Author's Note: I doubt anyone even actually reads these damn things, but alas, I just wanted to say hello. Yes, I have indeed boarded the Elsanna train and no, I will not be shamed off of it. This story does not contain incest, but fuck you if you shame anyone for shipping it in non-abusive and completely consensual ways.
There, now I'm off my soap box. Please enjoy my addition to the plethora of gorgeously developed AU's for these two lovely ladies. This will be a multi-chaptered fic and yes, there will actually be a plot outside of Kristoff and Anna doing stupid stuff and Elsa cleaning up their mess. Well, that will be the majority of the fic, but you get the point. There will definitely be some smooching as well.
Anyway, enjoy! Also, as evidence proclaims, I am no Disney and these characters do not belong to me.
The Billionaire's Daughter
Kristoff had been so certain. He had sounded so absolutely resolute in the idea that this was going to be fun, that she would actually enjoy herself. Oh, how very wrong he was.
Anna had never been an exceptional fan of winter sports. Sure, a nice snowfall for the sake of snowman building and snow angels had always been in good fun, but the idea of plummeting down a remarkably steep mountain at breakneck speeds while balanced on a single plank of wood just seemed down right stupid. While she was known for all of the stupid things she and her older brother, Kristoff, happened to do, this was really taking the proverbial cake.
"Kris, this is literally the worst idea you've ever had and I fucking hate you." It wasn't exactly Kristoff's idea, per say, though Anna seemed to recall quite a bit of goading into this particular endeavor. Kristoff, being nearly two years older than Anna and a student at the University of Denver, had much more experience snowboarding than his younger sister. He had also done a fair bit of winter boarding back in high school, always finding some way back to the slopes. Anna, on the other hand, much preferred all of the warmth and comfort summer could provide. When their family moved to Denver, Kristoff had suggested that after so long apart he and his 'favorite little twerp' could spend some quality time on the mountain. She distinctly recalled something about 'finding out whether Anna liked the taste of snow, because Kristoff would be boarding circles around her.' Not to be outdone, of course, Anna had immediately strapped on a board and accepted her brother's invitation.
So okay, maybe it was mostly her idiotic pride that now had her up on this damned chairlift with Kristoff grinning like an idiot in her direction. Still, he was a much larger target and much easier to blame.
"You only curse when you're nervous. It's unbecoming, fiestypants." Kristoff did not even attempt to hide his chuckles. This pissed Anna off to the point that she considered simply lugging the big idiot off the lift and into the snow. Which happened to be far away. Very far away.
Her anger was swallowed and replaced by a distinct lump in her throat. "Seriously, what if I die? Oh my God, Kristoff, what if I actually really hurt myself and then I won't be able to walk I'll be what are those people called you know the ones who can't move anything below their necks shit oh God what are they called I can't even remember why the fuck are there so many trees on a ski slope aren't you supposed to avoid those I can't avoid anything holy God I'm going to be a whatcha-ma-call-it-"
Kristoff was now doubled over, clinging to the drop bar for support. "Jesus Anna, they're called quadriplegics. And you aren't going to die or be paralyzed. This isn't the actual run we're doing; this is a black diamond. Our run is hardly anything more than a bunny slope. What kind of brother do you think I am?"
Though Anna wasn't entirely sure what bunnies had to do with snowboarding, she wasn't quite comfortable being compared to one. Bunnies ran fast. What if the mountain made her move fast?
"Relax kiddo," Kristoff's voice and an arm around her suddenly very tense shoulders brought Anna back to the present, "I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. Just listen to me and you'll be fine."
In that way that Kristoff had, Anna immediately felt better. Her shoulders relaxed under the pressure of his thick arm, and she gave a small smile, her teal eyes twinkling behind her goggles. Maybe this could be fun.
Of course, that was a foolish notion. Fun, by standard definition, had to be enjoyable. Whatever sorcery it took to successfully disembark from a lift chair was beyond Anna, and in no way enjoyable.
"On the count of three," they were getting closer, Kristoff's voice was muffled by the flaps of her hat, was he really sitting next to her or was he eighteen chairs in front of her?
