Retaliation against the Coon
Inside Cartman's house things were anything but pleasant. Cartman had been depressed for months. His mom was back to her job as a whore and she was smoking the crack pipe.
Everything Cartman saw was shitty. He hated music and television shows that he once loved. Life looked like pure shit.
He turned on the television and saw Terrance and Phillip.
"Oh shit I have seen every fucking episode."
Cartman changed the channel and saw Sesame Street.
The narrator says "this episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters 'STFU' and the number 13."
Cartman says out loud "turning 13 sucked."
Cartman continues watching Sesame Street.
Elmo walks up to Big Bird and says "Big Bird you should shut the fuck up because you're an asshole today."
Big Bird says "that's a new world to me. How do you spell asshole?"
Elmo answers "a-s-s-h-o-l-e."
Cartman shut the television set off and went outside dressed as the Coon.
He walked into a McDonalds and he looked at his watch observing the time was 8PM.
He saw Wendy sitting inside.
He went up to her and said "Wendy I want to tell you how sorry I am for making fun of breast cancer back in the fourth grade. I know it's late but I just feel it's something I have to do."
Wendy was in shock.
The Coon ventured out into the middle of town.
Toolshed yelled "YOU BETTER LOOK OUT CARTMAN!"
The Coon replied "I now know how you felt when you turned 10 and everything went to shit. I got these pain pills that my mom is no longer taking. I'm going to take them all and then jump from that four story abandoned building over there."
Mysterion said "no don't, we won't allow you to do that."
Mysterion jumps in front of Cartman and blocks him off.
The Human Kite yelled "well someone wants to add more pain to your life."
A split second after that the Coon was kicked in the face.
After getting up off the ground with a bloody nose he hears a loud voice "YOUR EGO WAS JUST OFF THE CHARTS!"
He looks up and sees a female super hero and asks "who the fuck are you?"
The female super hero answered "I am She-Vengeance"
She-Vengeance then delivered a fierce punch knocking the Coon right back down.
"You're pathetic!" She-Vengeance stated and then scratched the Coon's face.
After that She-Vengeance said "all I wanted to know was what was Mint-Berry Crunch like? But you were just so arrogant you wouldn't even tell me."
All of the sudden everyone notices someone up in the sky flying and when that person lands he reveals himself to be Mint-Berry Crunch.
She-Vengeance yells "Mint-Berry Crunch!" and she goes on to say "I got my revenge."
Toolshed said "well it's great you've come back to visit us Mint-Berry."
Mysterion said "I just snatched his pills. We'll get him help we're not going to let him commit suicide. We'll let him live on with his shitty pain."