Reunions weren't as sweet as people made them out to be. At least, that was what Dean was starting to think. Despite standing together by the time their Smackdown segment was over and despite their own private reunion that followed in their hotel room it didn't feel real to him. It was hollow. Empty. On his end at least. He hadn't wanted it to be. He wanted to just forgive Seth and move on from the incident. But the image of Seth intentionally jumping away from him as he tried to make the tag kept playing over and over in his head. The image of Seth just standing there and watching him get ultimately demolished by Bray Wyatt was burned in his brain. The fact that Seth hadn't answered a single call or text from him and had instead contacted Roman when he wanted to have their little summit weighed on him. He had fucking contacted Roman and basically blew off his entire existence until it was time to yell at him and not apologize. And Roman of course had switched to Seth's side the moment he came out. Roman, who had been so angry with Seth as well had knocked Dean down on his ass the moment he had given Seth a well deserved shoved. He was letting Seth get away without apologizing. He was taking Seth's bullshit explanation of nobility and lesson teaching and standing by him without argument. Which of course left Dean to reluctantly go along with it because he would once again be the asshole. He hated it yet there it was. They were just so good at doing that to him.
He sat up and looked over to the other side of the bed. He was on the side of the bed closest to the door while Seth laid in the middle and Roman on the other side of him. Seth was on his back while Roman laid on him with his head on his chest and his arm draped over him. A role reversal from how Dean usually woke up to find them. Very rarely did he wake up to find them cuddled up to him like that. No, it was the two of them attached to the hip and him feeling more and more like he was the third wheel. It didn't use to be that way. Or maybe it had. Maybe he had always been the third wheel and they just used to bother to hide it better. Or he had been too blind to see it. Either way it left a gnawing feeling in his chest. The room suddenly felt too crowded to breathe in. He had to get out of there. He had to get some air.
Dean slipped out of bed and got dressed. His key card sat by the ice bucket but he left that behind in favor of remembering to grab the pack of cigarettes he had stashed deep in his bag. Their hotel room was by one of the building's exits so he was able to slip out easy enough. The air was absolutely frigid and despite his trusty coat he immediately began to shiver. He fucking hated the cold. He wanted to be back in Vegas but he didn't get that option right now. No, instead he was stuck in the cold and that made him all the more agitated.
He stuck one of the cigarettes in his mouth and lit it up as he walked. His fingers were already starting to go numb from the cold. He shoved them deep inside his pocket since he lacked gloves to protect himself. He didn't know where he was walking. There was no real plan. Maybe he'd go to a bar, maybe he'd just walk all night until he was too tired to keep going. Maybe he'd sleep under a bridge like he did when he was a kid on the nights his mom and her boyfriends were fucking and fighting too loud. It didn't matter. Maybe he would just literally walk until his entire body turned into a chunk of ice.
The sound of the voice surprised Dean. He turned around to see Seth was chasing after him. He barely had gotten a few blocks from the hotel and there the younger man was, chasing him with the most exasperated look on his face.
"Why the hell do you pick the stupidest times to take these walks?" Seth was almost on him now and he was missing the clue that something really was bothering Dean. He was running on the assumption it was just another night of insomnia for the brunette. "You're going to get frost bite out here."
"So?" Dean turned back around and started walking again. He could barely speak with his cigarette dangling between his teeth. "My parts my problem."
"But I like your parts."
Dean only grunted and tried to walk faster. Seth wasn't getting the hint though. He closed the distance between him and Dean, grabbing him by the arm and turning him back around. "Come on dude at least just walk around inside the hotel." His eyes watered from the smoke being blown into his face and he immediately took the cigarette from Dean and stomped on it. "You can spook the whole god damn place if you want. Just come back with me."
"Why don't you just go away?" Dean jabbed a finger back in the direction of the hotel. "Just fucking go. Isn't that what you're good at now?"
Seth faltered at the words. Realization started to sweep him. "Oh you've got to be kidding me..."
"I got to be kidding you?" Anger flared at those words. "Why do I have to be kidding you?" Dean was going to punch him again. He was going to punch him in his stupid face and break his stupid jaw while he was at it.
"Because we went over this already!" Seth was trying not to sound defensive since he knew it would set Dean off more. "I fucking told you why I did it."
