So, I may or may not add a couple of oneshots, because of the movie. LOVED it!
Still don't own Veronica Mars.
Today's inspirational message:
Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. – Voltaire.
She told him she wouldn't be there if she didn't think he was innocent.
He wanted to believe her, he really did. There are few things, actually none that he can think of, that he believes in the way he believes in Veronica Mars.
Fact is, though, she once smiled in his face and then handed over evidence showing he'd killed a girl named Lilly Kane.
They are years and miles from being those people, but some part of him still thinks, however coldly, that Veronica is there to drive a nail in his coffin.
Maybe it's because she shredded his heart, not once, not twice, but…. God, he's actually lost count.
He hasn't talked to her in years. Hasn't even checked up on her in a long time. She wanted normal, and he wanted her happy. If not having him around was what she needed, then he would do that.
She had been through enough because of this town. More than anyone should have to go through in a lifetime, in a hundred lifetimes.
And yet, she showed up, didn't she? And she came to him, and he couldn't believe she was there, even as he was reeling from seeing that damn video.
It was more than surreal having her there, in the (what had Dick called it?) humble home he shared with the surfer whenever he was on leave. Watching a video of yet another dead girlfriend with the ex in the room. It was like having all the women he'd ever been in love with in one room.
Because, honestly, when did Lilly Kane ever not haunt them?
Right after the breakup with Carrie though, Dick had gotten him drunk, not the best plan in retrospect. And they had talked about it, as much as they could with awkward silences and ghosts in the room. Dick had told him he would be okay, because well, he would. And then he had been quiet, and after a few more beers, Dick had brought up the forbidden name, Veronica.
Logan had shut that down immediately.
They had never talked about Cassidy, because it was never going to end well, that conversation. But Dick had made a comment about needing medicine for his depression and Logan had actually never questioned it, because Dick got this thousand yard stare sometimes, and well, they just never talked about Cassidy.
That was Dick's watchword, and Logan's was Veronica.
Because yeah, he broke up with his girlfriend, but even Dick, in all his occasional idiocy, knew Carrie had been no Veronica.
Some things you don't get over. Some people too.
And if she isn't real this time, if she hadn't meant it, it might have broken him. But she'd meant it. She believed him, believed in him. He knew it because after almost a decade of not knowing her, he still knew her. He couldn't believe that the girl he knew, pre- and post- Lilly Kane, would be able to walk away with everything the way it was.
So he was here, had been far longer than he was willing to admit, waiting outside her house. He'd seen Keith walking around in the house. He'd be lying if he said that he hadn't played the creepy stalker role on a few dark nights over the years, casually strolling by during peak holidays, wondering if he'd catch a glimpse of her. He never had.
No forbidden love, Dick had warned yesterday. He'd ignored the jab, because he had a few things on his mind.
It had bothered him though, later. He had been slouched against the kitchen counter after coming back from dropping off Veronica, glaring into the sink.
"Dude?" Dick's questioning voice had made him look up and wonder how many times Dick had called his name before he'd noticed.
"Dude," Logan returned, calm, despite the rage brimming under his skin, not at Dick, but at his life in general. "Please, for the love of God, stop antagonizing the people trying to keep me out of prison."
Dick had smirked very slightly. "Ronnie heading home?"
"I mean the lawyers," Logan said dryly.
"So, yes, to the Ronnie going home?" At Logan's glare he shook his head. "Color me shocked."
"Why, because you were expecting us to fall into bed with each other after nine years incommunicado?"
"Dude, it could be twenty years, and I wouldn't be surprised if that happened."
Logan rolled his eyes.
"Tell me you haven't thought about it," Dick challenged. "She's filled out, man, gotten curves. Still has her mouth though, but hey, there are ways to keep a girl quiet." At the murderous look he got, he only grinned. "Yeah, exactly." He grabbed a beer out of the fridge. "Just send me the wedding invite, man."
Logan shook his head. "She's leaving, man. Gone. In the wind."
