A/N: I can't help it. The voices in my head just won't shut up! I need to put this on paper or they're gonna drive me crazy!
Description: Ozpin is bored, so what else can he do other than turning to his one and biggest source of entertainment? Antics and hilarity ensue. (This is the rest of the list.)
Your BGM for this whole chapter:
-Nichijou OP 2 – Hyadain no Joujou Yuujou (/watch?v=LB7kQN6uNok)-
Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, that privilege goes to Monty Oum.
Ozpin is Bored - Part 2
21. Acquire a verbal tic.
There was a lot of hair-ruffling and squee-ing after he began ending his sentences with a '-poi'.
22. Attempt to kiss whoever wakes you up.
Pyrrha had just gotten back from her morning shower when she found a puking Ren and Jaune with his entire head buried in the ceiling.
23. Choose one of your friends, and laugh loudly every time they finish talking.
"Jaune," Ren growled. "I'm really gonna shoot you in the head."
24. With your Scroll, send a message to a random person that says, "Hey, want to check my backdoor?"
Cardin couldn't decide if Jaune had meant that literally or it was some sort of a goddamn booty call.
25. Pinch someone's butt and say, "Nice ass."
Ren grabbed his leader and ran for their lives when Pyrrha and Ruby left to collect their respective weapons.
26. Deliver a long, winded, and completely unrelated speech every time you want to ask for something.
"—The universe has given us chance at every turn, opportunities at every corner. Our past, our failures, are given as lessons to learn, intended to help us become better, greater, a gift more glorious than anything we could ever imagine." Jaune held out his hand. "And that is why I demand you pass that sauce."
Ruby's left eye was twitching. "...Jaune, of all the insanity I've seen from you, this one takes the cake."
27. Return to your room before everyone else. Play Sephiroth's theme song.
"...This is it, guys." Ren whispered fearfully as they listened to the dreadful music and ominous Latin chanting from their dorm room. "He's snapped. It's the end of the world as we know it."
"...What?" Pyrrha could only ask in confusion.
"We're doomed," Nora's voice was choked from holding back a sob. "He's succumbed to the Jenova cells. He's gonna kill everyone and use the Planet as a vessel to sail the darkness of cosmos! We have no hope! There's no stopping this!"
"Where is Cloud when you need him?!"
Pyrrha gave a long stare at Ren and Nora back and forth. "...Alright, that's it. You all need help."
28. Stand on top of the highest building you can find, scream, "I AM THE KING OF THIS WORLD!" before cackling maniacally.
"You know..." a random student in the crowd said. "I'm beginning to think this guy has got to have a screw loose somewhere."
"...That's one way to put it."
29. Sport a Slasher Smile whenever you're in public.
That day, the majority of Beacon's student body strongly felt the urge to write a dying will.
30. Do this before you have your match in Dueling class: look straight at the other guy and drag your thumb across your neck while grinning as wide as possible.
Glynda was just about to say "Begin!" when Jaune's would-be opponent, or the whole class for that matter, ran out of the building while screaming about being too young to die all the way.
31. Sleep without clothes.
It was Pyrrha's turn to wake Jaune up that day. She ended up spending the whole weekend unconscious in the infirmary after a severe case of nosebleed.
32. Walk up to someone and claim that they're your muse.
Bartholomew Oobleck had mixed feelings.
33. Adorn one of your ears with a piercing and wear a pair of glasses.
"Is it possible for someone to look badass, dorky, hot, innocent, smart, and stupid, all at the same time?" Yang mused.
Blake caught the sight of Jaune coming out of his room and proceeded to raise one eyebrow. "Apparently it is."
34. Barge into a classroom, then yell that something has escaped its cage.
"What?! Which one?! The Beowolf, Boarbatusk, or the Nevermore?!"
Peter Port was brought in for questioning and spent another day in the interrogation room.
35. Use an unorthodox weapon.
Cardin stared incredulously at his opponent, then asked the audience, "Is this some kind of fad I don't know about?"
In front of him, Jaune was in his battle stance, looking serious as all hell while holding a fork and a tissue box.
36. Grab one of your friends, then whisper to his/her ear, "What do you say if I give you my first?"
Weiss had given him the first experience of being frozen alive.
37. Do not speak, not even a word, all day long.
By the end of the day, the gang had become so anxious and frightened that they gave a loud and exuberant cheer after Jaune finally said his first word during dinner.
At this point, nearly everyone in Beacon already had a silent agreement that trying to find explanation about the hijinks occurring around the blonde swordsman was a lost cause.
38. Make a show of licking your sword before a battle.
Apparently, it gave the other team enough scare to give up after one second into the match... and enough trauma to seek a professional help afterwards.
In addition, Team JNPR broke the world record of fastest victory achieved in team battle.
39. Boldly go where no man has gone before.
"Would you cut it out already?!" Ren shouted while holding onto his leader's waist.
"Let me go, Ren! This is something I must do!"
"But that's the girl's changing room! I don't care how strong you are; you'll die! You'll definitely die!"
40. Ask your partner to buy you something.
"Pyrrha," Ren massaged his temple. "Why, why do you have to keep buying him toys?"
"Bu-but, I can't help it!" Pyrrha gestured to Jaune, who was happily playing with his Gundam models on his bed. "Just look at him! He's so adorable! How could I refuse him?!"
Ren let out a defeated sigh. He had a hope that Pyrrha would remain the one voice of reason in his team. Sadly, it didn't last.
To be Continued...
A/N: I feel... contented.
(Correction has been made for no. 38, courtesy of Kaboom0.)
Praise me, shun me, applause me, make fun of me. Whatever you want to do, it's your call. Whatever it shall be, I will accept all.
Thanks a zillion for reading!