"One," Jesus that drop still looked rather wide from where she was sitting, was she really to be expected to land and then not get knocked on her ass? Why the hell did she actually have the board strapped to her feet? Who's stupid idea was that?
"Two," Oh yeah, it was hers. Kristoff had told her that was a mistake. She didn't listen. Shit, how was she supposed to angle her body so that she didn't fall?
"Three," Oh God were they supposed to hop off on three or after three? Jesus why was this so hard?
The drop bar popped up under Kristoff's hand and a tug at her arm somehow jerked her free from her open mouthed terror. Was that solid ground under her feet? Had her board somehow made contact with the snow? She looked down. Big mistake.
Immediately, the chair came into sharp contact with the backs of her thighs as she stared in shock at her semi-successfully planted lower half, knocking both her and Kristoff off balance. Her brother tried to stabilize them both, but Anna was already going down and just praying that she could die from being knocked in the head by a chair lift as opposed to dying from embarrassment.
Neither, however, happened. Instead, Anna lie facedown in the powder, grumbling, narrowly missing being decapitated by a pair of skiers with atrocious potty mouths. "Anna, Jesus, get off your ass. You're going to get killed. Or worse, get us sued."
Heeding Kristoff's warning, likely for the first time in her life, Anna attempted to push herself up from the snow, only to find that she had very limited mobility in her lower half. Groaning, she gave what might have been the most pathetic look Kristoff had ever been tossed in his life. He took her by the shoulders, hoisting her upright and dusting the powder off her legs.
"Honestly, you're like a damn bull in a china shop. You okay?" Concern shined genuine in his eyes, and Anna almost forgot to be embarrassed for a moment.
Sheepishness crept onto her face as it heated with blood, her hand rising subconsciously to nervously rub the back of her neck. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Sorry, Kris."
A small grin peeked onto his shapely jaw, and he chuckled quietly to himself. "You're always sorry. Quit apologizing and start acting right, you loser." He bumped her shoulder playfully, nearly knocking her off balance again.
This time, however, Anna managed to stay righted, and grinned at her triumph. Kristoff could have burst with laughter, but decided to take a more diplomatic (and likely hygienic) route. "Lesson number one: stay mostly upright. Check."
Her brother lead her unceremoniously over to the opening of a much wider, much clearer, and much less slopped side of the mountain. "See, now does that look so scary?"
Anna had to admit, it was not quite so daunting as whatever geometric shape the last run had been compared to. "It doesn't look like it."
Kristoff let go of her arm, watching her wabble for a mere second before instinctively stretching out her arms to balance herself. "Good. That's a start. Follow your instincts. Now here's the deal, Anna. You're shit at anything that involves coordination," at this, Anna stuck her tongue out at him, "and you're about as balanced as an overworked suburban soccer mom, but I am amazing and charitable. Thus, I have determined that I, Kristoff Andrew Bjorgman, am in charge of instructing you in the ways of snowboarding."
Anna huffed, trying to blow a bit of fringe off her goggles. "Yeah, very generous of you, oh wise, omnipotent one. Could you get on with it? I'm freezing."
Kristoff clucked like a mother hen, but complied. "Here's the thing about snowboarding. You have to stay balanced and centered." Kristoff wedged his unstrapped board into the snow and padded over to her, settling his giant hands onto her shoulders and rearranging her orientation. "Face this way, and keep your shoulders centered. Not too tense, or you won't be able to change direction. Not too loose, or you won't be able to maintain your direction. Got it?"
"Paradoxical shoulders, got it." Anna flexed her shoulders to punctuate her statement, smirking in Kristoff's direction. Evidently he took his winter sports very seriously.
"I'm ignoring you. Anyway, next you need to keep your knees bent and get used to using your weight as a control mechanism. Watch this," Kristoff forced Anna to bend ever so slightly at her knees. "Shift your weight forward, but keep your shoulders squared."
Anna, in her best attempt, did as her brother commanded. Sure enough, Anna began to slide forward. This of course resulted in a yelp of surprise and unassuming flailing.
