So this is my first story I hope it is good :)

Warning this story will be an eventual Slash between Kendall and James If you have a problem with that then please do not read or leave any Flames for it.

This is rated T for now but may go up to M later

Let me know what you think and all mistakes are mine.


Disclamer: I do not own anything to do with Big Time Rush

James POV

In. Out. In. Out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

It is just what I have to keep doing to ignore them.

1… 2… 3… 4… 5

Step to the left, backflip.

'You're going to crash'


'Damit leave me alone'


"Sorry Gustavo I missed the landing."

Kendall stuck his hand out to help me up "Come on buddy up you get" he said with a smile.

'Why take his hand he is just going to kill you in your sleep, they are all out to get you little Jamie.'

'Shut up! Leave me ALONE! Kendall would never hurt me.'

I took Kendall's hand and he helped me up off the floor.

"You okay James?"

"Yeah, fine, just a bruised ego." I said with a small chuckle, though I wasn't really fine I was freaking out, what if they're right, the voices, and everyone really was out to get me.

I started pulling at my hair a nervous thing that I had picked up to try and make the voices stop but they keep talking to me.

'Why wouldn't they be out to get you? What are you to them the 'pretty one' the Face of Big Time Rush? You are nothing really, they could go on without you.'

'Shut up. Shut up. Please'

"James, are you okay?" Carlos asked.

I looked up and saw that everyone was looking at me.

"What? Oh I'm fine, why?" I looked around trying my hardest to ignore the voices telling me that they were out to get me, it was very hard and was getting harder each moment that passed.

"You were pulling at your hair and muttering to yourself." Kendall answered looking at me funny.

'He is thinking, what is the best way to lock you up in the nut house'

'No. No. Kendall would never do that.'

"I'm fine I just need some air. I will be back in a moment." I said and left the dance studio to go outside for a bit.

'I see why you have so much faith in Kendall… hmm… You love him… Wow, you know he would never love you back. Why would he love you? You don't deserve to be loved.'

Why won't they just shut up I sat on a bench outside, people were staring at me, they are all after me. I just carried on sitting and pulling at my hair hoping it would all just go away. I am all alone.

Well what do you think? Shall I continue?

Please Review :)