Chapter One:

The evening air was fresh, and as Sanji stood in the dimming daylight on the deck, looking out into the distance at the sunset he couldn't help but lament over the fact that he still hadn't managed to find a girlfriend, or even a fling for that matter. He placed a cigarette to his lips and lit it before shoving his hands into his pockets as a chill breeze washed over him, sending a shiver down his spine. He was cold but just wanted to be alone at the moment, and if he went inside he knew that would never happen. The alcohol from earlier in the evening was still strong in his system, so at least that took off some of the initial chill.

Where was he going wrong? He was always courteous, polite, would do anything for a woman and yet nobody seemed to like him in that way back. He would even be okay if a woman was to take advantage of his niceness, at least then he'd have a starting point. It wasn't necessarily the sex- though that was a big part of it- that he wanted; he just was fed up with the fact that he hadn't even had one girlfriend, partner, fling, you name it, yet. He wanted to experiment! He wanted to have fun and see what the fuss is about. He wanted the chance to break a few girls' hearts! Sanji shook his head at this last thought. Damn it. He just wanted to build on his lack of experience...

Earlier that day:

'So Zoro, you've been laid, right?' Nami sat up straight and turned to look over towards Zoro with interest. They had had a few drinks and the topic had led to their personal lives, or at least the personal lives they had before joining the crew. Zoro snorted, keeping his eyes closed.

'Yes, I've been laid.' He was laying nonchalantly with his hands behind his head on the grassy floor of the Sunny, whilst Robin, Nami, Sanji and Frankie were sat in chairs under a beach umbrella to keep the burning sun off of them. Robin unsurprisingly had her head immersed in a book, but looked up occasionally when the conversation turned interesting, and Frankie was asleep, snoring softly. Brook and Luffy were entertaining Usopp and Chopper at the back of the ship, leaving the calmer members of the crew to talk amongst themselves.

'Alright, Mr. Casanova,' she scoffed, 'so then at least give us a number if you're not going to elaborate.'

Zoro opened one eye and frowned at her.

'What are you talking about?'

'How many women? Just purely out of curiosity.' Zoro stayed silent for a few more moments, his open eye drifting around the group.

'Ha! Unless you're lying about being with anybody in the first place,' piped up Sanji, smirking at him.

Zoro scowled at him and took the comment as a personal challenge to his sincerity.

'Double figures for women and...' Zoro started before going silent. He closed his eyes again and cleared his throat, not saying anything else, hoping that nobody noticed that slip of the tongue. He should be so lucky.

'And?' Nami had sat bolt upright, her eyebrows raised as far as they would go. The three members of the crew who were listening were looking at him now with peaked interest. 'What? You've been with guys?'

'A guy,' he replied, making sure to emphasise the 'a'.

'What? So you like men?' asked Sanji, raising an eyebrow at him. Zoro flopped forward resting his hands on his knees and sighed.

'No, I don't like men.'

'So why-'

'See, this is why I didn't want to tell you guys. I was drunk and the guy in question challenged me. I don't back down from a challenge.'

'Even in the bedroom?' asked Nami.

'Especially in the bedroom.' Zoro smirked at her, before lying back down on the grass.

The three crew members in his company gaped at him as these words sunk in, but before they could ask any more questions Zoro spoke again.

'So what about you Sanji? Let's not make this all about me.'

Nami turned her head to look at Sanji, her eyes brightening. Zoro was inwardly relieved that he'd managed to steer the conversation away from himself. Sanji blushed, but covered it up with his enthusiastic charm.

'How can I think of other women when I am in the presence of two amazing ladies like Nami-swan and Robin-Chwan!'

Nami rolled her eyes letting out a sigh. She was used to Sanji's besotted nature by now and had just learnt to let it wash over her. Zoro let out a snort that was none too discreet causing Sanji to glare over at him, Robin taking this opportunity to carry on reading her book.

'Oi, what was that for Marimo? You got something to say?'

'Nope,' replied Zoro simply. Sanji continued to glare, before getting to his feet.

'Well in which case I am going to get these two lovely ladies a drink. And don't even ask moss-head 'cos you can get your own!'

Sanji turned on his heels and strutted towards the kitchen, silently dwelling on the snort from Zoro and what he'd meant by it. Maybe it was just because of the way he was talking to Nami and Robin, Sanji pondered. He frowned. But then again he always talked to them like that so surely Zoro'd be used to it by now. Damn it. The last thing Sanji wanted was for Zoro to find out and take the piss out of him for never having a relationship of any sort.

As Sanji thought about the earlier exchange of secrets, or should he say the giving of secrets by one green-haired egotist, his hands curled into fists in his pockets. He felt as though he'd lost yet another competition they held with one another, and the thought just made him angry. He hated to lose to the shitty swordsman, but how on earth was he going to catch up on something like that, especially considering his track record for picking up women. And the bastard had even been with a guy! God only knows what this man was like in the bedroom!

Sanji huffed, turning and pushing the door open into the kitchen. He needed another drink. All the other crew members were probably sat around in the aquarium bar, meaning that Sanji could go into this place, his haven, in peace. He opened the refrigerator and picked up a bottle of sake. This wasn't his normal choice of drink as it tended to go straight to his head, but he couldn't see anything else and was too lazy at this precise moment to open another keg.

He sat at the table, not bothering to turn the light on, and took a deep swig. He winced as the liquid left a burning sensation down the back of his throat as he swallowed, but shook it off and took another swig.

