I don't own Veronica Mars or anything connected to it! Please review!

Inspirational quote of the day:

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." Gloria Naylor

Every time she promised herself she wouldn't think of him, something would pop up on a tabloid cover or some entertainment show, and she'd be right back in Neptune.

It sucked.

Mostly it sucked because he was the only one she continually ignored the existence of. She knew it was bitchy, and unkind. But she wasn't sure how to not ignore him and still have a normal life.

She so wanted a normal life.

But she couldn't let go of that last day, when he had beat up Gory. The look he'd given her right after, still smirking and wiping blood off of his fist.

He still loved her.

Part of her was afraid he would always love her.

And the rest of her knew that all they would ever do was hurt each other. They were too damaged, they knew each other too well.

And during her internship she had met Wendy Darling, who hated her name, and was a Stanford student. Wendy had spent most of the internship talking up Stanford and convinced Veronica to reapply and transfer.

It had frozen Veronica, made her just sit and stare at the mailbox after shipping off the envelope.

Was she really going to do this?

And her next thought had been "What would Logan say right now?"

And that had made her decide, because damnit, she didn't need Logan Freaking Psychotic Jackass Echolls' approval on her life.

She really wanted normal, and boring, and so when her internship was over, she went to Stanford.

It was twisted, she knew that, and still it broke her heart.

And Piz's heart. And her dad's. And probably Logan's.

Because it wasn't just the romance for them. She sometimes thought that might have been easier to get over.

It was so much more than that.

They had once played Never-have-I-Ever on a beach with their closest friends. She had supported him during the off and on again games that Lilly Kane was expert at and he had supported her with inspirational quotes and protected her from boys at parties whenever Duncan wasn't around. They had discussed books and movies while Lilly had a running commentary going on some magazine article and Duncan was kicking butt at some game.

Every great moment before Lilly died, he was in.

They had been friends once. Good ones.

Even when he had hated her, she hadn't hated him. She had hated that he hated her. It had depressed her beyond reason. She had missed him. Every time they had snarked at each other she had been reminded of all those times

And when that hatred had begun to shift back to friendship she had been so wary, and so happy.

Piz couldn't understand it. Back in the early days of them dating, she'd found in the internet history where he had Googled the Lilly Kane murder and then researched Logan too.

He'd tried being understanding, but you couldn't Google the feelings or the real history, the bonds forged after everything they'd all been through. None of the hundred things that had made them who they were was on Google.

Lives ruined, Logan had said once. Piz had been another casualty, along with her father's career and maybe Logan's heart.

Of all the things that she was guilty for, though, none of those even ranked.

Logan had been her friend, once. And they were the only two left that really understood what that meant. It had been there, in the background, all along. It was part of what had made them so well-matched. History, the poets would call it. Such a simple word for such a complicated thing.

Friendship. Rival. Hatred. Forgiveness. Fathers. Mothers. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Death. Life.


Sometimes there are words to express those things.

But she never found any that measured up to the reality.