"Incommunicado, yeah, you said that," Dick laughed. "It's Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls, round 24. Ten years later, all grown up, plenty of sexual education in between."
"Seriously, it's like you want me to hit you."
For a second there is silence, and the Dick sighed heavily.
"She showed up, Logan. She believes you."
The sudden seriousness in Dick's voice changed the whole tone of the room and Logan looked back down into the sink.
"Nine years, I had to listen to you whine about her, clean you up and set you on your feet after each rebound, because they've all been rebounds. You didn't take a single one of them seriously until Carrie. And now she's dead, and Veronica came running when you called. It's almost like high school all over again. Except it isn't even close. But I bet you guys fell right back into your usual patterns right?"
"I called it a rhythm, but yeah."
"Yeah. She's going to figure this out, and you'll be a free man again. You know how I know?" He leaned over and set his hand on Logan's shoulder. "Because you're Logan fucking-I-will-beat-the-shit-out-of-you-if-you-mistreat-Ronnie-because-she's-the-one-that-always-sets-me-off Echolls." Logan snorted without looking up and he grinned. "And she's Veronica nothing-can-hold-me-down,-not-rape,-not-bullies,-not-a-million-miles,-not-even-a-broken-heart Mars. It's who you are. Who you guys will always be. I'll bet you fifty bucks. Cause I know the government pay is cheap." He stepped back. "I need a brownie." And he wandered out of the kitchen just like that, seriousness forgotten.
Except now, in the light of day, and after a very short amount of sleep, he is outside the Mars house and reminded of waiting on this same girl, with Lilly next to him and Duncan at the door waiting on his girlfriend. One morning Duncan's car wouldn't start, and he had driven over to pick up Veronica instead, and she had teased him about not being a gentleman, because he had just waited in his car, honking until the blonde had run out and jumped in.
What if she's already gone? What if Keith comes out in a minute and tells him he's a psycho and he's getting a restraining order? What if, even despite them forgetting all the radio silence, she goes back to pretending the world is big enough to avoid him forever?
He knew a girl once that hated him, just like he hated her. And later she loved him, even if she couldn't admit it. And he loved her, still did, in those deep quiet moments in the middle of the night, when everyone else in the bunks around him was sleeping peacefully.
He could fall for her again, like Dick predicted. It would be so easy, because had he ever stopped loving her?
He'd had a girlfriend at one very early point, but it had been Veronica's picture hanging for everyone to see. He still had the photo, tucked away in his effects.
He'd tucked her away too, a taboo subject. He'd loved other women, but she was always there, for comparison in the back of his mind.
If she was gone, though, he was letting it go, once and for all. Done, finito, all those other words.
He'd have girlfriends, of course, maybe even more.
He'd keep Veronica's picture in his effects, and that was the only place he would let her be.
But if she was here. If every instinct in him was right, well, maybe he could make some plans. Maybe he could remind her that when they worked, they really worked well, a perfect team, in every way.
He saw Keith settle on the couch and got out of the car, going around to lean against the side. In a minute, he'd go up, knock, just as soon as he'd prepared himself for the rejection.
Damnit, that was exactly the type of thinking Dick had meant last night. Fuck.
And then the door opened.
Except it didn't just open, and it wasn't just Veronica that stepped out. It wasn't lawyer Veronica he'd spent last night with, trying to get to know.
This one, he knew, recognized her enough for his heart to speed up and a grin to spread on his face before his brain even caught up.
This was his Veronica. Purse, outfit, no lawyer in sight.
She was beautiful. Of course, he would think she was beautiful when they were ninety and grossing people out with their pet names.
He opened her door for her and she smirked at him as she climbed in. "Such a gentleman."
He shut the door, words in his breath that never made it past his lips.
He grinned as she started ordering him where to drive. No pleases, no awkward silences, not even a slight hesitation.
She was back.
And for the first time since he found Carrie in the tub, he felt something like hope in his chest.
He owed Dick fifty bucks.