"Anna, Anna! Relax. Remember, centered shoulders or you die. Now, if you want to slow down, you just shift your weight back."
Again and again, Anna demonstrated this for Kristoff. She fell on her ass numerous times, both unceremoniously and then other times with all of the ostentatious squealing and disdain that he found oh-so-annoying and oh-so-endearing. When it appeared that Anna had mastered forward motion about as much as anyone with that much flailing could, Kristoff quickly instructed her in the art of turning.
This next lesson required even more practice, and though Anna had barely moved a hundred yards down the mountain, her legs and arms were already sore and her stomach snarled at her with distaste. None of her body was used to this much exertion.
"You're actually starting to look mediocrely competent, sis. I'm impressed." Kristoff smirked as Anna's stomach gave a crow of hatred. "Hungry?"
"Starved. How long have we been at it?"
Kristoff quickly checked his watch, clicking his tongue. "Couple of hours. It's nearly 12:30. Wanna grab some lunch and then practice some more? I promised Mom and Dad we'd meet them at The Atrium at the bottom of the slope, just to prove you hadn't offed yourself. Then, if you're underworked, scrawny legs are feeling up to it, we can work some more. Deal?"
The prospect of food sounded so remarkably appealing that Anna could have sworn she heard the hallelujah chorus. "God food sounds great. So, where's the lift down?"
The smirk that peeled onto Kristoff's face was the very epitome of evil, of darkness in the very finest forms. It snuck out over his face like a crack in the ice, wormed it's way into her heart and struck her fiercely. Anna felt a storm cloud rumbling in her chest.
"Silly little sister. There's only one way down." Anna gulped the frigid mountain air and anxiously glanced over her brother's shoulder. He was suddenly strapping on his board, the clacking of the hooks filled her ears as he straightened his feet. He was positioned in a flash, then glanced back at her, still grinning. "Meet ya at the bottom. Try to keep up."
This challenge sparked in her chest cavity like a match, and a grotesque smile filled Anna's face as well. She had to beat him. She had to. "You're on, fat head."
And then they were off. Somehow, Anna managed to stay righted, only losing her balance a few times in the beginning but never actually falling. She could tell Kristoff was taking it easy on her, likely to ensure that she didn't fall too far behind or, worse, into a tree, but there was no way he was letting her win. She gritted her teeth in distaste and urged her body forward.
Perhaps if she had been paying closer attention instead of trying to edge up on Kristoff, she would have realized that her shoulders were no longer squared and that her body was now angled slightly left. It was only when she saw the beginnings of a forest between them that she realized what had happened. Somehow she had gotten off the bunny slope, and there was no way of knowing how to get back on.
She almost screamed, but the sound froze in her lungs as she lost sight of Kristoff. For some reason, she could not force his name from her lips. Instead, she stared blindly forward, realizing very suddenly that this was nothing like the "slope" she had experienced previously.
When had the degree of the slope altered so drastically? And holy shit, why was this one so much more narrow?
Anna could do nothing but keep her arms outstretched and her mouth open as she barreled down the mountain. Still, Kristoff's lessons had not gone to waste. Anna was able to keep herself from slamming into several different pines that just so happened to find their way into her path, and she narrowly missed a jump that surely would have resulted in a devastating brain injury. Briefly, Anna's life flashed before her eyes. God, had she really worn her hair like that in seventh grade? What a travesty.
Miraculously, Anna found herself in a much clearer opening, facing the entirety of the resort. Skiers and snowboarders alike flew down the mountain, skillfully arching their curves to measure their speeds in a much more efficient and artful way than the crude mess Kristoff had taught her. No amount of shifting her weight would help her here. Thus, Anna resorted to her chief-most instinct: more flailing.
It was about halfway through her direct and dangerously fast decent down the open plane that Anna realized there was one other lesson Kristoff had yet to manage to teach her: how to stop.
Suddenly, with a flash of horror, Anna realized that there was a plastic cording of a barrier around the bottom of the slope to ensure that no idiotic beginner crashed down the mountain and into the crowds mulling below. Unfortunately, Anna was no ordinary idiotic beginner; she was the most accident prone idiot beginner in the history of the world.
