'Woah, Sam sure had his ass on fire. What happened? Where did you guys go?' Dean asked Cas once he heard the hurried clang of the bunker door closing as Sam made a break for it, moving as though hellhounds were on his tail, shouting out 'I'mgonnagoseeCharlieorKevinorwhateverbyeDean!' as he ran past, stupid girl hair flapping around his huge head as he belted up the stairs.
'He helped me with an errand to the pharmacy,' Cas said, small crinkle between his eyebrows as he stared at the stairs Sam had just ran up, 'I think I may have embarrassed him.'
'So, you just walked in there and… and…' and Dean was off again, howling with laughter as he rolled around on the bed, clutching his stomach, not able to look at Cas lest he laugh himself to death.
'Dean, it really wasn't that funny,' Cas said, sounding a little put out as he stood at the end of the bed, holding his bag of stuff that Dean hadn't even looked at yet. Dean bit the inside of his cheek and took a few shaky breaths before sitting up and facing Cas.
'I'm sorry, Cas, it was just… a funny visual thing. So, erm, what did you get, apart from the lube?'
Dean was kinda glad that Sam had been mercilessly dragged into this; it let Dean focus on the joy of embarrassing his baby brother instead of his own anxieties about what they were planning. It'd been a long time since Dean'd popped a cherry; the fact that it was a very male cherry was unnerving at best. John had always made it clear what he thought of gay people, especially men ('Look at that mincing faggot. Bet his father's fucking mortified'), so Dean had never allowed himself to do anything with men, never wanted his father to find out and be even more disappointed in him. Now though, now there was Cas and Dean loved him, more than he had ever loved any of the women he'd been with, more than he ever thought possible, and Dean wanted him, in every way possible. He lived for watching Cas fall apart under his ministrations, that hitching gasp of breath as Cas's back began to arch and his balls pulled tight, the look in his eyes, both innocent and seductive, as he cried out Dean's name.
Dean was nervous, yeah, but, fuck, he was excited too.
One thing Castiel did not like about this process was having to clean the area. He conceded that having a vagina meant that sexual intercourse could be a little more spontaneous. However, despite not really ever having a sexuality beyond Dean, Cas was pretty sure that he was gay anyway as the gay porn he had been watching surreptitiously for a while now, to learn from, had definitely excited him in more ways than one. But, when it came right down to it, it was all about Dean; it always had been.
Cas felt his heart flutter with anticipation and nerves as he finished cleaning himself and stepped out of the shower. They'd mutually decided on Castiel being the recipient, the 'bottom' as it's known, which Cas could tell Dean was relieved about. As much as Cas knew Dean loved him, and that knowledge made his chest feel like it was expanding impossibly, ready to burst as his love for Dean tugged at his heart, Cas knew that Dean still had years of homophobia and deeply ingrained ideas about gender to overcome. They were getting there though; in truth it had been easier than Cas could ever have hoped. Well, once they were finally together anyway. Dean's sexual appetite was voracious and he touched and kissed Cas in ways that Castiel had never even imagined, not in all his years of fantasising about his beautiful Dean.
As Cas began to towel dry himself, quickly rubbing at his hair and letting it fall where it may ('One of the things I love most about you, Cas, your just-been-fucked-hair.'), he eyed the tub of lubricant that sat next to the bathroom sink. Dean's insistence that they use a condom 'just in case' meant that it was even more important to use a long-lasting lube so they had settled on the silicone ('Cas, can we just… you know?' 'Dean, this is important. We must discuss everything thoroughly.' 'Ok Cas, yeah, whatever you think is best. We'll use that one…'). Cas draped his wet towel over the rail and picked up the tub. Dean had been blushing and shy when Cas brought up the question of mechanics and preparation but Cas could tell he was excited from the way he kept chewing on his lip. It soon became obvious that Dean had done his own research, which made Cas feel warm inside, so the conversation was put aside in favour of laying down on the bed and writhing against each other, nipping and kissing. After a while Dean rolled on top and held Cas's arms above his head and he pulled up Cas's t shirt to bare his chest, leaning his forehead against Castiel's warm skin. Cas could feel he was hard as Dean thrust his hips, gasping as they rubbed together, setting off aching sparks deep within both men as they rutted, grabbing and pulling at each other, lost in sensation. After they both reached orgasm, Cas groaning into Dean's neck, Dean thrusting down against him, the men drifted to sleep together, too sated to talk any more.
The next evening, Dean called Sam to be certain that he would be away for a few days, safely eating pizza with Charlie, Kevin and Mrs Tran, and, as Dean put it, geeking out on video games ('Sammy, could you be more of a nerd?' … 'No I don't! You suck!' … 'Yeah, Yeah, see ya Sammy. Oh and, by the way, thanks for the lube!' Cas heard an indignant squawk from Sam as Dean chuckled and hung up) so that they could have the privacy they needed to make love for the first time.
