Harry opened the door to his new room and tried to stop the confusing thoughts filling his head. For a minute before he'd entered the room he had been filled with hope that maybe he could have a father and a home, but as he entered the rather bland room Harry couldn't help but feel lost. How was he suppose to trust a man, like a man who had made his life miserable for five years just because he had looked like James Potter. Harry begrudgingly could understand why the man had hated his supposed father so much, what with the bullying in school and then the women he loved supposedly having left him for James. It didn't make it acceptable to bully and hate Harry though, he wasn't his … he wasn't James.
Sighing he looked around the room, it was at least two sizes bigger then the one he'd had at the Dursley's. It was spacious with a bookshelf on the left hand wall, a double bed in the middle, a wardrobe and a desk. He noticed a door leading to what he assumed was a bathroom and a suitcase at the foot of his bed. It felt strange to say he had room of his own, he'd never felt like he had at the Dursley's it had always been Dudley's second bedroom to him.
Shaking his head he gritted his teeth, he didn't have a room here either. He didn't want to believe he had a home here or someone he called Dad. If anything the Burrow was more of a home to him or Hogwarts. He saw in irony at that considering he was technically at Hogwarts. He supposed he meant he didn't want to think he had a home here in the dungeons, he never felt safe or welcome down here and that was the way it was going to stay. He kicked his suitcase in frustration and ran hands over his tired face. Harry saw a bit of parchment sticking out of the side and supposed he'd better check his belongings like Snape had said.
He reached out to open it when he suddenly stopped and mentally kicked himself, if he started emptying his truck, it was start to feel like he was moving in for good and he most certainly wasn't. Harry only had one more year and then he would be seventeen, he could do as he pleased and he most certainly wouldn't be staying with Snape.
Sitting down on the bed rigidly he couldn't help but think of Snape. He'd been almost kind to Harry, as he'd walked him down to the dungeons answering his questions. He'd also shown him around his quarters even suggested that if Harry needed him, he could wake him – yeah right like he'd do that. It was a weird feeling to think Snape had actually tried to be thoughtful. Perhaps the man wasn't as bad as he seemed. That made Harry groan. He couldn't think like that, he didn't want to think like that.
He knew Snape had wanted to speak to him once he'd checked his belongings but Harry decided to stay in the enclosed room instead. Away from the cold dark eyes and sneering voice. However the gnawing feeling of been trapped in the room that Snape had called his made his skin crawl. He knew if he could just talk to his friends, see Hermione's comforting face or hear Ron make a god-awful joke he'd feel better. It didn't seem like he'd be seeing his friends for a long time though and Harry felt an ache in his chest at the prospect.
He figured he'd do anything right now for one of Hermione's hugs yet she'd probably be giving them all to Ron right now. He wondered if they'd be sat in Ron's room giggling and having a whale of a time without him. It made Harry's skin itch and a rage fill inside of him, he suppose he was just jealous that his friends got to have such a fun fucking time while he was stuck here with Snape. He couldn't help but picture Hermione's face all giddy and happy at one of Ron's ridiculous jokes and wonder if she missed him? Shaking his head he couldn't help but feel ridiculous. It wasn't their fault that Harry had to spend his summer here without them. He supposed he just didn't want to be left out of whatever they where doing right now.
Harry couldn't stand the thoughts rushing around his head and the only escape he had was talking to Snape. He tried to way up which one was worse when a thought accrued to him. Once Snape had spoken to Harry maybe he'd be able to see his friends, wasn't that was the headmaster had said? He couldn't return to the burrow until he'd talked to Snape?
He shot from his bed and flung open the door, it took everything in him not to run down the hallway and into the sitting room. Taking a deep breath he opened the door to see Snape sat at the table, a newspaper in his hand and a cup of what looked like coffee in the other.
Snape didn't look up from the paper at Harry's entrance all though he did speak as the boy approached the table, "I trust your belongs where all in order?"
