Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.
Pairing: Zoro X Robin, plus a surprise pairing in the end (though it's more one sided than anything)
Warning: Intended OOC-ness.
Author's Note: I feel bad . I forgot to publish this last week, so here it is. I apologize, Bepo style.
Battered and bruised Luffy apologized to his crewmates, bowing low on the ground, mostly to Zoro. Nami and the others had joined in the swordsman in pummeling their helpless Captain, for it seemed that to him it was more of a game.
"We were so worried about Robin you jerk!" Chopper managed to say, while Nami and Usopp nodded.
"Oh yeah" Luffy suddenly said "We still have to get Robin!"
And so once again they had forgotten the archaeologist.
"She's in there" Crocodile said, pointing at the big heavy doors "It's not locked."
A vein popped in Zoro's forehead "It's not locked?"
Crocodile shrugged "Didn't feel the need to."
Grumbling, the swordsman pushed on the heavy doors, throwing them open. They slammed on the walls, creating a monstrous sound that fazed only Usopp, Nami and Chopper. Kalifa, meanwhile, was writing on her clipboard, she was assessing any damages done that might need fixing.
Zoro walked in before the dust even settled, and the straw hats followed.
But before they even reached the doors, they heard Zoro shout "What the hell?!"
"I am sorry Miss All-Sunday." Miss Goldenweek said, setting aside her picnic.
Robin looked at her thoughtfully "For kidnapping me?"
Miss Goldenweek shook her head "It was all your captain's plan."
Robin's eyes widened "Luffy?"
"Yeah, he asked Mr. 0 to kidnap you because so the swordsman can save you." Goldenweek explained, returning the leftover sandwiches in her picnic basket.
For the first time, Robin was lost for words. She knew her Captain was far smarter than he would let on, but for him to be able to come up with such an elaborate plan was something Robin never imagined possible. Luffy was a head on sort of guy, not a planning sort of guy. Much like a certain swordsman.
"Then what are you apologizing for, Miss Goldenweek?" Robin asked, finishing her tea.
Goldenweek smiled "Well, Mr. 0 really does like you, Miss All-Sunday."
Robin's vision faltered. She could now see two Goldenweeks smiling at her.
"So I hope you don't mind if I just take you back to our ship." She finished clearing up the picnic, and stood up. Robin tried standing up, but she felt so sleepy.
Miss Goldenweek smiled wider, seeing the older woman fall down. Surely Mr. 0 would be happy now.
The straw hats ran in the room, only to find Zoro in it, with a chair in the middle of the room and a checkered picnic blanket near it. The swordsman was furiously looking around the perimeter of the room, trying to find Robin.
"She isn't even here!" he shouted, charging at Crocodile. But he was blocked by Kaku.
"I left her there" Crocodile drawled, going inside. He saw the picnic blanket and scowled "Miss Goldenweek." he muttered under his breath.
"0-chan!" Bon Clay sang, as he twirled inside "1-chan says there's someone boarding our ship!"
The crowd by the docks had already dispersed from the earlier events, and the sparring number that were left scurried away to let the assortment of powerful people to walk by. The powerful aura emitting from the green haired swordsman was enough to send people away, add to that the ones from the straw hat boy, a blonde man in a suit, and the man smoking a cigar.
However, only the swordsman walked near the ship.
Miss Goldenweek stood defiantly on the deck of the All-Sunday. She wore her painter's disguise, complete with the mustache, and was glaring at the newcomers.
"Oi" Zoro said, unsheathing his sword "The game's over, give me back Robin."
"No." She said, sticking her tongue out to him.
Zoro, who was already irritated by the whole ordeal, was becoming more and more furious. "She's going to marry me, so give her back!"
"No she isn't, and that's final." Goldenweek said, she noticed Crocodile standing by Luffy and Sanji and waved at him "Mr. 0!" She called in a sing song voice "Mr. 0!"
Crocodile bit his cigar "What?!"
"I got your bride here!"
"She's my bride!" Zoro shouted back. "Tch, I don't have any time for this." He quickly unsheathed all three swords and readied in the santoryu position. "If you don't give me back Robin, I'm going to sink your ship!"
"You won't, because she's on this ship and you'll end up killing her!"
Zoro ground his teeth in frustration, knowing that the girl had called on his bluff.
"What do you want, brat?" He shouted.
"For Mr. 0 to marry Miss All-Sunday!" She shouted back, resolute.
