(AN: Hey there, so in case you don't know or read much of my stuff I'm a very on-off fan fiction writer who has recently decided to come back into vogue, and whilst I do a fair bit of serious multi-chaptered work I also love to write some fun stuff too! A few years back I wrote a User Guide for Count Dooku in Star Wars and had lots of fun with that, so now I've decided to try one for Spidey, since Marvel is one of my favourite fandoms and Spider-Man one of my all time favourite fictional characters, and since he's soon to return to his body (though I've enjoyed Otto being in the driver's seat for a while) and with the incoming second Amazing Spider-Man film, I figured I'd get this up – in several parts as some of the latter sections are presently being finalised. Anyway, enough of me, so please enjoy this long gestating User Guide to Marvel's most enduring hero... Spider-Man! Thanks to for some basic physical stats and further character information, incidentally.)
The User Guide/Manual to the Spider-Man (Peter Parker) Unit
Copyright Merry Marching Marvel LTD
(Excelsior'ing Your World Since 1939)
Hello and thank you for your purchase of the Peter Parker/Spider-Man Unit! We at the MMM hope you enjoy your newfound purchase and hope that it marks the start of a new and exciting experience for both you and your Unit. For your enjoyment and safety we ask that you read all of the following materials below, both to get the most out of your Spider-Man Unit but also to make sure neither of you get hurt! So read on true believers... and EXCELISOR!
Unit Technical Specifications
Name: Peter Benjamin Parker (Spider-Man)
Type: Human Male (Irradiated with Spider DNA into Genetic Meta-Human)
Manufacturers: Merry Marching Marvel LTD (NYC)
Weight: 165 lbs
Eye Colour: Hazel
Hair Colour: Brown
Place of Manufacture: Queens, New York City, New York
Age: Errrrrrrrrrr... Teenaged... Twentysomething... Ok, we've not sure. Young. But Not Young Young. Kinda Sorta.
Your Peter Parker Unit comes with all of the following items:
1 x Wardrobe of Nerdish Yet Strangely Stylish Clothing (Age Suited)
1x Set of Brainy Specs (Perfect for looking dorkish enough and not much else. Upon activation of Spider Abilities these will be pretty much moot anyway. Unfortunately Peter hasn't the Seriously Able to Hide in Plain Sight Using Glasses Subroutine programmed into our rival company's bestselling 'Super', so he'll have to wear a mask while super hero'ing.)
1 x Radioactive Spider Unit (Handle with Extreme Caution! If bitten by Spider Unit do NOT assume you have Spider Powers, contact the MMM immediately and wait for a biohazard team to test you for Meta Human Properties.)
1 x Prototype Masked Costume (Perfect for wrestling cocky saps in the ring for three minutes or angrily dealing with uncle murderers. Your unit will want something more fancy after the odd feat of strength and fame though.)
2 x Default Red-Blue Spider-Man Costumes and Masks (One's bound to get battle damaged. Additional coloured costumes, Spider Armour and sewing lessons sold separately.)
2 x High Tech Web Shooters with adjustable settings (An Organic Webbing subroutine can be bought from us as part of 'The Other' package. Just expect some people to get ticked off.)
1 x Spider Signal (For... showing the bad guys you're there? Yeah we have no idea about this thing either.)
6 x Spider Tracers (Designed to latch onto your enemies or transport for easy tracking thanks to the Spider Sense Routine your Unit has. Your Peter Parker Unit can make more of these, just set him to Nerdy Mode when in the Lab. Alternatively these can be purchased, and special variants can be designed by among your Spider-Man Unit's more brainy ally units e.g. Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Hank Pym etc.)
1 x Daily Bugle Backpack Sachet with Press Pass, Photo Gear and Notepads (Alternatively if you have ordered him preset in Schoolteacher or HORIZON Labs Mode we can ship a set of teacher's or lab tech equipment instead. The Ultimate or Garfield Units (see below for Variants) have been programmed as younger Units and so both come with scruffy schoolbag and text books.)
1 x Basic Bedroom/Scruffy Apartment Chemistry Lab for Chemical Analysis
Aunt May's, Spider-Mobiles, Girlfriends and Super Villain Units all sold separately.