Finally Anna managed a squeal, and the crowds that stood around her newly designated exit point scrambled out of the way of the impact. Anna lost all control of her "squared" shoulders and thrust her hands up, attempting to shield her face. Her body, in reaction, careened downward and squarely hit the barrier, her body catching and slamming down against the more hardened powder, ripping the barrier and sending the poor excuse for a snowboarder into the street.
Anna opened her eyes slowly, the haziness clouding her vision and the ungodly pounding in her head throbbing in her frontal lobe. That was going to make senior year interesting. An ungodly noise erupted from her throat. Holy shit did her leg hurt.
"Oh my goodness, are you alright?" Anna managed to look up.
It was so cliche. Really, her life had to have been some disgusting, low-budget rom-com, because this was the sort of uncanny cruelty that was only enforced on the weak-minded protagonists that Hollywood somehow managed to vomit into the public's eager mouths. Leaning beside her now, a knee brushed against her arm, was quite possibly the most beautiful girl in the entire world.
The girl's nimble fingers unclasped the helmet Anna was wearing and set it aside, moving another hand beneath her head to lean her up. Anna winced and cursed.
"I'm sorry, it's just… Well your nose is bleeding and it needs to drain back." The girl's voice was downright angelic. Who the hell said that was okay? "Wow, you're going to have an incredible bruise in a few hours."
Spectacular. I'm lying under quite possibly the most beautiful woman these queer eyes have ever seen and I just ran into a goddam wall. Good going, Bjorgman. Real smooth.
Anna tried to speak, but only ended up gurgling. Embarrassment shot through her, and immediately she clammed up. Fortunately, the girl above her seemed to find this amusing. She giggled, her brow still knotted together, but a small smile popped over her features. Wow. Freckles are awesome.
"I'm Anna." Her voice was an absolute disgrace, truly a criminal of treason. It sounded like a lawnmower that had just eaten a few hundred pebbles for breakfast.
The girl above her blushed, highlighting those so called 'awesome' freckles. Bright blue eyes twinkled. "Well, I didn't exactly ask."
Anna blanched, her skin paling into a color akin to green. Holy shit. She really didn't ask. I'm a fucking moron.
She made an attempt to cover, searching for anything to say, anything at all, anything coherent and competent, but the girl shushed her with another smile. "Just kidding, Anna. My name is Elsa."
Elsa. That's nice.
Anna was pretty sure Elsa had continued to talk, but she was distracted now by pale freckles and long, blonde eyelashes and perfectly applied purple eyeshadow and, really, how did she make her hair do that? If that wasn't just the coolest thing in the world, what was? Her lips quirked up in a smile, and Anna's heart fluttered in her chest. Yup. Definitely a rom-com.
"Anna? Are you listening to me?"
Anna snapped comically to attention, her mouth falling open as though she had just been caught with several Oreos stuffed into her gob. "Not one bit. What did you say?"
Fuck, did I just say that out loud?
As though taken aback by Anna's brutal, albeit unintentional, honesty, Elsa paused, mouth popping open ever so slightly. Anna felt heat course through her bones. How could silent gasping while fully clothed be so attractive?
Then Elsa was smiling again, one perfectly groomed eyebrow rising on her face. Anna nearly growled.
"I said, we need to get you to the hospital now to get that leg checked out. Can you walk?"
Anna paused, affronted. My leg? Why the hell wouldn't I be able to walk?
Curiously, Anna gazed down to where Elsa had evidently rolled up her pant leg-the thought filled her with all sorts of momentary shivers-before realizing exactly why Elsa was concerned about her ability to walk.
As though someone had simply scooted the entirety of the bottom half of Anna's right leg to the left, her knee cap seemed to have completely released any sort of hold on Anna's femur. The leg rolled grotesquely and limply out of place. Pain shot through Anna's body at the realization.
And then, like the pansy she was, Anna lost all conscious thought and her body went limp in Elsa's palm.