"She's Nico Robin and she's my bride!"
Zoro could feel his patience disappearing "You know, I'm a very good swimmer." And with that, slashed the Miss All-Sunday in two.
Crocodile's cigar fell from his agape mouth, while Luffy laughed hysterically. The rubber captain was able to wrap his arm around Miss Goldenweek before she even fell, and pulled her to safety.
Sanji, on the other hand, was about to attack Zoro for putting in danger two lovely ladies, but the swordsman was too focused on the falling debris to deal with the incensed cook.
Zoro could see Robin, wearing a voluminous white gown, falling into the water.
He jumped in after her, and among the debris, was able to pull her up the dock, panting heavily, her drenched gown adding so much weight. She was unconscious, but breathing. Zoro was about to administer CPR when suddenly, Luffy started attacking him.
"What the hell Luffy!' he said, as Crocodile attacked him from the other side.
"I'm so sorry Zoro, I can't control it!" The rubber boy said, trying hard not to hit his friend.
"Togyu no Aka" Miss Goldenweek simply said, her paint brush still in her hand "They're the bulls, and you're their target."
"Damn it!" He shouted, as Sanji joined in the attacks.
"This is all your fault, you shitty marimo!" The cook shouted, as his flaming leg collided with Shussui.
"Why did you even let her paint at you, ero-cook!" he shouted angrily, throwing off the cook. He was having a hard time fighting all three of them at the same time. Zoro was a powerful swordsman, but the combination of the three of them was proving to be challenge.
"Shit" he muttered to himself, noticing that some of his stitches from his fight with Mihawk was loosening up. It had been barely a week since he attained the title, he definitely is not in the shape to be fighting three monstrous fighters.
"You should just stop now and admit defeat" Miss Goldweek said, as Sanji was able to land a kick on his abdomen. Zoro coughed blood, as Crocodile swarmed him with his sand, impairing him enough for Luffy to send a barrage of punches into his form.
Zoro flew to a near building, crashing through the wall, dust erupting from the rubble.
"Zoro!" Luffy managed to shout, as he was pulled back into the color trap.
"Shitty marimo" Sanji said, as his leg involuntary readied itself for another attack.
"Make him quit, Straw hat" Crocodile said, forming a big mallet with his sand hands "Or else Goldenweek is going to make sure he's dead."
The dust settled, and Zoro stood by the rubble. His wounds were opening, and blood was slowly seeping from his body, panting heavily. But he stood there, a demonic grin plastered on his face. You aren't going to defeat me as easy as that."
Luffy, Sanji, and Crocodile all readied their attacks.
"Gomu gomu no-"
Buckets of water fell on Luffy, Sanji and Crocodile, washing away the color trap. Crocodile, being in sand form, also stiffened at the contact, while Sanji, unfortunately, had the bucket land on his head, rendering him unconscious. Zoro, in exhaustion from his reopened wounds and the former onslought of attacks, fell to floor, his breath coming in raspy, just in time for the rest of the Straw Hats to come running to the harbor. Miss Goldenweek was incapacitated, with several arms holding her in place.
Robin stood up, with her hands on her waist, her gown still soaked, and glared at her nakama.
"Robin!" Nami and Chopper said in unison "You're okay!"
They ran up to her, but she held up a hand, gesturing them to stop.
She looked at all of them, her face a picture of calmness "Explain yourself."
"Well" Luffy started, shaking his legs to dry his shorts "Everyone wanted to see if Zoro really has feelings for you, so we thought about making you a princess to see if he does."
To which Nami and everyone else nodded.
"And then your idiotic captain called in a favor to make sure that your crew was fine with you and the swordsman getting together." Crocodile said, finally able to move, albeit still impaired.
To which everyone, including the now released Miss Goldenweek and newly arrived members of the now sunken ship known as the All-Sunday, nodded.
"We were just trying to protect you from that marimo's deluded ideas" Sanji, who was rubbing the bump on his head, said "All for my mellorine~~"
Robin, both hands back on her waist, glared. Something she rarely does, and something she usually reserved for enemies, especially enemies who disregard the value of history. "And why hasn't any of you considered my feelings on this?"
The blank faces she was given confirmed her suspicions. She delicately rubbed her temples. She knew her crew was the reckless kind.
She sighed, but smiled at them "It's very sweet of all of you to try and protect me from whatever conclusions you drew, however I think I can handle such decisions by myself."
