Note: The inspiration for this comes from the song "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. So you should all check that out. I had it on repeat while writing this.
Let Me Come Home (Home Is When I'm Alone with You)
Growing up Felicity Smoak never really understood the term "home".
People told her that home was warm, comforting, and a place where you belonged. When her third grade teacher, Mrs. Stevens, asked the class to write a description of what their home was like, all the other boys and girls talked about their mommies and daddies and siblings and pets and the big houses they lived in with white picket fences and swing sets in their backyards. They talked about teasing their siblings and how their moms would kiss their booboos and their dads would play sports with them. Felicity didn't write about that. She didn't write about anything. It was the only time throughout her many years of education that she didn't turn in an assignment.
The first time she uses the word, and means it, it slips out over the coms.
It surprises her but she passes it off as a fluke. People often associate the term home with the place in which you spend the vast majority of your time. Since she sees more of the inside of the foundry than her own apartment, it's not all that surprising that her subconscious has assigned the name to the place.
What is surprising is that no one else comments on it either. Everyone goes about his or her business as if it's the most natural thing in the world to refer to this place as home. Diggle continues his work out beating up the training dummy. Oliver acknowledges he's heard her and that he's coming back. Fifteen minutes later she hears the sound of the automatic lock click open and there he is, walking through the foundry door and down the stairs. He crosses over to her to discuss different ways they can find intel on who this man in the skull mask is. Everything continues on as usual.
The next person to refer to the foundry as home is Sara, surprisingly, followed shortly by Oliver.
Felicity and Diggle have just entered the foundry, Big Belly Burger in hand. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, they find Oliver and Sara waiting for them. Felicity is glad Sara's still here. She's rather fond of the former assassin turned vigilante. It's about time a girl does some of the ass kicking around here.
Dinner is set-aside on one of the tables and the two turn to look at Oliver and Sara expectantly. They can tell there is a conversation that needs to be had.
"If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to stay here and join your team." Sara's request is steady, sure of herself and her capabilities. But there's a slight nervousness in her eyes, like she's scared they would turn her away.
"Of course you can. I need another female around here to help balance out all of the testosterone." Felicity doesn't even hesitate to answer. Why would she?
"Diggle?" Oliver's inquiry is genuine. He wants to make sure the two key members of his team are okay with adding another person to their crusade.
"Sara, you've been running for the past six years. If you found a place you want to stay put in, who am I to stand in the way of that?"
"Thank you. I've forgotten what it's like to have a home. I'd like to be a part of that again." Sara's shoulders sag a little in relief and Oliver reaches out to take her hand.
"You're home now."
William Tockman is next to call the foundry home. Though it terrifies Felicity, how easily he's infiltrated her system and beat her at her own game, his description is eerily accurate. It's both a physical and metaphysical description.
"Where are you? Are you home? Are you safe? Somewhere you think you're safe? Somewhere without windows for anyone to creep through? Underground, perhaps? You think no one can get to you. You think no one can touch you in the safety of your hidey hole."
A sinking feeling crawls its way into her chest and a pressure starts to build. He knows. He knows where they are and he's going to use it against her. He's going to tear it down.
"Felicity." Oliver's worried inquiry sounds through the coms.
"But I can."
Everything is chaos. All of her equipment, her computers, her babies are destroyed in a shower of bright, electrical sparks. Tockman has infiltrated the place where she feels safe and he's blown it to pieces. The sense of security she's begun to associate with the foundry is gone. She stands there shaking in Digg's protective hold.
She doesn't stop until Oliver and Sara return.
"Felicity." Oliver calls her name from the stairs and suddenly she's across the room and in his arms, his bow clattering to the floor as his arms wrap around her. She's still shaking.
"Shh, shh, it's okay. You're safe. I'm here. You're safe." The arm around her waste tightens and the one in her hair begins to stroke lightly.