Suddenly the door behind Sanji opened and he stilled, not bothering to turn round, listening hard to try and identify the intruder. He heard heavy footsteps and the clanking of he knew to be sheathed swords. Great. Zoro stomped into Sanji's line of vision, unaware of the cook, and opened the refrigerator. Sanji watched as he began emptying the contents of the fridge into his arms. The cook frowned. So unrefined. Sanji took another swig of sake, which made a sloshing sound inside the bottle, causing Zoro to still in his movements. Zoro turned looking for the source to the noise he'd just heard, and his eyes rested on Sanji.

'Jesus!' Zoro flinched slightly with surprise. 'What the fuck are you sitting there in the dark for?'

Zoro should have known seeing as there was a thick smell of cigarettes in the air. His eyes fell on the ashtray on the table which must've had about twelve cigarette ends in it. Sanji took yet another swig of the sake.

'Scare you, did I, Marimo?'

Zoro looked at the sake that was in the cooks hand and then back to the cook. His face was in shadow but Zoro could still make out by the sound of his voice that the sake was definitely going to his head. What the hell was up with him? Sanji never usually touches the stuff.

'Well I can definitely say I didn't expect you to be sat in the dark on your own drinking sake. What the hell is up with you, cook?'

'Mind your damn business,' retorted Sanji, lifting the bottle of sake to his lips one more time. Zoro turned and dumped the contents of his arms onto the table and quickly swiped the sake out of Sanji's hand, and before the cook had a chance to put up a fight, Zoro downed it.

'Oi you shitty bastard! What the fuck did you do that for?' Zoro slammed the bottle down on the table, resting his hands on it and looking Sanji square in the eyes.

'If I hadn't have done that I would have come back in an hour or so to find you comatose on the fucking floor. And I also think it's bad manners to throw away booze, and so considering my tolerance for alcohol-'

'You're one to talk about bad manners!' Sanji stood up, the sound of his chair being forced back ringing loud in their ears, the rage building inside him.

Zoro and Sanji glared at each other for a few moments, before Zoro straightened up and hit the nail straight on the head, nodding at the empty bottle.

'Has this got anything to do with the conversation we had earlier today?'

Sanji's rage faltered a little as his eyes widened. How the hell did he figure that out so fast?

'I have no idea what you're talking about,' Sanji answered, a little too quickly. The second he said these words he knew that they were probably the wrong ones to choose, as they indicated that Sanji knew exactly what Zoro was talking about. Zoro smirked, folding his arms.

'So you're annoyed that this 'shitty swordsman' has managed to bed infinitely more lovers that you have, eh cook?'

Sanji's blood boiled at these words, and he lunged a kick at Zoro's head. Unfortunately, Zoro did indeed have a high tolerance for alcohol and Sanji, on the other hand, did not. Zoro dodged the kick and proceeded to slam Sanji into the planked wall with his forearm held firmly across Sanji's upper chest.

'You are in no position to be picking a fight with me in your condition, cook,' Zoro growled through clenched teeth.

Sanji could feel Zoro's breath on his face, and was slightly pleased with himself that he'd managed to wind the swordsman up. Unfortunately the cook did become aware that with the sake running through his blood he was probably no match for Zoro at this moment in time. He felt slightly helpless at being held there by Zoro but to be honest he didn't really to care. He looked into the livid features of the man pinning him against the wall and began to wonder about all the things that this man knew that Sanji didn't.

'Teach me.'

Sanji spoke with venom in his words, causing Zoro to loosen his hold. Some of the anger fell from Zoro's features and was now replaced by confusion at the cook's words.

'What the fuck are you suggesting?'

Zoro spoke with a menacing tone; he had an idea what the cook just proposed to him but before he beat the shit out of the bastard for it he wanted to be sure.

Sanji smirked.

'Teach me,' he repeated, but this time combined his words with a thrust of his hips. Zoro gritted his teeth again as he repeated in slamming Sanji hard again into the wall. Sanji winced as his head hit the wood hard and brought up his hands to hold onto Zoro's punishing hold.

'Do you think I'm some sort of slut or something you perverted bastard?! Do you really think that I'd stoop so low as to bed anybody who proposes themselves to me?!'

'Are you saying I'm not good enough for you, you arrogant bastard?' Sanji choked out.

Zoro grinned wickedly.

'Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, cook.'

Sanji used all the strength he had to shove Zoro away from him. He felt slightly embarrassed to be rejected so quickly by the swordsman, especially since he could probably do a lot worse. However, he knew how to get under Zoro's skin.

'What? You backing down from a challenge?'

Zoro brought his hand up to the hilt of Wado Ichimongi, sliding it slowly out of its sheath. Sanji held his breath, unsure what the swordsman was about to do. He didn't realise the taunt would make Zoro this angry. Zoro slowly swung the blade, stopping when it was lined up with Sanji's neck. Zoro grinned menacingly.

'You are going to regret those words.'

Sanji realised that the pain in his head was suddenly not mixing well with the amount of sake he'd just drank. He turned his head raising a hand to cover his mouth. Zoro lowered the sword slightly cocking his head to the side to watch Sanji closely. Two seconds later Sanji had hunched over and brought up the entirety of the alcohol he had consumed in the past half an hour.

Zoro sighed, putting his sword away and reached down to pick Sanji up.

'You're a pain in my ass, cook!'