Robin walked to Zoro, who had stopped bleeding but was still breathing quite heavily. She knelt down by him, and smiled "Zoro-san" she said, cocking her head to the side.
"Marry me" he said between breaths, keeping his eyes on hers.
"Of course" she said, leaning in close to kiss his cheek.
He grinned widely "Good."
And in his mind, he placed a checkmark next to the Marry Robin section, which meant that he only has one more goal to go.
The unofficial, yet official to them because they're pirates even if the government won't acknowledge their marriage, slightly impromptu wedding went through without a hitch. The celebration happened on the deck of the Sunny, with the famous Straw Hat captain presided over the event. The flower girl, who first refused the honor, pouted for most of the time, muttering about how Miss All Sunday and Mr. 0 should have been the ones walking down the aisle, while the ring bearer kept calling everyone who found him cute a jerk or a bastard.
Guests include the Straw Hat Pirates, of course; a former Shichibukai along with three former Baroque works members, one wearing an elaborate red gown; former Cipher Pol agents; and the former greatest swordsman in the world and his pink haired companion, for the former greatest swordsman in the world was on the island after his defeat barely a week ago, and his pink haired companion was there to take him home.
The best man was angry at the groom, while the groom only chose the best man to rub his face in the fact that the groom got the pretty archaeologist, while the maid of honor kept them in place with her fists.
The blushing bride only smiled at their antics, as she said her vows, and kissed her husband, making him blush redder than her.
The reception also went swimmingly well, hosted by the long nosed sniper, with the entertainment provided by the skeletal musician, the blue haired cyborg, and the pink haired companion of the former world's greatest swordsman on her pink guitar. Of course the food had been provided by the best man, who also baked an amazing three tiered wedding cake.
And the so the party went well through the night, with the bride and groom, correction, with the husband and wife never letting go of each other as they twirled under the moonlight to some slow song.
Nami smiled watching them, with Chopper and Miss Goldenweek beside her, the two younger ones yawning. Kaku and Crocodile were also at the table, nursing tankards of sake in their hands.
"I'm really impressed with Luffy" she told the giraffe fruit user "He actually got you to come here, even commissioned you a ship that would make us think you were really after Robin."
Kaku looked at her curiosly.
"I mean he made you ride a ship called the All-Sunday with a Robin figurehead to make it seem like he's (she gestured towards Crocodile) obsessed with her and make it more dramatic."
"Well actually" Kaku said, scratching his nose "The Miss All-Sunday really was our ship."
"We're technically called the Sunday pirates" Kaku said with a blush, while Miss Goldenweek added "He really was obsessed with her."
"Well at least now we can update the figurehead" Crocodile proclaimed, undeterred "Make the hair longer, and make her bosoms a bit more suppler." He grinned wide "And we'll name it Demon Child this time."
Nami and Chopper looked at each other disbelievingly, as the former Shichibukai relayed the plans for the new ship to his shipwright, who was taking notes albeit reluctantly, while the painter girl just nodded in approval.
Crocodile sat on the edge of the harbor, his cigar running low. He was watching the horizon, in the direction where the Sunny sailed off to, when long slender arms wrapped themselves around his shoulder.
"Sir Crocodile." A woman whispered by his ear.
He was surprised and turned around to see Nico Robin "I thought you chose him?"
She smiled up at him, placing a hand on his cheek "It was the wrong decision."
Crocodile grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist "Was it?"
She leaned in close and kissed his chin "I want to be your queen, Sir Crocodile~" She whispered, in a seductive manner.
Meanwhile, watching them were the former CP9 members along with Daz Bones and Miss Goldenweek. They were seated some meters away, on a checkered picnic blanket.
"Shouldn't we tell him?" Kaku asked his companions.
"Nah" Daz said, eating a slice of cake in one bite "Look how happy he is."
"Besides, it's not really in our job description" Lucci added, giving Hatori a bit of his lemon cake.
Kalifa shrugged, drinking her tea "It's sexual harassment. For the boss."
Kaku sighed, and continued on watching.
"Want some more cake?" Goldenweek asked, handing him a slice of chocolate cake.
Kaku smiled and accepted, but still he wonders what would happen to all of them when their boss finds out that it was actually Mr. 2 he was currently making out with.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! And yes, Luffy was the darn mastermind all along lol. This was fun!