Harry hadn't actually looked at his belongs so he didn't particularly know but he wanted the conversation over and done with so he could ask about his friends, "Um yeah, is Hedwig still at the burrow?"
With that Snape placed the paper down on the table and peered at Harry, "She's in the owlery it would do her no good to be cooped up down here."
Harry nodded and an awkward silence filled they air, he picked at his nails not bothering to look up at the Professor. He wondered what Snape could possible have to say one the subject anyway, he probably didn't want Harry anymore than Harry wanted him to be his father.
"I do have a few rules however I'm sure you have many questions," Harry looked up as the Professor said this, he supposed he should have questions, he should have lots of burning questions but the only thing he even remotely cared about was if he could see he friends anytime soon.
"No Professor," He muttered looking down at the table again.
"Very well you will be back at my quarter no later than nine o'clock on an evening, I will not stop you from exploring the castle or the grounds. You will not be able to discus your parentage over owl, if it falls into the wrong hands before we are ready it will be a deadly mistake. You will eat your meals with myself and you will not be allowed to laze about in bed all morning. I expect you to work on your homework on a daily basis and once it is finished we maybe able to work on some of your defensive spells. Other than that feel free to do as you please."
Harry nodded, "I … understand that this has come to a shock to us both Mr. Pot-," Snape stopped and glanced at the boy but had didn't appear to have noticed the slip, "When your Mother and I had been together, even from the memories she had not altered we had spoken about having children. We certainly wanted them, I never thought I would have them after…" He stopped again and Harry noticed how hard it seemed for Snape to spit out what he was saying, "I wish to handle this properly. Find a way we both feel comfortable."
"Right," Harry said, "Look I get it, you don't particularly want me as your son and I don't really want you as my Dad so we're just going to put up with it while we have to, make it easy for us both. So now we have that cleared can I see my friends?"
Harry watched as the man face changed and anger danced across his face, "You ungrateful little," He took a deep breath, "This has nothing to do with…" Harry saw the man clench his fists, "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and stood up, "You have no right to speak to me like that:"
"I have every right in the world you idiotic boy, you may not be James Potter's son but you certainly act the part. You have no sense in that brain of yours. Now get out of my sight!"
Harry defiantly stayed where he was stood, he jaw jutting out, "I'd rather be James Potter's son then yours. Least he was a worthy man!"
Harry knew instantly he had crossed a line the man before him had stood, his face a controlled mask but his eyes screamed just how angry he was … and pain. Did Harry see pain in his eyes?
"You are a selfish, ignorant little boy who knows nothing about worth. Yes James Potter was a hero in everyone's eyes but I saw him for he really was. A bully, if you think any man who thought it was fun to torment and ridicule someone for they're entire seven years at Hogwarts has worth you are a sad, pathetic idiot. Now get out of my sight before I make you!"
Harry felt the anger wash out of his body, he knew he'd been a fool to say the things he had. He knew how much the Professor had been hurt by James Potter. He turned on his heal and walked back to the room he'd been allocated. His mind was reeling. He doubted he'd be able to see his friends at all now. He flung himself down on the bed and brought his knees up to his chest.
He found himself wanting to cry but it had been his own stupid fault he'd made the Professor angry. It hadn't appeared that Snape didn't want him for a son and he had no idea why he'd said those things. Perhaps it was because that's what he thought Snape would want to hear. Harry would never expect Snape to want him and he was sure he was nothing but a burden to the man. Yet as he went over the all the past few interactions he had with Snape he'd been nothing be decent and almost caring to him. He'd tried to be less like a scary potions master who detested him and more like someone who was making an effort to make him feel safe and at home. He was even going to let Harry stroll around the castle and grounds, which meant he could go flying and what had Harry done? Slapped him verbally in the face.
Why was everything so dam confusing? Why couldn't Snape just tell Harry if he wanted him or not?
Groaning he lay down and buried his head in the pillow. He stayed there for the rest of the day until sleep finally took its hold on him.