'You know, it's gonna hurt a little, Cas, no matter how much we prep you.'
'I know, Dean, but I'll be fine.'
'Ok, but, you know, I… I don't want to hurt you. At all. I've already done too much of that.' Dean was on top of him, had been kissing every part of his chest as they spoke, his tongue dipping into here or there making Cas gasp and shiver, but now he was looking at Cas's arms, at the scars that littered his skin, some still bright and rough from the lack of stitching, others already fading into silvery-pink marks. Dean's eyes, though shadowed in the dim lamp light, were bright green, impossibly so, like emeralds threaded with opal, and heavy with sadness, with guilt.
'Dean…' Cas began, wanting to soothe that terrible look from his hunter's eyes but Dean pressed two fingers to his lips and shook his head, looking down and away.
'Please don't, Cas. I don't deserve forgiveness; I don't want it. Just… please, no matter what happens, no matter how I fuck up, and I will, I always do…' Dean's voice cracked a little and Castiel's heart ached and then Cas was kissing him and rolling them, pushing his hands into Dean's hair as he pressed his lips hard against Dean's, stopping him from talking. When he pulled away Dean opened his mouth but Cas clapped a hand over it.
'Dean, I do not wish to think of our tortured past, not when the future is so wonderful ahead of us. I will not harm myself, you will not harm yourself, we will discuss anything that comes up and we will learn how to do this together. Ok?' Cas tilted his head, waiting for Dean to nod. After a quiet grumble, Dean's eyes relaxed and nodded, the skin crinkling around them as Cas pressed himself closer to Dean and said 'Now, I would like for you to fuck me.'
Cas smiled to himself as he recalled Dean's face when he had said that, the way his pupils had blown out, drowning the green in lustful black. As he unscrewed the lid of the lube, ready to self-prep a little, Cas shuddered with anticipation at what they were about to do.
Cas was on his back, panting, as Dean ran his clever hands across his body, pausing to rub his hip bones then dip into his belly button, the tongue that followed making Cas shiver as Dean made his way down to his cock. The ache low inside his body was just this side of painful as Dean wrapped a hand around him and he couldn't help but gasp and thrust up into Dean's hand, his eyes closing as his head fell back as Dean worked him. Cas's breath stuttered when he felt a cool, wet finger hesitantly sliding down to rub against his hole.
'Wow, Cas, you already got started huh?' Dean said softly as he slipped a finger inside Castiel who immediately rolled his hips, his eyes shutting and mouth falling slack at the feeling. It burned a little, like a muscle under pressure will, but it felt good, too. Intimate and wonderful.
'Is that ok, Cas? Does it hurt?' Dean looked adorably uncertain as Cas took a shuddery breath in.
'It feels good, Dean, I… I like it,' Cas murmured, feeling that tell-tale warmth bloom in his cheeks at the admission, even as Dean groaned and bent to nip at his hip bones, gently moving his finger. Cas gasped then moaned as Dean pulled out, clenching around the sudden emptiness. Dean chuckled low in his throat, the sound sending sparks straight to Cas's cock that was aching even more as Dean slowly stroked him. Just as a second finger began to breach him, Dean pulled the tip of Cas's cock into his mouth and suckled gently, dark eyes gazing intently at Cas as he shuddered and cried out.
'Oh, ah, no, I'll, fuck me, Dean! I'll come, stop, oh, ahhh,' Cas scrabbled wildly at the bed covers as he tried to control himself, tried to calm the fast-rising pleasure, too quick climbing towards its peak. Dean pulled off him with a slightly smug looking half smile that was both mildly aggravating and completely endearing.
'Is that ok, Cas? Is it hurting?' Dean placed gentle biting kisses to Cas's inner thighs as he spoke and Cas felt his skin shiver and pucker.
'No, Dean, I… it's… nnnngh,' Cas whined, desperately.
'Ok, Cas, it's ok. How does this feel?'
Cas felt Dean's fingers inside him move and then Cas was keening loudly, back fully arched as white hot pleasure, almost painful in its intensity, sparked off everywhere inside his body, lighting him up inside. 'Ahhhhhh, oh Dean, no, I'm gonna, uhhh,' Cas gasped, just barely keeping his orgasm at bay, wanting to come with Dean inside him, not a second before.
As the feelings receded enough for Cas to breathe, he noticed that the burning caused by Dean's fingers was a little worse, though still not exactly painful, and realised Dean must have slipped a third inside him. Cas wiped the sweat off his brow and looked down at Dean and couldn't help the brief burst of love and lust that popped in his chest as he saw the state of his hunter. Dean Winchester, scourge of demons and monsters, shyly biting his bottom lip as he looked at Cas through his lashes and stroked himself, his breath coming in quick pants as they looked at each other.
