DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Lorien Legacies or "Human", by Christina Perri.
I can hold my breath
I close my eyes and lower myself into the tub letting the cold water chill me to the bone. I need to think. I need to be alone. Away from Six's concerned stare and Nine's apologies.
I can bite my tongue
I haven't said anything about my feelings to anyone yet. I can't bring myself to accept it. That he's gone, that I couldn't do anything to save him... that he's never coming back.
I can stay awake for days
I haven't slept since that day, because every time I close my eyes I see it all over again, the blade sliding through his heart, his arms outstretched as he stumbles towards me, his last words lost before they leave his lips.
If that's what you want
He never had a chance to defend himself, and that's what he wanted. He made a choice... and I know it's selfish of me to wish he had asked me first. Ask if I was Ok with losing him... just ask.
Be your number one
He was my best friend, that's all I'm sure of. But we could have been much more... we could have been together. But now he's gone
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
But I don't let the others see my pain, or atleast the true extent of it. They pity me, they think I'm fragile... broken even. He would never have wanted to see me like this, but for me to be happy? That's a request he can never make of me...
Give you all I am...
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I don't feel anything anymore. My life has become routine, I'm not living, not even surviving... just existing. A biological machine that will go on until the day I finally join him.
I can hold the weight of worlds
But until then I fight this war... our war. A war to protect not only the world, the planet I left behind but the one that sheltered me as well. This planet, Earth, my home for many years will not fall to the Mogadorians... I will not let it.
If that's what you need
Be your everything...
I can do it
I won't stand on the sidelines anymore... I'm going to fight. I'm going to be strong.
I can do it
I can be the warrior I need to be... I can give up who I am.
I'll get through it
I will win this war... for him. For us.I'll make him proud.
I can take so much
Until I've had enough...
I can do it...and I will. But now, I need to find strength. To keep me going, to stop me from wanting to give it all up and join him, though it is much before my time to go... as it was in his case...
'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
But I'm not... not human even in the slightest sense of the word. I might have been when I was Marina, but now she's gone... trapped in the ice with him... together, in the most tragic of senses.
And that's why I can't afford to fall apart.
Now, I am Number Seven.
And I'm not going to let anyone else die because of me. I'm going to avenge Lorien, my race... and him.
Eight. My Eight.