His words ring through her. Oliver is here. Oliver is here and she's safe. The sense of security that she normally feels in the foundry returns to her and she stops shaking.
That's when she realizes it. The foundry was never her home. This whole time she had assumed that her subconscious had identified this dark, cold place as home because of the hours she spent there. She figured the feeling of safety came from being hidden, underground. But that was never the case. This place isn't her home.
Her home is Oliver. He makes her feel safe and protected and important. She feels like she is a part of something, like she belongs. His mere presence is warm and comforting and all the other things people use to describe their homes. It's there, wrapped in Oliver's arms, that she realizes what home really is. Home is when she's with Oliver.
And it scares her. Scares her because she's relying on someone else so completely. Someone who could one day decide to up and leave her, who has left her before. He's promised that she'll never lose him but how can he be so sure? She might lose him one day because of something he can't possibly control. He could die, leaving her behind to reconstruct something she didn't even fully understand the meaning of until she met him.
The realization doesn't change anything, at least not outwardly. Once Tockman is taken down, Felicity spends the next week rebuilding the foundry and her system. Oliver and Sara continue their vigilante-ing and Diggle helps train Roy. It's business as usual.
Then Slade Wilson shows up. He infiltrates the mansion and taunts Oliver with his family. He threatens; no he promises that he will ruin everything good in Oliver's world. Digg, Sara, and Roy leave to provide back up for Oliver. All she can do is sit behind her computers with her injured shoulder and pray that no one gets hurt.
Later that night, when Slade leaves and Sara and Roy set up surveillance in the mansion, Roy under the guise of spending the night with Thea and Sara doing her ninja assassin thing outside, Felicity is surprised to hear a knock at her apartment window. For a split second she fears that Slade has somehow found out about her. She searches around for anything that can be used as a weapon. The closest thing is her alarm clock on the bedside table. That definitely won't help her against a Mirakuru-injected Slade Wilson. Damn it, she knew she should have drafted her last will and testament when she signed on for this night job.
She's broken out of her mental rambling by a more persistent knocking on her window and her name.
She instantly calms. She would recognize that voice anywhere. He says her name so differently from everyone else.
Felicity makes her way over to the window and unlocks it before sliding the glass up and popping out the screen. Oliver climbs through her window dressed in the same jeans and jacket combo he went home in. He must have come straight here from the mansion.
"Oliver, what are you doing here?"
"I had to make sure you were safe."
His eyes scan the room and then her person for anything out of place. She briefly does a mental check of what pajamas she's wearing – spandex and an old MIT sweatshirt – and when the last time she cleaned her room was – she thinks Sunday but she's rarely home enough to make a mess anyway.
"Yeah, I'm fine." His eyes are still darting around the room and she sees his hands, clenched tightly into fists, begin to shake. "Are you?"
"What? Yeah. I just wanted to check on you."
Slowly, like one would with a wounded wild animal, Felicity approaches Oliver. Her hands raised slightly at her sides and eyes focused on his face. She reaches out to grab his hand. He flinches but relaxes slightly when their fingers intertwine.
"Oliver, you don't have to lie to me. Tell me what you're thinking."
He makes eye contact then and whatever he sees there must be what he's looking for because all the sudden she can see fear and pain and anger and a million other emotions flood through him.
"Oh, Oliver." She pulls him to her and wraps her arms around his neck while his pull around her waist. It was risky, initiating this contact, but it seems to be exactly what he needs to let that last defense go.
"He invaded my home, Felicity. My mother, my sister, the team, he is going to destroy all of it."
"We won't let him." She vows right there and then that she will do whatever it takes to stop Slade.
"You don't know what he's capable of. I have to stop him before anyone gets hurt." The shaking has spread from his hands to his entire body.
"No, not by yourself." She pulls back to stare him down, to let him know how serious she is about this.
"I can't drag anyone else into this. It started with him and me. That's how it's going to end." Oliver starts to pull away but she moves her hands to frame his face and force him to look at her.
