Harry was waiting by the apothecary shop front in Diagon Alley when it all went to hell. He had just been waiting for his husband to finish getting the ingredients he needed to and then they were going to grab ice cream at Fortescue's and go home. But the universe had decided to be awful to him.
"Excuse me, but you remind me an awful lot of a friend I used to know. I was wondering if you knew him." A familiar voice asked him. Looking in the window reflection, Harry was horrified to see his once best friends Hermione and Ron. Damn, this wasn't supposed to happen. It had been a risk, but they had needed the excursion and they had hoped that this would be avoided. Without turning around Harry shook his head and tried to send pleading looks through the window, hoping beyond hope that his husband saw his predicament and would rescue him. No such luck.
"Are you sure?" Hermione said, sounding doubtful.
"Yeah, come on. You've gotta know him." Ron persisted. Apparently having enough, Ron grabbed Harry's shoulder and spun him around, effectively exposing Harry. Gasping Ron and Hermione backed up a little, staring at their long lost friend.
"Harry? Is that really you? Where have you been, what happened to you?" Hermione asked, utterly bewildered.
"What the bloody hell mate?" Ron gaped.
Harry had just been standing there grimacing. Well that was 3 years' work down the toilet. What the fuck was he going to do?
"Uh, well yeah it's me. I just decided that I didn't want any attention, I was sick of the press. And I guess I just needed some time away. Sorry I didn't tell you guys, but I really didn't want it to get out about where I was staying." Harry explained, not really lying but sufficiently bending the truth.
In reality he had wanted to get away from the press and he had wanted time away, but it was more because of who he was with than of his accomplishments. His now husband Severus Snape was still disliked by a lot of people, and the news of a former death eater having a relationship with their precious savior would not have gone over well. He also sort of didn't want his friends to try and ruin his relationship. He absolutely loved Severus, and he would protect that no matter what.
"Wait a minute. Is that what I think it is?" Hermione asked. Harry looked to where she was looking which happened to be his left hand. Specifically his ring finger, which of course was adorned with his wedding ring. Well fuck.
"Most likely." Harry sighed, "What do you think it is?"
"Did you get married?" Hermione shrieked. 'Fabulous, shout it to the whole world why don't you.'
"Yes, I did." Harry said, sounding defeated. 'What the hell was taking Sev so long?'
"Who is she?" Ron asked curiously.
"You know 'em, was at school when we were actually." Again not a total lie. 'God Sev, hurry up!' Turning a little, Harry tried to see through the window past the glare of the sun to see if Severus was close to saving him. Hearing a gasp, Harry automatically knew he had made another grievous mistake. Just perfect.
"Harry, are you-" Hermione started to ask. Cutting her off, Harry answered her unfinished question.
"Yes I am. And very happy mind you, so please shut it." Harry snapped, putting a hand on his stomach. This is exactly what they had tried to avoid.
You see, Harry was about 3 months pregnant, with just a little baby bump that could only be seen at certain angles. Obviously Hermione had seen it because of the way he turned. The reason he was waiting out here in the first place while his husband was inside the apothecary was due to the fact that the fumes and smells from certain potions and ingredients could be harmful to the baby. All he wanted was some privacy so he could spend time with his family and not be harassed. Was that too much to ask?
"Harry, what's going on? Who are you with?" Hermione asked, not listening to Harry's warning.
"Mate, come on, explain. We deserve it." Ron said in a disappointed tone. Completely outraged, Harry opened his mouth to berate is ex-best friend, however he never got the chance as he was interrupted by a firm hand settling on his shoulder. 'Ha, you're all screwed now!' Harry thought triumphantly.
"Contrary to your belief Mr. Weasley, but Harry doesn't owe you anything. He saved all of Wizarding Britain from Voldemort, more than anything you have done for him. So although your pea-sized brain seems to think harassing my husband is a good idea, I can assure you it is not. In fact, I can certainly guarantee that if you continue on the path that you are going down that you will come out of the ordeal with several pieces of your anatomy missing that I'm sure Miss Granger will miss. However I find no problem disappointing her has she is equally at fault. So, if you dunderheads would kindly back the hell off of my husband I'm sure it would benefit your future well-being immensely." Severus snarled in a quiet deadly voice much like the one he used when scolding idiotic potions' students.
Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione were standing dumbfounded, staring at their ex-professor. Harry looked up at his lover and mock frowned a little.
"What took you so long? I was ambushed!" Harry pouted. Severus chuckled, bending down and kissing Harry's forehead.
"I'm sorry, I got distracted. Putting me in an apothecary is as bad as putting you in a quidditch store, love." Severus smiled down at his lover, pulling him closer to him. Harry smiled and snuggled into his husband's grasp.
"What is this?" Hermione demanded. Harry groaned, glaring at her from his place against Severus' side.
"This is my husband, obviously. We decided to take a trip out, clearly a mistake on our part." Harry explained, rolling his eyes. "For the supposed brightest witch of her year you sure are slow."
"You're gay?!" Ron blurted out.
"How observant, really your astuteness astounds me." Severus drawled. Harry giggled, wrapping his arms around his man.
"Can we leave? I really don't want to do this." Harry sighed.
"Of course, anything you want love." Severus said sweetly. Turning toward the gaping couple, Severus' demeanor completely changed. No longer happy and caring, the Severus glaring at them was the dreaded dungeon bat from Hogwarts once more. "Now you two listen, and you listen well. I will protect what's mine with my life. So you two get it straight in those muddled up heads of yours. Harry. Is. Mine. If you insist to bother him you will quickly find your lives spiraling into a pit of despair and misery of such horror that you didn't even think it possible. Do you understand me? I protect what's mine."
And with that the unlikely couple apparated away, leaving the petrified pair behind.