To Activate the Peter Parker Unit simply do the following steps:
1. Remove the Unit from packaging. Switch on and introduce yourself as his best friend/science partner/love interest (delete as needed).
2. Tell Unit that there is a Science Demonstration for Radioactivity/DNA Enhancement test/Top Secret OSCORP facility (delete as needed) nearby. The nerd mode in him won't be able to resist.
3. Set up Radioactive Spider Unit close to Unit and retreat.
4. The Radioactive Spider Unit should bite the Peter Parker Unit on the hand; wait for Unit to show signs of unusual strength, endurance and speed. Common signs include leaping from speeding cars, climbing up walls and ceilings and enhanced vision without the use of nerd specs. Unit may suffer a brief period of sickness and desire for heaps of food. Including Aunt May's Meat Loaf. Crazy, I know.
5. Once ready present Unit with Spider-Man costume. If Unit is unconvinced contact the MMM as soon as possible and we will send a Burglar Unit (with an Uncle Ben Unit if you do not have one) to shoot your Uncle Ben Unit. The Uncle Ben Unit should be able to help activate the critical 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility' Subroutine for your Peter Parker Unit before ceasing to function. With these steps your Spider-Man unit is ready to be a hero!
Your Peter Parker Unit comes with an array of well designed default programmes and can undertake several different functions. These include:
Need a science problem to be explained in as complex and nerdy a manner as possible? Can't afford a Reed Richards Unit? Whilst not tooled with all the money and resources of the Fantastic Four's primary Unit you will find that your Peter Parker Unit is more than capable of reaching Big Bang Theory levels of nerdiness if he gets excited about a science project.
Warning: Be advised that prolonged exposure to a Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Henry Pym or Hank McCoy Unit might cause your Peter Parker Unit's nerd functions to reach levels which regular intellect set Units and customers like yourself can find unbearable. To fix keep him away from all science based functions and have him undertake some normal interaction, ideally with a Aunt May unit or one of the Unit's possible love interests (see below).
Super powered villain on the loose? Dangerous threats to your home town or city? If your home has enough high rise buildings and poles, colourful characters and a serious crime problem then your Spider-Man Unit is pretty much perfect for the job!
Warning: Be advised that your Spider-Man Unit is traditionally ideal for street level threats – cosmic invasions, supernatural incursions and other more 'kooky' antics are advised to be tackled by other Units, or at least to be on standby to assist your Spidey Unit. In a cosmic based crisis your Unit's emergency 'Captain Universe' mode can be enabled to provide some support, but this mode will short circuit with overuse. Despite your Unit's constant usage of the Super Hero functions you must expect criticism of his actions by certain Units due to the 'Parker Luck' subroutine (see below).
Daily Bugle Photographer
This will be the default occupation when not super hero'ing for your Peter Parker Unit. Need quick cash? Able to accept having an excessively greedy, critical and arrogant boss for your Unit? The Daily Bugle occupation provides an ideal smoke screen for your Spider-Man Unit and yourself as taking pictures of your Unit's heroic adventures will gain a strong, if variable, level of income. Use of this mode also provides your Unit with interaction with the Betty Brant, Robbie Robertson and Phil Urich Units which can give a suitable friend list for your Unit (and just about evens out interaction with the J Jonah Unit).
If above a graduation level setting and if you are keen to explore alternative occupation settings for your Peter Parker Unit, especially if on the married setting, the Schoolteacher setting is a perfect choice! Your Unit will be fully capable of teaching young students the values of science and might well with enough practice be considered one of the 'cool teachers'! This mode may result in occasional damages to school rooms as a result of your Unit's alternative occupation, especially if the Registration setting was checked (see Trouble Shooting below).
HORIZON Labs Worker
One of the most recent occupation settings for your Peter Parker Unit! This occupation allows your Peter Parker unit extensive interaction with fellow minded science Units such as Max Modell, Grady Scraps and Bella Fishbach, and the perfect place to secretly develop new upgrades for your Spider-Man Unit's suits and gadgets.