"We're already in this, Oliver. Sara, Digg, Roy, Thea, Moira, we are all a part of this now. He threatened us all. Maybe not me directly, but he threatened my team, my family in every sense of the word that matters. You're not alone in this. You haven't been for awhile and it's about time you realized that."
"Felicity, I –"
"No, Oliver. You're not doing this alone. You can't do this alone. The sooner you accept that the sooner we can take Slade down."
"I can't have anything happen to you." Felicity can see in his eyes that he knows what she's said is true. She sees the resignation and the fear of what could happen.
"Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm not saying that I should go out into the field or anything. I'm not an idiot. But I am saying that you have to let me help. You have to let me in. You have to let the team in."
There's silence for a minute as Oliver takes in everything she's just said. Then he pulls her back to him and whispers in her ear.
"Okay." They stand there, in an embrace that shouldn't be suitable for friends but is suitable for them. "I'm staying here tonight."
"Oh, are you?" Felicity tries to make light of the situation, to make the burden on him at least somewhat bearable. She feels him smile slightly against her neck.
"Please. For my sanity?"
"What will Sara think?" She's joking but there's also a hint of truth to the question.
"She already knows I'm here."
They don't talk after that. Somehow they silently come to an agreement about their sleeping arrangements. Felicity falls asleep with her head on his chest, ear resting above his beating heart. The rhythm soothes her. It's steady and strong.
It sounds like home.
"OLIVER!" Radio static sounds from the coms and then silence.
He could be hurt and she wouldn't know. He could be dead and she wouldn't know. He could be dead. And Felicity can't do anything about it.
They left to face off with Slade, they being Oliver, Sara, Digg, and Roy. Oliver made her swear to stay in the foundry with the doors sealed shut. He couldn't focus on defeating Slade when he was worrying about her. She had agreed but not before asking him.
And now he's dead. Maybe. She can't know for sure but that doesn't stop her mind from assuming the worst possible conclusion.
She sits in a state of terror for the next hour before she hears the door open and footsteps on the stairs. For a minute she contemplates not turning around. But then Digg calls her.
"Felicity, get the medical supplies and start a transfusion on him, right now."
Oliver is supported by Roy and Digg, both of whom sport various cuts and bruises but otherwise don't seem to require immediate attention. She rushes to follow Digg's orders as relief flows through her because he's alive. He came back to her.
"You came home." She grabs his hand and his eyes flutter, opening slightly to look at her.
"I promised I would." Then he loses consciousness and she can't help the sob that escapes her. She knows he's going to be okay but everything is crashing down on her in this moment. He's here and he's going to be okay. Oliver, John, Roy, and –
"Where's Sara?" The two men freeze and she knows.
Sara didn't make it.
He comes to her apartment the night of Sara's funeral. It's her second official funeral after her third and final death. This time he uses the front door.
Felicity opens it to see him still in the suit he wore to the funeral. The only thing different is he's missing the tie and a few buttons have been loosened at the top of his dress shirt. His eyes are bloodshot and puffy. She hasn't cried since that night with Slade.
"I… I don't really know how I got here. I just started driving and…"
She pulls him in and leads him to the bedroom. Robotically, he kicks off his shoes and she helps him with the suit jacket, throwing it over her desk chair. She pushes him to lie down and curls up to his side when he complies. Then she cries. In the safety of his arms she finally cries.
It feels like hours until she runs out of tears. Her voice is hoarse from sobbing and the skin around her eyes stings from rubbing at it. At some point they shifted so she's lying fully on top of him, her ear finding its place over his heart.
"I'm a terrible person." It's the first time either of them has spoken since she pulled him inside.
"Oliver, you're not responsible for Slade's actions." Her voice is barely a whisper but she knows he can hear it.
"No, I know that."
Felicity doesn't understand. She could see the guilt in his eyes when he came to her door. She though that, in true Oliver fashion, he had been blaming himself for Sara's death.
