The more easily readable version of Quaff


Disclaimer: As far as I know, Square still owns the gang, but since I provide more than half of their upkeep, I'm allowed t' claim them on my taxes this year =)

Notes: This was originally a scrolling marquee. Blame its odd nature on that. I'm only putting it here t' test out formatting, so that future ficcies look better (namely, quibbles. If quaff shows up, I might end up posting them...).

as always
Talking ::actions:: ~Thoughts~ *emphasis* whispers

Zell, Zell, he's our man, if he can't do it..

Hey, I can do it!

Well, if you can't, Squallie can!


Squallie, Squallie, he's our man! If he can't do it...


Err...Irvine can! Irvine, Irvine, he's our man, if he can't do it...

Now I didn't say I couldn't do it, it was just a case of nerves!

Yeah right man!


Come on Squall, I took the shot!

Five minutes later! Drop it Irvie, and save some face. Where was I...oh yeah...If he can't do it, Quistis can!

I could have done it...

Quistis, Quistis, she's our man...

I'm not a man!

Sorry, my mistake...If she can't do it...

Anything a man can do, I can do better!

I'll keep that in mind...If she can't do it, Selphie can!

Woo hoo! What do you want me to do?

::looks at Squall in disbelief:: You're going to let Selphie do it?

I let her fly the Ragnarok, don't I?

Hey, how come you don't let me fly it?

~Now that's a stupid question!~


I'm a woman! A woman!

Selphie, Selphie, she's our girl

You bet!

She really can't do it, so let's give Rinoa a whirl!



I could do it!

Hey, join the boat.

Rinoa, Rinoa, she's our gal...

Oh, you have a job for me? Thank you ^_^ I'll show you Squall, I'll take this *soooo* serious!

If she can't do it, Seifer will show her how!


But I promised to take it seriously! Give me another chance!

Seifer, Seifer, he's our man, if he can't do it...

Are you sayin' I can't do it? Are you puttin' me in the same category as the Chicken-wuss?

Um, well...

Who're ya callin' a Chicken-wuss?

I'm calling you a Chicken-wuss, Chicken-wuss! ::sticks out tongue:: Nyah nyah! Watcha gonna do about it? Shake your fist at me? I'm *sooo* scared!


Why do you two always have to act like children?

He started it!

Did not!

Did to!

Did not!

Enough already...gee, I can't put you two anywhere together.

Now see what'cha done? Ya got Esse mad at us!

Did not!

Did to!

Did not!

::grabs them by the ears:: This ends now, or I'm having Irvie shoot the both of ya!

::grins, and whips out his shotgun:: It'd be my pleasure ma'am!

::listens intently, hearing nothing:: That's better! Now then, if he can't do it, the little witch can!


Which witch?

Who's a witch?

Did someone mention a sandwich?

::smacks forehead::

She means me.


Hi Matron!

Mama-san, you came to visit!

I thought Matron was a sorceress...

Poetic licence, folks. Edea, Edea, she's our witch...

I really prefer the term super-naturally endowed.

Eh, isn't that Selphie?

Zell! Irvine, smack him one for me!

Anything for you, darlin' ::smack smack::

Oww! What did I say?

People? A little attention here? If she can't do it...

Let's make a switch!

Hey, that's my line? Who are you?

Esse, look out! It's the Sorceress!

::scratches head:: That's not Edea, the color's all wrong...

No, not Matron...

Do you ever get the impression that Esse isn't too bright?

All the time.

Hey, I heard that! So, if it's not Edea, who is it?

You poor, confused little girl, that's...

::sniff::I kan make my own introduktions! I am Ultimecia!


Who invited her?

Well, welcome, and try not to spill punch on the carpet, 'kay?

Oh...okay. ::sits between Rinoa and Selphie on the couch:: So, how are you all doing?

Ultimecia, Ultimecia, she's a loon, if she can't do it...

So I failed one time...that doesn't make me a loon! I'll have better luck destroying all of kreation next time!

I sorta think it's the 'destroying all creation' part that makes her think you're a loon...

