Step Away from the Microwave and No One Gets Hurt!!
This is based on a true story straight from the teachers' lounge. Thanks to Mr. C, my
economics teacher for entrusting myself and my class with this story. And yes, there are
going to be some major technological discrepancies in late chapters, but you lose the great
humor of the incident otherwise.
Disclaimer: In a perfect world, I would own LOTR, but I don't, so there. :P~~
Chapter 1: Reactions
It was great news. Word was already spreading all across Middle Earth. Arwen Evenstar,
wife of King Elessar and Queen of Gondor, was pregnant with their first child. (A/N: And
by the time this story is done, you'll understand why it was their ONLY child. ^_^)
Excitement grew as word reached Mirkwood, Rivendell and the Shire. The Former
members of the Fellowship were delighted to hear the news.
"That's absolutely wonderful!!" exclaimed Sam. "I'm so happy for them!" Sam,
Merry, and Pippin were all hanging around Bag End sipping tea with Frodo when the news
"As am I, Sam. It truly is wonderful news," Frodo said with a beaming smile.
"Strider a father. I never thought I'd see the day!!" mused Merry as he blew a
couple of well-defined smoke rings.
"I think, for everyone's sake, Srtider better clean up a little before the child's born.
He'll scare it to death otherwise," Pippin commented as he frowned slightly.
"That's wonderful!!" Legolas said with a bright wide smile. The Prince of
Mirkwood, with his inseparable friend Gimli by his side, received the news from Haldir of
Lorien, who came by to deliver the news.
"Indeed it is! I'm sure they will produce a fine heir to the throne of Gondor!"
"Well, of course!! Being even remotely related to the Lady of the Wood will do
that to you. It's like a five-star guarantee!" Gimli declared, earning a rather peculiar look
from both Haldir and Legolas.
Elrond, Lord of Imladris, slumped into his big, fluffy chair, and sighed as if his soul had
just been expelled from his body. Gandalf the White observed him with a sympathetic
"I take it you're not too pleased with this."
"Huh, what?" Elrond, who had been staring vacantly at the intricate designs on the
carpet, was stirred from his reverie. "Oh no, it's not that, I'm more than happy for them,
it's just I didn't expect to become a grandfather under these kinds of circumstances."
"I see, it serves as a reminder, doesn't it? That Arwen is mortal," Gandalf stated,
reading the expression on his friend's face with ease.
Elrond stood up and walked to the window. The sun shone brilliantly outside,
illuminating the trees and gardens in the courtyard below. The sky had never looked bluer.
As Elrond looked down in the courtyard, he could see several young elflings at play. Some
of the boys were trying out their newly learned sword-fighting skills against each other with
wooden practice swords, while others kicked around a small wooden ball, all the while
yelling and laughing in a perfectly stereotypical image of life in the Last Homely House.
Elrond sighed again. "It still grieves me that Celebrian will never be able to look upon her
daughter as a full grown adult. But it is obvious to me now that nothing could have been
done to change that which the fates decided. There's nothing left for me to do but give
them my blessings."
"That's all a parent should be expected to do," Gandalf cut him off while handing
him a cup of freshly brewed tea.
"And hope to the Valar the child looks more like his mother," Elrond muttered,
finishing his last thought before taking a sip of tea.
(A/N: This chapter is more or less just a quick plot base set-up. The next chapter is where
the insanity ensues. *grins like the Cheshire Cat*