"I said it because when I came back and saw you in the foundry, all I could think was 'thank God it wasn't Felicity' and that makes me a terrible person. Sara's death was, is devastating but if it was you…" He pauses to collect himself. "If it was you, Felicity, I would have wished for Slade to kill me, too."
"Oliver! What about Moira and Thea? Digg? Roy? They all need you. They're your family."
"They're my family but you're my home." Her breath catches in her throat. Is it really possible that he holds her in the same regard she does him? "When I'm with you, I'm not as on edge. I don't suspect everything and everyone around me. I'm not terrified of people who don't exist anymore and memories that I can't change. When I'm with you I feel safe and whole again."
It takes her a second to comprehend what he's saying. And when she finally does, she doesn't even second-guess what she says next.
"You're my home too."
She leans in to press her lips to his for the first time and it's everything she's never even dared to dream of. It's slow and sweet and he tastes slightly of mint. His tongue runs along the seam of her lips and she opens up to him. His hand buries itself in her hair and angles her head so he can deepen the kiss, tongues sliding together hot and wet. She lets out a whimper because finally, finally this is happening.
Oliver's lips leave Felicity's mouth and trail down the column of her throat, nipping slightly when he reaches her collarbone and making her moan. He follows the same path back up the other side and to her ear, teasing the shell where her industrial piercing resides. She runs her fingers through his hair and yanks his lips back to hers. He groans when she catches his bottom lip between her teeth, tugging slightly.
Their positions change as he grabs at her waist and rolls them over. One of his legs slides between hers and lightly presses against her core. Her hips buck in response and she's slightly embarrassed by the desperate moan that leaves her.
"Yeah, yeah I'm right here. I'm right here." He pants the words against the top of her breast, exposed by her tank top.
Felicity reaches up to unbutton his shirt but loses focus when he slides his hands down her sides and up underneath her top. The material moves with his hands and bunches up right underneath her bra. He slides down to kiss the bare skin of her stomach and she grinds down on his leg.
"Shirt. Yours. Take it off."
He pulls back and does as she asks, kneeling before her in a pair of dress pants only. She reaches out to run her hands over his abs, scraping lightly with her nails when she reaches the skin above his waistband and she swear she hears him growl. Her hands grab onto his belt and pull him back on top of her.
They shed the rest of their clothes in a matter of seconds, desperate to feel each other. Oliver lowers his head and kisses the tip of her breast, causing it to tighten. Felicity gasps and arches into him as he alternates between gentles kisses and playful nips.
She runs her hands the length of his arms, up to his shoulders, and down his back. His body is all muscle and the contrast between smooth skin and rough scars excites her. Her hands wander back over his stomach and up his chest. When her hand meets the bullet wound on his shoulder she pauses.
This is the scar that brought them together. The scar that opened up Oliver's life to her and made her a part of his world. The scar that brought her home. She leans forward and kisses it reverently. When she pulls back Oliver is gazing down at her intently.
"Do they bother you?"
Felicity pulls Oliver to her for a kiss and she can feel everything he's not saying in the way that his lips press against hers. The desperation soon returns and she gets lost in the feel of his hands on her bare skin. One of his hands slides down between her legs and they both groan at the contact.
"Jesus, Felicity, you're so fucking wet. Can I… I need to…"
"Condom. Bedside table." His fingers on his right hand circle her clit before pressing on it with the just the right amount of pressure while his other hand searches the drawer. "Fuck! Oliver, hurry…"
Finally grabbing the condom, Oliver rips it open and rolls it down his hard length. He positions himself at her entrance and grabs her hands, pinning them down on either side of her head, before sliding in.
"Oliver!" He doesn't move, giving her time to adjust to him.
"Felicity." He presses his forehead against hers, breathing harshly with restraint.
"Just, give me a minute." It's been awhile for her and he's big, bigger than almost anyone she's ever been with. She gives an experimental tilt of her hips and she gasps at how right it feels. "Okay, yeah, that's good. That's so good."
