. There's nothing more I want or need than you. Just you."
"Oliver, I just thought that I wasn't what you wanted this whole time."
(exhales) "Are you kidding me? Everything I want, everything I never even hoped for, showed up in the I.T. Department a couple of years ago and has been changing my world a little every day."
"Really?" My heart melted at the very thought of rewinding back to that moment.
"Felicity, my heart hasn't slowed down. I've been chasing it ever since. I just finally caught up to it."
I was almost scared to ask the question but I did. "And what does your heart say?"
"It says it's yours, Felicity."
"It's saying it right now. I'm saying it."
"Well, could you tell your heart for me that my heart feels the exact same way?"
I didn't hesitate and I grasped onto Oliver's lips and I kissed him and he quickly responded. It was that kind of kiss you don't recover from…like ever. But then again, none of Oliver's kisses today have proven to be ones I could ever get over.
Oliver leaned more into the kiss until he had complete control over it and me. When he nibbled on my bottom lip, my knees buckled, my heart dropped, my mind lost all sense of person, place and time. I only felt Oliver. And what I was feeling was indescribable at best and sensational at the least.
Every time I felt the thrust of his tongue, I was clearly in a state of ecstasy. His tongue claimed my mouth and it wanted what it wanted. It found its way in easily. As he kissed me, he was grasping my face and neck with his hands and the intensity just kept increasing until it reached the maximum level my body could handle.
"Oliver…" I moaned under my breath as he gave me the kissing of my life.
He abandoned my lips only to give my neck equal sharing of his mouth. With every succulent kiss up my neck, I groaned with pleasure.
His mouth met my ear and he whispered breathlessly, "Oh, Felicity…"
Oh, Felicity is right. I couldn't believe what was happening to me.
"Should we slow down a bit?" I blurted out inadvertently as I kept kissing him and I began to unbutton his shirt.
Oliver immediately stopped and looked at me.
"I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop?"
Think about your answer long and hard, girl.
"Actually, I don't want you to do anything but what you're doing."
"Are you sure? We can take it slower, Felicity. It's okay."
I looked at him and I took a deep breath. "I'm feeling so many things right now. I've never felt this way. I just—"
"Listen, I don't want to rush anything with you. I've waited this long, I can wait longer."
"You've been waiting for me?" I smiled up at him.
"Mm-hmm, for a good while now…"
"That's the sweetest thing - (kissing his cheek) - you could have said to me."
"You know, this will change everything (kissing my neck) between us."
"For the better - (kissing the side of his mouth) – I'm sure."
"Are you ready – (kissing my ear) - for that?"
"I'm ready for us (kissing his lips)."
"I'm ready for you, Felicity." He ended our little playful make-out scene with a deep, sensual kiss.
"How did I get so lucky?" I said feeling strong emotions flooding through my every thought.
"I'm the lucky one and I'm never letting you go." Oliver held my face softly with both of his hands and looked at me anxiously but didn't say anything.
"What's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?"
Because I've never felt this way about anyone before and I want to look at you when…" (exhales loudly)
"When I tell you...I've fallen in love with you."
"You've fallen in What with me?" I strangely questioned what I know I had just heard.
He moved in towards me and put his mouth up to my ear as my breathing increased anticipating what he was going to do or say. He whispered ever so softly, "I'm…in…love…with…you, Felicity."
I turned my head toward him trying to process the emotional high that just hit me.
"I'm in love with you too," I said teary-eyed as I kissed his lips. "Do you really mean it?"
"Felicity, you're all I think about. Every time I look at you and those adorable expressions you make, I ask myself how I ever got so lucky. I can't wait to get to work in the morning so I can see your face first thing. When I go to sleep, I imagine you next to me. When I wake up, I roll over and imagine you there. You took a chance on me and changed your whole life for me no questions asked. I depend on you more than anyone else and I want you to know you can depend on me for anything. You're the most important thing in my life and I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it, to say it, to express it. I just want to stop imaging it and start living it with you, Felicity."
(Teary-eyed) "I can't believe you've felt this way and I didn't even know it."
"I'm good at hiding my feelings Felicity, bad at expressing them."
"I think you just did a pretty good job of expressing it."
"You have that effect on me, I guess."
"I've had feelings bottled up for so long, Oliver. I just never thought you—"
"I'm yours, Felicity. I'm not going anywhere but where you are."
"Good, because I don't want you ever to move from this spot, okay?"
He pressed his forehead against mine and we closed our eyes and began to kiss.
Our kissing gradually grew more intense and every part of me felt the power of it. His hands were all over me and mine all over him. I couldn't think straight because of the onslaught of feelings and emotions and physical gratification I was experiencing. Suddenly I felt him pick me up by my arms and put me on his lap in one quick maneuver. With his hands all up in my hair and mine digging into his lower back we were about at that point where there was no return. I threw my head back on reflex with all the pleasure he was giving me and his mouth found my neck just as spontaneously.
"Mmm, I want you so much," he mumbled while kissing my neck.