Dean snorted. "Oh yeah. Your big noble quest to teach me and Roman a lesson. Yeah, I forgot you totally put yourself on the cross there for us. Silly me silly me." Sarcasm oozed from his words. "Seth the martyr Seth the fucking innocent angel who can just do whatever it is he wants-"
"I never said I-"
"I'm gonna do what I do best and take one for the team!" Dean threw Seth's earlier words right back in his face. "Fucking implying you're the god damn martyr around here when nobody fucking asked you." Dean reached out with one hand and pushed him back by his chest. "Nobody fucking asked you for your stupid fucking lessons." He pushed Seth again, making the younger man stumble back a step. "Fucking left me you fucking cocksucker."
"I left you and Roman. It wasn't a personal attack on you-"
"That's why you waited until I needed to tag you isn't it?" Dean didn't want to hear the excuses. He didn't want to hear the lies. He didn't want to hear the truth either if he was honest with himself but he also wanted it over with. He couldn't have it dragged out anymore. He needed Seth to just say it. To say he left him on purpose. That he loved Roman more. That he thought he was worthless. That he was just like everyone else who had ever hurt him. Most of all he needed Seth to just say he was the problem. He knew it was true already but he just needed someone to say it. To deliver the final blow of confirmation. Nobody ever said it. They either just left or fed him lies about how it was them and not him. But they wouldn't all abandon him if it was them. No, there was a common fucking theme going on and it was him.
"You're being ridiculous." Seth grabbed Dean's arms and tried to shake him. Tried to shake some sense back into him. They were still all alone out on the street. The wind was blowing harder and colder but now neither of them could feel it.
"Oh yeah? Would you have jumped away if Roman wanted to tag you?"
"In that moment? Yeah."
"Liar." Dean jerked himself free from Seth's grip. Seth tried to grab him again but Dean shoved him down. Shoved him so hard he knew Seth scraped something as he landed. There was a part of him that almost made him falter. Made him almost pull Seth back up and apologize but he crushed that back down as fast as he could. Fuck that. He wasn't sorry. If Seth couldn't be sorry then why should he? Why should he stick around now? If Seth could walk out on him then fuck it, he could walk out right back.
"DEAN!" Seth was chasing after him now. He ran full speed and literally jumped around Dean, skidding to a stop right in front of him to block his path. "Fucking god damn it you idiot." He shoved Dean back. Dean stumbled, nearly falling on his own ass before he managed to regain his footing. "I didn't fucking come back when Roman tried to make me did I?" He shoved Dean again. "I fucking left him just as high and dry as I left you." He shoved Dean again and this time he fell. Dean tried to catch himself but only ended up landing straight down on his elbows. He tried to get right back up but Seth was on him in an instant. The surprise of his sudden 217 pounds on his waist kept Dean grounded as did the words that were still flying from his mouth.
"I'm sorry alright?" Seth grabbed either side of Dean's head. His fingers dug into his scalp, twisting just enough to keep his attention instead of just letting him tune him out. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did it." He was nearly tripping over himself to say it now. Somewhere in the second he jumped on Dean he seemed to have realized it didn't matter why he had done what he did at Raw. It couldn't matter because Dean didn't believe it. There was just the action and what it had been taken as and that would sooner end them all than any of Dean and Roman's bickering.
"You're sorry?" Dean scowled. "Are you actually fucking sorry or are you sorry I'm not buying your bullshit?" He shoved Seth off him and got back up to his feet.
"I am fucking sorry alright?" Seth got back up and got in Dean's face despite the fact he had to know he was risking his own physical well being by doing so. "Jesus fucking christ what do you want me to do? Beg? You want me to fucking beg?"
"Sure." Dean let a cold smirk form on his lips. "That's about the only other thing you're good at."