Warning: We at the MMM cannot be held responsible if your Peter Parker Unit is corrupted by an Otto Octavius Unit and who in turn on the Superior Spider-Man setting ruins all your Unit's relations with HORIZON and blows up the labs. Still, there's always Parker Industries, right?
Regardless of your Unit's occupations this will be one of its primary concerns, to see that the Aunt May Unit is safe and secure in all matters. It is important to recognise that one of the critical subroutines for your Unit is the Aunt May Unit's safety. Incidents such as ill health can upset or worry your Unit and affect its ability to fight crime, and any attempted violence against your Aunt May Unit, such as kidnapping, can lead to highly aggressive outbursts from your Unit. To ensure these don't happen arrange regular check-ins with your Aunt May Unit. If available consider investing in a Jonah Jameson Senior Unit for added protection.
Peter Parker Units are capable of cleaning themselves and do it well, though they can occasionally via busy lifestyles forget to. Ensure that your Unit manages to clean up twice a day or risk bad social parameters with fellow Units.
Feeding & Drinking
Spider-Man Units often eat on the go. Expect to find your Unit hanging upside down on a roof or side of a building with a bagel and a Cup'o'Joe at 3am. It is wise to invest in an Aunt May Unit to provide proper sustenance fluids for your Peter Parker Unit – wheat cakes are highly recommended. Alternatively have them raid the Avenger fridge for cold Pizza. Just don't let your Wolverine/Logan Unit see them do it. There will be blood. In regards to alcohol, your Unit does not tend to respond well to it, so avoid excessive quantities if you wish to avoid awkward situations with female roommate Units.
The Hero Mode can mean varied hours for your Spider-Man Unit, coupled with the Photographer/School Teacher/HORIZON Labs Worker/Student mode they will have in their occupation file this can mean your Unit may often show signs of wear which other unaware Units will take for slacking or lateness. Ensure your Unit gets six to eight hours of sleep mode a day. If he is unwilling and you have a Mary Jane or Black Cat Unit to hand, simply put her in Hey Tiger/Hey Spider Mode and he'll be off to that bed in a flash. Though strictly speaking they may not end up on the sleep setting that way.
Dating and Flirting (If Not on Married Setting)
Peter Parker Units may become depressed and distant if not within a relationship with a Unit of the opposite gender. However if in a relationship with another Unit (see possible Love Interests section below) your Spider-Man Unit may be pressed depending on whether that Unit is aware of his alter ego and responsibilities or not. Despite this feature, datable Units might tire of being 'blown off' in any case. Try to ensure that your Peter Parker Unit has at least one to two dates a week to burn off stress and keep love interest Units happy. Team Ups don't count. Your Spider-Man Units are fully capable of flirting with any Super Heroine Unit, though his one-liner and quibbling modes can often irritate certain Units. If your Peter Parker Unit is on the Married setting these functions will be easier to handle (though expect Black Cat Units to flirt with him regardless, it's the way she rolls).
(PTO for Unit Modes, Relationship with fellow Marvel Units, Unit Variants and Troubleshooting!)
(Note: Hope you've enjoyed my User Guide so far for Spider-Man. If you liked it enough you might want to know about my upcoming fan-fiction, 'Spider-Man: Ravencroft Origins', an adaption of Batman Arkham Origins to feature Spider-Man and his supporting cast!
Christmas Eve, and a still emerging 18 year old Spider-Man finds himself and the citizens of New York a target when crime boss Mr Negative places a fifty million dollar bounty on his head. By the end of the evening Peter Parker will have faced his greatest challenges yet as he has his first encounter with the insane Green Goblin amid the confines of Ryker's Island. Featuring Spider-Man and a host of his allies and deadliest foes, as well as all five 'Spidey Girls' - Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felica Hardy, Carlie Cooper and Mary Jane Watson! 'Ravencroft Origins' will be starting soon on the Spider-Man Fanfiction page. As of this fic's release I have planned two polls relating to Ravencroft which would be highly useful for input with – one for the identity of a mentor character for Peter which is up now, and a second for whether to write the' side missions' and some possible bonus content in a separate fanfiction or altogether in one story, which will be up following the release of the first chapter. Please vote on both of these if you can, you'll be helping me greatly!