Umm, I hate to be nosy, but are you really Ellone?

Ah ha ha ha ::sweatdrops:: Of kourse not! hehee, what a silly notion!


That's a topic for another time. Lesse, if she can't do it, send in the goon!

~A goon?~

Wow, I didn't know we had a goon. Who is it?

Well, technically, he's Seifer's goon...

Oh! Where is he, anyway?

Yeah, I kinda thought the free food woulda lured him in.

Raijin! Get in here now!

::huff puff puff:: Yo Seifer, what's up now, ya know?

It's your turn.

Oh. Cool.

~How in the blue blazes did these fools ever defeat me?~

::sigh:: Raijin, Raijin, he's our man...

It's nice to be needed, ya know?

Good luck, so far she hasn't needed any of us.

And we've tried so hard!

::nudges Seifer:: Can you pass the bowl of beer nuts?

There's snacks? ::grabs a handful of nuts, then passes the bowl to Zell:: Ummm, munchies...

Is it too much to ask for a little focus? As I was saying, if he can't do it...

Well, if you don't need me for anything, can I grab some snacks?

::waves him towards the table:: Knock yourself out.

Wow, thanks! You guys are the coolest, ya know?

We've got the idea.

grrr...if he can't do it, the albino can!


Yeah, ya know...

The other third of the posse.

That's right. Fujin, Fujin, she's our lady...

::walks up:: SEIFER?

::points over to Raijin:: This shouldn't take too much longer. Esse probably won't need you either. Go enjoy the buffet.


Has anyone ever been brave enough to ask her what happened to her eye?

::sniggers:: Nothing happened to her eye; she just wears a patch so she can beat the living crap out of people who ask her about it.


::watches Fujin load up a plate with green bean casserole:: Okay, if she can't do it, we'll ask Cid, maybe...

Oh, did someone call my name?

Hello Dear.

Edea! What a pleasant surprise! ::walks over to stand by her:: So, what brings you here?

Esse needs something done.

Really? ::smooches his wife::

Look Headmaster, we were trying not to give out too many spoilers. Do you think you could make out a little more inconspicuously?

Ummm ::smooch smooch pet:: No.

Alrighty...Cid, Cid, he's our man...

No, he's my man.


That's my phrase...

::glowers at Squall:: Whatever! If he can't do it, maybe Nida can!


I haven't seen him around...

Isn't he piloting the Garden?

Do I look like I care? Get him down here now!

You're sure in a bad mood...

G E T H I M!

::summons Nida over the intercom::

So, that's what you were trying to accomplish?

Oh yes, and ::whisper whisper whisper::

::looks over at Irvine:: You don't think they're plotting world domination, do you?

Shucks Selphie, and if they are? What could we do about it?

::leans over to Seifer:: You know what would really go great with these beer nuts?

Lemme guess...Yo Raijin, didja bring the booze?

::tosses a bottle over:: It's all yours boss. Enjoy!


::opens, takes swig, and passes to Zell:: Whee, damn, he got the good stuff this time!::

::drinks:: Whoa, smooth as silk, baby! I need to remember to invite you t'more parties, man.

Where the heck is Nida? ::glares in disapproval at the room's occupants:: Squall, can't you do something with them?

::mumble mumble:: Sis... ::snore:: ::shifts position so his head's resting on Quistis' shoulder::

Hi all! Heard Esse needed me...

Nida, thank God! Nida, Nida, he's our man!

Hey Nida, wanna drink?

Really? All right!

::gazes uncomprehendingly as Nida joins Seifer and Zell:: if...if...::wipes tears from her eyes:: If he can't do it, no one can. ::starts crying:: You jerks. It wouldn't of killed ya to help me out. ::walks over to her computer and starts typing::

What'sh she doin'?

How the hell should I know? Pass the bottle...

::finishes typing:: Well, thanks for nothing, folks.

No problem ::kiss kiss lick::

::glances one final time at her work:: Drat it all! It's all wrong! Umm Zell? Can you lend a hand?