Seth's eyes narrowed and his hand struck faster than Dean expected. For the second time that night he got slapped but this time he didn't fall. He let himself stumble but then surprised Seth by pouncing right back, crashing his shoulder into the younger man's gut. They crashed to the ground and started rolling, fists flying. Dean was snarling like some sort of wild animal. Seth got his arms up, protecting himself as much as he could while still letting Dean hit him. Dean didn't catch on to what Seth was letting him do. He just flailed away until his arms hurt and then he finally stopped to see what he had done. Seth's nose and mouth were bloody and he had a nice shiner already forming on his cheek. Dean wanted to feel good about that. Seth deserved it. Seth had hurt him he fucking deserved to get some shit back. Yet as he panted and stared down at the two toned hair man he felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Guilt. Fucking guilt. He fucking felt guilty that he just pounded Seth's stupid face in. He still cared too much. He hated it but he couldn't deny it to himself. He had been left but now that Seth was here, laying underneath him he didn't want him to go away again. He just wanted Seth to stay. Everyone else could go off and die and he wouldn't care as long as Seth just stayed.
Dean got up and yanked Seth up to his feet. He kissed him hard, his hands squeezing either side of Seth's head so he couldn't try to go anywhere. Not that Seth was trying. He had only jumped and hooked his legs around Dean's waist. Dean stumbled towards the nearest alley. He could barely see where he was going. He was too focused on kissing every inch of Seth's face. He lapped up the blood he had just drawn and he swore he heard Seth muttered something about him being a weirdo in the process.
Somehow Dean got them to the alley that separated a bakery and a pet store. With all the force he could muster he slammed Seth back first against the bakery's brick wall. His mouth moved from Seth's bloody nose back to his mouth, swallowing the little moans being emitted from the other man. His hands yanked on Seth's pants before undoing his own. It didn't dawn on him he didn't have anything to prep Seth until the younger man snagged the small bottle of lube out of his pocket and gave it to him.
"You've got to be kidding me..."
"What? You're the one who wants to fuck everywhere. I gotta protect my ass man."
Dean wanted to laugh. Seth looked so serious about the matter. He started to smile but then hid it in another kiss. He coated his fingers with the lube before sliding them in one by one into Seth. Normally he drew out the process so he could take in every whimper and whine he could possibly get from the other man. The sounds that would come out of Seth's mouth were enough to make any man cum. He wasn't in the mood to draw anything out though. Not now. He needed to feel Seth around him. He pressed the head of his cock against Seth's hole and glanced around to make sure they were still alone. They were which was great because he didn't actually know what he would do if they weren't. Kick some ass, fuck Seth anyway and let the bastards watch-both had a certain appeal to them.
Seth moaned as Dean entered him. Dean briefly silenced him with a hand over his mouth but then just let it drop. Let the whole city hear. He didn't care. His hands went back to resting on Seth's ass, his nails digging into the pale flesh. Every thrust drove Seth back into the brick building. Flesh tore and Seth whimpered in pain but that only drove Dean to thrust harder. He buried his face into Seth's neck and pressed his lips against his neck. Seth's scent was intoxicating. He could never get enough of it. And he didn't know what he would do without it. He didn't. He tried to imagine it for a moment but panic swept him and he crushed Seth more tightly against him.
"Fuck Dean," Seth groaned. He pulled on Dean's hair to try to signal to him to ease up a bit. Dean couldn't though. He didn't have the words to tell Seth what he needed. He could talk a whole bunch but when it came to what he really wanted, what he NEEDED the words always died. He could never open himself up to anyone enough to say it so instead he tried to show it. Tried to display by clutching Seth to him like he was a lifeline. And maybe he was. Maybe he was Dean's last chance. Maybe once Seth was gone he would just sink back into the darkness and never return. And maybe that scared him. Scared him down to the bone because maybe, just maybe he was tired of the darkness. Maybe he wanted some light in his life and Seth was the only one who really offered that to him.
His hand found Seth's cock and stroked it furiously. He needed to feel Seth cum. He was so close to the edge himself but he forced himself to hold back until he heard Seth cry out his name and felt his warm seed shoot out on his hand. Seth's walls clenched around his cock, squeezing him and making his own release rip through him. His body went still but his grip on Seth was still iron tight. His face stayed buried in his neck, breathing that sweet scent until Seth forced his head back so they could kiss.
"Are are we good now?" Seth asked hopefully.
Dean nodded but not because he was any more secure in the state of them than he was before he left the hotel. He just needed to believe that it was true. Even if it was a lie he needed it to be true. "Yeah. We're good."