Disclaimer: Dont own Glee. Dont own Strawberry Swing by Frank Ocean
Seriously, listen to the song while reading!
when we were kids
we hand painted strawberries on a swing
every moment was so precious then
I'm still kicking it
on a strawberry swing
Her hand grazed against the cold metal of the swing, pausing at each word scribbled on the bars in black sharpie. Her thumb ran over the letters before brushing against the stickers just under it. The stickers they'd spent an entire hour assembling one blistering night. She walked over and sat down in the seat, using her feet to push her forward, her hand hanging besides her, cold from the cool spring air blowing between her fingers. His fingers used to fit perfectly with hers. She closed her eyes remembering the times when they'd come here, and sit on the swings and talk, hold hands and share their dreams for what felt like hours.
"I think I want a swing set like this," he'd said as they stared silently up at the sky. She looked to him, stifling the giggle she felt bubbling up her throat at the way his hair blew in the warm summer breeze.
"I want one just like this in my backyard," he continued, meeting her eyes. "Actually, no. I want this swing set. This exact one."
"It's rusty," she'd tried to reason.
He shook his head. "I don't care. This is our swing set. I wanna have it around to remind me of our summer."
"Our swing set," she repeated, looking back up to the sky. "I like the sound of that. But what makes this ours? A bunch of other people could have made this their swing set. We can't take it from them."
He squinted his green eyes at her before releasing her hand and standing up from his swing and walked over to the pole keeping the set upright.
"What are you doing?" she whispered, following behind him and watching as he pulled out a sharpie from his back pocket.
"Making this ours."
He popped the top off of the sharpie and scribbled in his unreadable chicken scratch their names and then drew a wobbly heart around it. He lifted his hand but wrote one last thing as if he remembered something important.
She walked around to the other side of the pole and read it out loud, her eyes glued to the last word.
Her face tightened and she knew tears were bound to fall from her eyes. She looked away, biting her lip.
"Hey," he said, turning her back around. "What's wrong?"
"You wrote forever," she pointed to the word, tears falling down her cheek.
He cupped her face and used the pads of his thumbs to wipe them away. "I know... I meant it. We're forever."
She pulled away from him and shook her head. "We're not. There's always something getting in the way. Last year it was the same thing. You were leaving and now..." She trailed off, using her hand to wipe her eyes.
"And now you're going to college," he finished with a small nod. "Remember what I said last summer when I moved?"
She had remembered. Every single word of what he'd said. But she loved hearing him say it more than she loved thinking about it.
"I said that I was never going to forget you. And I didn't. I never did. Not once. I thought about you every single day. And when I got back and you kept shooting me down, I still thought about you. You're my forever." He reached for her again, this time pushing her hair out of her face. "You will always be my forever."
It seemed like so long ago when she was 17 and in love, spending her summer nights on this rusty swing set, kicking her feet in the dirt and balancing on the edges of the set with his hand in hers, guiding her around it.
cry cry cry even though
that won't change a thing
but you should know
you should hear
that I have loved
I have loved the good times here
and I will miss
our good times here
But now, they were two different people, no longer blinded by young love. She wasnt as naïve and he wasnt as hopelessly romantic. They'd both changed. She'd cried when she'd noticed it. When it had smacked her in the face that he wasnt the same guy and she wasnt the same girl. When she'd seen him walking down the halls with someone else, his hands in hers. The spot where she used to be, now replaced by another. She'd never expected him to wait for her. She just didn't think her forever would be over so soon.
He'd moved on. He'd fallen for someone else, forgotten about her completely, barely even acknowledged her existence. He was no longer hers and yet she was still his, body, soul, heart and mind.
Her tears didn't matter, her sobs went unheard until she had no more tears to give and no more sobs to cry. It wouldn't change anything. Their time was over. Her forever had ended. She wishes she could say she could take it all back, take back every laugh and whisper and kiss they'd shared. Take back her giving him everything and him giving her everything in return.