He takes that as his sign to move and he pulls out before thrusting back into her. It's unlike anything he's ever felt. He's finally inside Felicity and the realization only makes him harder.
It's messy, lacking his usual control but this is Felicity and this has been building up for months, years, from the first time he walked into her office with a bullet ridden laptop and a lame excuse he hid with a charming smile. A smile she saw right through.
Felicity starts to tighten and Oliver is close. He rolls them again so that she's riding him and the angle hits a spot in Felicity she didn't even know she had.
"Ol-Oliver. Oh my God… I'm gonna…" She can't even finish her sentence she's so lost in it all.
"Come on top of me. Just like this. Let go, Felicity."
It's the way he says her name, low and needy with arousal, that pushes her over the edge. She screams his name, feeling every nerve ending in her body come alive and flood with sensation. He grabs her hips, guiding Felicity through her orgasm and he follows soon after.
It feels like home.
"As some of you know, I didn't have the ideal family growing up. My mother is… well my mother, and my father has been out of the picture since I was very little. I remember this time in elementary school when my teacher gave us this assignment where we had to write about what home was. She described it as a place that made us feel safe and wanted, a place where you were secure and where you belonged. I didn't know what to write about because I had never really felt that way." Tears start to well in Felicity's eyes and she reaches up to dab at them.
"Shoot, sorry Thea, I know you're going to kill me if I ruin my make up after making it this far." Laughter rises from the people filling the room before she continues. "Anyway, I never did finish that assignment and pretty much forgot all about it. Until four years ago, when I became a part of Oliver's life. He came into my cubicle with a broken laptop, explaining he had spilt a latte on it." She rolls her eyes at the grin Oliver gives her from his seat. "I didn't think anything was going to come of it. I would fix his laptop and then never see him again. But he kept coming back to me and after awhile we became friends. He let me in and I saw a side of him not many get to see. As our friendship grew I started to feel like I finally fit somewhere, like I finally belonged. And I realized I had found something I didn't know I was missing. I found a home. It was a scary realization, the idea that one person had come to mean so much to me. I wasn't used to relying on other people. So I kept it hidden. I remained his friend and I was okay with that."
She really is crying now and there's no stopping it. Someone hands her a napkin and she tries to salvage as much of her make up as possible. Oliver's hand reaches up to grab hers and his thumb moves back and forth over the ring on her finger. He gently pulls her down for a kiss and she gives him a soft smile.
"Okay, sorry, emotional bride here. Where was I? Oh yeah, remaining his friend. So that was the choice I had made, to be his friend and not risk losing having him in my life. Then Sara died." She pauses to catch her breath. "Sara died and Oliver showed up at my door. We didn't talk. Just sat there and held each other for a while, grieving the loss of our dear friend. Out of nowhere he starts telling me that I make his life better and that he feels safe with me. He told me I was his home and that was the end of the whole friendship thing." She pauses let out a watery laugh and to dab at her eyes, even though at this point it's pretty much pointless.
"So I just want to say thank you. Thank you to Sara for bringing us together. I wish you could be here today. And thank you to Oliver." She turns to face him fully. "Thank you for giving me the best home I could ever ask for."
She let's the tears fall and Oliver stands, cupping her cheeks and brushing them away. Glasses are clinking and she can hear a few sniffles from the friends and family celebrating this day with them. Oliver leans down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. He pulls back and leans his forehead against hers. Neither one of them open their eyes.
"I love you. I love you so damn much, Felicity Meghan Queen."
"I love you, too." She leans back in for another kiss.
They're both finally home.
So, yeah this happened. It's my first smut so sorry if it's kind of meh. I should really be writing this long!fic I started on. But the inspiration hit on my lonely road trip back to school for this and I couldn't get it out of my head.
Let me know what you think! I thrive off of comments apparently.
Thank you for reading :)