Summary: Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Loki get into an argument about religious beliefs and they solve the problem by going to church.
Steve was reading a book when Thor came in the room and started hammering nails.
"Do you mind quieting it down, Thor?" Steve shouted.
"This ship is broken and I have to fix it!" Thor replied.
"Have you ever thought those nails are sticking out for a reason?"
"Yes." Thor answered. "They are sticking out for me to fix them."
Steve face palmed.
"THOR!" Loki came in screaming. "SILENCE!"
"I understand you are upset, brother, but I must fix this ship-''
"I am tired of that stupid hammer! You are always using it as a tool! Don't you remember what Odin said? He said it is a weapon! You're not using it as a weapon!"
"I know, brother, but I must fix this ship."
It was silent. Loki pulled out a normal hammer out of nowhere. "The hammer of silence," He said. "Use this instead."
"Thank, God." said Steve. "We may disagree with each other, Loki, but I must say that was very helpful."
Loki looked at Steve blankly. "Thor! Do you mind using your own hammer? I need to block out this pathetic noise!"
"No, Brother. I like this hammer much, much better." Thor responded.
"Okay." said Loki. "Fine. I shall talk to this pathetic midgardian."
Steve gave Loki a look like, what?
"What do we disagree with?" Loki asked firmly.
"Everything." Steve replied.
"You disagree with a god on everything?" Loki asked angrily.
"Actually," said Steve. "You're not a god. There's only one god and he's not you."
"Of course he is me!"
"Fine. We'll settle this," said Steve. "in church."
"A church worshipping me."
They went to a church on Sunday. They were talking about sin and regret and how you solve it properly. "Just remember this," said the preacher. "There is only one God and-''
"AND HE IS ME!" Loki shouted among the crowd.
The preacher laughed. "You're joking!" He said. "Please, sir. Sit down."
"What?" Loki tempered.
"Sit down." The preacher repeated.
"You dare tell me what to do?!"
"Just sit down." Steve whispered.
"This time I shall sit down!" said Loki. "But the next time, I shall destroy this church and kill all of you!"
"Yeah…" said the preacher. He started preaching about peace and harmony. Loki almost stood up, but Steve held him back and Loki glared. Finally he started to talk about Easter, and how Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He brought out wine and said "This is the blood Jesus shed on the cross." Then he brought out the bread. "This is his body." He said a prayer and they drank the wine and then the bread. "Let us close in prayer." He said.
They prayed and the preacher said, "Thank you for coming. Have a nice Sunday."
They left and walked back.
"I was right." said Steve. "What was your favorite part."
"None of it. I disagree with what they said about peace and everyone was happy and-''
"What is your favorite part?"
"The time we drank Jesus' blood and ate his body." said Loki. "That was chaotic and gruesome. I fancy that."
"But I'm right."
"No, you are not, pathetic midgardian."
"Okay." said Steve. "You're right. I am wrong. Happy?"
"I will never be happy until my brother is dead and I am supreme ruler of Asgard."
The S.I.E.L.D ship flew over head, picking them up into the sky. For the argument was not solved and nobody won.