But she didn't want to take it back. Because every precious moment they'd shared under the stars on their strawberry covered swing, she'd loved them. And she was going to miss every last one of those memories and laughs and secrets told and kept. Every promise and whispered forevers.
She pushed herself on the swing, daydreaming about simpler times when all that mattered was making it home before curfew and looked up, as a figure blocked the glowing moonlight from hitting her face. She blinked a few times, adjusting her eyes.
"Hi," he said nervously, his hands in his coat pocket.
"Hey," she blinked. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing," he chuckled.
"It's spring break," she shrugged.
"Decided not to go to Miami?" he asked with a crooked smile.
The same smile that would make her heart leap out of her chest or make her tackle him with heated kisses. The smile that caused her to realize just how much she loved him. The smile that broke her heart when she saw he was giving it to another. The smile that now, she looked at with fondness, along with the giver.
"I missed home," she said, wrapping her hands around the plastic covered chains of the swing.
He nodded slowly and went to take the swing next to her. "Yeah, me too. New York is great but... I guess I'm always gonna be a small town guy."
"Maybe that's why I keep coming back," she laughed gently.
He shook his head and stared at her. "You're far from small town, Cedes."
She met his eyes for a moment before breaking the intense glare and looking up to the clear sky.
"You still didn't tell me why you're here of all places in Lima to hang out at."
"I always come back to our swing set," he whispered. "Every chance I get."
She nodded silently and dropped her hands from the chain and let them hang by her sides.
They swung in silence, her staring at the sky all the while feeling his eyes on her.
"I missed you," he blurted out, unintentionally. "I'm sorry. I just miss us talking, you know?"
"I missed you too," she replied, lowering her eyes from the sky to look at him. He looked the same but different. More mature maybe. More hardened by the world and the hand it tends to dish out. He wasnt her cherub Sam with a hopeful glint in his eye anymore. And she was sure he thought the same about her. She wasnt the teenage girl with the big personality, trying to push her way through a sea of big personalities. She'd found her place, her reasoning. And she was comfortable.
He bobbed his head at her acknowledgment and turned to stare up at the sky as well.
"You're still my forever," he said, glancing back over at her as their fingers grazed each other's. She pulled away, convincing herself that he would hurt her again. That she'd be willing to make him her forever and he'd give her up again. But then he grabbed her hand, his soft green eyes pleading with hers and she gave in. Her questions would be asked. Why the other girls? Why forget about their forever but right now, she couldn't lie anymore.
She sighed and gave his hand a small squeeze as they swung in sync.
"You're still my forever too." She let go of his hand and stood, shaking her head sadly. "But you and me, our timings always going to be off. Next time it wont be school, or you moving. It'll be something else. And I cant do it anymore. I'm always gonna love you Sam. Probably for the rest of my life. But there's no place for us. Not anymore at least."
She left him and walked off the set, balancing on the same wood plank they used to walk across and talk on. She glanced over her shoulder at him, his eyes red from unshed tears and his hands slowly closing as if realizing the harsh truth of what she'd said. She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned her back to walk to her car.
There wasn't room for you and I
A/N: Dont ask me what this is because I have no idea. I'm crying just a little bit, okay lol. I was listening to Strawberry Swing the Frank Ocean version and I was like damn, this song is sad but happy at the same time, what?! So then I started writing and this happened. Originally I was going to have samcedes end happily but since this one shot goes with canon, Sam doesnt deserve Mercedes in his happy ending. I have no idea what's going on but I remember forever ago on my Tumblr, seeing somewhere that Sam was in New York with Rachel and he looked like Fabio or something. Whatever. This one shot is kinda dedicated to the show too. The way Mercedes can look at Sam with fondness and memories of when she was in love, I look at the show like that because let me tell you, that show brought me joy in times when I had nothing else. And to see it now, it's sad. Season 2 will always be the season I fell in love with Glee and this is my "thanks for the good times we had" story for it.
Anyways, here's this angsty little gem. I hope you cried as much as I did. Make sure you review.