"You can have me," I whispered as I nibbled on his ear.
Oliver responded by undoing my belt on my robe with one hand and then with both hands slipped it off of my shoulders and then ran his hands down the side of my arms. He stopped and just looked at me as he ran the tip of his index finger down my neck and across the top of my chest. I swallowed hard as he began slightly tugging at the top of my camisole and I responded accordingly to him touching my bare skin.
I grabbed his shirt and started to unbutton it. "Why do you still have this on?"
I worked my way down and unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off of him. His bare chest was rippling and more amazing than I remembered, maybe because the look-but-don't-get-to-touch policy was no longer in effect.
"Do you want me?" he whispered seductively.
"Oh, yes - (I sighed breathlessly) - I want you."
He instantly stood up from the couch and took me up with him never losing eye contact. I felt so small to his large frame. I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants and pulled them off of him. He put his hands on my waist and grabbed the bottom of my camisole and lifted it over my head, leaving me just in my panties.
The way he was looking at me and making me feel was making me feel sexy as hell. He suddenly picked me up and my legs straddled around him. He kissed me passionately as he carried me into the bedroom never relinquishing his hold on my lips. He carefully put me down on the bed and stood over me staring longingly at my half naked body.
"Mmm, the things I want to do to you and make you feel," he whispered as he lay down partially on top of me.
He grabbed my right hip as he massaged it deeply before he seized hold of my panties and slowly slid them down my legs. I quivered at the thought of what came next. I was completely naked now and before I could get over the excitement of what I was feeling, I felt his hand slide between my legs and his finger slip inside me. I groaned with pleasure as he lay beside me looking at me as he was touching me.
"Oh, God!" I cried out.
"Mmm, Felicity." Oliver moaned.
God, I love the way he moans my name.
He kissed me deeply as he drove me over the edge as he continued his constant bombardment of intense gratification between my legs. His other hand found my right breast and his thumb began to play with my nipple as his mouth found its way to my left breast. I relished in the extreme satisfaction I felt as his tongue repetitively rolled over and over my nipple while I was squirming underneath him because of how aroused I was. He had my whole body tingling and I wasn't prepared for the erotic intoxication I had fallen under.
The foreplay was relentless in the most incredible way possible. I felt I had orgasmed four or five times before it actually happened because of how it felt when Oliver touched me.
I felt the back of his hand stroke my cheek.
"Hey..." he whispered as I opened my eyes.
"Hey..." I whispered back to him.
"I love you…Felicity." His meaningful words perfected the moment.
"And I love you," I reciprocated as he positioned himself over top of me, his naked body pressing against mine.
"God, I want to be with you," he said while kissing my neck.
"I want to be with you too."
"I just want you to be sure," he said while his kissing intensified.
His concern for my emotional well-being at a time like this was incredibly romantic but not necessary.
"Oh, I'm sure." I lifted my head up to kiss him harder to prove my point.
"I just want to show you how much you mean to me," he said with his eyes fixated on mine.
"Then show me, Oliver," I whispered breathlessly. "I want you so much."
He kissed me intensely and with more passion than I'd ever felt in this body of mine. I didn't even prepare myself for what was coming next because I knew whatever he had in store for me was beyond my wildest dreams.
I truly thought my orgasmic level had met its maximum limit, but the moment I felt him slide slowly inside of me, I moaned realizing I couldn't have been more wrong about that. He looked into my eyes as he saw what effect it had on me and leaned down toward the side of my face and whispered, "You are so unimaginably beautiful."
His tongue claimed my mouth again as I felt him move deeper and deeper inside of me. His rhythmic movement in and out of me had my body in a wild sexual frenzy.
"It feels so good having you inside of me," I said losing my breath.
"Felicity, I never want to stop."
"I don't want you to…ever."
As the man I love made love to me over and over, I realized I had finally gotten everything I had ever wanted but realized it was more than I could have ever imagined.
He made love to me all night…
I lay in bed exhilarated and exhausted next to a sleeping Oliver, just thinking about the orgasm(s), plural, I'd experienced and how I couldn't wait to experience again when he woke me up in the morning. I swore I could still feel myself trembling inside. I had just had the best night of my life and I was contemplating how lucky I was to be there next to him. I thought back to our very first meeting when I was still the I.T. girl and him barging into my life unexpectedly and how everything changed that day. I stroked his sleeping face and exhaled deeply. I knew somehow from the very beginning it was always going to be him. I always felt it. I always knew.
I leaned in and kissed his lips softly before I fell into his waiting arms and quietly whispered:
"You had me at Oliver Queen."
Author Note: I just want to say it's bitter sweet to end this fic, but it was always a journey of Olicity realizing their feelings and acting on them. This is how I always knew it would end. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Not to say that one day I couldn't continue this story from this point in another new fic with its own story because I really loved how Oliver and Felicity found their love and how their characters developed. Time is not my friend and hopefully one day I'll have time to write another one.
Until then, ponder this: Instead of being sad it's the end of my story think of this as The End of Olicity's Beginning. And what a beginning it was...