I pulled back my duvet forcing myself to get up and take a toilet break from my brooding. I walked on orders of my brain towards the bathroom and stopped to look around me. My previous three days back had gone exactly the same way, sleep, toilet, sleep, look outside, sleep, look around room to get head around changes, toilet, sleep, shower, toilet, teeth, sleep. I never eat.

As I looked around my room, my mind still trying to come to terms with the fact that, a, Cauldron had called me a monster and left, b, Jean and Scott had taken responsibility over Anna, Snowy, Ice, and Blaze.

I walked over to the bathroom and went in, closed the door and sat on the toilet leaning against the still shiny lid. I sat there waiting to empty whatever there was and the got lost in my thoughts.

I was kind of happy that I was without the responsibility of kids that I had never wanted but at the same time I was lonely. Then I thought about Cauldron, her leaving me was like I had been shot and I was stuck in between heaven and earth floating forever. She made me angry that she didn't understand, and at the same time I just wanted to cry.

But I haven't cried, no, I have not cried once about the events of that day that the students call the 'Professor X and Magneto replay'. I guess they call it that because something like that happened to Magneto and Professor X.

I still want to cry, but it is like someone is controlling me, like I am just a game. Like that game 'Sims', where each day all my hygiene, energy, and bladder needs are taken care of but nothing else matters. It's like there is a button that you need to push to get me to cry and to let my sadness escape. I suddenly had the inspiration to sing and so I got up and went to my still half packed bag.

I pushed my arm through the gap and felt around for my IPod and speakers, there it is. I found a plug in the wall and plugged in my speakers. I scrolled through the many songs I have and found the one I wanted, perfect. I heard the song start and soon began to sing

I don't know where I am

I don't know this place

Don't recognize anybody

Just the same old empty face

See these people they lie

And I don't know who to believe anymore

But there comes you to keep me safe from harm

There comes you to take me in your arms

Is it just a game?

I don't know

Is it just a game?

I don't know

Pleading eyes that break my heart

So homesick I can't feel

But I know I must play my part

And tears I must conceal

There comes you to keep me safe from harm

There comes you to take me in your arms

Is it just a game?

I don't know

To keep you safe from my bow

Take my hand and my heart races

Flames illuminate our faces

And we're on fire

Blow a kiss to the crowd

They're our only hope now

And now I know my place

And now I know my place

We're all just pieces in their games

I heard a knock on my door and clicked the pause button that stopped the IPod from playing anything else. I got up and slowly opened the door, it was Rogue. I smiled weakly and let her in, I said

"Hi, what's up?"

She rolled her eyes and said

"What's up? Is that all you have got?"

I shrugged and she sighed rolling her eyes again

"It is time you ate something, and had some fun. I don't know exactly what happened at Stryker's hideout but I know that ever since you have been mopping slowly starving yourself."

It was then that I noticed that she was carrying a tray with food on it, and the smell! Wow, it worked it's magic and soon my stomach betrayed me and grumbled, LOUDLY!

Rogue smirked and opened the lid of what I assumed to be soup, I frowned as I recognised the smell as leek and potato soup, my favourite. I sighed

"What do you really want Rogue?"

Her face dropped as she said

"You are my first friend who is a girl. And I just want you to know that I am here to support you."

I sat on the bed and patted the spot next to me, she smiled and came over with the soup. My stomach grumbled loudly. Rogue grinned and gave it to me. I carefully placed the lid on the tray and grabbed the spoon which had been provided. I slurped the hot substance down in a few minutes and my stomach was soon aching for more.

Rogue smiled and said "The professor said it was your favourite."

My smile vanished and was replaced by a stony cold face. Rogue saw and asked "Are you okay?"

I nodded and lied "I just had a thought about Cauldron, that's all. I'm going to have a nap if that's okay."

She seemed a bit put off by her short stay but I think I convinced her with a loud yawn and I soon fell back into my duvet.

But as soon as I heard the door close my face was contorted in rage and I could barely stop myself from screaming