A/N: I know I should be focusing on WIP's and I am, for the most part…though, I haven't touched any Shiz/Nat in a while, due to the fact that I wanted to use this vacation for other projects I've writing. I've been stewing about this one off and on for a while. This is mostly Belldandy centric, it's a two shot fiction that may or may not have a sequel based on it. I do think it would be fun to explore the idea further than the three chapters I've written, but, at the same time, I really want to finish some of my Shiz/Nat works first.
Clearly, I don't own Ah, My Goddess! or Oh, My Goddess!….however you want to say it.
Summer nights were warm, but not unbearably hot, like some people would choose to believe. There were far harsher climates than one ones found upon earth, and Belldandy had experienced a great many of them. Yet, it was earth she chose, the little blue planet full of life and fortune…
Both good and bad.
She considered that, as she lay beside than man she loved, feeling the warm breeze tickle her bare back as it came through the window. If only to preserve her modesty, of which, most other fertility goddesses had little to speak of, she pulled the sheet over herself. She knew Keiichi wouldn't like it if she were on display. Their expression of love was a new thing for both of them, and she felt as if she had to take great care, not to addle his mind.
Her cheeks colored pink at that, as she listened to the gentle beating of his heart. She was always observant about his feelings, sometimes, too observant.
Be careful Holybell. Belldandy thought to herself, knowing her angel could understand her every thought, as they were connected, one and the same. If you wake him, Keiichi will probably be very upset. The angel frowned at her, but continued to hover overhead, gazing upon the sleeping man that she so loved. Then, her perfectly blue eyes looked at her master, and Belldandy heard the question within her mind like a soothing echo, clear as day.
Won't he accept me, as he does you?
The question was a silly one, of course. You know he will, in time. Belldandy admonished gently. He is a mortal man, and those mankind don't have the capacity to fully accept that which is not within their own boundaries. The goddess explained.
That's a nice way of saying he's afraid of me! Her angel shot back, shaking her head. We aren't like him, I understand that, but, can you really accept that he isn't the god you need him to be?
Belldandy smiled a soft, sad little smile. I'm sorry Holybell. Belldandy did fear that her powers, and her status, separated her from Keiichi in such a way that the heavens and hells would take grave offense…they may have passed through the gate of judgment, but, that didn't mean that all of their prayers were answered. You're lonely, aren't you? He can never fully commune with us, the way a god might. He can't sing in heavenly contracts, nor does he possess any sort of angel for himself. That's hard on you, isn't it?
The Holybell merely sighed, and though she too was as nude as Belldandy herself, the wisps of clouds and magical aura kept her at least partially covered. Still, she licked her lips, and materialized fully, coming to sit at Belldandy's side. It was rare for Holybell to do that, and thusly, expose herself so fully in the process, but, as she did, she held no shame. There was no need to feel so, in the company of both her master, and the man she loved so fully. Just like her master, Holybell was both womanly, and beautiful without measure.
You're a fertility goddess, Belldandy. Holybell said, running her fingers through her long, golden tresses. Thus, I am an angel of the same. Is it so odd that I yearn to express such love? Furthermore, is it so wrong to desire him, even if he can't understand me at all? She leaned down, as if to kiss him, but thought better of it. Would he even think to embrace me, the same way he does when he's with you?
Belldandy shook her head. Holybell, it's not wrong to desire him. That's merely what my soul desires most, and you are the reflection of that. My desires are yours too. She reached out to grab her angel's hand. We love him. There is no shame in admitting that. Belldandy had no doubts that Keiichi would probably feel very confused if he were to wake up to see Holybell in such a state. Still, she also knew, in heaven it was a normal thing, common among lovers behind closed doors. If he had an angel, this wouldn't be so odd for you. Yet, he is merely a mortal man, and, that does make some things difficult. Then, she held back a giggle, merely so she didn't wake her sleeping lover. Besides, it wasn't so long ago that he even refused to welcome me into his bed. Mortals are frightened easily by immortal beings, and that includes goddesses.
Even you, Belldandy? The angel asked sadly.
Even me. Belldandy nodded. Keiichi is often afraid, perhaps not of me…but of losing me. He has been rejected so much in his life, and by so many. A frown graced her features. It is unconventional, but, with that said, my relationship with Keiichi is also an oddity that cannot be measured by a heavenly standard. She looked her angel in the eyes. If I were to explain to him that your needs were the same as mine, I do not think he would be so cruel as to deny making love to you, as he does to me.
I couldn't. Holybell said then, silently waving her arms in protest. Even if he would be willing, he wouldn't understand me…we would never commune as only paired angels can…I would not know him, and he would never know me…we can't speak with each other, and you lack a window into his soul because of that! Holybell wanted so much to reach out, to touch the man that rested so soundly. If only he were a god…then, our lives could truly be harmonious.
Belldandy agreed, of course…but mortals were fickle beings. Earth was little more than an apparatus for life, but it was not the only place where such a thing could be found. All of creation had life in it, even barren lands were seeds of the future, or remnants of the past. Heaven was not a perfection. Hell was not a dystopia. There was a complexity to every single thing. Goddesses were only one such complexity, and humans were merely another. Still, they were all miniscule in the grand scheme.
Belldandy knew that.
There are many unfortunate things about earth, Holybell. The goddess said. The lack of gods is one such trial, but, even if there were gods to choose from, we both know I would still choose Keiichi. I would endure anything, simply to be with him…even if that means being unable to commune with him on a spiritual level. Melancholy was something she didn't mind. Actually, contrary to what her sisters believed, she welcomed it. The occasional pang in her heart was a gift. It meant that her world was lavished with many different things. Those emotions spanned so wide a spectrum, she knew they couldn't be measured. Belldandy was happy for that. Even in times where only sadness could be found, even then, she embraced the feeling with tears on her cheeks. She knew however, just how inconsequential the world around her was.
What about in the future, when you are called to heaven? The angel asked. When you must uphold particular duties…when he will be unable to come with us, what then?
It was a fragility at best, awaiting damnation at worst. Belldandy nodded. When that time comes, I will do as I must, because being a Goddess comes before being a lover. It comes with the birthright given to me. Still, I would return to Keiichi as soon as I am able, because that is what our contract implies. That I am never to leave him, and as you well know…we would never want to leave him anyway.
I suppose you are right. The angel said as she disappeared, taking her usual perch back in Belldandy's soul. I would never desire to leave him…even if I am fated to never have a reflection of him for myself.
Perhaps one day, Holybell, but such a blessing will not come to us this night. Belldandy told her now resting angel. In fact, it may never come at all. You may await a day that will never rise to see fruition, and yet even so, I thank you for putting up with such a stubborn mistress such as myself.