A/N This is my first fanfic and I'm not a native speaker. Please bear with me! I do not own Criminal Minds.


The raindrops drip off the windows, it is windy and dark outside. Somehow you think it fits the situation. You are sitting in your office. It is late. Again. You follow the drops their way along the window and your thoughts ramble back to the issue that made you look out of the window.

The buzzing of your phone breaks the moment. You look on your desk, where the phone is buried under papers. You need a moment to get yourself together.


It is Emily.

The last two days JJ wasn't answering her phone. It went straight to voice mail. Today you decided to do something about it. You had a bad feeling. JJ withdrew herself too much for your taste. She had a rough time going through the bunch of therapists and medication attempts. But now, not answering her phone, you couldn't stand it.

"Hotch... "

"What is it?"

"She is a mess Hotch"

You let out the breath you were holding with a big sigh.

"What happened?"

"Well to begin with she looks like hell and hasn't been eating or sleeping for a while..."

She pauses.

"Hotch, her gun was loaded when we found JJ in her apartment"

You say nothing. You just stare out of the window and try to realize you didn't see it. And that is what makes you angry. Really angry. Your hand balls into a fist. There had to be signs. And you didn't recognize the real situation JJ was in.

You finally answer Emily and just say "I understand. I'll get back to you."

Your gaze goes back out of the window, following the familiar drops running down the glass. You know what you have to do, but you don't like it. You spin your phone in your hand, trying to decide the next step. This is a team matter, family matter. You cannot let this take a dimension that is out of your hands. The text you sent to every team member but JJ was short. Tomorrow you will discuss this with the team.


You already talked to Strauss and made sure the situation is still under your control. But you have to follow the rules, otherwise it could end much worse. The only way is to keep this needed psych evaluation under low radar, in the inner circle, in the family as much as possible.

It is still early and you make your way through the bullpen. You fill your cup of coffee up in the small kitchen as Rossi appears in your sight. He takes a sip of his coffee and has focused his gaze on you.

"I know... I know..." you answer his look.

"I know. " You start again. "I already talked to Strauss and she is ok with the solution to accept someone of our choice to do this evaluation. I'm sure you have already someone in mind, don't you?" You tell him with a little smirk.

Rossi smiles and takes another sip. After you got home last night you had a short phone call with Rossi, to inform him about the situation. As your friend he understands your difficult position for you as a leader between the right choice for JJ as an agent and JJ as a friend. Right now this has to be the choice for JJ as an agent.


After the team, except Emily who is with JJ, sit down at the round table in the conference room, you begin to explain the situation.

"I think you all are aware of the fact, that JJ still has a rough time. But apparently she is on a path, that is much worse, than we thought. Prentiss and Morgan were able to get to her yesterday, after we all decided, that two days without phone call were too long. They found chaos. JJ hasn't been eaten or sleeping properly for a while." You stop for a moment and look into the round. You take a deep breath.

"Prentiss and Morgan found her gun. Loaded."

You recognize Garcia tearing up, her hand covers her mouth. Reid is looking down on the table, to hide his emotions. A worrying silence settles down for a moment.

After a quick exchanging look with Rossi, you continue.

"We all are concerned. But as a matter of fact there is a decision to make. The bureau requests in such situation a further psych evaluation and I think that is right now the only right step to take. The bigger picture is here to get JJ back on track, so in some time she can start working again, to regain her old power and confidence."

Morgan starts to nod and begins. "What I saw yesterday, there is a hell of a lot of help needed to get her back on the tracks. She needs us right now. All of us!"

"Yes, that is the next point I want to discuss with you. We have to take care that she isn't alone anymore." You settle your gaze at Morgan.

"She needs help to eat, to sleep, to clean the place up everything. Someone has to be there 24/7." Morgan answers you.

Garcia suddenly sits up straight. "I can take care of that! I can work from my laptop at her apartment."

You nod. "We need someone to talk to her, someone that is not involved. So Rossi already knows a person, that will also take over the psych evaluation. With that we have more control about the outcome of this situation, to direct this bureaucratic issues our way."

You signal Rossi with a quick look to explain.

"A friend of mine has the right qualifications and is the person who fits in this situation. She is a former bureau employee and runs a team of therapists. But she is also a consultant of the bureau. Her name is Jill Williams." Rossi pauses. "I think tomorrow we have her on our side."

"Ok then, Morgan you go back today to JJ's and help Prentiss. The rest of the week we are on backup, the second team will take over. We won't get a case this week and only half of the team is on consulting duty. We can take shifts to be with JJ and to help her to get through this." You take a look through the round, to make sure everybody is with you on that.