'I think I'm ready for you to fuck me now.'
Dean had to grab the base of his cock and take a deep breath when his angel told him he was ready to be fucked. Dean couldn't help the low growl in the back of his throat as he gently removed his fingers from Cas who whined, actually whined, and clenched, his big eyes full of want. Cas looked completely debauched, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat, his cock hard and steadily leaking, his ass just… nnnnnrg, don't fucking come yet!
For once he was grateful for the brief interruption of the condom, rolling it down over his own aching cock, as well as the hope that it would enable him to last. That had never been a problem before, not with any of the women he'd fucked over the years, but Cas was… fucking… everything and Dean could hardly control himself as he spread a generous layer of lube over the condom, wanting to make sure Cas wouldn't feel any pain.
Before he could line himself up, Dean found himself pulling Cas up, kissing him ferociously, his lubed hand slipping across Cas's back as he clutched the smaller man to him and tried to pour everything he felt and didn't know how to say into that kiss so Cas would know, really know how Dean felt and what this meant to him. Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair and kissed him back just as hard, teeth nipping at Dean's bottom lip as he pulled away and gasped in some air, his forehead pressed against Cas's, not wanting to be apart for even a second. Cas chuckled a little breathlessly and ran his hand down Dean's left cheek, slipping the tip of his thumb into his mouth, tugging at the corner of Dean's kiss-swollen lips. Dean turned his head and nibbled on the pad of Cas's thumb and Cas smiled.
'I love you, Dean.'
'I love you, too.'
Dean kissed Cas one more time before grabbing a pillow and slipping it underneath Cas's ass, his fingers trembling a little as Cas eagerly spread his legs wider and made a small noise of anticipation. With one last deep breath, Dean lined himself up with Cas and slowly began to press in.
Castiel's nails dug painfully into the blanket beneath him as Dean slid inside him. He felt significantly larger than the fingers had and yet, despite the burn and the slight pain, Cas thought he had never felt anything so wonderful in all his long life. Pausing to ask if Cas was ok, Dean groaned when Cas clenched around him, his body flexing then relaxing around the intrusion, allowing Dean to slide in deeper as Cas gasped pleading nonsense, his hips lifting a little as his cock sought friction. With another low growl, Dean was buried so deep in Cas that the former angel could feel Dean's balls, heavy with want, warm against his skin. Both men were shuddering, sweating trying to hold on.
'Cas-ahhh fuck-ok, Cas, tell me, nnnrg, when I-'
'Move, Dean! Please, please move-uhhhhh.'
In a sudden blur of sensation, Cas felt Dean begin to fuck him, tentative thrusts giving way to harder ones, Cas writhing and moaning, Dean groaning and biting at the sensitive skin on Cas's sides. Cas dug his nails into the meat of Dean's back, making Dean cry out and fuck into him even harder, seeking his prostate, his hands grabbing hold of Cas's ass cheeks. Cas shifted a little, changing the angle of penetration then yelled Dean's name as Dean nailed his prostate, over and over until Cas felt his orgasm build to the point of no return.
'Ohhhhhhhh, Dean, I, fuck, yes, oh fuck, uhhh, I'm, oh Dean, Deeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan!'
As soon as Cas came, screaming Dean's name, hands clawed into the bed covers, the perfect tight heat wrapped around Dean's cock spasmed and Dean came like a shotgun blast, vision whiting, Cas's name on his lips, pleasure unlike anything he'd ever felt blowing out everything in his body until he collapsed, drifting in a post-orgasmic haste, too sated and weary to care about anything but wrapping around Castiel, his angel, his love, and falling into a blissful sleep, Cas's arms slumped around him as he too drifted off.
It was perfect.
As Sam scrambled to pack a bag ready for his stay at Charlie's, throwing in a few hunter's essentials as he went, cutting off the sound of Charlie's hysterical laughter coming from his phone, he marvelled again at that old adage; the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Sure, Sam had experienced the real thing and it wasn't something to be taken lightly but, if he ever walked in on Dean, naked, bending an also naked Cas over the kitchen table again, he would voluntarily find an angel to burn his eyes out and throw him into the Pit.
Running up the stairs, bag on shoulder, hands pressed to his ears to drown out the sound of his brother fucking his ex-angel of the lord on the table where they eat breakfast, Sam seriously began to consider that relocation idea. I hear England's nice, Sam thought desperately as, for the thousandth time, Castiel and Dean screamed each other's names, the sound mercifully cut off as Sam slammed the bunker's front door.
With a mortified sigh, Sam got into his car, started the engine, and fled.
My life really sucks.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely comments. Due to having a lot of technical problems with this site and receiving no word from the support people, future fics will be posted here: /users/InterestingCorpse/pseuds/InterestingCorpse