"I Hate Pokeballs"



I hate pokéballs. It's just my opinion, of course, but I hate them so much!!! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a Sandshrew, a mouse type of the ground element. My trainer's name is Cap. He's out to become the world's greatest Pokémon Writer or something. He's not bad, but he makes me look like some sort of smart ass. Anyway, moving on...

Why do I hate those dreaded spheres you ask? Can you say "cramped"? That's an understatement!! I can barely move, let alone breathe. I can still talk, think, hear and see and all that stuff, but a lot of good it does me.

Well, I guess moving and breathing isn't important 'cause when your in the ball, you're energy. You're turned into energy! That's what that red beam does. It's a really cool experience. At first. Now it's just boring.

That's another thing! It's boring in those stupid things!! There is NOTHING to do in there!!! Nothing to do but plot my reven....collect my thoughts, which is mainly how I'm gonna piss Cap off next. Goddish, I love that kid! Anyway, nothing to do. Boring as hell. I keep asking Cap to get me one of those "ultra balls." They can pick up tv and radio signals. Cheap son of a...moving on...

You know what else I hate about pokéballs? Cap only put me in when he gets sick of me! I know I can be annoying sometimes, but you can't help but be offended! That little bas....moving on!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of those things, unlike a certain yellow rat. And I can come out on my own anytime I want. And that's yet another thing! It's hard to come out on my own 'cause of "the program." Ever wonder why when a trainer catches a Pokémon that was trying to kill him, it almost always obeys him without question? Because the ball messes with your head, man! It tells you stuff like "My trainer is my friend" and "I love my trainer" till you snap!! It's probably the only reason I haven't kill...MOVING ON!

Well, I have to go. Cap's found out that I stole his pen and some paper and its only a matter of time before he finds me. In closing I'd just like to say: pokeballs suck. They're cramped. They mess with your brain. And there's nothing to do inside.

But fear not fellow ground types! As I said, I have had time to plan. Soon, our kind will take this world, and then, we will have our revenge! The humans will do battle for us and they will live in that miniature hell! Soon, the ground types will rise and....oh. Hi Cap....