Hello! This is my first fanfic on this site and the first one I've written in a loooong time. I know I'm a bit rusty, but I'll get better! I promise! :)
This story was inspired by the song "All Thoughts are Prey to Some Beast" by Bill Callahan. The lyrics make me think of how even innocent thoughts can have dark undertones. Kurt has been Kitty's best friend, even though he wants something more. But he and Kitty are both dating other people, so he's forced to keep his desires in check. I'm terrible at summaries! The first chapter is kind of short, but the rest will be longer!

All Thoughts are Prey to
Some Beast

It could easily be said that Kurt was a gentleman. He held doors open for ladies. He never bragged about his sexual conquests (truth be told there weren't many…well, any to brag about). Sure he had been dating Amanda for a few months now, and sure, she was beautiful. He still couldn't believe that any girl would willingly want to be with him. Want to kiss him, want to go…further. And he knew that soon Amanda would expect a little more physical contact from him. She had been hinting at that sort of thing, talking about the birth control she had started, kissing him a little longer than he felt comfortable with, tracing circles in his fur as she sat in his lap during movie night at the mansion. As much as Kurt liked Amanda, he had a sinking feeling that she wanted to be with him in that way just because of what he was. She seemed to have a bit of a fetish for the strange. And Kurt-a furry, blue mutant-was definitely strange.
Try as he might to convince himself that was the only reason why he felt reluctant to sleep with Amanda, Kurt knew there was an even better reason.
A certain cute brunette-his best friend in the world, Kitty Pryde.
Kurt knew it was hopeless. She had made it perfectly clear he was nothing more than a friend. Hell, she was dating Lance! Kitty was not interested and Kurt knew he was destroying his self confidence by trying to pretend otherwise. So he was her knight in shining armor, the one who carried her books and went shopping with her, the one who stayed up late talking with her on nights when she was in tears over some stupid thing Lance had said or done. He held her when she cried, he performed crazy stunts to make her giggle, and he bandaged her wounds when the Danger Room got a little too rough. He was basically a "boyfriend", but with none of the benefits. Evan and Scott teased him mercilessly about his willingness to do anything and everything for the petite mutant, but Kurt tried to ignore them. He was head over heels, but he had a girlfriend. And Kitty had a boyfriend. Her happiness was all that mattered.
Kurt loved her, but would not dare push. He would simply die if she ever terminated their friendship.

But try as he might, there was no way he could think of Kitty as "just a friend". Those innocent thoughts he kept in check during the day, they took over when he was alone. In the shower, lying in bed late at night, he pictured her. Kitty, sprawled out on his bed, chocolate brown hair fanned out on his pillow like a halo. Kitty, arching into him, moaning his name, begging for release…
"Mein Gott!" Kurt violently shuddered and tried to shake the images from his head. "Oh Keety. *Ich bin verrückt nach dir..."

*I'm crazy for you.

It feels so good to be writing again! I'd love it if you would review! Let me know if I'm doing anything wrong (or right!) :) I've been a fan of this site for years, and I'm beyond excited to finally be submitting some of my own work.